I'm Sorry
by zlynnx
Summary: It's a Owen&Nikita story, created by my friend Marten originally in Chinese. We love Owkita, and we want them together. I'm afraid some parts of the translation would not be so "English", so any feedback is welcomed. Hope you like the story.
1. Kill Order

**Note: This is a story of Owen and Nikita, from Owen's view, starting from when he gets the order of killing Daniel. Since it's Owen's view, you can see what happens to Owen all along, which is not told in the show. The story goes similar as the show untill S02E11, it'll then be a new evolution. The end of this story will be a happy one, that after this crusade is all done, Owen and Nikita are together, living a sweet life, with maybe...two lovely kids :)**

**Leave your review and let me know if you like it. **

"A web designer?" I was in Percy's office, holding the target's file. The man in the picture, he had a bright smile, so bright that it even made me think his picture was never supposed to show up here.

"You know," Percy said with the typical Percy Sneer on his face, "same old same old. Female agent falls in love with her cover. Nothing fresh." By saying "fresh", Percy shrugged his shoulder.

"Heh…" I curled my lip slightly. Maybe influenced by the smile in the picture, I didn't know, but I smiled. And then I closed the file.

"I like your attitude, telling me that you'll never make that mistake, right?"

I tipped my head slightly. That said "yes".

"But you must be wondering, 'is this little shit really worth me', huh?"

I looked up at his face. Yeah he was right. I hated this sort of things, boring and unskilled. What I liked, was to take down someone that can be titled "rival" by me. Somehow I just liked that.

"Because she's the best." Percy said.

"Hmm?"

"She's the best, so the job needs to be done perfect, no defect allowed."

I reopened the file, "What's her name?" It's apparently not written in the file, which only told me what I needed to be told.

Percy stood up, smiling at me. That smile, I bet the whole Division were sick of it. He said, "You ask little, that's where I like about you."

I knew what he meant. Surely I did. But if it hadn't been for what he'd said, that she was the best, I would've not asked that question. Arrogant as Percy was, there's still a woman that deserved a "best" from him—that was much enough to interest me, though Percy was apparently not gonna encourage my interest.

"Well, what should I make it look like?" I asked.

"Accident."

"Copy."

The talk could end here. Percy knew he need say nothing else, cause I shall not let him down.

I put on my hat, walked out of his office, and left Division through my special path, which was not across the recruits' training yard. Of course it shouldn't, cause I didn't need to say "hi" to any of them, before they became my target.

Standing outside Division, I took off my hat. The sun was shining, shining straight through into my heart, and somehow making me uncomfortable.

"She's the best." I thought of Percy's word again, and curled my lip.

Daniel Monroe. It's the name that'll slip my head after tomorrow.

Accident made me feel easy. The routine was nothing a big deal to me though, anyway it's not pleasant.


	2. Daniel Monroe

It was a sunny Sunday morning.

I drove to that targeted place after a simple prep.

Beautiful scenery along the way. Here for vacation? Well, good taste.

Then again, I thought of Percy's word: she's the best.

And again, I curled my lip.

When I arrived at the dock, that Daniel guy was already there.

I got off my car and saw him standing by a boat, smiling even brighter than in the picture. I took off my hat. Damn, why the sun is even more shining than yesterday?

He waved his hand to me, still smiling. I raised my hand casually and then put it back to my pocket. And then I walked over to him.

He headed to me, smiling, of course.

Usually I didn't pay much attention to my target. No need. However this one, I observed him a bit.

Nothing special in general. Well, that was why he's perfect as a cover.

Yeah it's just with reason. But out of reason, I felt disappointed.

It was probably still for Percy's word: she's the best. And I subconsciously was sure that the cover she'd picked, should also be…

"Hi, I'm Daniel, Daniel Monroe." He friendly reached out his hand.

I stopped for a while, and shook hands with him.

"Owen Elliot." I said. In fact I had a fake name for this mission, as Percy said no defect was allowed. Name was certainly taken into my consideration. However while shaking his hand, I just changed my mind.

Maybe the second I told him my real name, the mission was no way to be perfect.

I guessed I was, kind of, recalcitrant. You are the best, aren't you? Then if you could find anything weird, any clue that leads to me, just come after me.

"Thank you, Mr. Elliot, coming all along here at weekends." said Daniel, with a kind of "sorry" meaning in his word, "I didn't know the boat here needs refitting. Had known it earlier, I would have picked another place."

"That's OK. It's just what I do." I shrugged my shoulder. That's OK, dude, really. Wherever else you picked, the boat there was gonna need a refit. Then I pointed at a boat, "That one?"

"Yes." He led me to the boat.

I went aboard, checked around, and said, "not that serious, just a little problem with the motor. Piece of cake."

"Complicated?" asked him.

"Not at all. Just a little bug, won't take long." I raised my head, and looked him in the eye. Yeah, it wouldn't take long. And so for you.

"Oh great." He seemed relieved, "I really don't want my fiancée to think that I'm suck at even looking for a vacation place."

Fiancée…whoa…heh…

I snirted a bit, and then realized it was not actually an appropriate expression that could show up on my face at this moment. I looked up to him, only to find that he was not even looking at me, not to mention seeing my expression. In fact, after spitting out the word "fiancée", his focus had switched to something else, at least, not anything right here on me, or the boat.

Oh really?

Heh… I snirted again. And to avoid a third snirt which I was pretty sure would come soon, I decided to devote myself to the refitting work. I walked to the stern, started out to handle the motor.

"You don't like to talk, ha?"

I heard him saying behind me, so I turned around to him.

"Oh, sorry… I mean, no offense…"

I shrugged my shoulder. That's OK, and he was actually right.

Reaper Protocol: no unnecessary communication with your target.

Percy believed that communication caused feelings, which would definitely make your job even harder. But on me, no worries at all. I didn't wanna give an even bit of interest in this little talking stuff. And, as far as I could see here, I really had no idea what I was supposed to say. Except for what's gonna happen to him, I barely knew anything about this man. Oh wait, there's one more thing I knew:

Fiancée.

Heh… Oh damn, I snirted, again.

Well OK, maybe I could find something to talk about.

"You look happy," I said, "about to get married?"

"Yes!" answered him, yeah, of course he was smiling.

"Oh um…your fiancée, she…" I was thinking what to ask about that woman. Is she…kick-assed? Quick hitter huh? And sharp mind? Oh no…I surely cannot ask these things. Well then, here we go a so common-to-boredom question, "Is she beautiful?"

"More than that…" His face lighted up just as the woman was standing right in front of him, "She's um…just so tender, adorable, and um…sometimes…naughty…"

I shrugged my shoulder, trying to let him know that I understand, but actually, oh god, I couldn't even imagine a bit.

"She's the best." Daniel said while looking at the ring on his finger.

I stopped my work in hand and raised my head. Two people had told me that she's the best, within just 48 hours. Now I was really intrigued.

I had a look at that guy, who was watching the sky with his head holding up high.

"Actually…I always ask myself…is this all…real?" He muttered.

"What?"

He looked back at me, "You know…I just can't believe that I got this big luck."

"Heh…" I lowered my head and smiled slightly.

Man, sometimes, when you can't believe something to be real, then you just shouldn't.

Now all pre-work was done. It had taken me 10 minutes. Actually it could have been faster.

It's just, talking to this guy, it kind of distracted me.

The expression on his face told me that he was still happy for the luck he couldn't believe he could get. He was my first target that had this kind of expression.

"Your fiancée…" I found myself desperate to see that "best" woman. And yeah, it was the first time I got this kind of…wish, "when will she get here?"

"By evening. She said she still had something in hand to deal with. I just hope it's not something troublesome." He had a glance at his watch, "Why?"

No trouble, dude. Actually it's nothing. It's just, Division wanted you to stay here alone till I have had you dealt with.

"Nothing," I answered, shrugging my shoulder, "just curious how lucky on earth you've got."

Oh god he smiled again, "Well I'd better you not see her. I would be worried."

I was astonished there. What?

"Because you are such a handsome guy."

"Heh…" I tipped my head a little to the left side.

"Hey, I was just kidding," He looked at me with a, kind of, genuine eye expression, "oh, about the worrying part." He explained, "The other part, I was serious. You sure are handsome."

I kept watching his smile for a while, and then jumped onto the shore from the boat. It's time to end this talk.

It was the first time that I ever thought what Percy said had its sense. Talking too much with the target really affected my mood.

"It's done? The refit?" He asked me.

I took a step ahead, adjusting the distance between him and me, making sure that in this position, my hand could move and put forth strength freely, "Yeah, it's done."

And then, my head lowered down, while my hand reached out.

Ka-bum… A clear and sharp howl from his neck bone pierced his skin and my palm, and then came into my ear. It's done. All done.

The whole process didn't last long, not long enough for him to feel any pain. Or at least, that's what I hoped.

I stared at his dead face. His mouth was keeping still there, with the shape that looked like he was just going to say "thank you". Somehow I felt kind of relaxed that he couldn't have the chance to say it out.

Then I had Daniel lying on board, and started the motor. When the cycle amount of motor hit a certain number which I'd set, the micro bomb attached in the front of the boat was gonna blow. The boat wouldn't crash then, only a few of cracks, not many, but enough for water to go in, and eventually sank the boat.

An aged boat sailed out without check and refit, by a non-sailor. That caused the accident. And that was just the truth of the accident. No one would ever know that I was there.


	3. The Best Woman

I ran along the road up to the mountain, picked a spot with a good view, and kept an eye on my target.

Soon, in a certain distance away from the seashore, I saw the boat sinking slowly. Well, by the time his fiancée got there, he might, float again…

Everything went as planned. Oh maybe not. I made a little revision.

According to my plan, Daniel would just be in a faint rather than dead, which made a more "real" drowning accident.

But, to avoid the case that he might wake up before the explosion and then died in suffering, which was not likely to happen though, I changed my plan. I didn't wanna take that risk. And yeah, it was my first time to do so.

Anyway, the job was done. And I may leave the place.

But I was still here, sitting against a tree, and watching the sea by the foot of the mountain.

Honestly, I felt bad. I didn't know why, cause I never had such same feelings before, after a mission.

Yeah, the previous missions, they never cheered me up or something, or more properly, I actually didn't feel things after a mission. But…this time…it's just so different from usual cases.

I talked with my target and…it was not bad…actually it was just good…

I changed my plan…

I didn't leave after I finished it…

How come then….

"She's the best." I was trying to find out why, but all in my mind, was just these three words.

Well OK…Show me how "best" you are.

I snorted and looked up to the sky.

And I was feeling that it's just the longest afternoon I'd ever experienced.

It's maybe because I didn't know what I was supposed to do. Usually, "how to kill time" was the last thing that I needed to worry about, because I seldom had any need-to-be-killed time. Division always provided me with something else to kill: People.

Meanwhile, my head was just a blank. Nothing to do, nothing to think, or…nothing to think of.

I suddenly realized that I didn't have anything in mind that could be called memory. For such a long time, the only people I'd ever got in touch with were my targets. I memorized one's name and appearance, just to make sure he was the right one to kill. And then I quickly forgot them… Oh wait… Daniel Monroe, and his never-stopping stupid smile, and his fiancée.

I gave a look at my watch. Two hours had passed, and I still remembered about that guy.

OK now…guess I've found something to do. Let's see by what time I can forget that name. Well, seems fun.

I snirted and kept watching the sky.

I didn't know how much time had gone, but it's getting dark.

She's coming huh?

I stood up, still not knowing why I'm staying, why I wanna see her, and…say I see her, then what?

It was just a kind of obsession that I couldn't define.

An incoming phone call interrupted my thinking.

I stared at the phone for a while, and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Owen?"

It was Percy.

"Yes?" I answered.

"It's done?"

"Yes…"

"Well then, you should have come back to me and got debriefed, 5 hours ago." said Percy, no negative or…any emotional emotion expressed, as always. "But you are still there." He added.

Oh shit…can't believe I forgot about my tracker. How would I…?

"Any problem?" asked Percy.

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"OK. Back to Division, now." said Percy, "Need you to do something."

"What?"

"What?" Percy repeated my word, in a tone that was hard for me to describe.

"Oh, no, sorry, I'm right coming back." I answered.

"Owen," Percy always had the ability to make one feel awful, through his, unique way of speaking out the words. And that ability, did not weaken a bit, even though in the phone, "the job today, you sure nothing wrong?"

"Yeah, all good. I'll be in Division in half an hour." I hung up the phone, and looked at my watch. Hey that guy, what was his name again? Daniel Monroe… Fine, I still remembered it. It's already beyond the "evening" range, isn't it? So…maybe let go…

Slowly, I walked into my car. Before I started the engine, I again turned to look at the sea.

Along the mountain road, there was no one else but me. However I was not driving fast, cause somehow I felt it difficult to stay focused today.

When I was about to transfer to the local road, a car flew past me in the opposite direction. Yeah, flew. That speed, though I was kind of absent, it didn't make sense that I'd not noticed the car. And the second it passed me, I caught that the driver is a woman.

Whoa, the women nowadays all have such a crazy driving style huh?

Wait…

I turned around, and then realized that this direction could only lead to nowhere but up on the mountain. I turned around my car as fast as I can and chased that woman even faster. Weird that I was so focused suddenly.

I was driving at the full speed, and at the risk of being caught by the speed-detection radar, but I couldn't get even a little closer.

Oh God, you crazy woman. Can't imagine how many tickets you could get if you drive like this for a whole day.

Division didn't like tickets, cause Percy didn't want any information of ours showing up elsewhere Division, nor did ourselves.

That was one of the top rules that you should remember when you were still a recruit. How you would make such a stupid mistake?

Due to this reason, for several times, I'd been wondering whether she really is the "best" woman or not. But then I denied myself, still because of this reason. A female that could drive at such a speed on such a kind of road. Such female, I bet there were not more than 10 in the world.

Interesting huh? I got to enjoy this racing game now.

But I didn't have much time to enjoy, cause I worked for Division, which of course disliked our off-time to be too long, say, over a whole afternoon.

So, the phone started ringing. It kept ringing for a long time, but I just kept ignoring it. I knew it was Percy, and I knew there was only ten minutes left before the time by which I need to be in Division. And I also knew, Percy now must be in his control room, through the screen that was operated by a nerd on whom I bet only the brain might has its point existing in the world, watching me very clearly driving at an extreme speed on a road that definitely cannot lead to Division within the fixed time.

It was not that I entirely didn't wanna answer the phone. It's just, at this speed, I didn't have a third hand to reach my phone from my pocket.

I didn't wanna give up this chase, not when I was already getting closer to her.

The phone stopped ringing, but in only a second, it rang again.

Realizing if I still ignored it I then might be found by her tomorrow, dead in the sea, together with that Daniel guy, I roughly put on the brake.

Shit!

I saw that car quickly disappearing from my sight, but could do nothing with it. Oww damn! I punched very violently on the steering wheel, and then picked up the phone.

"Owen." This time, I heard a vey clear unhappy mood in Percy's voice. This happened not much, which apparently indicated how serious this whole thing had been messed up by me. "I hope you understand what you are doing now, otherwise, I think it's necessary for Amanda to have a little talk with you." said Percy.

"Heh…" I didn't like his beating-about-the-bush tone, thus was not planning to go in concert with it, always, "I'm just curious about this woman, nothing else. In fact I wouldn't have been so curious if you'd described this job a little less exaggerated. You know where I am, so, don't be too stingy on the number of cleaners you're gonna send here."

"Heh heh…" He began to laugh. Then I knew I passed this time. He knew my way, that I never hid my feelings, so he knew I was telling the truth. It was good for him. In is perspective, people like me, were always easy to handle. "30 minutes from now, you back here in Division. And, remember not to show up on any incorrect route." Percy said.

"Got it."

"Well, 40 minutes maybe. Watch your speed." Percy added.

"OK." I hung up the phone, sat still for a while, and turned around again.


	4. New Mission

What the mission will be?

On the way back Division, I thought of this.

Usually, according to Percy's way to act, if an agent had built such a kind of relationship with a civilian, then this agent would be canceled as well. Because such an agent can no longer be trusted.

Then…will the mission be…?

No, it could't be. If that way, he could have given me the order when I was back there on the mountain road.

Shit, what is it then?

The first time I got so desperate to know about a coming mission.

After 35 minutes, I stood in Percy's office.

"It's interesting, your behavior today." Percy looked at me, smiling an unpleasant smile.

"I already explained it." I smiled back, believing my smile was no way pleasing Percy, either.

"Right," said him, "but I quite like to study people's out-of-line behavior, especially, someone like you, someone always on the line."

"Just curious." I said "You know, it's not something on the line either, that someone deserves your…that kind of compliment."

His smile was less unpleasant now.

"What's the mission?" Patience was never the thing I'd got.

"Here." A file slipped to me from Percy.

I held it and couldn't wait to open it. It was the file of a male agent. I felt a little disappointed, or more probably…a sort of…relief.

"He's blown." Percy crossed his fingers and said, "According to a reliable source, Gogal already has an eye on him."

"So you wanna him down before Gogal takes action?"

He curled his lip, "You are born to be a reaper."

"I got it." I closed the file. I had no question on this man.

"Glad you are back on the line."

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing." He tipped his head.

"Heh…" I snirted, "guess I'm the only one here asking little question."

"To a certain extent, yes." Percy nodded.

I leaned out, kept my eyes on him, and said, "Then if I ask one question now, I'll not be the one asking the most questions here, right?"

He stopped for a second, and smiled, "Yes."

I knew he actually did not like me saying this. In Division, everyone was like the character in those fight games, having a blood groove in which there's blood supply controlled by Percy. If someone's groove got empty, it would then be my or another cleaner's show time. And for now, because of what I'd just said, I was sure a quarter of my blood was just cut off.

"That woman, what you're gonna do with her?" I asked.

Percy shrugged his shoulder.

"If it were a usual case, you would cancel her as well." I kept saying.

Percy was frowning at me.

"Heh…just because she is the best? You are reluctant to cancel her? Right?"

Percy still did not answer me, but I could tell from his expression, I was guessing right. However, I didn't think it was a good thing. In most cases, Percy did not want others to know what exactly he had in mind. And just because of my right guess, another quarter of my blood would probably be cut off by him.

"One day," I continued, "if you wanna cancel her," I looked up at Percy's face, "it must be me that do it." I knew saying this might not achieve the effect that I'd expected, but I still wanna say it, even if a third quarter of my blood was gone.

"Why?" Percy asked, touching his jaw.

"Because I'm the best reaper here." I stared at him, spitting out my words one by one.

"Heh…" His smile seemed very kind and nice.

I stood up, asks, "Anything else?"

"Nope. Brief me as soon as you finish the job."

"OK." I turned around and was about to leave the office.

"Owen." Percy stopped me.

"Yes?"

"Is it worth?"

Stunned for a second, I snirted a bit, and walked out of the office.

I got his point: you barely know or meet this woman, but now you just wasted your life-span here for her, is it really worth?

I could never expect that I threw this question back to Percy 3 years later, still because of this woman.

I didn't answer to him back there not because I didn't want to, but because I had no answer myself. It did make sense that Percy cannot understand my behavior, because nor could I.

However there's one thing I was pretty sure now. Percy's daydreaming about that woman still working loyally for Division. I bet she would, must, do something. I didn't know why I would think so, and why I was so sure of it.

Then I got outta Division through my path, and got into my car.

I looked at my watch. It was the time, for the woman to sense that something was wrong. But as it was late, I didn't think she could find anything, anyone. Then the next morning at least, she would finally find the one she'd been looking for, by the means she might not be able to accept.

No wait…maybe she would be able to…

I couldn't really understand what they were thinking - those who had made such personal connections with people outside Division, not now, not until I eventually became one of them.

Well, maybe now I should just focus on my own business. So I turned on the light in the car, and started to read the target's file. Thanks to that woman, my life-span may be only one-mission long, so this mission, it had to be a success.

He was a cleaner, on the mission after a man that Gogal was also hunting. His cover was a investment analyst, living in a high-rise apartment downtown. His tracker's signal receiving channel was x23651, showing now he was right at home.

That's enough.

I closed the file, and started the car.

I believed everything was all good and ready. My cleaner's equipment was right there in the trunk. He was a cleaner himself, so maybe I could use his equipment.

With a non-caring smile, I was driving ahead to my target's place.

But there was one thing that I'd completely forgotten, a regular but extremely important thing. I did not realize how serious this could be, for I'd never forgot it before, thus never got to know the aftermath of forgetting it.

Looking back from years later, I just realized that it seemed my whole living rhythm has been messed since I knew the existence of that woman.


	5. Francis Kane

When I arrived at the apartment building, I saw the light from that cleaner's apartment.

I opened up the trunk, got out my equipment case, walked up the outside stairs, and got into the elevator.

17th floor. Then I walked out of the elevator, along the corridor, stepped nearer to his room. My hand was on my gun that was held on my belt.

Right here. I put my left hand on the door handle, and turned it. It's open! I was a little surprised. He hasn't locked the door? I was stunned there, with my hand holding the gun tight, and then, held it up the moment I pushed the door. I nipped into the doorway and quickly shut the door.

My gun pointed around the room, but I just found no target to shoot.

And just then, I heard the music. I didn't actually have a gene on music, but, the damn music seemed to be the only source now for me to find where my target was.

So I walked to the living room, still holding up my gun, and only to find my target sitting in the couch, watching TV.

"Hi." He turned to me, and smiled a greeting.

"Good timing you know, it's my favorite song…" He seemed to be all out of situation.

I certainly did not respond, but put down my case, moved my finger onto the trigger.

"Hey," He raised his hands and stood up, letting me see that he was unarmed, "my equipment is over there." He pointed to a case in the corner, a case that looked the same as mine, "That one beside, it's for my guns." He then pointed to a case next to the former one. I looked over there, believing he was telling the truth. All guns should be in that case. Cleaner's equipment was all standardized offered by Percy.

I looked around the living room.

"Hey," he said, "if there's someone else here, what the percentage you think it is that he hasn't come out and put a bullet in your head?"

I still did not say a word, but pointed at him with my gun.

"You recognize this?" His finger was pointing to a small stuff on the teapoy.

I shook my head.

"Oh, right. You have not seen what it looks like outside the body. Just pay a little attention next time, when you are doing the cleaning."

"It's the tracker?"

"Yep."

"How you got it out?"

"Well maybe we can leave it later. I don't think we can have a nice talk like this." He shrugged his shoulder, "Just wanna make a clarification, if I am planning something, I would have put a bomb here together with the tracker, and blown it when you stepped in. Quick and simple. No need to talk to you here with my hands up."

I thought about his words for, maybe 0.2 seconds, and was sure what he'd said, made a little sense.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"Well…" He said with a pout, "so far I want to stop the music, cause I just missed that part." Then he had a look at the remote on the sofa.

I picked it up and threw it to him.

"Thanks." He pressed the pause button, "Cavalleria rusticana – Intermezzo, Mascagni. My favorite. What do you think? Lots of movies like it, ah…The Godfather, III, thanks to the music, I've forgiven that suck."

I had no idea what he was talking about, and not interested to.

"You haven't seen it? Oh man, you really should've made a full use of what Percy had given you."

"Hey what do you want?" I got really sick of people babbling to me, which I'd just been through for a whole morning.

"You can actually put your gun down." His face seemed to get a little bit serious, "You can hold it up later; you'll have that chance."

"What do you mean?"

He shrugged his shoulder, while face got more serious, "You are a cleaner, I'm the target, and we both know you need to finish your job."

"I wanna finish it, now."

"Believe me," said him, "I could only want more." Then he pointed at that case of guns on the floor.

Shit! If this stupid talk went on, I would probably shoot at myself first. Considering this, I put my gun down.

"Thank you." He said, and asked by gesture if he could lay down his hands. I nodded slightly.

"Finally we can talk, normally."

"What the hell you wanna talk?" asked me, "And what the hell happened to that tracker?"

"Gogal took it out."

"So you work for Gogal?"

"Not really. Percy set this up, letting Gogal have me, half a year ago, and then I started working for them, pretended, of course."

"What?"

"I know you understand me; you just can't believe it." He said, with a smile that is so bleak, "I don't wanna repeat it, cause it's not easy."

"What happened then?" I asked.

"Then it is all in the file that Percy gave to you. I got caught." He tipped his head, "Missions that were assigned to a guy, only the Division-related parts, success rate was almost zero. And since that guy joined in, any other mission that was against Division, has gone very awry." He smiled, "Who do you guess that guy could be?"

"Then why they still leave you alive?" I was still suspicious.

"Because they know Percy will have me taken care of. I'm just a small potato, not worth their time and energy. Besides, they don't actually wanna blow any part of themselves, not when they've already got what should get."

"Come on." I said, "Percy would not assign such a mission to a nobody. And you've be on it for almost 6 months." I was actually kind of admiring him when saying this.

"Percy's got this talent," said him, "making you feel that you are a somebody. And you believe it so much that maybe decades later you would probably get this luck to find out you are just a nobody without Division."

You are just a nobody without Division. This sentence, I always thought of it later.

But at this moment, I didn't believe so. "You already got out your tracker, why don't you just give it a shot and walk away?" I knew he had such an ability to do so.

"I can't." He shook his head, "You still don't know Percy's style? The more ability you have, the less trust he has on you."

"What do you mean? …Oww…" Just saying this, I felt a sharp headache hitting me. If you were from Division, your definition to Pain would be much less narrow than average people's. But this, was really a sort of pain that I could never take. In addition, under that pain, I would do anything that was even beyond my imagination.

"I thought so…"

I faintly heard him saying this, and felt that he went get something, broke off my mouth, which took him a lot of force cause I'd already been in convulsion because of the pain, and then he put some powder into my mouth, some powder with a familiar taste. But I barely had the thinking ability right now.

Then I felt him sitting beside me.

And my headache began to die away.

"Feel better now?" He asked me.

"What's going on?" I still felt a slight pain in my head. I stood up against the wall, with my hands holding my head, "What you just fed me?"

"Something you should take regularly everyday." said him, "The Regimen."

"What?"

"You head would've not ached if you'd taken it as Percy's instruction. Seems that it's the first time you had the headache. Have not taken it today, right?"

Oh yeah, I remembered. I did forget to take the Regimen. I was there on the mountain waiting the best woman the time I was supposed to go back home and take the pills. And then, the whole Regimen thing just slipped my mind.

"This…how did you know?" I asked him.

"Similarly as you've just gone through." He shrugged his shoulder, "Doesn't matter how I got to know it. I just want you to know, that you'll always be Percy's slave unless you find a way to finally get rid of it."

"How…"

"Listen," He seemed to be very hurried, "I'm running out of time. Have to tell you something."

"Wh…what time?"

"Shut up and listen." He said, "This is all I could find, about this Regimen, all in this file." He took out a CD, "Most parts of it, they might be not that useful. But that's all I could get. Look, you need to cut down your dosage, slowly, which might not be comfortable."

"What's your dosage now?"

"1/3."

"Wow!" I let out a breath, "It's only 6 months. You are about to succeed." I said, pressing my head, which was still aching a little, "You are about to get out of Percy's control."

"No. It'll get much harder in the later stage." He shook his head, "And…it's just the beginning. I said, you are a nobody without Division. No identity, no family, no friends, nothing, you don't belong to the world out there."

"You can try to get in it."

"Yeah maybe you can."

"Why you give up?"

"Both Percy and Gogal won't allow me in here. It's just a matter of time, you know. And…" He leaned against the wall, "I've tried so many ways, to get rid of this little stuff. But I just got so tired. I cannot get through it anymore."

"Hey, you're aching? Where're your pills?"

"None."

"What?"

"I said it's a matter of time." He pointed at me, "You just took, that much, it was all I left."

"What the fu…Wait here!" I told him, and decided to go back home as fast as I can and bring my pills here.

"You idiot, then both of us will get killed." He steps out and cuts off my way ahead.

"Get away!" I shouted at him.

"Listen, I'm not done yet." He grabbed my collar, with a strength due to which I could hardly believe what he'd just said about cannot getting through. But the sweat in his face proved his words, he was not lying. "The Regimen, it does not just cause your pain, but also let you go out of control, and do something insane."

"Like what?"

"Like…keep me away from those guns."

"Why? Hey…hey!"

He lowered down his head, thus I cannot see his face. Then he threw me onto the floor, and rushed to that gun case.

"Hey…" I got up, but his gun was already aiming at me.

"Hey!" I rolled to behind the sofa; meantime the bullet had already scratched my arm. By the loud sound, I knew the other side of the sofa must be smashed by him. This was the something insane he'd talked about? Well, this was actually the normal situation here, speaking of my mission today.

I held my gun. Honestly, I didn't wanna fire. I was waiting him shooting away his bullets.

But I didn't get that chance. Maybe my hiding here pissed him off, he ran over here, stepped on the sofa, and held his gun against my head.

Without any thinking, I shot at him.

His bullet only came into my shoulder, while mine, it was apparently not as friendly.

"Oh God…" I watched him rolling down along the sofa to the floor. I struggled up, and stepped near him…and then, yeah, I knew I'd finished the job, unwillingly.

I sat aside him, closed his eyes, and looked up at the ceiling.

I knew I had something else to do with the body. But for now, I just didn't want to do it.

I stood up, turned on his CD player, and turned the volume up to the highest.

Then I sat back down, together with him, listening to this song.

I still haven't got the gene on music, but yeah, he was right, it's a damn good song.

I opened up his file.

Francis Kane.

The first time I remembered a target's name…no wait…the one before him…Daniel Monroe…

Speaking of him, that woman should be searching for him now…It's damn cold along the seashore at night…

Looking at the body here, I suddenly had the impulsion to drive back to that dock, telling that woman, "Hey, just stop searching. I know where he is, how about I telling you and you then put a bullet in my head?"

The song got to its end. I took out the CD, and my acid, and there began my routine.

Damn I felt bad.


	6. First Call

I finished the cleaning, and left the apartment with what Francis had given me.

Sitting in the car, I held my phone until I made sure that I would not shout at him a "son of bitch" after Percy picked up, and then I dialed his number.

"How'd it go?" He picked up quickly.

"Target's been canceled. All done." I tried my best not to say it between my teeth.

"Well, everything good?"

"No."

"No? What's wrong?"

"He was tough." I was kind of telling the truth, "I got luck."

"Oh, it's the first time I ever heard you speaking highly of your rival."

"That's because it's the first time you ever assign me a good one."

"Heh heh…" Hearing this laughter, I was sure that if he were now standing in front of me with that face, I would definitely give him a punch.

"Anything else?"

"None."

Then I hung up the phone, sitting there, considering what to do next. The two targets today had already turned my brain into a chaos. And with my left shoulder shot, I barely had any strength to do anything. I had to go right back home and got out the bullet. However I still wanna go to the seashore.

I drove with my right hand, heading in the sea direction. But on the half way, I realized, the reason that Percy wanted me to make it look like an accident, was that he did not want her to know it was Division that did it. He still wanna keep her. He believed if she didn't know the truth, she would still work for Division. So if I just went there and told her what actually had happened, there was no way that Percy let her live.

"Shit!" I pressed hard on the brake, again.

God knows why I wanted that woman to live safe and sound.

I slumped over the steering wheel, thinking how I could stop her blind search in mountain, without me going there. I skimmed over my address list in which there were some numbers that I'd kept for this mission. I picked one number and dialed it.

A moment later, someone picked up the phone.

"Hello, Adirondacks Dock Administration. Can I help you?"

"Oh hi…um…I wanna ask for something, that today, noon or evening, was there a man called Daniel Monroe contacting you to sail out?"

"Oh?" That man seemed surprised, and his tone sounded a little bit strange, "Did you just say Daniel Monroe?" Then I heard a loud noise from his side.

"Come on, someone here is talking about him. Come on!" It was not said to me. That man was shouting to the people around him, which made me feel that I was making the right call. "Excuse me sir, have you ever contacted him? Do you know anything about him?"

"Oh I do the boat check and refit in the renting spot, and should have checked his boat that he'd rented earlier. We've made it 10 o'clock this morning."

"That's great. You just offered us a useful lead. Great. Got her?"

"Sorry?"

"Oh, this is it. We are also looking for this man, and his fiancée, she was just here asking about him. I'll get her on the phone."

"Wh…what?"

I was hoping to give her a little help, but never expected it would be in such a direct way.

I felt nervous, not because I was afraid the whole thing would blow, but…talking was always my weak point, especially with women, especially with this woman…My heart was beating extraordinarily fast.

"Hello?"

It was the first time I heard her voice, desperate, shivery, and a little bit raucous. Maybe she had already called her fiancé's name along the seashore for hundreds of times.

Sometimes when you heard a voice for the first time, you may probably sketch its owner's face in your head, wondering how he or she looked. But when I heard that woman's voice, I could hardly sketch her. Three years later, when I heard her again, I also couldn't connect that voice with this one right now on the phone.

"Ah…" I didn't why but I adjusted my collar, and said, "hi."

"You know about Daniel Monroe, right? Have you seen him today?"

"No, I haven't…but we called…what happened? Is he…missing?"

"Yes…I'm looking for him…" I seemed to hear a low restrained sniffle when she was saying "yes". And I could hear her breathing through the phone, guess she'd been running and searching around the dock for many times. "You have contacted him this morning, right?" asked her.

"Yes. I should have checked the boat he'd rented at 10 this morning. But I was still tied up by the previous one at that time, so I called and told him that I would be a little bit late."

"So you did connect him then?"

"Yes, but…later then, I couldn't reach him anymore."

"The second time you called him, what the time then?"

"11 o'clock." I tried to offer her an exact time, "I arrived at the 17th dock at 11:30, but he wasn't there. I waited for a while, but he didn't show up. Since I got other boats to check and refit, I left there then."

"It was the 17th dock, right?"

"Yes. That's where we made to meet." I said, "I couldn't reach him, the several calls after that. And I got no other numbers of him, so I now just called this number…Is there something that happened…I just hope I could help."

"Thank you, sir. You've already helped a lot."

I held my phone a little away from my ear, when I felt that she's about to say "thank you". I didn't really wanna hear that.

"17th dock…" I could hear her repeating this, and I knew I'd already given her the information that I thought she needed to know.

"Ah…good luck…" Yeah, good luck, tonight, tomorrow, and…when you go back to Division…

I still kept my phone away for a period that I believed was enough for her to finish saying "thank you". Then I hung up.

I exhaled a heavy breath. It was finished, my first time talking to this woman.

All that I'd prepared for this, it turned out be unnecessary. This was just an ordinary woman looking for her fiancé. All she'd said, I cannot match any of her words with the "Division's top assassin" identification. And three years later, I finally understood, being ordinary, was something just so luxurious to someone like us.


	7. Alive！

I almost drove back home with a single hand, and threw myself onto my bed. I felt exhausted.

My left shoulder was aching violently. I'd got shot before, but never as suffering as today. I suddenly realized, was it the Regimen that made me numb with pain?

I sat up. Under an extreme pain, I got out the bullet, sterilized the wound, bound it up, and then cleared out the blood on the bullet. I went get a knife, and polished the bullet's surface. Then I put it away on my bookshelf.

Meantime, I noticed my books on the shelf. They were just for furnishing, convincing others that here lived a normal average man. I'd never read them, so it was with those movies and music discs beside the books.

"You should've made a full use of what Percy had given you."

All of a sudden, I thought of Francis' words. So, I picked a DVD by random, and put it into the player. Then I sat back on my bed, watching.

To be honest, the movie was just so so. Those what surprised people a lot in the movie, were so insipid as plain water when compared with what I kept going through everyday. However I still kept watching the movies, one by one.

It was because these things, they killed my time. And they prevented me from thinking and guessing about that woman.

I didn't remember what time I fell asleep.

When I was awakened the next morning by a sudden headache, I found myself still with my clothes on. The TV remained on as well. I slept with the movie?

It was apparently not the normal case. Division's training towards cleaners has already adjusted our biological clock to such status that we sleep at 11 p.m. and wake up at 4 a.m., excluding the exceptional cases. I didn't know what time it was now, but I could be sure it's unlikely to be 4.

I struggled to where I stored my Regimen with hands holding my head. I got out the four bottles, and fetched out one pill from each bottle. When I was about to throw the pill into my mouth, Francis words hit me, so I divided the pill into two parts.

With the Regimen, I felt much better. I caught a glance at my watch. It was 7:15, almost twice longer than my usual sleeping time.

What did I do yesterday? Why I feel so tired?

Ah…she's the best…That was still the clearest sentence remaining in my mind.

Thinking of this, I stood up and looked outside the window. The sunlight was much milder than yesterday. And what I did, should have already been exposed in the sun.

What she would do…?

I sat down against the wall, holding my phone in hand.

Usually, at this timing, if I didn't have any mission, I would go running after breakfast. That I didn't feel repulsion for a mission didn't mean I expected one. Even top killers would no way expect to kill.

However today, I was expecting a mission, any mission. I just hoped that Percy called me back to Division, then I could ask him face to face whether that woman had returned or not. Before that, I could hardly do nothing.

I didn't know how long I'd kept sitting there until an incoming phone call aroused me.

I leaped from the floor, and quickly caught a glimpse at the phone. Seeing it's the name starting with the letter P, I picked up the phone.

"Owen?" The first time I ever felt Percy's voice was kind of tender.

"It's me."

"Come to Division now. New mission." His voice was peaceful, which made me kind of relieved.

"OK. Within 20 minutes."

I hung up, jumped over the bed with one arm against its side for support, hurriedly collected every stuff I need carry, and rushed out of my room.

About 15 minutes later, I showed up in Percy's office, still gasping out of a high-speed running.

"You are always quick, but unexpectedly quicker this time." said Percy.

"I'll take it as a compliment."

"Maybe." He nodde and pointed at the file on the table.

I could't wait to open it. And still, not knowing it's relief or disappointment, I let a breath out. The target was a male agent I didn't know of before.

"West Coast?"

"Yes." He had a look at his watch, "The earliest flight is in an hour, hope you can catch it."

"Hurried, huh?" I sorted the file, "Then why don't you call earlier?"

"Owen," He smiled, "I didn't know you changed your style."

"I don't have a style." I leaned my both hands on the table, "Is she back?"

"Who?" asked him. I bet he knew who I was asking.

"That best one."

"Heh…you seem interested."

"Not really. It's just, you promised me that if you wanna cancel her, you'll let me do it. So, just make sure my target is still breathing."

"She just returned, not long ago." said him, "Well done, you. She found nothing."

"OK." I already got what I needed to know, "I'll call you after boarding." Then I almost ran out of the office.

Yeah, it seemed that I smiled a really silly smile when I left his office.


	8. Sad Promotion

Standing outside Percy's office, I was hesitating for 2 minutes for "why don't I hang around inside Division to 'come across' that woman". And then, unwillingly, I dropped this idea.

I walked out of Division into the sunlight. And it seemed that I then kept my silly smile on face for the rest of the day.

Maybe it was because for so long a time, I hadn't experienced something called happiness. Therefore, I never knew what degree of smile I was supposed to show for something like this.

I thought I should be grateful to this woman, who had reminded me that as a cleaner, I've still got such ability to be happy, which only belonged to those so-called higher animals.

While soon, I realized that she had also reminded me of another not-supposed-to-belong-to-me ability: to be unhappy. And this ability was apparently stronger than the to-be-happy one。

But it was already one month later when I came to realize this.

In this month, I'd been maintaining a really good mood, and dealing with a guy that used to help Percy with money laundering but eventually laundered some money into his own pocket, and a bunch of company of that guy. It was not difficult. I soon went back Division after the arrival of another man Percy'd sent to continue the laundering work.

I stood in front of Percy, maybe still with a good expression.

"Well done, like always." said Percy.

"It's nothing a bid deal. What's the next one?"

"I have a special job for you."

"What job?"

"This." He turned around to his safe and got out a little black box.

"What is this?"

"Your job is to protect this box, safe and sound."

"What does that mean?"

"Means you go to Montreal, find a suitable place, rent a safe, put this box into it, and make sure it's always in it."

"Montreal?"

"Yes."

"OK." I breathed out, "Give me the container key."

"There's no container key."

"What? Then what about my equipment…?"

"You are promoted, Owen."

"What?" I squinted at Percy, "What means I'm promoted?"

"That means, you don't need to cancel anyone anymore. You are no longer a cleaner." He stood up and said, "Now you are a guardian." He then put a pile of documents in front of me, "Your new identity. Have fun in Montreal."

"Wait…"

"What's wrong?"

"How long I'm gonna take care of this little box?"

"Well, it depends."

"Fine, but I wanna make sure of one thing." I knew I was again saying something that Percy disliked to hear. It was much easier to break the rules once you had already broken one before.

He looked at me with head aslant, "What thing?"

"You promised me one thing, remember? That best woman."

"Oh? Er…" His expression told me that he had remembered about her. But somehow this time, it was a little bit different from the previous expressions.

"If you wanna cancel her, you must let me do it."

He did not respond.

"So, during the time I'm being the guardian, you can't…"

"It's already unnecessary."

"What?"

"She's dead."

"What?"

I was nearly shocked there for about five minutes, and then I heard him repeating the words.

"She's dead."

"Wait…" I raised my head, "what do you mean by 'she's dead'?"

He shrugged, "I don't think there's a second meaning of this sentence."

"You promised you wouldn't have someone else cancel her!" I used all my strength to hold on my anger, making sure I wouldn't shout at Percy.

"I didn't." He shook his head, "She got shot in a mission."

I frowned and did not say anything.

Actually what I really wanna say was: It's not possible. But I just held it back, which proved to be the right decision later.

"Owen." said Percy, "I won't be less sorry for her death. She was my best agent, she still is. Losing her is quite a big loss to me." He paused for a second, and lowered his head with only his eyes on me, "What I'm confused now is, why you seem to be so upset…"

"You don't need to find it out, as she's already dead." But actually I was also a little confused.

I looked up at his face, "When you need me to get to Montreal?"

"Heh…" He smiled. I knew I'd already returned to the satisfactory state. He continued, "Within this week. You can enjoy your weekends there."

"OK." I walked out of his office with all the documents.

I felt a sort of frustration. It was hard for me to describe though.

The way from Division to my place, I felt that I could hardly raise my shoulder. Finally I understood about those movies telling that mood had its strength and something like that. It was true.

Back home, I quickly packed up everything I needed to take to Montreal. And then, I picked up the bullet on the bookshelf, and sat on the floor against the wall, playing the little bullet.

This whole month, it was just so unreal. No…it was actually couldn't be more real.

I'd had two chances to do something that were different from usual. But the first chance, I watched it passing away; and the second, I thought I did it, but…

Heh…

I stared at the bullet with a sneer.

Maybe from the very beginning, all that I'd done, was just bullshit. So, just come back to my normal quiet and stable life. That's my life. And that maybe would make me feel easier, at least, much easier than how I was feeling now. My heart seemed to keep aching for moths since I'd heard of that woman's death. And months later, I started to get better. I thought that I'd recovered, but I was wrong. Those what you hid deeply in your heart, they were not gone as they seemed to be; they were just protected even better.

The next morning, I took the flight to Montreal.


	9. Meeting Emily

The plane landed in Montreal. I firstly went find my living place. Holding the address paper, I looked around the building and then saw some butterfly-like colored glass on the window of the neighbor's flat. The glass was reflecting the sunlight, so bright that it was unlikely not to attract my attention.

Heh…I had seen childish neighbors before, but to this degree, I figured it was the first one. The reason I was so sure that it was a childish person rather than there may be kids in this family, was that Percy had already made a careful investigation around this place. He would pick a place with few kids, to avoid those unnecessary communications. And, kids, due to their curiosity, always would find out something that was not supposed to be found, something would catch people's attention. But Percy…are you sure this neighbor will be less curious than kids?

I pushed open the apartment door and walked in. The administrator helped me check in and then showed me to my flat.

"How do you think, Mr. Elliot?"

"It's good. Thank you."

In fact I didn't carefully look around this flat. Just a place to sleep, anywhere worked.

After the administrator left, I brought the box and a map, and went outside to find a suitable bank according to Percy's requirements.

Those requirements were all universal ones, which Division agents had been obeying to choose their cover. Those requirements were in my mind for so long a time that even if I chose a place as will, this place would exactly meet the requirements.

It's just like the way back home. You would always get home whatever route you chose to go. Well…how would I think of such a metaphor as I never had a home concept in my mind? Later I came to know that this concept, everyone had it, no matter he was having a home or never had one.

Anyway, 3 hours later, I was sure I'd already found a bank that Percy would like. I went in and rented a safe, then put the little box into it. After all the formalities were done, I left the bank. The whole process almost did not run through my head. I did it all out of habit, for I just knew it so well since I had been a cleaner.

After that, I went back to my "home", and called Percy, making a brief report. Then I sat on the floor and read my file about my new identity:

Landscaper.

Kidding?

I didn't like it. Thought I didn't really need to be one, I still couldn't deny my aversion to this profession. Anyone could connect me with a landscaper? So I pointed it out to Percy on the phone.

"Then act better." said Percy, "Read about those books."

However, it was actually a good cover. I need not deal with the neighborhood, need not go to and off work at the scheduled time. And people would not feel strange when I didn't show up for a long period.

So, that's it. A new cover wouldn't have any big difference.

Then I lay in the couch.

A moment later, I heard the doorbell ringing.

I bounced out of the couch, and quickly grabbed my gun from waist. Slowly, I stepped to the door.

Very quietly, I got to the door and looked outside the door through the peep-hole.

Hmm?

It was a woman. Black hair, black eyes. Can't tell the age, cause she looked like a grown-up, but somehow…childish.

Why you came to my flat? I frowned, trying to figure out a possible reason, but in vain.

"Not back yet?"

I heard her saying this, so I looked again through the peep-hole. I saw her squat down, thus couldn't see what she was doing there. According to the sound, I guessed she was putting something there. And then according to the time it took, I guessed she was also writing something. The she stood up, left my doorway. Not long later, I heard her close the door of her flat, which made me believe that she was exactly the one decorating the window with those boring stuffs.

I waited at the door for a moment, making sure there was no one outside. Then I slowly opened the door. A little box came into my sight, to which attached a piece of paper with some words on it. I quickly got the box inside and shut the door.

I put my gun down, and read the words on the paper:

"Hi, this is Emily, your neighbor. Welcome to this place. The flat you live has been vacant for 6 months, so I'm really happy that you move here. I made some cakes, have a taste! Hope we're pleased to get along with."

Then I opened the box. The cake…hmm…looked good.

What now?

Sitting in the couch, I kept my eyes on the cake. And then I reached my "Guardian Protocol", though I was sure it could hardly offer any help about "how to deal with an over hospitable neighbor". Percy would've no way considered such boring topics in the protocol. Hah, sooner or later he would definitely find out this big miss.

Whatever. Just finish it then.

I'd never got a good mouth for food, but I had to say, this cake tasted wonderful.

But…what then?

What then…?

I scratched my head. Normally, I need at least say "hi"…but, considering the no communication rule, I didn't think to say "hi" was a good idea, but…I'd taken the greeting gift, so just for politeness, I should send something in return. After all, freezing the relationship between me and neighbors is apparently another need-to-be-avoided communication style. So…what to return…?

I looked around my flat then. Well, if she had no interest in guns or chemicals, I have nothing here to give her. And my cooking…I could say for certain that she would prefer to be my target rather than eat something I cooked.

Oh God, why I would meet such a problem as soon as I got here? I'd never handle the similar before, but I just believed I was supposed to get it done as soon as possible.

Then the next morning, after I got up and had a quick breakfast, I walked out of my flat.


	10. My Butterfly

I went downtown with the help of the map. But when I got there, I saw few people. Oh yeah, at this time, I didn't think people would like to come out doing some shopping. And, shops were of course not likely to be open.

I hung around this area, not actually knowing what I was looking for. Yeah, I knew I was looking for something that could be sent as a gift, but what the hell could that be? Suddenly I, again, expected a mission from Percy, cause handling a specific target was always easier than looking for a target that I actually had no idea of.

When Percy asked me to cancel someone, he would at least tell me his name, profession and interests. But this one that I was now dealing with, I only knew she's called Emily, who was my neighbor, and had some childish butterfly glass on her window…Wait…butterfly…

I remembered on the show window of a store I'd just passed, there was a butterfly-like stuff. So I went back there, looked at that stuff carefully, and was sure it was another childish decoration. Hmm, it might be her style. Thinking this, I decided to wait outside the store for the storekeeper.

About an hour later, the store got opened.

"Hah…" I let out a breath, and walked in.

"I've never met a guy waiting outside before opening on the Thanksgiving morning." The storekeeper smiled at me. He was a nice old man.

"Heh…" I touched my head, admitting that I was kind of out of line. It was because I came from an out-of-line place.

"So, what can I do for you, kid?"

"Ah…" I point to that butterfly, "how much is it?"

"That wind-bell?"

Oh right…that was a wind-bell…

"Yes."

"30 bucks."

"Oh, OK."

Then he asked me if it was for gift, and I said yes, so he helped me wrap the box well. Out of the store with the wind-bell, I felt a big relief. It was so tiring to build relationship with people outside Division.

Thinking of this, that woman again came into my mind. Or more properly, I didn't think I had ever forgotten about her.

Why would I be involved into such boring and exhausting things and people?

After I got back to my flat, I wrote a note and pasted it onto the gift box. Then I put it at the door of Emily's flat. What I had written on the note was just general: self-introduction, and compliment on her cooking.

Then I walked out again, hanging around this city and collecting the information I needed.

When I got back in the evening, I caught a glimpse on Emily's window, and I saw the wind-bell had already been hung up on the windowsill.

I didn't know why but I couldn't help smiling. It felt like…I had taken down a really tough guy and…ah…not exactly…how to say it…well whatever, since I only knew few cases that could be used to compare, well yeah, maybe it was just like that.

However my smile didn't last long. I soon found a note attached to the door of my flat. I looked down at the ground with nervousness, and…a new box…

Hell no…

1 minute later, the box was on my table, unfolded. In it was another piece of cake, looking prettier than the previous one. And should taste better, I guessed.

A note was lying beside the box, saying: Thank you, Mr. Elliot. It is the most beautiful gift I ever received. It really surprised me. I wanted to say thank you to you but you were not at home. And I don't know what you like…so I just made another cake. Hope it won't disappoint you.

I had been staring at this cake for 10 minutes.

This thing was no way gonna end as easily as I had thought. Seemed I had to well prepare for this long-term fight with this woman.

So before the preparation…how about eating this cake first…?

Hmm…absolutely better.

The next day, I got a call from Percy who asked me to check about his agents in Montreal. And he told me I had the command authority on them if it was necessary, which was not, actually.

Because here's the thing: Hey, I need you to do one thing for me. Just go to my neighbor and tell her to stop making these stupid cakes, don't hurt her of course. Can you guys do that?

Of course they can't. And this was the only thing I cannot deal with, so, what was the point commanding them? For other things, I could do just quicker without them.

Anyway, I went checking about the first batch of agents one by one as Percy had required. On the way back, I bought a butterfly brooch, and pasted it onto Emily's door the next morning.

Then I went out for the second around check. Not surprisingly, when I got back, I saw a new box lying at my door. This time it was um…oh, I didn't know what that was, and she didn't mention it in her note. So, in order to write a "thank you note", I spent a whole day in the cooking books section of the bookstore, and bought a book on butterflies in passing.

Also, in that "thank you note", I said she could call me Owen.

Then in the following notes, she asked me why she always couldn't meet me, and said I was just as mysterious as a shadow.

I replied that I was a landscaper, so my working time totally depended on my customers' will. Sometimes I would even be away for several days. Yeah, that was when I wend back to Division to get some data Percy needed me to upload to that little black box.

She seemed very interested in my job. She asked me if I could help design her garden when she bought her own house.

Before giving her the "yes" answer, I had been hesitating for a long time, and then read through a lot of gardening books. Finally I convinced myself that it was within my ability range, but only took a little time for the huge preparing work.

And soon, she presented a problem for me in her note: Seems not that easy to meet you, but…at least let me have a look at your works, OK? I am so curious.

Uh-oh… I chewed the sandwich she had made and put at my door, with my eyes of agony staring at the note.

What Percy had ordered me to do never set me such an obstacle. As I was chewing the sandwich with my full strength, I even came up with an idea that why not letting her replace Percy's position to run Division.

There was no way I really help someone design a garden, but this problem, it did need to be solved. Because firstly, out of some obvious reasons, I didn't want her to suspect me; and second, it was just something I could never tell what exactly it was, but this something really made me not want to disappoint her.

Then under twice the amount of the Regimen, I believed that I thought of the best solution I could ever think of.

The next steps were, day after day throwing myself in the gardening books section of the bookstore, hanging around parterres, and watching piles of gardening documentary DVDs which always had a pleasantly somnolent effect however much Regimen I took.

In one word, this woman achieved something that even Percy had never achieved: making me play my cover, very earnestly.

And, one day, I believed that I already had some scrappy understandings about gardening design, so I drove to somewhere far away, looking for houses with those gardens that…if I were the designer I would have the same designing ideas or at least…similar, in case she asked later like "why you would design it like that". I could then at least make up a relatively tenable reason.

When I finally found one house with that garden, I, on the off-chance that she might never accidentally pass by this place, took some photos of that house and garden, and pasted them onto her door.

During the ten or twenty hours waiting for her response, I felt like…I was waiting for the result of my cleaner evaluation…oh worse…

And soon, I received my evaluation report that was delivered and left at my door.

I quickly ran it through. Making sure there were no such words like "eww…disappointed", "that garden had been like that before I was born", "Hey, yeah you were cheating but can't you just pick a place a little farther?", I was enormously relieved.

Then I carefully read this note from the beginning, and completely put my heart at rest when I saw her writing "they are beautiful". I gorged myself on the fruit salad that came to me together with my report.

That salad, it tasted like…let's say if Amanda used it as the lure to question Division's prey, then it would definitely at least 3 times faster for her to get what she wanted.


	11. Seems Bright

In the following week, I went back to Division to get data from Percy, and then took up my old job temporally. Percy sent me to Chicago, with the purpose of canceling a rouge leader of a small gang. I guessed that Percy did this because he didn't want me to get rusty from the quiet comfortable life.

Before leaving Montreal, I hesitated for about 2 hours until I finally made up my mind to write a note to Emily, telling her that I would be away for one week, so no need to spend time cooking for me. Then I walked out of my flat.

During that week, I figured out 4 things.

First, I'd never got rusty. One bullet for one target, no waste.

Second, my stomach already refused to digest what I'd called food before, cause I was already used to what Emily cooked for me. And since Emily was not with me, seemed the only solution was…to learn to cook myself from those cookery books, which was much more difficult than to learn to be a cleaner. Why would Percy spend so much time and energy picking candidates for cleaners? Hey, there's a perfect one next door.

Third, the moment I left Montreal, I started to hope this week could pass soon so that I could go back home immediately. I'd never had such a feeling during my previous missions, but I just thought that, this feeling, seemed to be great.

Fourth, I somehow always thought of that best woman, and her fiancé. It seemed that my attitude toward them had been changing, from thumbing the nose at their relationship in the first place, to having a little understanding on her. Such change made me feel uncomfortable without rhyme or reason every time I thought of them.

Then the long week finally ended. On the flight back to Montreal, I, for the first time, checked luggage which had nothing to do with my mission: a big bundle of stuffs that were all had something to do with butterfly. They came from every place selling these stuffs I ever passed by in Chicago.

Sitting in the plane, I couldn't help imagining how Emily would react when seeing them, and then simulated her possible expressions with my own face. My face was like…well luckily on one was sitting beside me, or he would definitely call the pilot.

Maybe I should give her these stuffs directly, face to face. I thought, there were so many after all, they can't be pasted onto the door, and…leaving them on the porch would block the walking way. So…right, just do it.

Later, I figured out that I always could find a bunch of excuses to cover what I really wanted to do or say. It was a really long time later, and I talked about this with that best woman, cause I found we just had the same problem. She said that when facing some certain things, we were both cowards, because we were so afraid of losing what we treasured a lot. It was always hard to gain them, but losing them, was just so easy. And we both had once lost a lot and at the same time caused others huge losses. About losing, no one would understand more than us.

But I felicitated myself on not being a coward twice. And the first time, I was gonna meet it soon.

I rushed straight back home as soon as the plane landed. On the way, I kept imagining how our first real meeting would be. However when I stepped into the porch, I saw her lying on the ground, which was never one of my alternative meeting ways.

It was a working day, so there was no one else in the apartment building.

Somewhat taken aback, I threw the luggage and tumbled my way to her. I held her up, "Emily!" I felt my voice was kind of out of my control. I'd never expected my first time to call her name would be like this.

Realizing holding and calling her didn't work in this situation, I quickly called for an ambulance.

In hospital, I was totally at a loss what to do except for watching doctors checking over her. I was not good at asking question, and had no idea of the "seeing doctor procedure". When I got wounded before, either I handled it myself or I directly went to the doctor in Division. Therefore this time, I almost dashed harum-scarum all over the hospital, and bet I left a deep impression on the majority of people there. Well Percy, guess you definitely need add a new term in the guardian protocol: How to Take a Fainted Nephrotic Patient to Hospital.

In the end, the doctor presented me the medical suggestion, which was to had an overall kidney check, which was gonna require her family's signature. Since I said I could not contact her family, the doctor asked me to sign the paper considering I was her neighbor.

After dialysis, Emily was lying on the bed, looking better. The nurse was working on the intravenous drip.

"How is she?"

"Dr. Douglas is on her checking report. He'll let you know a moment later. Are you…her neighbor?"

"Yeah."

Then I saw the nurse laughing with her head tipping to one side. I didn't really understand what that laugh meant, but I did later.

The doctor soon came in.

"How is she? It's not bad, right?" I almost jumped op from my chair.

"Oh it's hard to say. It's probably familial. Do you know her families?"

"No. I am her neighbor. I just…moved here…"

"Oh OK. She may need to come back here every week to do the dialysis." said the doctor.

"Every time needs signature?" I asked, as I didn't have any common sense about hospital.

The doctor looked at me for a while and then turned to Emily, and he smiled, "I guess so." He tapped on my shoulder.

It kept being like this, that…sometimes I had to admit, Division did give me some useful qualities, say 4-hour sleeping time, which couldn't be better as to looking after a patient.

It was then about 5 o'clock in the morning, Emily woke up. She turned her head and saw me sitting there. I had thought she would be a little bit surprised, but she was actually quiet, and...even smiling. I stared at her with a peaceful, or more properly, glassy expression. Because I'd prepared a basket of words for the explanation when she showed her surprise, but…they all became unnecessary. And I couldn't come up with any other words in reaction to this expression of hers. However I was eager to explain something, so…

"I just came back today from work, and…you were lying on the ground, so I brought you here…The doc said you need to do the dialysis every week, and…seems that they need my signature every time…and…you seem to have what familial disease something…Ah yeah…I'm Owen, I live next door to you…Ah we know each other actually. You made some cakes for me; they are great, really, thanks…Ah, by the way, are you hungry?"

After saying all these stupid words, I suddenly felt, how would I think that I had the right to judge other people, saying they were childish…

She stared at me with her eyes widening, just like the way I was staring at her, but…her eye expression must be much more pleasant than mine.

"A little." Then she answered with a smile.

"Oh, just wait for a minute. I go get some food." I rushed out even without her response, and then realized I'd forgotten to ask what she'd like to eat. I had to go to the supermarket nearby, getting a bunch of things that were similar to what she'd made for me, as I was thinking that she would at least not hate what she'd made herself. And I also bought something like milk in passing.

But it turned out that except the milk, everything I bought for her was actually something she'd banned in her daily life. She told me that she knew about her kidney problem, so had been careful in her diet. What she'd made for me, she seldom ate that; she just like to cook. Before me, she always thought it was too wasted that no one helped her finish those products, so it was actually her that should have thanked me for the "cleaning".

Well, you are welcome. I'm a cleaner; that's just what I do.

I was planning to say that, but I just couldn't say it out. Watching her slowly drinking up the milk, I felt an obtuse pain in my heart.

"Hey…" I raised my head and said.

"Hmm?" She smiled at me.

"I…can I help you do the food cleaning…for a lifetime?"

If there was a ranking list of love confession sentences in the world, I thought what I'd just said could take up the bottom position for a long time, until I came up with a worse one.

She was stunned for a while, then she smiled, "Of course. Oh by the way, are you also willing to keep signing for me?"

"Heh…" I laughed too. She always said when I laughed this way, I was just like a little kid. "Better not so many times. You'll recover soon." I said.

That afternoon, I sent her back to her home. That was the first time I stepped into someone's house not for canceling him, and that was also the first time I cooked not to fill my own stomach.

That night, I watched Emily falling asleep and then sit against the wall. I saw the corners of her mouth seemed turned up, so I began to smile like an idiot. The first time I'd got this idea that I need get away from Division. Along with this idea came a huge unspeakable excitement, and a strong sense of discomposure. Everything that had once taken place kept showing up in my mind, every face of my targets, even lots of names. I suddenly realized, I had never forgotten these things; it's just I'd never had such a chance before to think of them.

Then in the darkness, a name together with its owner's face gradually rose before my eyes, becoming clearer and clearer. Daniel Monroe.

If I hadn't done that, she might have already left Division, and you guys would have been living a life you'd been longing for. If I had met Emily at that time, I could have understood that woman, and I might have figured out a way to let you go.

I smiled bitterly in the darkness. How could I once disdain her plans?

Meanwhile, a feeling of despair caused a chill over me. I had never felt despairing before cause I'd never hoped for something. However when I finally got a hope, I also got an intense doubt. I had been pulling people into despair, so many people, then was I still having the right to hope?

"You are a nobody without Division." I seemed to understand this sentence eventually. It was true, so truly making me shudder.

I was not able to continue thinking, but just wanted to find a warmer place, so I stood up, and stepped closer to Emily. I sat down on the bed beside her, bent down and kissed her forehead. Leaning on the bed, I fell asleep.

Hereafter, my life, in others' eyes was just as common, but to me, became brand new and thrilling.

The first time sitting in Café not for pretending and then following someone in there when he left, but just for spending a pleasant afternoon with a lovely girl, sharing a cup of coffee.

The first time going to cinema not to quietly cancel someone in darkness, but just sitting there, laughing uncontrollably with a childish girl for some stupid plots where I could never find the laugh point lying.

Gradually, I came to know more about her, for example she liked kid, frequently went to schools in community as a volunteer, and had been working hard on courses in order to be a nursery teacher.

For many times, she asked me to go with her to those schools, but I said no. It was because, I felt fearful of kids cause I was worried that kids would feel fearful of me. Kid was a kind of uncontrollable factor, which was something I'd learnt in Division. I'd always kept a certain distance from kids in order to keep my mission within my ability range. Now I didn't know whether I would scare the hell of those kids, or whether they, with their instinct, would find out what I really was. In a word, either of them was something I was supposed to try my best to avoid, and any other situations that would make Emily disappointed with me. And…if my real identity were blown, I guessed, disappointment would be the best reaction I could expect from her.

But soon I realized, if I said no for too many times, she would also feel disappointed, so on one Sunday, I forced myself to go with her. And the night before that, I lost sleep because of nervousness. And that Sunday, when I was standing at the gate of the school, my sweat in my both palms was much enough to refresh that car parked by the roadside, which looked unwashed for a whole year.

That day, it seemed that I wandered into the school gate like a ghost…Then after a long time, I wandered out…with so many kids surrounding me that I could hardly walk normally, and yeah…there was also one sitting on my shoulder.

I didn't understand why the kids would like me. But Emily said it was not surprising, because in many cases I was just like a kid, and kids were just liking someone of the same kind with them.

I raised one kid up high. The sunlight fell on me by edge of his hair, kind of dazzling, but I just kept staring straight at it, which displayed an illusion in front of my eye that I could live in the world, right in the shining sun, like all these kids.

Maybe when living with someone that was childish and was always able to see the bright side of the world for a certain time, I was not likely not to feel the world becoming brighter and brighter, brighter enough for me to stupidly believe that even Percy would still maintain a bottom line as a human.

So I started a plan, a plan that was based on the assumption that Percy was a human.

For this plan, I devoted myself into what Francis had left me, about the Regimen, and started to make effort to decrease my taking dosage. And, for the first time, I, for real, got to study about the gardening stuffs, thinking that after leaving Division I could still survive in the world. I often took every chance to have a little try, like putting some weird flowers in every corners of Emily's flat.

"Now I am really wondering," She looked at me, "those who hired you, how they thought about your design?"

I straightened up after setting those flowers in order, and looked back at Emily, "Beautiful!" I shrugged, "just like the way I think about you." And she would always fling her arms round my neck with full strength when I said such words.

I believed everything could go on as I'd planned. I believed my plan would finally work out. I believed that so much that I always kept my eyes on the butterflies on Emily's window, for a long time, in a trance, but laughing, watching the sunlight coming inside through the colored glass and falling on the floor, then becoming shimmering colorful images.

I was so focused on the beauty of those images that I totally forgot what I was planning was just like the images, which would easily fade away when it turned even a little bit cloudy.

I forgot about this fact and lived in the illusion until three years later…


	12. Hello Nikita

That was a cloudy morning. I walked out to the bank for the box's data update. When I was following the procedure and just about to upload the data, I heard a loud noise coming from the bank hall outside, gun shots, and scream.

Shit… such a luck…

I held the box back on my belt, sneaked out, and followed the instruction of a masked man who looked really amateurish, bending over to the ground. Right in front of me, face to face, was a little scared black girl.

I thought in my mind that I could wait until they've finished this robbery and then I would just leave here quietly. Don't blow myself…just thinking this, I saw one masked man grab that little girl. Cops' here, they were gonna need a hostage.

Damn it, you guys are amateurish not only in techniques, but also basic ethics.

It was not possible for me to just watch them grabbing a little girl, so I stood up.

"Wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait." I said, "Take me." I was adjusting my position against that bastard so that I could beat him down while seize his gun, "I'm a better shield."

I knew he wouldn't buy it. so I reached out my hands and grabbed his gun while he was still surprised by my sudden action. I turned around and shot his two companies. I knew what was waiting for me, and that was the real problem: cops.

I unloaded the bullets from their guns, and rushed out of the bank, leaving that little girl's confusion behind. Cops were outside. I tried to hold my fire, and tried to cause cops just some slight wounds if I had to shoot. It was actually more difficult, so I got shot on my shoulder.

Getting away from the bank, I knew I have to call Percy immediately. And I knew I had again messed up something, very seriously. But…for a second there was a thought in my mind that…maybe it was an opportunity.

What Percy instructed me was the same as I'd expected: protect the box, find cover and go quiet. He would come to Montreal soon. I saw this good news to me, I saw so at least at that moment. I could have him come here without making up any excuses. Seemed it was a good chance to put everything on the table.

Then I went to pick a hiding place, on the way I called Emily.

"Hey, honey."

"Owen! Where are you?" Her shaking voice again caused a pain in my heart.

"Hey, stay at home. Don't go out, don't say anything to them, and don't believe the news, OK?" I felt my voice shaking too. I was so afraid that she would leave me, "Please!"

"Listen, Owen." To my surprise, Emily sounded calm, like she was trying to comfort me, "I won't say anything to anyone. Those news, they mean nothing. I only believe you."

"I love you." It was the only sentence I could say and I kept repeating it, "Wait me at home."

I hung up, got to a discarded school, and got out the bullet, which didn't take me much time. I looked around and saw some butterfly samples on the wall. Realizing that I couldn't call Emily at this moment, I felt nervous. So I looked at the samples and tried to think the bright side of what had just happened.

Soon I heard something from outside, like a car stopping. I didn't actually care about it. I knew Percy would probably send someone here. Didn't matter. I could easily handle that. And soon I heard very slight footsteps getting closer. Heh…a woman?

"Hands. Put'em up slowly." said her.

Sounded familiar…but…not actually match any voice in my memory. Then I did as she said.

"Good place to hide. School gone to hell. Remind you of Division any?" She was stepping closer to me with hands holding a gun.

Heh…her beauty displayed clearer and clearer with her approaching. Stop there, or I might not able to do it.

"Is that what you got from the bank?"

"Percy sent you?" Oh shit I really hated her approaching.

"Hello? Gun. Means question time's for me." She did stop there.

Heh heh…I liked her sense of humor. But what a pity, Percy sent you.

"Though I am here because of Percy." She said and then turned to the box, "That's one of his black boxes, isn't it?

Her distraction was my chance.

"See for yourself." I threw the box to her, and before she caught it, I kicked off her gun with one foot stepping against the corner of a desk. Without a pause I then kicked on her body, meantime grabbed the box back. Just a few of rounds, she was beaten down on the ground. She was really light weighted, which surprised me still though I'd already guessed so from her stature.

Enough huh? I held the box back on my belt. I saved you some strength to go back to Percy, you tell him to come himself…Wait…butterfly?

My reason seemed to be deprived the second I saw the butterfly glass dropping out from her body.

"Where did you get that butterfly?"

She climbed up and said, "Hey, listen…"

How could I still listen? So we then fought again, during which I started to reassess this woman. No way to be a simple woman. She could still get up after taking my heavy beatings; she could even continue fighting against me.

Who are you? With this wonder, I got more worried about Emily's situation. Not long later, I grasped her neck.

"What did you do to her?" I said between my teeth, "She didn't compromise the mission, the box is secure! What did you do with Emily?"

It seemed that I didn't just lose my reason, but also my thinking ability. I myself revealed my relationship with Emily. And I grasped her neck thus she could hardly speak, not to mention answering my question.

_Later, every time I thought of the fight, my face got flushed out of shame and regret. But she didn't actually mind it as I did. She said she totally understood me out there. For the beloved, you could do anything; anything was with reason. And…she said she was actually jealous of Emily. _

_"Still jealous?" Once I asked her. But she just lowered her head and smiled, and then gave a punch on my shoulder._

"I'm... not Division." Grasped by me, she finally managed to gasp out some words.

"Who are you?" I was surprised. She's not Division…then who was she?

Thinking this, my hands got a little bit loose. And she proved to be a real tough woman. Just this second, she hit my belly with her elbow, which forced me to let go of her. Then she quickly raised her arm and hit my jaw, following which was a sharp kick on my shin. I fell onto the ground but quickly climbed up and chased her out with my gun. However she had already gone out of my sight. I knew she must be hiding somewhere near, but I stopped looking for her, instead I picked up my clothes and jumped out of the classroom through a window.

"My position was blown. An operative made a play for the package. It's still secure but you may want to move up your timetable." I called Percy after I left that school.

"Female, 5 foot 6?"

"Who is she?"

"Nikita. A rogue agent."

Finally, Percy told me her name.

"How come I wasn't briefed?" I asked him subconsciously, not really thinking about the possible answer.

"Briefed?" Percy repeated my word shortly, but didn't answer me.

In fact, I wasn't really interested in something like brief, and would just have a quick and routine look at it when I got one. There would be information of Division's latest focus. Name and appearance, that was the only thing I needed to remember. Nothing else to dig.

Percy was supposed to know my style. But as for this Nikita woman, I didn't think he would like to take even a bit risk. He just wanted to keep me away from her and her information.

If only I had some doubts about it at that moment…

"Owen, what did she say to you?" asked Percy.

"Nothing. She wanted to know who I was. I was able to get the drop on her."

"But you let her live." Percy continued my words.

"I had a choice." I would make my words more convincing if I knew how correct my decision was, "Either pursue her or protect the package. Now my mission is…"

"To protect the box. You made the right choice. Location alpha, one hour. I'll meet you there myself." said him, "And if you see Nikita again, you're to terminate on sight."

I hung up the phone, not really taking the terminate thing into the serious consideration, cause there were two things in my mind that were more important, one was to meet Percy and settle down everything, the other was to go back home and take Emily.

However I failed both of them.

I arrived at the location at the fixed time, with my heart full of hope, not for a second stopped to think it would be a trap and I was already surrounded my Division agents.

Then my phone started to ring. It was Emily's number.

"Emily." I picked up.

"We need to talk." It was that woman. I stopped.

"Where's Emily?"

"She's safe." She didn't actually answer my question.

"Where is she?" I then asked again. Usually, twice' asking was my patience limit

"We're at her place. She's fine. But she won't be if you give Percy that box." She was threatening me, and I hated being threatened, by anyone.

"I'm going to kill you." I said after a second's pause. I was going to kill her and I believed it so much that I turned around and left for my flat as quickly as I can.

For safety, before I got back home, I buried the black box underneath the mud by the lake of the park where Emily and I had often gone. If the box were damaged during the fight, things would be ugly.

At the gate of my apartment building, I found my postbox broken. Guessed this was how that woman had found me, cell phone tracing perhaps. I didn't carefully think about the details, like…how she persuaded them to tell her my location without her knowing my password.

_I asked her about this for many times afterwards. In the beginning she just avoided it with a smile. I could saw a slight flush on her face, which was no way to be normal and made me more and more curious. Finally I got another chance to ask. She was then sitting on the bed and reading a book. I was sitting beside her. And I pressed her onto the bed, "threatening" that either she told me how or I kissed her in front of kids when they got back._

_That was how she told me about the process, and…wow…_

_I reacted so to her answer. Her face was still a little bit flushed, and she turned to the other side, avoiding looking at me. I felt a little bit strange, "You should've done like that for many times in your missions…why you still…" Then I stopped because I felt she was getting a little angry. I frowned and asked, "Or…that was the first time…"_

_She nodded._

_"Why?"_

_"Because if it had been someone else that I was looking for, maybe I would've just figured out a new way if I couldn't find him in that way. Only a few more minutes to be taken, but…under that condition, a few more minutes meant a greater possibility Percy had you…"_

_I didn't let her finish her words and didn't keep my promise. I after all kissed her the moment the kids opened the door and entered._

I grabbed out my gun the second I pushed the door. And that woman…oh I just came to know her name, Nikita, if she were not pointing a gun at me, I would probably told her "you have a good name".

"She's safe, Owen." She said without me asking, seemed she was more worried than me.

"Where is she?" I asked.

"I'm not your enemy." She said with a peaceful tone. But the more peaceful she was, the harder for me to control my temper.

"Where is she?" already the fourth time's asking. I'd already worn out my patience, and I could hear blood in my tone.

Then I saw Emily coming from inside. She was fine, which made me a little bit relieved.

"Hey. Come here." I reached out my hand and said to her.

"Wait." Nikita stopped her. Why she always went against me?

"What do you want?" I was kind of mad.

"I want the black box," said her, "and I want to help you escape from Division, with Emily."

Now I got confused, "Why?"

"Why did you save that little girl?" She responded by asking.

I had to admit that she sometimes was really aggressive. Others even had no chance to strike back. But it was weird that she was still popular with people.

"Why did you save that little girl? At the bank? You could have waited out the crisis; figured out an exit. It's what your training tells you to do. But you didn't. You acted differently, because it was the right thing to do."

_Right thing…_

_She kinda liked to say this. And what she had been doing, it was just because that was the right thing to do. Sometimes I really wanted her to give up, especially after I knew what she really wanted. _

_I said to her, "Sometimes…'right' costs multiple times more than 'wrong'…" _

_"Did you calculate the cost when you did those things?" she answered. I had said, her words left people few chance to strike back. But it really didn't affect her being popular._

"Thanks to Emily, you know how that feels."

Heh…right…thanks to Emily, but…not just Emily…

"Leave her out of this." I said. Her being involved was the last thing I wanted to see.

"She's in this, Owen. We all are." she raised her voice, "Do you even know what that black box is?"

I didn't know cause I'd never thought about it. Because instinct told me that knowing it would be nothing better.

"That hard drive contains evidence of every job Division's ever done. All the nation's dirty laundry, and more." She told me the answer without even giving me a choosing opportunity whether to know it or not, "As long as Percy has it, he is untouchable. It's been his leverage against the people who put him in power. That is why I need to destroy it, because it is the right thing to do."

I stared at her. In fact I didn't really agree with her, because I simply believed as long as Emily and I escaped, then what happened to Percy would have nothing to do with me, which proved to be so tragically wrong later.

Emily was kind of in a panic. She came close to me, and I brought her into my arms, so tightly. It had been a tough day to her. She would've never imagined me carrying a gun before.

With Emily in my arms, I noticed Nikita's face getting a little bit complicated to understand. I could hardly guess what was in her mind at that moment, but when I went to her place from London several months later, only to find her with Michael, I suddenly understand her feelings back now.

"Is what she's saying true?" Emily asked me with a shaking voice.

"I don't know." I answered. But actually I kind of believed her, because first her eyes looked genuine, and second she didn't need to tell such a lie, a lie that would make her pay so much for it.

"Because Percy doesn't want you to know. You have only one way to be sure…" she said and put down her gun slowly.

But I was still holding my gun, not because I was that hostile to her, but I actually needed some time to understand this move of hers. What we knew about each other was only a name, and we'd had a fought not long before. But now she just left her life on me. I could hardly understand on what base she trusted me that much.

_Then once I asked her about this when she was cleaning up the kids' bedroom. _

_"I don't know." She shrugged, "Maybe I just wanna gamble for once." she smiled, "Seemed the only thing I could do there." _

_"So…that was the time you've ever won for the most huh?" _

_"Hey!" She stopped to turn to me, with her hands on her waist and head to one side, "I've been trapped in this gamble since I put up stakes. Now you're asking me such a question?" _

_I laughed, "Well, no way out, so just keep losing."_

"Where's the black box?" she asked.

"I buried it."

"Like in the ground?" Her expression made me feel that I had just done some stupid things, "Where?"

"You first." Then I did do some stupid things, by asking her two questions that actually did not fit in this situation, "How'd you escape Division? How'd you remove your tracker?"

"I will tell you. Not now. We don't have..." Her words were interrupted by the sharp, snapping sound of glass…and something else…someone else, which I found until I looked back from the glass.

"Owen…" That was the last time Emily called my name. Then she just slipped down from my arms, onto the ground.

The following happenings that day only left me a faint memory. What I only knew was I completely could not accept the fact that Emily was gone. I threw myself onto the ground, trying to pull back Emily, who was not reacting even a bit. Hey. Honey look at me. Look at me. Emily, we gotta go. Come on…

"She's gone, Owen, we gotta go." I heard Nikita shouting at me, which brought me back to reality. But I would never do as she said. I stood up and raised my gun, and then shot to outside crazily. Division men soon rushed into the flat.

"Owen! Go!" She shouted with her full strength, but all in vain. Emily was here, so I was going nowhere else.

I started to fight against people rushing to me.

"Owen! No!"

I didn't think even a little bit for Nikita. I didn't think about what would be brought to her just because of my reckless action. But she didn't blame me.

_"If I were you, I would probably do the same thing." That was her answer._

Realizing I was totally out of mind and would not go with her, Nikita ran away. The wound on my shoulder weakened my strength. I was soon pressed by them. And I actually didn't want fight anymore, but only wanted to take another look at Emily. Then after a heavy hit on my head, I passed out.


	13. Icy Ocean

**Thanks for all your reviews, and I'm glad you guys like the story. **

**The story in Chinese version actually evolves much further than this English version. I know how it goes and I want you to see it as early too, so I'll just keep working on it. XOXO.**

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><p>A sharp pain on my head aroused me from the coma. I found myself tied on a chair, with Percy standing in front of me, and Roan. Cleaners seldom knew each other, but we all knew Roan.<p>

"Where is it, Owen?" Percy asked me.

And Roan punched me on my face. Percy would probably intend to torture me with the pain Roan's fist brought, but actually I didn't feel the pain reached that degree. It was because, usually when there was not just one pain all over your body, you could probably only feel the most unbearable one, which for me at this moment, was the one in my heart. As for the one on my head, it was just nothing.

"You took something that was mine; something I entrusted you with. And I want it back."

And another punch. Hey dude, it hurts right? Your fist.

"You know how this is going to turn out." Percy approached me. If I were not tied up, I was so sure that I would beat his head into smash. "Eventually your brain will cease to be able to distinguish between reality and hallucination, and you will cough up the location." said him.

Heh…how naive you are, Percy. Yeah, my brain is kind of in a mess now, but what makes you think I will not firstly dump the most useless thing, which is exactly about your little black box? Because I'm just very certain that if Roan keeps beating me like this, the only thing left in my brain, will be a name that means nothing to you.

"It's inevitable." Percy was apparently not planning to end his naive extrapolation, "I'm just curious, what did she tell you? That Division is an evil empire, and I'm the big bad wolf?"

Heh…that's actually something no need to be told by her.

I got so sick of Percy's nonsense, so I planned to save both our time, and tell him the only thing I could recall now.

"She had a problem with her kidneys. One day she collapsed in the hallway. So I picked her up and brought her to dialysis. And the next week and the week after. Her name was Emily…Robinson…" I looked up at Percy, "You took something of mine, too."

And you're gonna pay for it, with your life…though your life is just a shit…

Then I got an expected punch from Roan, who, as far as I was concerned, was just so so. Therefore I was waiting for a timing. I couldn't take down both of them at one time, but as long as one left, then there would be my chance.

Just at that moment, Percy's phone got ringing.

"Nikita…"

He stepped some distance away, and my ear was buzzing, so I couldn't hear him clearly. But I heard the name. Nikita.

"Your ears must have been burning. Just talking about you with your boyfriend here"

Boyfriend?

I wanted to negate this title on me, but I could never expect, only a period later, this title would be something that was so high up there for me to reach, and something I would like to spend so much time and energy to finally gain again.

Percy was stepping farther. I could not hear him anymore. But suddenly he turned back to me, with a clear rage in his eyes, said, "Tell me you weren't stupid enough to give the box to Nikita. You didn't give it to her, did you? Did you?"

I had no idea what Nikita had said to him, and had no idea why Percy had asked me this, so after a second, I answered him, "Is that a bad thing?"

The expression on Percy's face let me believe I'd just given him the right answer, right to Nikita, of course. Well great, that's exactly the same effect I've been expecting. Hey, Nikita, toast, to our first cooperation.

There seemed to be a certain tacit mutual understanding between me and Nikita. Somehow I cannot explain it, nor can she.

"Shoot him." Percy said to Roan.

I'd expected that. I was already a trash to Percy, and Percy would never just dump a trash; he degradated it, promptly, completely.

But Percy quickly took back his words. I didn't know what it was in the phone that made him do it.

"…He's a blip. A rounding error. I could kill 'em and no one would notice." said Percy.

That's correct. Emily's gone; no one would ever notice… Oh, Nikita might get angry hearing me saying this.

Percy hung up the phone. His face somehow cheered me up. People could seldom make him look like this, so I raised my head, wanting to watch such a face for a longer time.

Nothing happened in the following, so I started to feel tired, and then felt asleep. I hoped I was lucky enough to dream of Emily.

I didn't know how much time had passed before Roan poured a bucket of icy water over me. I should thank him, making my brain get sober again.

Then there came some sound upstairs. Roan and Percy noticed it too.

"She's here." said Percy.

Nikita?

"We need to get you off-site, now. I will take care of other things down here." Roan said.

Then I heard Percy running upstairs.

That was the good timing…

I was waiting Roan to step near me, and roughly jumped up together with the chair, turned around, and cracked the chair against Roan. After that, I quickly adjusted myself into the fighting condition. I had to say fighting with Roan was quite cool. I hadn't fought like that for a really long time.

After a few rounds, I threw him down the stairs. Then I grabbed a gun, and rushed up to the board. Great, I intercepted Percy at the right time, in the right place.

"Drop the weapon." I said to Percy, holding my gun.

He dropped his gun as I said, and turned around with a smile.

"Was it worth it?" I'd said that I would throw this sentence back to him. But weird I wasn't inspired with something by this sentence.

Percy said nothing but only shrugged his shoulder.

When I was about to pull the trigger, I heard something behind me. "No! Drop the gun, Owen."

I guessed she was also pointing a gun at me.

Why the hell you are here again? You showed up, then Emily's gone. Now I wanna kill this son of a bitch, you stop me again. Why…?

Such thoughts haunted in my mind. I hated this woman. All I wanted to do is to kill her right after I killed Percy.

"I want him dead just as much as you do." She kept talking like she was never gonna stop.

"Just let me do this."

"I can't. You kill him now, those black boxes get out to the world. Innocent people will be hurt."

"Innocent people like Emily?" I asked.

Honestly, I was not as responsible and righteous as she was, not then, not later. I did these things just for a specific goal, which was about Emily then, and Nikita later.

"Yes, like Emily." She sounded like she finally found a breakthrough point, "She told me about you. How you cared for her…"

Percy acted like he was going to throw up, "Ew…"

"Shut up." Nikita said this for me.

"You cared about someone, Owen. Remember that. I will help you get through this."

Heh…yeah you did help me get through this finally, in a way we could never think of in the first place.

"We will destroy the black boxes, and then we'll kill this smug son of a bitch." said her, "Do this now, people will die."

But not even a part of me wanted to stop. The chance here was so good; I couldn't just let it go, especially for Emily. As for other things, they were actually none of my business.

"There's just one problem. I don't care." I turned around to Nikita. Seemed I had to take her down before I put a bullet in Percy's head. I hit her wrist, making her gun point to the side, and tried to throw her onto the ground. But Percy's bullet held me back.

I felt Nikita pulling my arm and dragging me to the side of the ship, and then we jumped down to the sea. The water was freezing; I barely had any thinking ability, but just swam towards her. I didn't know how long I'd been swimming, but before I lost my consciousness, I seemed to hear her calling my name…

And when I woke up again, it was already after two days.

Before I woke up, everything happening between Emily and me in the past three years had kept flashing in my mind. It was like, when she'd just left me, I hadn't actually been prepared to accept this fact, thus not actually giving a certain level of reaction; but two days had passed, I…I didn't know how to digest the fact that Emily was truly gone…I had never experienced the suffering to this degree…

Either the sunlight or the pain all over my body forced me to open my eyes, I didn't know. But I opened my eyes, only to find I was lying on a narrow bed, handcuffed to the headboard. Nikita was sitting there in front of the computer.

"Glad to see you're awake, Owen." she said, "Don't get up too fast. You got shot, remember?"

"Where am I?"

"We're at my safe house." She stood up and walked to me with a little box, the sound in which told me there was probably a bullet. "I took out Percy's bullet. Hope you don't mind. I also removed your tracking implant. Division can't find you here."

She was standing by the bed. Great, that was the perfect distance to me.

"You lost a lot of blood…"

I didn't let her finish the words, and seized her wrist, pulled her down onto the bed, then pressed her neck with my leg. It seemed to be the first time I held her hand.

"Where's the key? Where's the key?" I shouted. And I made the same mistake as before. I was pressing her neck, no way for her to speak. And then a bigger followed. I added more force and pressed her neck even harder. Her hand was searching around her waist, and then pulled out a dart-like stuff and thrust it into my leg.

I was forced to raise my leg and let go of her. She took the chance and rushed to her weapon cases. And then I did the most stupid thing ever—drew out the dart and threw it to her. And I missed it…my luckiest miss ever…

_Until long after we were together, I would still feel a sort of fear when I thought of that throw. I would hold her hand tightly all of a sudden, or drag her into my arms. She seemed to be used to my sudden actions like this. "Emily was right." she said, "You are sometimes just a kid."_

"Stop it." she lifted a gun and pointed at me.

"Do it!" I screamed at her. Nothing in this world had any meaning for me to live now.

"Do you know how hard it is to have a conversation with you?" she was adjusting her breath.

Well, I knew it was hard to have a conversation with me. I seldom accepted others' advice, and her? Worse. But soon I found a good solution: her rules.

The wound on my leg started to hurt severely. Aww, her tool was good huh…

She walked to the table, picked up some gauze and threw it to me, saying, "Now, I'm gonna throw you this bottle of antiseptic, and you're not gonna do anything stupid like try to drink it or blind me, right?"

I didn't respond, but she still threw the bottle to me.

"I don't know how else to convince you to trust me." she said.

Actually it was not that I didn't trust her. It was just I didn't want to face everything that had happened. "Why don't you just let me go?" I said in a fit of pique.

"So you could try to kill me again?"

"Yeah." I answered directly.

_She once said my being direct made her feel easy. And I said, "It is because you like to hide your real feelings so much that people either are really fooled by you or they just don't want to expose you. But you do want to be exposed, right? You are just scared that truth would push them away from you. But you know what, they are not gonna leave you, nor am I."_

_She leaned her head on my shoulder. I felt there was some liquid streaming down. Oh…was I being direct again?_

"You think I'm responsible for Emily's death?" she asked me.

"Before you showed up, we were safe." I knew I was kind of arbitrary.

"I showed up because you lost control of your mission." she increased her speaking speed. Hard to have a conversation with me huh?

"I had a plan," I shouted at her, never expecting this would be a frequently-said sentence between us later, "a plan to make it right."

"Oh, yeah? What plan was that?" She put down her gun, maybe because she thought I was too naive to be pointed at by a gun, "To return Percy's black box, shake his hand, go and grab your girlfriend?" She accurately knocked the bottom out of my plan, "He would have killed you on sight."

She turned around to get something, and said meantime, "And then he would have sent a cleaner to erase Emily, because she's the reason you lost sight of your priorities in the first place."

I wanted to say something, but I couldn't chop in, and…till now I still can't chop in when she is speaking.

"That's what Percy does, Owen. He destroys the thing you love, so he can get the thing he wants."

"What do you want?" I lowered my head and asked her, "Same thing he does? Find out where I hid the black box? Is that what you want?"

"I do." she said and held her gun again. That was a tranquilizer gun. I could tell that. But I still wanted to say something, so I wanted to say "wait a minute" but I failed. She said, "We'll deal with that later," and she gave me a shot, "right after I patch you up. Again."

Before I passed out, I saw her turning around, looking liked she didn't have any other choice.


	14. Floating Glory

**Sorry for the late~ Kinda busy these days. Nikita's come into Owen's life already, and I'm kind of excited about that. What about you?**

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><p>Waking up again, I was surprised at my status—<p>

"I'm naked…"

Actually I didn't react violently, cause according to my understanding of this woman during the past several hours, this was not something so strange. But I still wanted to confirm this.

"And observant." answered her, sitting on the stairs with her focus on her phone.

I realized I could do nothing as I was now like this, and I did calm down a lot, and…one more important point, I was hungry, for real…

"You got anything to eat?" so I asked.

She stood up and said, "Well, I don't have any raw meat to throw at you, but I do make a mean veggie shake." And she walked to the table.

"You stitch up the wound?" I unfolded the bedclothes to check my leg wound. It was well dealt with, much better than my technique.

"Standard field dressing." She passed on a glass of veggie shake to me, "The real damage won't begin to heal for at least a year. Three years out, you'll still feel her." She was leaning against her dresser, with an expression looking like she was thinking of someone.

Three years…

I seemed to recall something…

I gulped down the veggie shake. It was not bad, maybe as good as what Emily had made. Heh… heartache again…

I looked at her. I was trying to search for something in my memory just because of what she'd said. I didn't know what I was searching, but there was just a strong force driving me to do it.

"You know, you and I have more in common than you think, Owen." She looked at me too. But it was somehow hard for me to believe her words, so I turned aside.

"Division took everything from me, too." said her, frowning, "That's why I walked, or ran."

And I seemed to remember something else…

"When?" I asked.

"Three years ago." she said, "I made the same mistake you did. Best mistake of my life." A slight smile showed up on her face. That was the first time I'd seen her smile. A sort of smile that…was of certain magic, attracting my eyes to stay on it, for a longer time. That is why it now has been remaining to be my daily job, to make more and more chances for such a smile to display on her face.

Three years… I heard it again, so began my search again… A smiling face loomed out of my head…

"Who was he?" I asked her. I knew what I was searching would get clearer with her answer.

"He was a web designer." She smiled again. And I was sure for more that there was magic in that smile.

Web designer…right, the face did get clearer…

"He was funny."

…I'd better you not see her. I would be worried…

"Goofy, almost."

…You know…I just can't believe that I got this big luck…

"And when he smiled, he was real... So really hurt."

Smile as bright as the sunshine…lake in the Adirondacks…Daniel Monroe…

"His name was Daniel Monroe."

That moment, my head was just like…going to blow up. Images kept flashing, and a sentence: she's the best. Finally, I met her.

And you're alive! I didn't know why but just got excited when I realized she was still alive in the world, though my heart was still full of sorrow with Emily's death, though I knew I was gonna tell her the truth very soon.

"I was deep undercover when we met." She kept talking, but I was already thinking how to tell her what had really happened…

"We started to make plans. Exfiltrate to South America...live on a beach, start a family."

_Yeah, she liked the sea, beyond imagination. She once said the sunlight by the sea made her comfortable. I knew what she meant. After all, the sunlight thing seemed to be a sort of luxury in her previous life. I also enjoyed the sunlight there in the first place, but soon the over-heated sun caused me some trouble. Nikita never allowed me to wear less in front of kids, saying my tattoos would scare them. She was over worried actually. The 6-year-old Daniel always tried every way to satirize me having a terrible level of aesthetic perception, and the 3-year-old Emily could never stop giggling. Anyway I just did as she said. Her operation, her rules, always._

She stopped there. What followed was something she didn't want to recollect.

"What happened?" I asked her as if I didn't know…

"Daniel and I had his parents' lake house to ourselves for the weekend. I drove up there to meet him in the Adirondacks…"

I moved my eyes away, and was not actually listening to her, because I knew it; I had been in it…I couldn't be clearer about "what happened".

"If I can get my hands on that black box you were protecting, I'm one step closer to bringing down Percy," she stared at me, "and then what he did to Daniel and to Emily, He won't be able to do to anyone else."

I didn't respond to her, because I didn't really know what to say. My brain was just like glue; I was supposed to tell her the truth immediately, which was something I'd been planning to do. I was ready to die in her hand; it was just the way it worked, as my life had been saved by her. However I…somehow…just wanted to spend some more time together with her…

She came to replace new gauze for me, during which I was trying not to look at her. I was not thinking much; it was just…meeting her in this way, was a complete surprise to me, especially after such a long time. I had to say that three years ago her death had frustrated me a lot. I'd wrongly believed that I could succeed nothing except to cancel people. And then Emily's death had pushed me into such frustration to the deepest. But Nikita seemed to pull me back a little.

She took a look at the clock, and walked to her computer. My instinct told me she was contacting someone. Oh…my files, only Percy had them, but she knew about me, then she might…

"That's the second time I've seen you on that computer. Who are you in contact with?" I asked this because I wanted to know more about her so that I could tell her all the information that was useful to her, before I did my confession.

"I was just searching for black box locations." She minimized the chat window and turned to me, "You can find anything on the internet, you know."

"Even if I was to tell you where it was buried, there are 6 more hard drives secured by guardians just like me." I said. According to my understanding to her at this moment, she almost worked alone. The more specific I told her about the danger of the situation out there, the better she would realize that she could never do it by herself. I knew what she'd got; she couldn't fight over me one to one, a rough estimate, same to other guardians. If she kept doing like this, sooner or later she died. And I wanted her to live, wanted even stronger than three years ago.

"That's ok. I've got a plan." She seemed to be relaxed, standing up to get a chair, and then she sit down beside the bed.

"Oh yeah?" I looked at her, tipping my head. She smiled, then somehow I smiled as well.

"Yeah. Phase one, find them…"

Hmm, seemed OK…

"Phase two, kick their ass…"

Heh…thought so…I turned aside. Sometimes her confidence or…minor conceit really made me headache. I knew she knew things were never gonna be that easy, and she saying this just to tell people she'd already got a plan, and was ready to take responsiblility for that herself.

"Phase three, veggie shakes." And she straightened up, "Seems to be working with you."

"Yeah…" I admitted. It worked with me, but not every guardian had once fallen in love with someone outside Division, "well, it won't work with the others." And seemed I didn't want it to work with others. The veggie shake, I didn't want them to ever drink it.

"Who are the other guardians?" she asked, face getting serious. Good, then I could tell her what I was intending to say.

"I don't know who they are. I don't know what cities they're in. All I know is Percy handpicked each one of us." I said this just to let her know how terrifying this group was.

"Why'd he pick you?" asked her.

"I was a cleaner." I said, and felt kind of relaxed after saying this out, cause this was the part I wanted her to know. "I was his favorite cleaner…"

I could see disgust and disdain in her eyes. I knew how she felt, and I was not proud for what I was either. I just wanted to tell her the truth, which might help, as I was the toughest one, and now she'd already got me, so maybe she was able to deal with others. And…Percy had said, she was the best in Division.

It's just, I didn't want her to do it alone.

"No questions. Got the job done. I was able to stay detached." I kept saying.

"Till you met Emily." She chopped in.

I didn't answer. It did is because of Emily but…I didn't think it was the good timing to talk about her…

"When Percy moved me to Montreal to guard the box, he told me it was the most important assignment of all. What he didn't tell me is how much downtime would be involved."

She was listening to me very carefully. In fact I had planned to tell her something about guardian, but the topic was somehow shifted…and I kind of wanted to talk to her about this. I seldom talked with people, less about the truth, even with Emily. When we'd been together, she'd been talking for most of the time, cause there had been few thing about me I could tell her.

"Kind of just crept up on me how much I cared about her." I continued, "And then it hit me. I started to see the people that I killed, their faces." When I was saying this, Daniel's face was almost in front of my eyes, as near as Nikita was to me. If it hadn't been me, they could have been sitting there together, just like my illusion. I moved my face away and stared at the extremely high ceiling.

"I started to see them as somebody's brother or somebody's kid…" I looked at her again and said, "And now I know how it feels to love someone and have them taken away from you…"

Actually I wanted to say that I finally got to know how you'd felt back then. And I was so sorry for my being naive and arrogant…

"You never know how much you miss them till they're gone." Until these words came out of my mouth, I was still not willing to accept the fact that Emily was gone. It was just like, I went back to Montreal and those butterflies were still waiting for me on her window; I needed to take Emily to hospital for rechecking, so I was gonna hurry…

I really was not a talker, but that day, to Nikita, I seemed to talk as much as a whole month's quota.

Nikita didn't take up my word anymore, but just kept listening to me. I knew she understood me, so there was no need for any extra words.

Through the huge windows of her place, I could see the sun going down bit by bit. Already evening?

Her place was kind of dim, which made me insensible to the time changing. And there were only a few lights, which to such a big house were apparently not enough.

It was getting dark quite quickly. Nikita replaced another gauze for me, and then sat beside the bed. "This'll take the edge off the pain. Let me know if the room starts spinning." she said, injecting me some analgesic through my arm, "Too much, and your system won't be able to handle it."

Heh…nothing unable to handle actually. The Regimen also strength my taking capacity to other drugs.

Nikita focused on my arm so that I could remain my eyes on her with this chance.

It's getting almost completely dark…time to say something…

"Thompson park... Under the oak tree by the bridge," I said, and saw her stop to look at me. But I still looked at her. Didn't matter…she's going to terminate this anyway. And I continued, "that's where I buried the drive."

Telling her the most important thing, I still thought for a while, making sure there was no other valuable information forgotten.

"Whoa." She stood up, "That veggie shake worked better than I thought."

Yeah, and you'll find later that it has much stronger power; it works not just on me, but also the other two little "badasses".

"It's like you said." My eyes were still kept on her face, "Havin' the black box'll help you take down Percy. You should go get it."

"No." She sat down again and disinfected my wound, "I'm gonna stay here till you're better, and then we're gonna go and get it together."

"I'd like that. I would."

I'd like that. I would…

"I don't think it was meant to be." I said. You don't go get it yourself, then I have to tell you the truth.

"This is your fight, too, you know?" She looked at me seriously.

Of course I knew. And if I could, I wanted it to remain my own fight.

"I wasn't just any cleaner, Nikita. I was Division's cleaner, in-house."

She seemed to get a little bit confused. But I guessed, this confused expression would soon turn to grief or rage…

"Nikita, I was a reaper."

"Reaper?" she murmured. She couldn't be likely to know this title; only reapers themselves knew it.

"I canceled other agents…"

Then she seemed to realize something. She started to shake her head, and her eyes getting wet…

"People from their old lives…"

I knew she was about to cry out. She was a smart woman. She was supposed to understand everything as I'd already got to this point.

"People they had confided in about Division…"

She was shaking head more violently. I knew she must cry out if she uttered any word. I was kind of relieved see her shaking head, cause I guessed she didn't believe that I'd ever done such things… That was enough for me…

"People they had fallen in love with…"

She totally understood it. I saw her trying her best not to let the tears out.

"How?" She asked this almost with all of her strength. It was like she's holding the last straw, hoping that I hadn't done that. But in fact, if there had to be someone to do this, I felt kind of "lucky" getting this job.

"It was quick." I answered, breaking her fragile hope.

"No." She finally burst in to tears, and she stood up, stepped away from me. She stopped in front of the dresser, with one hand leaning on it and the other bunched into a fist, bit by her.

If you only saw this Nikita, you could never imagine just three days earlier this Nikita had been another Nikita who had given a tremendous threat to Percy.

Oh right…her voice finally matched the one in my memory. Three years ago, on the phone, the voice I'd heard, that was just like this, a voice that had nothing to do with "Division's best agent".

I was not able to see her like this, so I turned my head aside, and speeded up my speaking, wanting this "talk" to end as quickly as possible, "You know, they never told me your name, but from how you describe how you found Daniel, I remember that place in the Adirondacks." Or maybe I never forgot that place. I looked at her and said, "I knew it was a matter of time before I had to tell you."

Suddenly she seemed to think of something and turned to me, asking, "Did Michael know?"

Michael? Why that guy? I believed this Michael guy must mean something in her heart, but I didn't plan to dig it out. I didn't like that guy, so I seemed not to hope he meant anything.

"Percy gave me my orders." I answered. Percy's order to reapers would never be told to others.

She stared at me, eyes still full of tears, yet still beautiful. Well I'd said everything I needed to say, so my remaining life span would probably be up to how fast she walked to her weapon case from her dresser.

However she didn't move, but just kept staring at me…

She was like…struggling…I didn't know what she was struggling for though…Go, the gun is right beside you. Why hesitate?

Just this moment, her phone began to ring. She didn't pick it up immediately, but seemed to be adjusting her emotion.

And then she picked up the phone, "Hello…" That voice, it belonged to the "Division's best agent".

I didn't hear her following words, but when she hung up and walked back, she still stared at me with a struggling anger in her eyes.

It's gonna end huh?

But she then wasn't heading to her weapon case, but to her clothes hanger.

What are you doing?

She took off her vest…

Wow…

And jeans off…

I didn't think it suitable for me to keep watching any longer, in case I… Oh sorry Emily…

Soon Nikita got dressed like she was about to go out. And she finally walked to her weapon case, picked a gun, and got it loaded.

Ready?

She raised her head and looked at me.

"Do it." I said, "That's why I told you where I hid the box. You don't need me anymore. This is the way it's supposed to end."

Her face told me that part of her agreed with my suggestion. It was just, she didn't really listen to that part.

_However when she was faced with a messed-up bedroom for which I and the other two "badasses" should be responsible, she would always said, grinding her teeth, "I should've listened to you!"_

She kind of ignored me, and walked directly outside.

I stretched my neck, my eyes sending her all the way out of the door.

Where are you going?

You wanna me to help look after your house? And deal with me when you get back?

Hey…you should at least loosen up the handcuffs, or how am I able to sign for your parcel post? Speaking of which, what's your family name…?

_It was until a long time later that I got to know she herself actually had no idea her family name. She'd attempted to find it out but all failed. While mentioning this, her expression was…I didn't know how to say it with words but, I knew that was the last expression that I ever wanted to show up on her face._

_"Hey…" not long after that, I screwed my courage up and wanted to have a talk with her, "I don't really understand how much a family name means to you…" I touched my hair, rubbed my nose, and scratched my jaw…anyway I did everything I could to ease my nervousness. But none of them really worked. When I spoke out the following sentence, my voice was still kind of quivering, "but…if you really need one…can you…use mine?"_

_She stared at me, her eyes widening a lot…_

_Then I knew if there was a ranking list of proposal words, mine again would take up the bottom space without any doubt. _

_And she jumped onto me, holding me as tightly as she was releasing all her strength._

_And I knew there was no other chance for me to come up with some proposal words even worse._

After she left, I was lying on the bed, trying to figure out what she was up to.

I didn't think she would kill me, which was only according to my instinct as I couldn't really guess what's in her mind. There seemed to be a convention among agents that for a mission, if one didn't complete it in the very beginning, he would probably not complete it anymore. She could've killed me; there was enough time for her to do it. But she didn't.

Then what's next?

I thought the biggest possibility was that she came back, still dealt with my wound, and waited for me to recover, during which she would be supposed to keep that struggling angry face. And when I got totally back to health, she would go to Montreal together with me and get that black box. Oh wait…her idea was to destroy the box right there.

And then she was going to drop me there in the park, and alone went for other guardians. We two no contact anymore, she solo…

Then I realized it was no way to be a good proceeding mode, so I decided to replace it with another one…premise was I got out from this handcuffs.

I looked around, and the injector on the table where she put all medicines caught my attention. I stretched out my leg and reached the injector with my toes. With the help of the injector, I loosened up the handcuffs easily. I rubbed my wrists, and stood up to hang around inside the house. It was lucky for me to find in a case some clothes I could wear. She had such things? Wait…clothes looked new…she'd bought them for me? When I was in the coma? Right…my old ones was supposed to be trash already.

I put on the clothes. They fit me so well that someone like me who seldom looked at myself in the mirror couldn't help going to in front of the mirror and standing there for a while. Not bad. I smiled, and had a smell of the collar. It was kind of like the smell of her, maybe was left on the clothes when she'd been picking them.

Then I sat on the bed for a while, trying to perfect the plan I'd just made. I went back to get the box and the memory stick which was for data uploading. And I picked out something to upload to the internet so that Percy would think something was wrong, a leak or something of the system. Then he would call for the engineer. Nikita seemed to have someone inside Division. In that way we could fix the positions of the rest six black boxes. And…I went for them.

That's it! Use her asset once, and no danger to Nikita.

Then it would be my job to cover the operation "find guardians & destroy black boxes". I did hesitate for whether to do it with her, as it was her plan after all, but…just for these clothes, I completely dismissed this idea.

"I'll carry out your plan. You are not supposed to live like this." I started to remain this idea since I put on the clothes.

I stood up, walked to her case, and left a note to her: I have to do this on my own. I'm sorry…

That was the first time I apologized to her, but only later I got to know her reaction to this apology was to smash that paper.

Just in case, I then grabbed a gun from her weapon case. Standing there for a while, I turned around and walked out.


	15. Upload

I took the earliest flight to Montreal, and arrived at that park as quickly. Then I dug out the black box. Great, everything was still there.

With the box and the memory stick, I left the park and returned to my flat. The cops were already gone; Percy should've called some cleaner to have this thing settled down. Through the window of Emily's flat, it was all darkness inside. Few days before, at this time, Emily would always keep the lights on.

Emily's body had apparently been dealt with by the cleaner; I knew that procedure, which lit up towering rage from the sole of my feet. Percy, we'll see!

I came into my flat. Not surprisingly, it was empty. Percy had sent his men to ransack this house. Little bit worried, I rushed to the back room and lifted a board on the floor under which I had stored my Regimen. I breathed a sigh of relief as I saw it was still there. And then I prized off a moving board on the wall with the gunstock. I'd hid my money in there which I'd planned for…well, forget it…

I packed all these things and left my flat. I knew I couldn't stay here any longer, but still quietly got into Emily's flat. This place had been wiped out with disinfectant, but it couldn't cover up the smell and evidence that Emily had once lived here.

I leaned my head against the door, in my mind was playing everything that had once happened here, me and Emily. And then I smiled.

Right, this was not the place for unhappiness, so I thought I should leave a smiling face here before I went away. I walked to the window, got a piece of butterfly glass and put in into the front pocket of my jacket.

Then, just like every time I'd done before I'd left for some work, I said quietly, "Honey, the medicine is in the second drawer; don't forget to take it…"

I went out of the house and stood on the road outside. After a last look at this flat, I left there.

In the nearby, I found a motel for a short stay. Then I turned on the computer, inserted the memory stick, and started to read through the files in it so that I could pick a suitable one to upload.

I figured, the operation recorded in that file shouldn't be too close in location, otherwise Percy would've probably suppressed it already before I made the contact with Nikita. And it'd better be something that had happened to someone with certain fame, which would help catch people's eyes. And I knew for sure there was another department or organization or something like that as a superior of Percy, so the victim, he'd better not have anything to do with that department or whatever either, at least seemingly. Because if they were on the same boat, the superior would probably do everything they could to prevent the leak-out from spreading.

Another point was, the fewer people involved in that operation, the fuzzier information included in the audio-recording, the better the whole thing would be. I couldn't expose Division in the sun for now, because if that way, the situation Percy faced then could never be fixed by any engineer guy, and Division would get into the all-out alert which would set even more obstacles in the way finding the black boxes. I was not able to deal with that situation, so I couldn't let that even happen.

With all these conditions, I finally targeted a video material in that memory stick after one month. That was the most suitable one, a murder in Chile.

I thought I'd taken everything into consideration, and believed everything would just go faultless, except that I'd missed one important factor after all, one factor that was told by Nikita, of course, after I met her.

The factor was called collateral effect.

Since for a long time I'd just been used to working alone and quickly forgetting the job after it, I completely had no such a concept about collateral effect.

_I only got to learn about it afterwards, cultivated by Nikita. Oh…maybe not just Nikita._

_One night, after I sat still for one and a half hours just for Daniel's drawing homework, I said to him, "Hey kid, why don't you just scrawl something?" Daniel totally carried forward his mother's good quality: earnestness. He pointed my shoulder and said, "Daddy, I would've finished it if not for that stuff." _

_Then I lowered my head down, looked at my over-complicated dragon tattoo, and shut my mouth reluctantly. Should've picked a simple image if I'd known this like today…_

_"Now you know about the collateral effect?" Nikita was drinking a glass of juice in the sofa, never missing a chance to gloat and tease me._

Getting ready with all luggages I needed to bring with me, I leaned my hands on the table, took a deep breath, and clicked "upload".

Soon the computer showed a signal that uploading was competed. I quickly shut it down and left the motel.

As for the aftermath of the video I'd just uploaded, I didn't really need to know, as I could totally imagine it. And Percy would've called back his engineer after only a few hours, so I had to find Nikita before that.

I got to her place as fast as I could and I ran straight into her house, I didn't mean to do that though. There was no door there, not to mention a lock. Still, I hid behind the wall before I entered her house. I was not sure whether her wanting-to-kill-me part had already won over the rest just because of my leaving without saying a goodbye. So I first popped out my head to take a look inside, but only to find nobody there.

Where's she…?

"Nikita…" I walked around inside her house and was sure she's not at home. Then I started to rummage about among her stuffs, discourteously, trying to find out some leads telling me where she'd been. And after a rough rummage, the only thing I noticed was the disappearance of her swimming suit. Not likely she would go on a mission in the swimming suit or she'd damaged it, so I figured the only possibility was, she was swimming somewhere. I stood up, turned on her computer and searched online for all swimming pools nearby. I noted down each address, and set out to check them one by one. With 4 swimming pools checked and excluded, I got her.

There was only one person swimming there. Undoubtedly, it was her. No one else would ever swim here in 3 a.m.

Soon her head popped out from the water, and she stopped swimming to rest by the pool side. Her side face made me 100% sure it was Nikita.

Woo…seemed she'd had an easy month. Thinking of this, I felt a sort of relief.

_Only later I got to know she'd actually had quite a tough time, a big shock to her, and she threw part of her emotion out to me. She apologized after we were together, but I didn't think she needed to. "I'm your boyfriend you know. That's kind of my job." I said to her. "But you weren't then." "Eh…you can treat it as my probation."_

I watched her going into the changing room, considering how I was supposed to approach her.

Knocking on the door and saying "Hey Nikita, this is Owen, yeah, the bastard that killed your fiancé."?

Well, I didn't think that would achieve any good effect…Whatever…I was clear about my horrible expressing ability, so maybe I should just make it straight. Open the door, one step to her front, with a perfect distance for her to throw a punch rather than to shoot a bullet on me.

I did this, and yeah, she didn't shoot me; she twisted the towel with which she'd been wiping her hair, and gave me a tremendous hit.

There was water in that towel, together with her full force, so the hit on me was heavy enough to cause my automatic self-defense. But luckily, I held back my counterattack.

She seemed not planning to stop hitting as her force didn't even dwindle. I gradually got used to this force, so I stopped defending myself. Considering what I'd done, I thought bearing the mere hits was just so less for me to pay.

Soon I was thrown by her onto the floor. Realizing I would actually be hit to death by a small towel, I decided to intervene in her persistent hit.

I took off my hood. "Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait…wait, wait!" I begged.

"Owen?" She finally stopped. And I saw her eyes just at that second. Oh, that wanting-to-kill-me part had not won over the rest yet, but still maintained certain strength.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She yelled at me, which was a sort of mild greeting to a man barging in a female changing room.

"I had to make sure you weren't armed." I pressed on my neck, "Who was I kidding?"

"What do you want?"

"I started something…" I paused for a breath, "I need your help to finish it."

She looked at me very seriously, just like I had done something so irretrievable. I knew she would see things in an over-serious way, as in her eyes I was capable of anything, which was the same the other way around, though. It was just none of us would admit this. "Owen...what did you do?" asked her.

"Can we leave this until back to your place?" I struggled up with my elbow leaning on the floor.

"Fine…" she nodded.

"I'll wait outside." I said and went out of the room.


	16. Your Rules

**To Niki: **

**Oh Nikki, I never expected you yourself would read this story. I'm so excited!**

**Ehhh...just kidding :D I just really like your ID. **

**Now seriously, thank you for your review. I'm glad you like the story. It means a lot.**

* * *

><p>She soon went out with her clothes on, and walked over me without saying anything. I had to follow her and at the meantime controlled my walking pace not to exceed her. I guessed she was adjusting her emotion so that when she talked to me again, she could at least speak in a less angry tone.<p>

"Hey…" I tried to say something because I thought it was the best time for me to express my view when she wasn't ready to talk. When she got ready, maybe it could never be possible for me to break in.

She turned around abruptly, because of which her hair smacked my face. Whoa, angry hair, huh?

"Eh…I just wanna tell you what I did, so…you can keep walking…time's limited you know…"

And she turned back, walking on.

"I uploaded a video from the black box…"

She again stopped sharp, and I almost crashed onto her. She turned around to me with her forehead creasing in a frown, which expressed, I guessed, an extreme disappointment at me. I knew I'd done something terrible, but never realized it was terrible to such an extent…

"Owen!" She yelled, seemed wanting to say something but only bit her lip and shook her head.

"What…?"

"This is something I'm trying to avoid in any case. Why you…" She stopped with a sigh, and that meant I had done the most stupid thing in the world, ever. "What did you upload?"

I told her about the video. She didn't judge anymore, but kept going at an even higher speed.

Arriving at her place, Nikita asked me, "Where the hell is it?"

"The black box is in a safe place."

She had another look at me, a look that clearly expressed that I was an idiot. I couldn't take such a look any more. If I wanted her to really listen to me, I had to firstly make her be aware that my intellectual level was as high as hers…or at least, not too much lower than hers…

"Don't look at me like I'm some sort of dumb recruit. I'm in this fight just as much as you are." I said, trying to tell her everything I wanted to before she started to say something.

"I fired a shot across Percy's bow." This was something I was eager to let her know, cause subconsciously, I seemed to need her positive recognition on what I'd done.

"That's not all you've done." She threw her bag onto the bed and turned around to me. Clearly, she'd already thought of what I'd just said, yet was not planning to say anything positive. "There is a reason why I don't release Division operations to the press, Owen. First there is chaos. And then there is a cover-up. Someone will get framed for this. Or did you not consider that?" She was talking so fast that I only took in half of her words actually, as I didn't finish my words myself. I hoped she could give her judgment after hearing out my plan. Not extravagantly wishing that she could approve it this time, but as least let me say it out

"I have a plan." I was trying to slow down our talking speed.

"Oh, I've heard that before." She gave me a kind of ironical and scornful smile. And the speed wasn't slowed down at all.

"The video didn't come from the black box." I showed her the memory stick, "The video came from this."

Finally she turned a little bit serious, and I decided to seize this chance, "Percy sends these to the guardians, and we use them to update the black boxes."

"Still not hearing a plan." said her.

_Later she admitted that she'd been a little ill-tempered. She knew what I'd been saying something other than nothing, but she just couldn't control her temper. Now she can't, either, which…seems to be a good thing. As she always says, only with me can she not ever care about her temper._

_She told me she'd never realized that failing to take revenge for Michael would influence her so much, and said when working with other people, she'd never lose control of herself. If it had been someone else that day, there would've been no way for them to work together._

_"My luck, it was you that came that day," One day she was sitting by the sea and said to me. I opened my eyes wide and stared at her. You know, such good words coming from her mouth, it happened for not more than 10 times since we'd met. And before I completely digested them, she actually added some more, "and now…"_

"There is a Division scientist, designation engineer. He built the boxes. He encrypted them. He set up the entire system. I released the video, because if Percy thinks the system is compromised..."

"Then the engineer will come in and fix it." She was a clever woman.

"Exactly. And when he does, it's our chance to locate the other 6 boxes. We do that, we take 'em out, and then we take out Percy." I was quite high on talking about my plan, especially she seemed not to be against it.

"And how did you think you were gonna get close to this engineer?"

Well, got to my point. I pointed at her, biting my lip, and said, "That's why I came to you. He's gonna report to Division. You got someone on the inside."

She turned around with knitted brows. Apparently I penetrated into her secret, and she didn't like that. What she didn't like more was that she realized I was not as simple as she'd thought. She was used to seeing people, especially people on her side, simpler than the actual status; she wanted to know completely about them, and she wanted to be needed by them, in which case she felt secure.

"How do you know I have someone on the inside?" she asked me.

I shrugged, "Typing a line and watching a bare screen for a certain time, I don't think you are doing something else but chatting with someone."

She kept silent for a while, and then turned aside. I knew she was digesting the fact that I was cleverer than she'd thought, the fact I didn't think I had enough ability to change.

"You made first strike alone," Oh, she was still mad at me leaving without saying anything, "knowing that you would need my asset for follow-through. Why?" her fast talking speed gave me no chance to chop in, "Did you think that I was just gonna go along with your little plan?"

"I didn't think you'd help, all right?" I said, at the meantime she was staring at me with some clear anger in her eyes. "Not after what I did." I added, and saw a slight change in her expression.

"Back at the pool…" I continued, "when you saw it was me…"

She turned around, which meant she already knew what I wanted to say. I again hit something she was trying to hide. I guessed she was also wondering about how I would achieve to know her thoughts for twice within only minutes, and for the following many times as well which she didn't expect yet at this moment. That was easy actually. Same experiences led to same ideas. Unwilling to admit, but as to this issue, Division did help a lot.

"…part of you wanted to kill me." seeing her not react or turn back, I kept saying, "I don't blame you, Nikita…"

"Stop." she said in a low voice, which sounded like she was about to cry.

_As far as I could see for now, anything related to Daniel would make her cry. No changing even after. Daniel was just like a wound that would never heal. Since it was a wound caused by me, I've been taking every opportunity to better the situation, the effect of which was…_

_"Hello Daniel" became my first greeting to that months-old baby inside her when we finally got to know its gender._

_I was so used to her surprising face, so was not surprised at all to see it again._

_We'd never discussed about the baby's name before that day, because if it was a boy, I already had a name for him, which Nikita didn't know though. But later I was told that she was also had a name for the baby if it was a girl._

_"You got any other suggestion, for the name?" I shrugged, "Better not, cause I am not planning to negotiate." I seldom said such firm words, and to her, not more than 3 times._

_She cried after all. But there was progress; she then smiled._

Her instructions always worked on me…eh well, seemingly worked on me, except for "stop". Usually, "stop" was only put to use when it came to Daniel, topics about whom I didn't really want to avoid. It was the basic requirement to reveal the wound if you want to cure it.

"Division made me what I am, and Percy put me in a cage to guard his secrets." I said, carefully taking a step closer to her, "I had no idea what I was helping him do. Until you came along…" I put my hand on her shoulder, trying to turn her face to me.

"Stop it. Stop!" She was startled like being hit by an electric shock and violently whacked my hand off her shoulder. But she turned her face to me anyway.

I had to say my body was also like getting through an electric shock when my hand was whacked off. A strong feeling of frustration, spread all over me from the tip of my finger. That was really a bad feeling. It was like, I'd known she was hostile to me, and I was ready for that, but that whack, it still stroke a heavy blow at me.

She seemed to be aware that she had been kind of over-reacted. She looked aside, and I noticed her eyes had got wet.

"Help me." I seemed to see a slight hope in her eyes, so I kept saying, "We can do this."

"If I do this, there's no we." She turned her head around again.

I thought she would leave me and did this on her own after knowing about the matter, so I needed to figure out a way to let her dismiss such an idea.

"My operation, my rules." She looked at me and continued, "Say it."

Oh, it was like this…Seemed I was thinking too much huh? So I smiled, "Your rules."

She didn't even change her expression and gesture. Guessed she'd never thought I would agree without a bit hesitation. She maybe had already prepared to deal with the occasion that I said "no", which to her surprise turned to be a "yes".

_She told me that in or out of Division no one would ever be happy to accept her plan in the first place. That was why she'd never expected I would agree with her just like that, especially not when she'd wrongly thought I would be the one who reject the most._

_"It was just a matter of probability." I commented on her wrong expectation, "There is always some idiot that will accept your plan without further ado."_

Her computer beeped. I guessed it was her insider, so I walked away, figuring that she would let me know if there was something I needed to know.

"Division's creating an electronic paper trail to paint someone as anti-Quintana." She said to me with her eyes still on the screen.

Hoo…she was right, and I was being naive. Plan needed changes…

"You were right. I never considered this kind of collateral damage."

She raised her eyebrows, "Actions have consequences that division teaches you to ignore." She turned at me, "First thing you have to learn is forget everything they taught you."

"Do we know who they're framing?" asked me.

"We'll find out." She wiped a strand of hair aside, "All right, this engineer, what's he look like?"

Oh…describing someone, or anyone, maybe anything…was really my weak point…

"He's, like, 40, 45, weird, glasses, kind of, um, eccentric. Weird…"

"I got it." She gave me a failing-to-find-a-reason-to-beat-me-but-still-want-to look.

And till now she's kept holding a disdainful attitude toward my incapability of describing things. But I am fine with that, cause I know at least how to describe her, most accurately: she's the best.

She sent all the information about the engineer to her insider. Soon, there came out something.

"I got something." said her, "Division's linking this paper trail to the same IP address every time, pinged at a home Wi-Fi, belongs to Ryan Fletcher of Alexandria. Oh, here we go. He consults for an import-export company, Madrazo Imports, offices in Virginia and Santiago, Chile."

"Import-export…that seems a little like a CIA front." I said. It was common sense.

"Framing a company man. Bold stroke." She made a conclusion.

Then she looked out the telephone number of the Chile office.

"OK, since you uploaded the video, how long has it been?" she asked me.

"About 8 hours, 40 minutes."

"OK…" She kept searching, "flights to Chile from 11 p.m. yesterday…Division started to forge records from…OK…" she pointed at one flight in the timetable, "Smoothly, he will land in 30 minutes."

"What's your plan?" I asked.

"Call him." answered her, "tip him off."

"You think he'd believe you?"

She looked at me, "You got any better idea?"

I actually wanted to say that we could move straight to Chile. A+ student from CIA would never buy some unsourced information. But…her rules…so… I looked back at her, blinked my eyes and shook my head. Then she turned back at the screen.

After half an hour, she connected the office in Chile.

"Hello, Madrazo Imports? May I speak to Ryan Fletcher?" Then she nodded to me, seemed like the call was transferred to Ryan.

"This is Ryan Fletcher." Someone picked the phone and confirmed his identity.

"Listen to me very carefully."

"Who is this?" he started to ask questions.

"You are being framed for the murder of Andre Quintana…"

"What?"

"I have credible intelligence from an active mission to compromise you…"

"Who is this?" He asked again. Sure enough A+ student's way to act.

Nikita caught a quick glance at me and kept saying, "I'm a friend. Ryan, listen to me. You need to sever ties and go to ground immediately."

"I'm not doing anything until you tell me who you are and how you know who I am." Oww, absolute A+ student, not moving until getting enough information. In usual case, that was not a problem, but it was not a usual case now.

There came gunfire from the other side of the phone. Nikita was still obdurate in talking to Ryan, but I got away from the table, threw open her weapon case, grabbed a gun and got in loaded.

"What the hell are you doing?" she was kind of angry at me.

"What does it look like? I'm goin' with you." I didn't hold even a bit back in my answer.

_My answer seemed to surprise her again. She said, in Division, what was worse than "working alone" was "working with Nikita". She had never ever imagined that there would be someone who proactively, even excitedly asked to work together with her. From my perspective, it was still a sort of matter of probability. "Among those who accept your plan without further ado, there are always some super idiots willing to work with you in excitement."_


	17. Duet

I put away the gun on my body and asked, "Can we move?"

She stood up, only gave a look at me, and then started to sort a pile of documents and credentials, which made me know that we were not to move yet. I didn't really understand why she needed these things, cause it was only to find that A+ boy and take down those who'd taken him.

"Let's go." said her, passing over me while I was still thinking.

"Oh, yeah." I followed her.

She kept silent on the plane, with her eyes looking outside the window. Her eye expression was… well, nothing to do with pleasant.

I wanted to ask if there was something wrong, but considering the most possible answer I could get was "nothing" or even worse like "none of your business", I held back.

"What are you looking at?" She suddenly turned her face to me. Then I realized I'd been watching her for quite a long time, unconsciously.

"Uh…nothing." I moved my eyes away. She said nothing but looked to the outside again, and again I couldn't help watching her. And of course, I achieved to move my eyes away before her another, which was very likely to happen, "What are you looking at?".

Getting off the plane, we quickly acquired a jeep. She directly took the driver's seat, which left me no option but to take the one beside her.

We arrived at the office and I opened the door right away after she pulled up.

"Woo, woo…" She gripped my hand, "Close the door."

I was kind of surprised, but closed the door anyway.

"Wait here. I've got credentials." she got out all the stuffs she'd brought. I finally knew what they were for. "I'll tell them Langley sent me to follow up on the kidnapping. All I have to do is cross-reference this alias with their servers, find the location and an I.D. Number."

I actually got her point, but still looked at her with a sort of confusion. I did know about her plan, but didn't really know what that plan had to do with me. And if it had nothing to do with me, then what I was doing here?

"Is there a problem?" She noticed my expression.

"You lost me at 'wait here'."

"I have credentials. You don't. That makes you backup. Got it?"

So you're gonna play the whole show and I'm gonna sit aside, being an audience. That's your plan?

Based on any position, I didn't like this plan, and I thought it was a unreasonable plan, a plan to which if I didn't say "no" this time, then she was gonna keep planning like this. I could no way accept that.

But…how to let her know it? Uncompromising opposition was not gonna work, and I didn't want to piss her off, so…

"You're used to workin' on your own, huh?" I said, "Kind of…" I gesticulated, "just get right in there, direct offense. Solo, right?"

"Do you know what I'm not used to?" She habitually started to look at me with a "you must be wrong" expression, "Sitting outside a building I'm about to infiltrate and talking about how I'm going to infiltrate it."

I knew I'd achieved my goal, so I turned aside, suddenly wanting to smile, really. Had to say, her desperate-to-retort-and-explain face was really cute.

"When I do something, I just get in there…" then she stopped.

Yeah, you've realized it, haven't you? That's what I'm expecting. Thinking of this, I looked at her, raising my eyebrows.

"Yeah…" she looked out of the window. Her reaction made me believe few people, with mere words, had ever pushed her into such a position.

_She told me later that she'd never imagined I could make it, making her just be like losing her tongue. However, I thought anyone could make it, at least on this "solo" matter. It was just, most of them never had this chance, or they had the chance but no idea how to say it in a right way. Maybe some people had tried already, but said in a wrong way, words had been all like falling on stony ground._

_"How did you know what was the right way?" she asked me._

_"Well," I shrugged my shoulder, "if you are dying to protect something, you will of course dig up your brain to figure out a proper protecting way."_

_She smiled and put her head on my shoulder._

_"You didn't really take in my words that day, though." I lowered my head, "You still like solo."_

_Through the shake on my shoulder, I knew she was laughing again. She said, "So do you."_

_She kept her eyes looking out of the window for a minute, kind of unreconciled. After some adjustment _maybe, she turned back to me, "Just wait here."

I smiled and nodded, kind of a thoughtless promise. I meant thoughtless, because I wasn't really gonna keep it.

I gazed after her getting off the jeep and walking into the office, then got off the jeep myself. I reached the door of that office as well, and picked a spot against the wall where I could hear them talking inside. I stood there and listened. According to what I'd heard, I knew she was already searching on the computer for the information we wanted. I guessed, besides her there was another man in the office. Hmm, kind of easy.

Then I heard that man walking nearer to the door, and was making a phone call. I heard him saying, "Langley? Yeah, this is Santiago Office…you sent for the kidnapping…oh yeah? Jordyn, yeah, you sure? Oh…OK. Thanks." To this point, I knew Nikita's blown. But it had been quite a long enough time already, for her to get what she wanted. So knock him down and we leave, that's it.

I bent down my body, and sneaked into the office. She saw me, so I shrugged for not keeping my "promise". Then I kept approaching that man.

"Really? 'cause you know what I think? I think that you…" he was still saying when I suddenly straightened up and hooked my arm around his neck, and he fell down to the ground.

I smiled at her, "Somebody call for backup?"

_I thought my smile was kind of good, but she later told me that after I turned everything in the house upside-down only to find a smallest item for her, I would always show her that wanting-to-take-a-credit smile._

She was sending me a failing-to-find-a-reason-to-beat-me-but-still-want-to look again. She didn't say anything, but I guessed she was just torn between saying "why don't you stay in the car" and saying "well done, thanks". And my suggestion? Both. But she seldom picked my suggestion, so she actually said none.

She stood up, "Rebels' camp located. We need hurry."

Walking out of the office, she still quickly took up the driver's seat. Then no option for me again. That was the habit formed during all the time's driving alone? Well, I didn't like that. Division's best agent though, she was still a female. No discrimination, but, driving is something belonging to someone with an opposite gender to hers, someone like me. I had been quite amazed at her driving skill, but I still didn't think it should be a reason for her to reject being taken care of.

_Fortunately, this habit has already been got rid of now._

_How?_

_Two ways in general:_

_First, if not late, get into the car before her, the driver's cab of course. Take the seat and close the door._

_Second, if already late, hold her up and out of the driver's cab, walk around the front of the car to the co-driver's cab, open the door and seat her in; then I jump over the car head with one hand leaning on it, and get back into the driver's cab._

Because of the matter of gender, I was watching her again. In my impression, she seemed to keep dressing like this. You're gonna wear this bullet-proof vest all along until we take down Percy? I looked through her clothes hanger once; there were not few beautiful clothes. But, as I guessed, she did not really have many chances to wear them in such a kind of life. Stronger and stronger, I felt she should never live this life…

Oh by the way, I already refined my ability of moving my eyes away from her exactly before she threw me a "what are you looking at?".


	18. Mr Question

"We are here." She stopped the jeep at the entry of the valley, "Should be far away enough." Apparently she was not asking for my advice.

She jumped off the jeep and walked right in front of me, and I followed her with my gun ready, at the meantime watched our back.

Soon the camp came into our sight. She picked a rock as our cover. We hid behind it and I held up my gun immediately.

"Put that away." she said, "This isn't a cleaner job."

I stopped my movement, and looked at her. Cleaner…I was kind of upset to hear this word, especially coming out from her mouth. It was an identity I'd been so desperate to cast off, but she'd just reminded me, I was far away from changing the cleaner's acting style that had melted into my blood.

But she herself didn't seem to feel better saying out this word. She closed her eyes, "I'm sorry." She raised her head and said to me. I guessed, this cleaner word reminded her of something that was much worse than it did to me. So I didn't think I had any reason not to let it go.

"That's OK." I lowered my gun, "I'm new at this hero stuff. You've been doin' it a lot longer."

"I'm not a hero, Owen." answered her.

Well, I didn't agree with that. And I made up my mind that I could leave everything else behind except for this one. As to this one, I had to express my opposition to her, in any wise.

We saw the rebels' leader coming out from the cave. There shouldn't be many of them inside the cave, cause it was no need to set so many "bodyguards" for that A+ boy.

"We go in hot, we put Fletcher in the cross fire." she looked at me, "Nonlethal wherever possible. You got it?" she sounded like being educating a little kid.

"Yeah." I nodded.

Then she quickly jumped out of the rock, almost soundlessly. And I followed up.

We approached the camp from the back. On the way, she fetched out a retractile stick. Whoa, really not gonna use the gun? I didn't have such stuffs on me, so after a while thinking, I came up with a "backup": my jacket.

She already took down one of the rebels with her stick, and got cover behind a car. Another rebel found her, approaching with his gun aiming at her. I rushed up from his back, constricted his neck with my jacket, and threw him onto the ground.

"Quiet enough?" I asked her while I was putting my jacket on.

"Uh-hum." She let out two syllables from her throat, not looking at me but passing straight to one side of the car to check the move of the rest rebels. Seemed she was not good at giving positive comments huh? Oh…maybe…just not good at giving positive comments on me.

But whatever, she's mine now, doesn't really matter how she comments on me.

After I put on my jacket, I saw a rebel had targeted her. Then the whole "quiet thing" slipped out of my mind. I pulled her over and pushed her closer to the car, right behind me, and at the meantime held up my gun and shot him, which of course brought the big attention of all the rebels. She threw at me an accusatorial glare, and then rushed out, followed by me. We and the rebels were too close to aim with a gun at each other, so Nikita was still using the stick, the effect of which, as I knew, wouldn't last long. So I was moving after her, finishing those who stood up from the ground after taking down by her.

Soon, all the rebels outside the cave were down. She turned around to look at me, kind of surprising, like she'd never believed this could happen.

What? No one ever watched your back?

_Then it became me that was surprised when she gave me the "no" answer. She'd worked alone for most of the time; even if there were two, her partner could never follow her pace._

_She'd never expected I could do this, especially without saying a word to each other. And my explanation was, "Among those super idiots who accept your plan without further ado and then are willing to work with you in excitement, there are always some superior ones devoting their lives to keep up with your pace."_

She ran into the cave, still followed by me. As guessed, only a few rebels were in there, and I saw one in the corner holding up his gun.

We didn't really assign each one's job, but both went on as we did. She, close combat; me, fire backup. However that one in the corner, he'd got a good cover. It had already taken me quite a time but my bullets still couldn't touch him. And during this time, Nikita already finished the leader, and got off the plastic bag that'd been strained over the A+ boy's head.

"I'm out." I shouted. Almost the meantime, she lay down onto the ground, passing on a gun to me, and I lay down as well, grabbed the gun and pulled trigger. The leader was finally shot down.

We both looked at each other for a second while we were still down on the ground. Two soloists' first cooperation, kind of impressive huh? I guessed both of us needed some time to really take in this fact, but for now it was apparently not a suitable timing. She stood up, got out a knife, and cut off the rope that'd been fastening Ryan's hands.

"Who are you?" He asked right after he jumped up from the chair. Wow, so persistent, hundred-percent A+ student!

"Nikita. You hung up on me." Nikita was gathering ammo from the rebel's body while answering the A+ question, "Let's go." Then she straightened up, about to leave the cave.

"Where?" Ryan was keeping asking questions. Questions all the way since he'd opened up his mouth. But it was really not the time for questions. So hey A+ boy, if I were you, I would just follow this woman, wherever to, and no questions asked. It's true that you know nothing about her, but look, she just saved your life.

"Ryan…" She was trying to explain.

"Look, I just watched myself get framed for murder. And now you two show up." Apparently this A+ boy had never handled such a situation.

"I warned you that might happen." said Nikita.

"Who did this?" Oh question again. Hey Mr. Question, your fascination with asking questions is really beyond my imagination. "You know about the black ops group." he added.

I turned to Nikita, only to see she was looking at me, too. We both realized that this A+ boy was indeed A+, which was perfectly proved by the following happenings.

I really couldn't imagine a principled and orthodox man like Ryan was able to reach this far; he actually knew the existence of Division!

_"Don't draw a conclusion so roughly." said Nikita, "You were also an A+ student in Division."_

"Let's get you out of here. We'll talk later." Nikita dragged Ryan out of the cave, still, followed by me.

We heard gun fire before we got out. Fortunately there was a car right outside the cave. We quickly took cover behind it.

"There's more of them." shouted Ryan.

I was the one standing by the side, closer to them, so I popped out my head to have a check. Some faces really looked familiar; Division finally took the action. "Those aren't rebel guns."

"Who the hell's out there?" asked the A+ boy.

"You wanted black ops, you got it." answered Nikita. As I'd said, I kinda like her sense of humor.

"Nikita, you're surrounded! It's over." someone shouted at us on their side. I could tell it was Michael.

I noticed Nikita lowered her head when hearing Michael's words. A sort of despair showed up on her face. I had seldom seen negative emotions on her face; whatever happened, she would always make me feel like "everything's gonna work out". But this time when she lowered down, I, for the first time, saw the despair.

And she had mentioned Michael earlier…what's wrong between them two?

"Nikita, there's no way out." Michael shouted at us again before I was able to think for more.

"He's right." I turned around, "The only way out is through the forest. We'll be totally exposed and running for days." She was listening to me and meanwhile observing the forest that was waiting for us. Her rolling eyes told me she was seeking a way out; no disturbance by that voice, she was back to normal.

"We could blow up that truck," I was also thinking in my mind, "create a diversion, and flank 'em."

"Or we could be smarter." she disagreed with me, "Hide in the forest, pop 'em off one by one."

I thought for a second, still feeling her way was more risky than mine, and took more time. Ryan had already been claimed by CIA to be the murderer; we had to take him away as soon as possible.

"We tried quiet. Didn't work." I passed on my gun to Nikita; she took it, not against my plan. Seemed that in certain situations, it was an open choice for me whether to listen to her.

"Who are you again?" A+ boy's question never stopped.

But none of us responded this time. I rushed out with a pistol, planning to shoot the petrol tank of that truck. However Michael moved ahead me; he fired the rocket launcher at the truck, which was then blown and burning. I was thrown to the ground by the force of explosion, almost deaf, and had to struggle back to behind the shelter car.

"Forest." I said, only way to try now.

"They're on the move. Let's go. Go! Go!" Michael's voice again.

We were running like a hell, Nikita leading the way, Ryan in the middle, and I guarding the rear, shooting the Division chase. While shooting, I doubted for more and more the relationship between Michael and Nikita.

I was just thinking that maybe Nikita's plan really worked out when the bushes in front of us suddenly rose up with guns. And almost the same time, a line of soldiers in land army uniforms came forth. Uh-oh…great…

Caught in the middle huh?

I raised my hands.

"United States Army! Drop your weapons!" one of the bushes ordered.

And we followed it.

"Hands up!" he said again, "You, too, Ryan!"

"Gil…" Ryan said, raising his hands.

Well…they knew each other…CIA huh? Then I heard Division men sneaking away. Not bad, was it? Rear safe at least.

"Gil, listen to me…" Ryan said while being handcuffed, "I have something to tell you…"

"Maybe after we're back in Langley." answered Gil, and handcuffed me. I recognized this Gil was exactly the man I'd taken down in their office.

"You think I'll have that chance, Gil?"

"Depend on your luck." Gil handcuffed Nikita, too.

I looked at her, whose expression convinced me that she was still trying to figure a way out. I knew we'd really got to the edge, but I wasn't actually feeling the same level's tension. All I was feeling was, it'll be okay; I am being with Nikita. And I was feeling it so strongly.

_Nikita told me later that she felt the same when being with me. _

_We both had no idea why we'd give each other this kind of feeling, and had no idea how precious this feeling was to both of us._

_It was just, "everything will be fine since you're here"._

_Maybe there was one, oh two actually, exceptions when this feeling between us went a little bit wrong. That was when our family got expanded._

_The day Daniel was born, I seemed to use up the 20-year's quota of "tension" in the delivery room. It took four doctors to drag me out. And Nikita told me I was just behaving like I'd never got rid of the Regimen stuff._

_Then when Emily was born, doctors, with full experience, blocked the whole hospital from me, requiring that I stay at least 10 meters away. After rounds of negotiation, I was allowed to stay at the other side of the hallway, watched by my "guardian". So that day, the four-year-old Daniel was unwillingly sitting beside me. And I totally understood him, cause if I were him, I would rather keep chatting with that vain and babbling and childish man living two blocks away for years than to be regarded as the son of a maniac called Owen Elliot._

_Nikita always said that she was raising three kids actually, with Owen the youngest._

_And after numerous times of my getting up and down, Daniel couldn't keep seated anymore._

_"Daddy," he looked at me with his brown eyes that had been inherited from his mother, and said genuinely, "mommy's gonna be alright, OK?"_

_I stared at this little kid, woo…he's Nikita's son! Those magic things flowing in their blood, they were just so amazing. _

_But when Emily's loud cry finally came out from the delivery room, Daniel just burst in to tears. I held him up, only to find that he was trembling. Oh, all pretended huh? Nikita's son, keen on the fake courage in the same way._

We were all handcuffed, and taken to somewhere by them. Ryan was still trying to talk to Gil on the way, while Nikita kept her attention on Ryan's moves. And I was concentrated on sticking between Nikita and those soldiers, ensuring a certain space between them so that soldiers would not accidentally touch Nikita.

And then, there came a giant into my sight, a plane…wow…


	19. Partner

Escaping plans usually worked better on land, so this…

Nikita and I looked at each other, and seemed we came to a mutual agreement, which was kind of depressing: we are over.

However we didn't actually feel the despair that we'd got to the dead end. Like she said, it was quite difficult to feel despairing when being with me.

Trapped in the plane up in the sky, I focused on studying the handcuffs around my wrists. Well… no easy to get rid of it…but there was hope, only some tools needed… I was just like, as she described later, a little kid fixing his toys.

"I don't think…" she watched me unconstructively tinkering around the handcuffs, and finally expressed to me her "being bothered" mood, "…escape is an option, not at 30,000 feet."

She's right…so I stopped.

"If this was a Division job," I looked around, "they'd be sendin' me in right now with a couple of briefcases full of acid." I said this, trying to make both of us a little bit nervous. Otherwise, it was really hard for me to make certain that we were actually stuck in an extremely dangerous and hopeless situation.

"I'm pretty sure that's what's waiting for us on the ground." said her, nothing in her tone having anything to do with nervousness.

"Even if I could slip these cuffs," I was staring them again, "I don't see a way out of here."

"I do." She looked at me.

And I looked back at her. I was kind of surprised actually, but just failed to let my feeling be reflected on my face.

She would figure out a way. I believed that; I always did, with no reason though. I couldn't say it out, but I just believed it, like I'd believed three years ago that she'd not died.

"My rules, remember?" she said.

I looked at her. I remembered that, so she didn't really need to remind me.

"Say it." said her.

"Your rules." I said.

Then she paid her attention to Ryan, who had been talking with Gil, louder and louder. So we are gonna count on him?

It was true that I'd said her rules, but…this plan, counting on the A+ boy? I seriously doubted that. It later turned out to be my prejudice, like she said, I'd been subconsciously measuring people with Division's evaluation system, so to people like Ryan, I'd held a prejudice that he's "useless".

_"How can you achieve that? Treating people fairly." I asked her later._

_"I have no qualification not to…" She looked out of the window, "A person who'd been taking Ketamine, and then was taken from prison to do all dirty things for Division…you think she still has the qualification…"_

_"Hey, look at me." I put my hands on her shoulder and stopped her, "It has nothing to do with qualification, OK? You treat them fairly because you are willing to trust them. I don't know how you do that, but I know, you are always willing to trust people whatever you've ever experienced."_

_She lowered down and smiled._

_"And trust me," I continued, "if you have to say this qualification stuff, then no one would be more qualified than you to hold prejudice against people out there." I let out a breath and looked her in the eyes, "You are the best, just remember that."_

_She buried her head into my chest. She told me that she'd seldom cried, but it was weird that I somehow had this ability to make her cry so easily._

_"So it was not weird, if it was someone else that made you cry? Hey, you know what, this is your prejudice." I answered._

"The rebels could have taken anyone. They took me." I heard Ryan saying, "Oh, come on, Gil. The White House spokesman called me out on national TV a few hours after I was grabbed. This was a coordinated smear campaign that I guarantee you were supposed to end with me in the grave."

"What do you want?" asked Gil.

Ryan moved his eyes to us, said, "I wanna talk to them."

Nikita had been watching them all the way, while I was seeking for other ways out as I didn't really trust Ryan.

Ryan and Gil lowered their voice, so I could no longer hear them clearly. But I guessed they'd come to an agreement, cause Ryan was now sitting in front of us.

"Who do you work for?" asked Ryan. I was still working on the handcuffs, so I thought Nikita was a better answerer.

"I'm an independent contractor." Nikita said.

I took a glace at Nikita, and lowered my head. Her rules though, I was still kind of upset that she didn't regard me as her partner.

"What about the strike team that chased us through the woods?" Ryan kept playing as a Mr. Question, "Who are they?"

"They were specially trained operatives. Most of them were assassins." answered Nikita, seemed she wasn't planning to tell Ryan about Division.

"You're not answering my question." He raised her voice, apparently not satisfied with Nikita's answer.

But I also was not satisfied with his attitude, so I raised my head and stared at him. I disliked people talking to Nikita like this, though I didn't really know from which stand I would think so.

"What organization?" Ryan kept asking, with a top-ranked vigor of digging into the deepest, "You've gone rogue from them, haven't you?" Oh top-ranked analyzing ability as well. CIA's big loss to sacrifice this man.

"Where are you from?" Nikita suddenly asked him.

"What?" Oh, Mr. Question liked to answer with a question.

"Where were you born?" Nikita kept asking. Seldom people could defeat her in the battle of taking the conversation initiative.

"St. Louis. Why?" answered Ryan.

"Why'd you join the CIA?"

"I'm asking the questions." Well, Ryan realized the initiative lost, so he tried to take it back, but…you know how difficult it could be, when it's in Nikita's hands?

"They recruit you?" Nikita of course ignored his ineffectual effort.

"I signed up in college." And Ryan cleverly gave up that effort. Hey, you should've done that in the first place.

"Watched a bunch of James Bond movies, wanted free dental?" I heard Nikita say this, and I smiled at her. Hey, I think we are supposed to be a little bit serious, aren't we? Well…actually I couldn't get serious. So I smiled at Ryan.

"I had an older brother," Ryan was serious all the time, "died in Afghanistan in '03."

Then we stopped smiling.

"All right. This little exercise is over." said Gil, "Come on, kid."

"No. I'll talk." Nikita said, turning to Ryan, "But only to you."

"Nikita, don't do this." I couldn't help breaking in, "We can't trust him."

According to what I'd known about Ryan, I could not convince myself that he was reliable enough. And…it took me quite an effort to win Nikita's trust, oh maybe not really until this moment, but this guy, he seemed to have achieved that already, just with a few words. Had to say…I was kind of… jealous of him.

"We are 30,000 feet in the air, with nothing to look forward to on the ground." she looked at me, saying with a nonnegotiable tone, "I have to trust someone."

Well, to this point, I could say nothing; I had to listen to her. But still, I threw Ryan an unfriendly glare to express my real attitude. Then I sat back, not joining in their conversation anymore.

"Let's talk." Nikita said, and all of us looked at Gil.

"You really wanna go above your paygrade on this one, Gil?" Ryan said and then turned to Nikita, "'Cause it's about to hit the fan."

I was surprised to see a slight of excitement appearing on Ryan's face. Hey man, you don't actually need to show that Quixote face even if you really gotta hit the fan.

"All right, 5 minutes." saying this, Gil walked away.

"How much do you know about that black ops program?" Nikita asked Ryan

"Three months ago I started…"

"Get to the point. We're running out of time." Nikita interrupted him, which made me feel better, because it seemed that she did not just like to interrupt me.

"OK…Mirko Dadich, three months ago in New York. That event, from the plan making and action taking, all similar with this one, today. This one was also run by them, the black ops program, right?" asked Ryan, "And many a single event that followed, I saw a similar modus operandi. No exact action report found, no specific budget source traced, but always some non-organizational spokesman, just popped up, to deal with the follow-ups. Shirking off the responsibility upon the others after they get what they want, is that their style?"

Whoa, A+ students after all had their point existing in this world.

"Yeah…to a certain extent," Nikita answered, "you're on the right track. And if you make what you've known public, Division would undoubtedly get you killed.

"Division? Just Division?" Ryan asked.

"Pretentious, I know."

"How can they be allowed to exist?"

"Well, they have secrets, operational details on covert missions going back 5 administrations. Most of it, the oval office never even knew about. If this program is threatened in any way, the man who runs it will release those secrets."

"How much could he really have?"

"Enough to turn the world against us, our own people against us. This program, it's a cancer, Ryan. We need to get rid of it without killing the patient. You can help."

Now I could not admire her less. The farthest point I could reach was to get out from this shit, but she'd already focused on the future, after we got out.

_"Well, you can only concentrate on the close and concrete matters." That was how she judged me, "Things that are a little more abstract, are just beyond your thinking capacity."_

_"Yeah…agree." I nodded, and stood still, thinking about her words. It was true. Seemed that I really could only focus on the concrete things or persons. That was why she'd insisted on not publishing what's in the black box, while I'd been obstinate in publishing them just to take down Percy._

_"What are you thinking?" asked her._

_"You." I answered, "Others are too far away to think."_

"How?" Ryan asked.

"Help me find their co-conspirators in the government. There is a group. I just…I don't know who they are. But they sanction Division…"

"What's in this for you?" Ryan interrupted her.

"What do you mean?"

"What's your angle?"

"There's no angle."

"Why did you and your partner go rogue?"

"We're not partners." I was kind of anxious to explain. Nikita had said, there's no we, so I was thinking whether I'd done something that might cross that line. I was afraid once I stepped across the line, she, according to our cooperating principle, i.e. "her operation, her rules", might probably no longer work with me. And honestly, I was kind of scared of that happening.

"We are." Nikita looked at me and said.

Wow, hope was for sure something that came to you when you were actually feeling hopeless.

Hearing what she'd just said, I felt like…if it was not because she'd been planning something else, I would definitely break the handcuffs, grab a gun, shoot down everyone but Nikita here, and take over the cockpit.

_Such kind of hope, Nikita's given me for twice. And this, was the first one._

_Long after we survived this time, I've been gaining strength and fulfillment from this sentence: we are partners. Then one day, I suddenly realized, I was no longer excited and content about our relationship as partners._

"We're trying to bring them down." From now on, her words represented mine, too, so I started to listen carefully.

"Why?" Well, Mr. Question was back.

Nikita hesitated for a while, and said, "When I was there, I did a lot of things under orders. I engaged on the black. Do you understand? Sins I can never repay. I don't know how to come back from that."

Then she stopped for a moment. I thought, these words, they could only stand for my condition and thinking, not hers.

In my heart, I felt it was like…she could forgive anyone else, but herself.

"Maybe bringing Division down... gets me one step closer." Nikita said.

I lowered my head, considering her words. If that way, then finding black boxes and taking down Percy had much more important significance to her than what I'd imagined. Although I thought what she'd been doing was much enough, she obviously was not thinking the same. So…finding the rest boxes…should we keep working together…?

"OK." Ryan pulled me back from my thinking, "If I do this, I'm gonna need proof."

I looked at him, knowing that there was no reason not to trust him. Then I got out the memory stick from my boots, said, "This is all the proof you'll need."

He reached out his hand, while I held back a bit, "We're gonna need one thing in return." I said.

"Name it." Ryan said, with a tone due to which I seemed to re-know him. In his tone, I got the information that he would give what we asked for whatever it took.

"Get us off this plane." I said, handing over the memory stick.

"I'll make sure cleary gets you protection on the ground." said Ryan.

"He means now," Nikita took over my words. I was kind of used to that, she saying out my ideas ahead of me. "before we land." she added.

Ryan looked at us, while we expressed to him with our eyes such information that we insisted.

Then we started to work out a way.

"People in this plane, they all listen to Gil?" Nikita asked.

"Yes." Ryan answered.

"Good. We breach from him." said Nikita, "Need to find a way to get him close."

"What way?" asked Ryan.

"Hey," Nikita turned to me, "you're good at passing out, right?"

"What?" I didn't really get her point.

"Pretend you feel wrong, get him over." Nikita said, "You can do that, right?"

"…Yeah…"

"Ryan, you then call him over here, OK?" said Nikita.

"OK. What's next then?"

"You don't need to know that, it'll be better for you." said Nikita, and looked at me, "Let's get started."

"…Oh, OK…" I answered, thinking that she seemed to miss one thing. I didn't really know what's next, either. But it seemed that she didn't think it necessary to tell me, so…maybe I just went on my own way, which luckily turned out to be exactly the same with hers.

I held my head, and started to act like I could no longer breathe. I'd never expected doing this would bring me anything good, but good things always came as a surprise: she put her hands on my arm and back, placating me like I was a real patient. I thought of what had happened this morning when I touched her shoulder, and suddenly realized I seemed to have made a great breakthrough, which might, for real, make me out of breath.

"Gil, something's wrong. He's not breathing." Hah, A+ boy was playing quite well.

Gil came over to us. Then just in a second, Nikita and I stood up, she hooking Gil's neck and I pulling out his gun from her waist.

"Don't move!" I shouted to those soldiers, who had just all risen up.

"Hey, easy!" A+ boy shouted at us.

I drew out the key also from Gil's waist, and unlocked our handcuffs. I passed my gun to Nikita, and ran to the back of plane, during which I suddenly realized I'd just touched her hand for the first time.

I opened the rear door, got a parachute, and ran back to Nikita. "Arm! Arm!" I had to shout because of the loud noise of the strong airstream. I helped her put on the parachute, and put on one myself.

"We're good!" I shouted again. But she didn't move, so I ran to her.

"You should have listened to me!" Nikita shouted at the A+ boy. I was trying to get her out of the plane as soon as possible, so I guessed I half held and half pulled her to let go of Gil.

Then she jumped out, with me following her.


	20. Sunrise

While we were falling, I kept my eyes on Nikita's location. I landed in a mountainous area, was able to see the road. By inference, Nikita should be about 400 meters away from me. So I cut off the rope, and ran in the direction as I'd confirmed.

When I found her, she was focusing on an instrument in her hands.

"If you're hurried to watch the news report tomorrow morning, I guess we'd better get down to ask the way. Hope we don't terrify them." I said to her, "Is that a locator?"

"Yeah, might be broken just now, can't get the signal." She opened its cover, trying to fix it. And I walked away.

"How about we…"

"Richmond, Ohio, highway 70# down there." I walked back and told her, "About 10 hours' drive to your place."

"Hey, how did you…" she turned around and saw the map in my hand, "You like old stuffs, huh?"

"Sometimes reliable." I said, folding the map and putting it into my boot.

I saw her smile. Guessed that was an approval, yeah, it was.

We got a car nearby, and according to my experience, I occupied the driver's cab in advance.

"We shift in 5 hours." She said before she got into the car.

"…"

Yeah, I didn't respond, but just started the engine.

_I always did that, when I wasn't planning to do as she said but not actually wanting to directly say "no". For example:_

_"Owen, I said I want skim milk. No full milk anymore!"_

_"…"_

_"Owen, breakfast is too much. How many times you need me to say that?"_

_"…"_

_"Owen, don't do that in front of kids!"_

_"…"_

I was driving the car while she looking out of the window. It was said that the one sitting beside the driver usually held the responsibility to liven up the atmosphere, but this one apparently did not agree with that. So I guessed, that responsibility fell on me.

"Hey…"

"What?" she looked at me.

"Are you…worried about Ryan?" I asked. Actually it was something else that I'd wanted to ask, but…well, maybe better not.

"Not actually." She answered, "Media are all waiting for him at the airport. Division can't move."

"So this is over?"

"Sort of…Percy will find a way to get Division clear, not really my concern." Then she looked out again.

"Hey."

"What?"

"So we…did it?" I had a look at her.

"Heh…" she lowered a bit and smiled, and then moved back to the outside. I guessed this time her face was supposed to look better.

"Thanks." I said.

"For what?" she turned to me.

"Partner."

Then she smiled again. She told me that I was the first one that ever thanked her for such a kind of reason. For someone else, it would be her greatest luck if she didn't have to apologize for that.

After quite a long time, I finally plucked up my courage and decided to ask her one question that I'd been hesitating to ask.

"Hey…you…what happened before…I mean…you and…Michael?" I wasn't looking at her when I was asking this, because I was afraid she would get angry. Then after a moment, she still didn't answer me. I turned aside, only to find that she'd fallen asleep. Hah…

I caught a glimpse at my watch. 2 a.m. already, about 24 hours since I'd found her in that swimming pool yesterday. As a guardian, like me, it was totally OK not sleeping for 24 hours; and I was quite used to that. I'd just forgotten Nikita wasn't taking the Regimen. How could she make it?

Considering this, I guessed I should say it again:

I turned aside, only to find that she actually hadn't fallen asleep until just now. Hah…

Then I felt relaxed, because I didn't have to bargain with her about the driver's shift any more.

I pulled up the car at the side, quietly adjusted the angle of her seat, and then took off my jacket, putting it over her body. Making sure she was still sleeping sound, I restarted the engine and drove back to the highway.

After a few hours, the sun rose up from the horizon far ahead me. Beautiful!

Well, I didn't know how to describe it with other adjectives.

Then I looked at her, good, still sleeping. And I moved my eyes away, because her face with sunlight shining on it, was too (Oh God, which adjective should I use here?) for me to watch for a little longer time.

So…just drive the car. Need I adjust the angle of the rearview mirror so that I won't see her face through it?

After another 4 hours, I got to our destination. I stopped the car by a park near her place, and Nikita had not woken up yet, which surprised her as well after she woke up.

_She said she'd never expected she would fall asleep, not for so long a time, not when being with another man._

_While I didn't think it hard to explain, as long as the man she was being with, like me, could achieve the following 2 points:_

_One, don't hurt her._

_Two, don't let her be hurt._

_And I wanted to quote the "probability" stuff again. "Among those superior idiots, who accept your plan without further ado, are willing to work with you in excitement, and then devote their lives to keep up with your pace, it's not really difficult to find one man called Owen Elliot."_

I let out a breath, and opened the door, deciding to buy some food in the nearby supermarket.

What should I buy?

She seemed to be a vegetarian, as I hadn't seen any meat-dealing instrument in her kitchen last time. Speaking of this, it seemed that I would often pay attention to people's eating habits, might be because of Emily. I smiled as I thought of Emily. I knew I was supposed to feel sorrowful, but I just couldn't do that, and I didn't know whether it was a right thing. But seemed Nikita couldn't actually feel sorrowful when she thought of Daniel, so it being right or not didn't really matter.

I bought some vegetable salad for Nikita, and returned to the car.

"Got up?" I opened the door and asked her.

"When did I fall asleep?"

"Don't know." I shrugged, "You didn't ask me to mark the timing."

She smiled.

"Something to eat?" I passed her the salad.

"I…" She'd wanted to say something but stopped when she opened the cover, so I guessed it was about her being a vegan thing.

"What's your next plan?" she asked me.

"You really wanna destroy the boxes one by one?" I asked her instead of answering her question. I knew the possibility of a negative answer coming out from her mouth was zero for sure, but I still wanted to ask. I could never ever expect that one day she would really give me the negative answer, and I was actually feeling weird when hearing that answer.

"Of course."

"Oh…" I thought for a while and said, "I need to go back to Montreal first," I looked at her, "get you something you're interested."

Then she smiled again.

I drove to her place and stopped, watching her getting out of the car.

"You're not coming? Have a rest?" She looked up and asked me.

"Well, I still have something to confirm." I smiled. Honestly, I'd like to go upstairs, but I guessed she would need some adjustment or rest, and I…was not really a making-her-easy guest.

She smiled, "You know where I'll be."

"Yeah." I tipped my head, and drove away. From the rearview mirror, I saw her standing there watching me, so I started to laugh like an idiot again, until I passed a corner and couldn't see her anymore.

Right after I got to Montreal, I went to get the black box. Everything went well. And then I sat on the ground, considering the future. Maybe…Nikita and I should keep working together, because first, my previous plan which I'd believed to be perfect actually caused a big mess, and without Nikita's quick mind to change the plan, I would've probably been dipped in the acid, maybe looking like a ridiculous statue or sample; second, Nikita was devoted herself into this matter much more than I'd thought, so it seemed to be a disrespect to her if I didn't work with her; third, I seemed to…to a certain extent…want to see her, for more times, and looking for the black boxes together was the only excuse, so…

I stood up, packed everything and left Montreal for her place.

When I arrived there, she was not home. But this time, I knew where to start.

Not surprisingly, she was in the swimming pool. I didn't follow her to the changing room anymore, but instead waited at the poolside, leaning against a pillar.

She saw me when she swam to the side I was standing by. I raised my hands and said, "This is me standing in the light."

She smiled, "Good plan." Then she blinked her eyes, seemed there was water flowing in.

I picked up a towel, handing over to her, asking, "What'd we got from the engineer?"

"There's a new one." she took the towel, "Percy replaced the old one permanently."

"We get anything?"

"London." she wiped her face.

"When do we leave?"

"I have a few things to take care of here." she wrapped the towel around her waist, "It's getting worse inside for my contact."

"Well, if there's a guardian on the ground in London, I can know what I look for." I said, and actually more liked this way. Just let me handle the preparation work. "I can advance it." I added.

"Then call me."

"No more surprises." In fact, I already made up my mind not to call her when I was saying this. I was planning for a surprise, kind of. It was just, the surprise then brought me, or her, or both of us, some unexpected, and actually unpleasant effects.

"Oh," I almost forgot the major business I was here for. I got out the box and gave it to her, "told you it was safe."

She caught a glance and put in onto the floor. I knew what she's gonna do, but to be honest I could not reconcile myself to that. I still believed there might be something in the box that was advantageous to us, and I knew my words meant little to her, so maybe in the name of that A+ boy? "Well, shouldn't we talk to Ryan? I mean, there might be some secret we could use on that…"

She took out her gun…Pom! And she gave me a look.

"…or not." I added, and realized that in her eyes the A+ boy was in the same level as I was. Well, not bad. At that moment, I thought no one could ever oppose her in this matter. But I was wrong.

"One down, six to go. Seventh's for Percy."

I puckered in a slight smile. I'd known about her plan already, so…gotta get going. I lifted my bag, and was thinking if I'd missed something before I left. There was supposed to be one thing…kind of important…oh yes!

"Oh, you were wrong, by the way," I turned around to her, "you know, back at the camp, what you said."

"About going in quiet?" she looked at me.

"About not being a hero." I smiled.

Her face got softer, and I was glad to see that. Then I left with a smile.

Out of there, I stood in one corner where I could see her but she couldn't see me. I saw her standing still, with her head lowering, looking like she was thinking something. Then after a minute, she left there with a pack of things on the floor.

I watched her walking farther, feeling stronger and stronger that there was another thing I really wanted to do, but it was only a faint idea in my head because I knew I didn't have a chance to do that, or…I was not supposed to do that.

I couldn't name this thing until I was on the way to the airport. Damn it, I'd wanted to give her a cuddle.


	21. Locking

I went back to my place and started to pack up for London. I found my Regimen was running low, for which I'd started preparing since I'd quit being a guardian, as Percy would no way provide a non-staff with the "staff welfare" any more. I'd just not expected this situation would come so soon, cause I'd believed my remaining Regimen was much enough for me to take until I finally got rid of it. So now I was kind of, in the lack of preparation.

But…maybe not that bad…

I didn't know how I concluded this, probably because what I was doing now was exactly what she wanted to do, and what she wanted do would always be done.

Thinking of this, I put the pills bottles into my bag, and left my place.

When I got to London, it was already evening. I put on the hood the second I stepped out of the airport. I'd been here before, and there were too many traffic cameras in this city to people from Division. Right…too much time staying at one place, people could only notice these boring things, which then turned themselves to the boring ones.

_"It's because you are a boring person, don't incriminate those innocent stuffs." Nikita commented this on my above opinion._

_"Yeah. And how do you feel being tagged along by a boring person?" That's my response._

I picked a small discarded theatre as my safe house, not considering much, just because this place was spacious, covered but traffic convenient. But as Nikita said later, surprisingly, it was also a place with…an artistic air.

_"Why surprised?" I shrugged, "Since I've already found an artistic woman here."_

As routine, I prised open a floor board, oh maybe just lift it with a little force as this place was really shabby. I lift a board and put the Regimen bottles in, and then started to sweep out this place for a small space where I could "work".

Then it was time for shopping, which was simple: maps, maps with all versions and scales. Then I unfolded all the maps on my desk, looking for the possible banks.

OK, from the north…Oww…

I fell onto the floor with hands holding my head. It ached more frequently these days, because I had to cut down the dose of Regimen considerably, for it was running lower and lower, at a speed that already exceeded my expectation. When I'd just got here, I'd ground some pills down into powder and taken some, maybe 1/10 of the usual dose.

Only last this long…?

No…I can't do like this, pills would be out in a short time…

I hit my head violently; it was just about to crack. I would definitely go take the Regimen before, but today, I wanted to have a try. What would happen if I didn't take it? My fingers were scratching the floor; the boards were too decrepit to bear this "torture" already.

After a moment, I felt the pain didn't go harder anymore. I stared at the ceiling, and started to see many images showing on there. People I'd not exactly known, and most of them got killed after they met me. They'd shown up before, but this time was much more real. I saw their life, their friends, everything that I'd deprived from them. And then I saw Emily.

It was weird that the pain seemed to be gone, replaced by a strength, strength coming from outside my body; it supported me to get up, and…to think.

I stood against the desk, with a mess in my head, no, maybe no mess at all, but an unprecedented sober and ordered mind.

What I want to do?

Take down Percy, and Division, for all my targets and Emily.

How I'm gonna do it?

The fastest way: find the boxes, release the information, and expose Percy and Division. As Nikita said, Percy was safe because he had the boxes, then if boxes were no longer his leverage, I could make certain there were much more people that wanted Percy down, not just me and Nikita.

Yeah, that' it.

I continued locating the possible banks on the map. I did think of the collateral effect Nikita had mentioned, but just chose to ignore it. Maybe it was the Regimen that partly enhanced my concentration, which was the part that I cared about. And for the part I cared less or even none, I just got blind to it.

But I couldn't focus on the map. My targets…victims…they kept hanging around in front of my eyes, kept distracting me.

I gave up, and sat on the floor。

What the hell do you want? Why don't you just leave me alone? I won't forget you, why the hell you don't believe it? You wanna me to prove it? Fine, I'll prove it, and you wait and see!

Then I looked around the place, and saw the colored markers I'd bought. I knew what to do!

You don't believe what I say? Then just look at it!

Who to start with? Yeah, Emily.

What to stand for you, Emily? Yeah, Butterfly.

I found a picture of butterfly, and brought it to a tattoo store. After some time, I didn't know how long, and I didn't really feel any pain, I went back to the theatre, with a butterfly tattoo on my chest.

What do you think, Emily? Not bad huh?

I seemed to see her smiling reluctantly.

_"You think she'd be happy? To see you like that?" Nikita later asked me._

_I just shrugged my shoulder._

_"She would never like you hurting yourself in order to remember her."_

_And I shrugged again, "I don't know any better way."_

_"We'll find one." She put her hands on my neck, and said genuinely._

_I touched on her nose and smiled, not really taking her words seriously, because I never wanted to ask her, or count on her, to help me with that. Her saying these words was already a big comfort to me, and I was really grateful._

_But not long later, I knew I'd been wrong. I'd just forgotten that once she gave her word, she would definitely keep it._

_"Hey, daddy, meet Emily!" When we knew our second baby was a girl, she said to me while touching my face, "I said we'll find a better way. Now here it is."_

_I cuddled her into my arms, and held up my head hard, trying to stop the tears dropping onto her shoulder. But I failed it. I'd tried that before, but failed that as well._

I marked all the banks that met the guardian's requirements on the map from north to south. Then after a while, there were circle marks pressing upon each other. And picking only one among all these tons of possible banks? Whoa…I really have something to do now…

And suddenly I realized I seemed to feel a little bit different from just now. How to say it… well…seemed to feel a little back to normal. Maybe couldn't say normal, but at least more like me in the usual time.

I lowered to look at the butterfly on my chest, and frowned. No…it was not like this…I had thought about using this kind of stuff to remember them, but never really wanted to do so. It was the Regimen that drove me to do it.

So, if I got through the headache stage, I would be, like just now, a…monster?

These little pills, they would drive me to carry out those crazy obsessions deep in my heart?

For the first time, I felt sweat streaming down on my back.

For the first time, I realized what was going on here had gone completely out of my control. I could not even control myself.

I stumbled to where I put the Regimen, and took a little bit. What now…?

Here's the Regimen, only this much. If I took it as long as I felt headache, then Regimen out, me done, game over.

I had to save enough pills until I located that guardian, at least knew his approximate location, and found his box with Nikita…and destroy it. I had to go at least that far!

But…did I really want to destroy the box? No! Absolutely no! It was a resource to us that we might take advantage, and we holding it was a threat to Percy.

However Nikita wanted it to be destroyed. Then what if I lost control of myself at that time, when she was about to destroy the box? No…no, no, no…

I couldn't keep thinking this ant more, and I shook my head violently.

Then I went on with my searching work, not sure in which condition I was doing it. When the Regimen started to take effect, my heartbeat would suddenly get disordered, heavier or faster. Sometimes I even felt blood in my throat. But it was just like the main frequency of the computer, when it speeded up, so did my efficiency.

And I was more and more addicted in tattoos. Besides helping me remember, I found it had some other functions, like transferring the pain in my heart to my body. The physical suffering, to some extent, eased my mental feelings. And I thought it made sense, cause after everything I'd done, every pain I'd caused on my victims, it was fair for me to suffer the same. Because of this, I became a frequenter of that tattoo store.

In the beginning, I could still distinguish if I was compelled by the Regimen. But gradually, the line between "human" and "monster" was getting faint, which forced me to pick up my working speed. I had to finish it before I became a complete "monster".

And sometimes, the idea "do not let Nikita down" worked even better on me than the Regimen, to increase my efficiency.

_"Was it necessary?" When Nikita saw these tattoos on me, her face always expressed to me the "why didn't you let me know" meaning, "You know you actually didn't have to…"_

_"Hey," I tipped my head, "I don't think you have the qualification to say this."_

_"Why not?"_

_"You didn't want to let the whole world down, then on what ground you didn't allow others to hold the aim of not to let you down?"_

_Usually, to my such answer, she would respond in three ways:_

_One, "Shut up."_

_Two, cry._

_Three, "Shut up." and cry._

Banks…all possible banks…traffic around…public transportation system…metro station… surrounding buildings were good cover or not…

I ceaselessly gathered the traffic maps and made plane analysis drawings. Then I went every place for field investigation, and excluded those requirements-unmatched banks one by one.

Enfield, not practical…

Barnet, no good for escaping…

Haringey, too far from the metro…

Wooo…I stopped for a while, closed my eyes, raised my head and shook it, trying to shake these "ghosts" out of my head.

OK…

Earling, here's the metro…50 meters…a small square at the back…oh, and the underground passage…perhaps could…well, maybe better to check the satellite signal… Then I threw this map to another pile of maps.

Ouch…Damn it, the heart's squeezing again. You coming huh? Fine, let's see who's faster.

Next one…Hackney…

In London's winter day, I actually had to keep wiping sweat to stop it from coming down into my eyes. Or I was just lying on the floor, not moving a bit for a long long time, but just staring at the ceiling, and breathing rapidly. I could feel the ashes on the floor jumping up and down with the rhythm of my every single heartbeat.

I felt kind of lucky that Nikita wasn't here in London with me. Even the mirror didn't want to reflect me like this, how could I let Nikita see this me? I would not let her see this me, absolutely not, again I didn't know the reason, though.

After three months' map-street-tattoo-scratching-pills cycle, I almost locked on an area where that guardian might be. Then after three times' check…well, three times did not actually mean anything, not for even more times, because Nikita only believed things checked by herself. Yeah, she's bossy like that.

_"I've changed the diaper for Emily this morning."_

_"Really?"_

_"Daniel and I played football for just half an hour, really!"_

_"Oh yeah? I'll check with Daniel."_

_"It is skim milk. I swear."_

_"Swear? Show me the bottle. Don't tell me you've thown it again."_

Camdon…yeah, this was the place.

I prepared and sorted all files I needed to show Nikita, brought some pills that could last for three days, and then took a flight to New York.


	22. Falling Cheer

I was really "high" sitting in the plane and I couldn't even control my expression. In order not to "terrify" people sitting around, I had to keep my eyes looking outside the window, which caused my neck kind of aching after I got off.

I didn't know what I was "high" for, as I was clear even if I'd already found that guardian or even already beaten him down, Nikita would not give any positive comment on me. So I guessed, maybe I was just "high" for being able to see her again.

_"You know, you could have come back at any time during the three months." she said to me later._

_"Oh…yeah." I actually had not thought of this for a bit back there in London. No doubt she again judged me to have only a single thinking mode._

But perhaps it was not that I hadn't thought of coming back, but I hadn't wanted to come back, before I made any breakthrough that she'd been looking forward to. I just didn't think I had any reason to come back to see her before that.

And now, I had sufficient reasons.

I made a direct trip to her place as soon as I got off the plane. And after the fewest steps I could take up along the stairs, I stood outside her house. I heard some sound in it, which told me she was at home now. That's great.

I stood there for a while, carefully arranged my hair and clothes, and then called her name in a pretended peaceful tone, "Nikita."

Then I heard something just like a bunch of clothes being spun at a high speed, quickly followed by another sound which happened exactly when a gun's safety was on.

Without a second's thinking, I grabbed out my gun.

What…

Through what I could see in front of me, I guessed every grown-up, with the even slightest basic common sense, could tell what had just happened in this bed last night, oh maybe plus this morning.

Actually, in a certain level, this was nothing a big deal, but, what went beyond my ken was, the man behind Nikita, as I carefully confirmed again, was Michael, who was exactly the man that had fired a rocket launcher at us in Chile. That was my latest memory about this man. And now, just after three months, he was…he and Nikita, they…

I tried to understand this situation here, but, with my every single nerve and brain cell, I still failed to find a reasonable explanation that could connect these two happenings together. Later I finally was told an explanation, which I actually didn't think to be reasonable at all.

"Wa-wa-wait, wait." Nikita firstly put down her gun and said. It was until she finished her words that I realized what she was saying.

"Drop your gun." Michael said to me.

"Drop yours." I said, not planning to do as he said, because first, I was not gonna listen to anyone but Nikita; second, Nikita hadn't asked me to drop my gun; third, he was the one holding up the gun first, which made him the first one to drop it.

"Owen, what the hell are you doing here?" Nikita stepped in between me and Michael. Good, I couldn't see him then, which meant I regained some of my thinking ability.

"Well, I came to talk to you." I said, and meanwhile realized in what "clothes" she was standing in front of me. Then my poor thinking ability was gone again. "What's he doing here?"

"He's with me." Nikita had a look at Michael.

And because of this move of her, Michael came back into my sight. Just now when he had been blocked by Nikita, I actually had been holding a stupid wish that what I'd seen was just an airy apparition, which was something I'd kept seeing these days. But when I could see him again, his born-to-be-frowning eyebrows reminded me, he was real.

"Both of you, put your weapons down." Nikita said, and then looked at Michael again.

Well, Nikita said it now. But…he was still holding the gun, so I didn't think I'd drop it. As I figured, it was him that was supposed to listen to her "order".

"Down, boys, now." She shouted at us.

Finally Michael put the gun down, so did I.

"I'll ask you again." she stepped closer to me, "What are you doing here?"

"What we talked about." I said, "Find the next black box and the guardian that protects them."

"We talked about that three months ago."

"And…" I was trying to say something.

"And then we talked about the guardian being in London." And she broke in habitually.

"Okay, but I was just there." I got kind of thrilled, like we finally getting to what I wanted to say, "I narrowed the guardian's location to a specific borough."

"The guardian is an agent," Michael finally put on his clothes, and was saying, "whose sole job is to remain invisible, in a haystack of, what, eight million people. And you were able to find out where he was in only three months?"

I just smiled, not responding to him.

First, I was a guardian, and to be blunt, I was Percy's favorite guardian, or…at least, had been. Question like "what a guardian is", no one's having a better answer than me.

Second, that he didn't believe me could locate a guardian within three months only meant he himself couldn't do it, which then meant he sucked, thinking of which I felt kind of unreconciled.

"Michael, please." Nikita said to Michael.

I felt a little better hearing her saying this, cause it meant she believed I could do it.

"Owen, when we talked," Nikita turned to me while putting a blouse on, "we also said that you would call if you found anything. You didn't have to come all the way here."

"Call? Call?" I said in a low voice, cause I didn't want Michael to hear what we were talking about. I didn't trust him, as much as he didn't trust me. "On an unsecure line?" I asked. Actually even on a secure line, I wouldn't call her. Why not? Well, if that way, I'd lose the excuse for me to come to see her, which was just something I'd been expecting for three months.

_"If you'd known what you would see, would you still come?" she asked me once when she got a little drunk._

_I thought for a while and answered, "Yeah."_

Nikita lowered her head, trying to say something. But I guessed there was nothing she could say. If she really wanted to say something, she would just say it, no need to pause by lowering her head or something.

So the best way was that I continued, "Come on, no. Not when I'm so close." I couldn't help raising my voice, and threw a glance at Michael.

Nikita also looked back at him.

"Division's got ears everywhere." I stepped closer to her. Then I saw Michael frowning at me.

"Michael is not Division." Nikita looked at me, "He's on our side now."

"Oh, our side." Michael sounded sarcastic. But I didn't actually care, cause I would probably say the same thing if he didn't say it, in an even worse tone.

"My side." She changed her saying due to Michael's question, which I didn't actually get used to or like about.

"Yeah, I can see that." I subconsciously cast a glance at the bed.

"Shut up." Oh great, she could still say this to me, "Listen to me, both of you. Michael, Owen's gotten us close." she walked to him, "You can bring this home. Get us the name of the guardian."

"I can't." said him.

Oh yeah, I was right. This man sucked. And yeah, I seemed to feel more unreconciled.

"Yes. You have top-level access," said Nikita, "higher than Alex has ever had. You are the break that we've been waiting for. This is how we bring Percy down." she put her hands on his shoulder, almost like pacifying a little kid, which I was also not able to get used to. Hey, shouldn't you just do as she said?

"Okay, while I'm bringing this home, what are you gonna do?" When Michael was saying this, his eyes kept lingering on me.

"We'll be on site, waiting for your call." said Nikita, and then she looked at me, "Once you get us the location of the guardian, we'll strike."

I had to say I only agreed partly with her, the "strike" part; I didn't actually count on him to really get us any valuable information.

"So you're gonna be in London with him?" He was looking at me again, with nothing pleasant in his eyes. I knew what he was thinking about, and hah…I was not sure if I was holding any other thought, but, the fact that he didn't trust Nikita pissed me off a little. Any one doubted her in any matter, I could not be okay with that.

Nikita turned around all at once; apparently she realized the same thing. "That's the only way this works." she said, sounded like an explanation.

"She's bossy like that." I said. I couldn't bear her attitude any more; it was just difficult for me to listen to her talking to others like this. "You learn." I added.

Nikita turned back to me, and in her eyes, I could clearly see her saying, "Why don't you stay out of my business?" Well, my answer was, because you hadn't stayed out of mine.

"I think I know her pretty well." said Michael. I didn't respond to that, but didn't mean I believed him.

"Can I speak to you for a second?" he said, and then walked a few steps away.

Before Nikita followed him over, she had a look at me. And I was actually happy that she was still considering my feelings, so I raised my eyebrows.

I didn't hear what they were talking about, but it was not difficult for me to guess. He kept querying me, and she kept defending me, which seemed to be the most frequent happenings among we three, for a long time hereafter. She insisted on sticking up for me even when I gave up on myself. And if it were not for her, I'd already die in Michael's gun.

And because of this, it seemed that I no longer needed to find any lame excuse for accepting all her ideas and actions without even a second of hesitation or consideration.

My life was saved by her, then of course I should listen to her. In the whole world, only she ever treated my life as something, then of course she was my whole world.

After they finished their talk, Nikita walked past me. And Michael remained his distrustful eyes on me.

"Don't worry. I'll take care of her." I said to him.

I hated to admit, but, when I was saying this, I actually had no certainty of keeping my "promise". And usually I wouldn't say such words in such an occasion, but this time I just couldn't hold it back. Michael's eye expression forced me to say so, which seemed to prove that I didn't like others querying me on Nikita-related matters, either.


	23. London Fog

Sitting in the plane, Nikita would sometimes look out of the window, but apparently, as I could sense, she held a much better mood compared with last time.

And I wasn't taking peeps at her this time, not really knowing why, but…I actually wanted to ask her something and just didn't know how to start.

"How you've been doing?" she turned to me and asked.

"Eh?" I looked at her, "Not bad." and I smiled.

_But later she said she would never believe me again on such questions due to the following happenings in London. And I thought we were even, because I didn't believe her on such questions, either._

"Nice neighborhood." On the way to my safe house after we landed, Nikita said to me.

Usually she wouldn't talk about these non-mission stuffs, not to mention jokes. But she did now, which meant she was really in a good mood.

I always wanted her to be happy; she had a beautiful smile. But…she's happy now, somehow I felt kind of upset. It was like…I envied Michael…

"Keep your head down." I said to her, but not looking at her, "Surveillance cameras everywhere in London."

"You still trying to be the invisible man, huh?" she looked at me and joked.

"Always." answered me, still not looking at her. Actually it didn't really matter if I was visible to other people or not. Speaking of this, it seemed that people that knew my existence all wanted to kill me, except Nikita, who on the contrary was trying to stop them killing me. And with this, what I was still upset for?

So I took a look at her, saying to myself: Hey, cheer up, asshole!

Soon we got to my theatre safe house. "Make yourself at home." I said to her.

"Is that what this is?" she looked around the place.

"What?" I asked, but actually I knew what she meant. This place was so not a decent safe house, at least not decent enough to receive a lady. However this was all I could get.

"Nothing." she said, taking off her gloves.

"This is how I narrowed it down to Camden." I pulled open the worn-out certain, and stepped into the inside room, "A guardian has certain requirements. Easy access to public transportation, proximity to secure vaults, strong satellite signal coverage, and multiple exfil routes. Now that alone eliminated big chunks of the city. After that, it was just about pounding the pavement, scouting out where he'd be, like banks."

"Why banks?" she asked, moving her eyes away from all the stuffs I'd pasted on the windows.

"Guardian protocol." I said, "Rent a safety deposit box, store the black box there."

"And what are these?" she took a step closer to me.

And I turned around with her sight line, seeing the things she was asking about. Oh damn, forgot to put them away before leaving for New York.

"Oh…these?" I looked back at her, "They're my victims."

She was staring at me.

"Each one of these is a reminder of a kill I made while I was at Division." I was staring at her too, "So I never forget why I'm doing this."

It was true. I really needed them to remind me, because I just felt I'd already gone a little out of the original track.

"Doing what?" Nikita asked.

"What you inspired me to do." I answered, and yes, this answer expressed part of my real feelings which I'd seldom expressed. I guessed it was also because of the Regimen. "You don't hide from your sins. No. You kind of just face'em."

"Listen…" she lowered her head, "it's one thing to face your sins, and it's another to let it eat you alive. All this should just be something that helps you focus on what's important." The way she looked at me showed she was worried about something. And I disliked this way, though her eyes were…still beautiful.

"That's what I'm doing." I said, "I'm stopping Percy. That's what's important." she was still looking me like that, so I might as well stop looking at her, "That's why, that's why we got to find this guy."

"Okay." she turned aside, seemed have already made certain that I'd not done something out of bounds. "So your plan was to stake out all the banks in this area, and what? Hope that you would just pick a guardian out of the crowd?" she sounded again like I was telling another stupid plan.

"Guardians are former Cleaners." I sat on the desk, "Well, they all have this…"

"You all kind of have that look." she said. And she was right.

"It's all in the eyes." I said, and saw her looking me in the eyes.

_"You still hate that? What's in my eyes?" I asked her once. _

_"Even more." answered her._

_"Really?" I subconsciously started to wink, trying to show a better face._

_And she smiled._

_"What?" I asked, still winking and wrinkling my eyebrows._

_"Just kidding. No, I don't hate that," she pressed on my eyebrows which I guessed was in a weird angle, "not in the first place." she added._

"Guardians are Division's deadliest agents. We hit harder. We move quicker. We sleep less. And we survive longer. But eventually after time those skills, they…they start to erode." I stood up, "I mean, it's what happens when you take an elite killer and pull him out of the field just to babysit a black box. You're bound to make mistakes, if only out of sheer boredom."

She nodded, and turned around to watch the things on the wall.

"Emily was my mistake." I seemed to smile again, "I fell in love with her and…"

"She wasn't a mistake, Owen." Nikita interrupted me.

_I didn't realize something particular in this sentence at that time; only after a long time did I remember that she'd once said Daniel was the best mistake in her life. So why when I said about the mistake thing, she just contradicted me?_

_Soon, more and more clearly I found a phenomenon in our family, which was also agreed by our two kids: whether a sentence was right or wrong had nothing to do with the content of this sentence, but had all things to do with whether it was dad or mom that said it._

_And to such a position of mine in our family, Daniel showed his full sympathy while he was saying that I was a perfect example._

_When I was having the concern that Daniel might have the same position as mine after he had his own family, and was deciding to talk with him on this topic, he told me, "Don't worry, dad, since you're a perfect example, I'll just do the reverse of what you're doing." Then he tapped on my shoulder, and ran out to the yard playing with Emily._

_Gosh, the Daniels in this world were all so difficult to deal with?_

"Failing to protect her was my mistake." I gazed at her and said. A mistake that I swear to God I'd never make again.

And suddenly, a harsh pain attacked in my head. "Ahh…" I couldn't hold my shout. Damn it, I forgot the time for Regimen. She's gonna see me like this? No…

I squatted myself down, trying to ease the pain.

"Owen?" Nikita walked over to me and put her hand on my shoulder, "Hey, Owen. What's wrong?"

"I just get these headaches." I stood up, "I just forgot what time it is." Then I struggled to where I stored the Regimen.

"What is that?" She followed me.

"It's the Regimen." I hadn't meant to tell her about the Regimen, but on a second though, maybe it could arouse her bigger attention to that guardian, "This is how we Cleaners move faster... hit harder..."

"Sleep less?" she asked.

I didn't answer, but we both knew she was right.

I didn't want Nikita to see me taking the Regimen. Too bad. But if I didn't take it, she would see me worse. So after comparison, I chose to take it. But she after all saw both later. And I thought it was just amazing that she still didn't give up on me after she saw me like that.

_"If it was me, would you give up on me?" she asked me._

_I thought for a while and shivered all of a sudden. Then I held her tightly in my arms._

_"What's wrong?"_

_"So fortunate, it was not you…" I said. Of course I wouldn't give up on her, but…just thinking of that possible scene already caused a violent pain in my heart._

"Valproic acid, Steroids, Dextroamphetamines. It's a metabolic dominance program." I looked at Nikita, and recited what Francis had left me, "Heightens your reflexes, eliminates anxiety."

"Gives you splitting headaches." she picked up my words.

"Only if you don't take it." I put away the Regimen bottles, "You can be sure that our friend has the same sort of edge." I stood up and looked at her in the most serious way I could achieve, "It's why we got to be careful. We're alone in this city. Nikita, it's just you, me, and the Guardian. And he's very dangerous." I put great emphasis on the word "dangerous".

"Consider myself warned." she said. But from her expression, I didn't think she really got my point. Nikita could not defeat me, even when I was in the lack of the Regimen. And the guardian out there, he must have sufficient Regimen. So why I just didn't feel her tensed up?

_"Maybe because it was you that said it. It'll have a 'better' effect if it were someone else."_

_"Why?"_

_"Don't know." She said, "You just can't get me tensed up, not even for a second."_

"What's next?" I asked her, "Can we move?"

"Wait for Michael's call first."

"Hah…you really think…" I didn't finish my words. What I wanted to say was "you really think he can get us helpful information?".

"What?"

"Nothing…so we wait." And I sat back onto the desk.

"You…" she said.

"What?"

"How many times the Regimen caused you headache?"

"Not many. I seldom forgot to take the pills." I smiled at her. And according to what she described, such a smile always whipped up her impulsion to give me a good beat, which actually happened for once.

After a short moment, Nikita's phone rang out.

"Hey Michael, got something?" she picked up the phone and set it hands free.

"The info on the Guardian is on a protected file on Percy's computer. I can't get to that right now. However, I checked the operational expenses for London, and there's an ongoing charge that's not assigned to an active op or agent. It's a shipping container."

"Protocol for a Cleaner in a foreign theater is to establish a storage space." I responded while I heard about the container, "Shipping container's a default option."

"Container A541. It's currently sitting at the port of London." Michael said.

"Not as useless as I thought." I said, and was sure that Michael could hear me cause I wanted him to hear me. I didn't know why I did this, maybe just like Nikita said, I was sometimes like a little kid.

She gave me a "want to do something but can only blame me in silence" look, and walked away from me to continue her Michael-Nikita talk. And I started to sort all files on my desk.

The last sentence I clearly heard Nikita saying was: He doesn't mean it.

Hey, I do mean it!

I wanted to grab her phone and explain to Michael, but I didn't do that anyway.

I thought their little Michael-Nikita talk wouldn't have anything to do with me, but later I knew I'd been wrong. Michael told her something that was supposed to be told by me. But I thought Michael did the right thing, because in this way, Nikita could suffer a lot less from me.

And the reason I didn't tell her those things in the first place, as I guessed, was the same as Michael's: I was in no way to be saved.

I seemed to fear deep in my heart that Nikita would just dump me after knowing everything. I'd actually prepared for that, but I still kind of feared about it finally happening.

_"Idiot…" That's her comment on that thought of mine. Sounds familiar? Yeah, because this is her comment on lots of my stupid thoughts._

I walked to her after I finished sorting.

"We'll call you from the port." She said to the other side of the phone.

I heard a "wait" from it, but Nikita just hung up the phone.


	24. Firework

"Let's go." She said and walked to the door. I quickly caught up with her so that I could take the driver's seat before her.

She every now and then looked at me on the way.

"What?" I asked her.

"Nothing." she answered, and moved her eyes out of the window.

For a moment I felt this was just familiar, only Nikita and I exchanged the roles.

_Later I got to know she'd actually wanted to ask me about the Regimen, about which if there was something that I kept from her. But she didn't ask that after all. She told me, "Since I already said I'd take care of you, it doesn't really matter I know those things or not." And my respond to that was of course a kiss, which was long ago nothing to surprise Daniel who would in a jiffy cover Emily's eyes with his hands._

"We're here." I stopped the car.

It was dark, so we turned on electric torches, and started to check the containers one by one.

"So…" I finally made up my mind to say something, as it was too dark to see the expression on her face, I had an excuse not to think too much, "how long have you and Michael been…" I didn't say that word out.

"Not long." answered her, quickly, and not pissed off, which kind of allowed me to go on asking.

"I'm not sure how you manage to do it. Win over your enemies." I said, and was really curious to know "how".

"Michael was never really the enemy."

"So when he fired that rocket launcher at us in Chile, that was…"

"He was aiming at you." She looked at me and said.

"Oh…heh…" I felt something kind of weird seeing her defending Michael like this, "Jealous type, huh?"

"He's over-protective." she smiled, real happiness in her eyes. And for a second I thought it was nothing bad if that kind of smile could remain in her eyes forever.

"Kind of scrawny." I moved my eyes away from her face, and started to talk more casually.

But Nikita stopped. So I guessed our talk had to end here.

"He's built where it counts. Can we move on?" she said at a fast speed.

"Yeah." and I shut up, though still had lots of things I wanted to figure out. I didn't really know about my motivation, cause I had to admit there actually was something self-concerned. But for most part of reason I wanted to ask about these, was that I wanted that man could really take care of Nikita.

"Here it is." We soon found our container, "A541."

Nikita had a look at me, and I nodded. Then she got out her gun and shot the lock of the container.

We opened its door. Nikita turned on the light, and walked in with her electric torch. I didn't follow her in, as I couldn't be clearer about what was in this container. No need to watch again.

"What is all this stuff?" she asked.

"It's Cleaner equipment." I answered, cannot see her look because she was standing with her back towards me. So I entered the container, pointing at the shelf up there, continuing my introduction, "Hydrofluoric acid." I was telling the names one by one with the move of her eyes, "Carbon steel bone saw. Surgical rib cutters." She touched a white tube, so I said, "That's a blood siphon. Bodies fold better when you drain the blood first."

All those cruelties and sins I'd ever committed all suddenly came forth to me. A person like me, on what ground could he still hold these fanciful hopes and expectations? Thinking of this, I seemed to get a better mood.

"Do you know what a Cleaner does?" I asked her. In a good mood, I seemed to have a lot more things to talk about, though I knew I would actually say nothing pleasant. But I wanted her to know them, which might completely disgust her and make her turn against me. Even so I still wanted her to know. I was not good at hiding things, and now it was just a good chance for me not to.

"Cause it's not just about dissolving the bodies in acid." I continued, and noticed her move slowed down. Maybe she'd realized what I was about to say. "We arrange it so people don't even know the victim was murdered. Nobody. Making it look like a suicide or an accident."

"Owen, please don't." she now completely knew what I wanna say. And I knew it was cruel, telling her all these details. But I wasn't planning to stop, cause I thought, not telling her and just making her guess what had happened on Daniel, was much more cruel.

I leaned on the desk and said, "Like what I did with Daniel." Then I took a cautious look at her who turned aside with a kind of anger. I lowered my head, and went on saying, "I made it look like a boating accident."

I didn't raise my head after saying this, but I knew she must be still looking at me in that way. Maybe it was better. More thoroughly she hated me, easier for me to get rid of all stupid thoughts.

"The people I killed…" I shook my head, "their loved ones will never know the truth."

"That is why we have to stop Division. And to do that, we need to find the Guardian, and his black box." she said. To my big surprise, she seemed not planning to blame me.

_"I couldn't." said her, "I was angry, but...the expression in your eyes…I just couldn't blame you."_

_"That's it?" I never thought there was anything special with my eye expression, but according to her, it seemed to be very genuine. "Hey, I never counted on that to…" I added._

_"I know." she said and tapped on my face._

_Never asking for any forgiveness was just what made me truly genuine. That was her explanation._

_And she knew what I'd like to say next, so she didn't let me; she picked up my words but didn't follow up my meaning. She knew I'd been holding the idea of exposing the content in the black box all the time, and she predicted in her mind that I would probably take action in the state of Regimen-shortage. So she was taking every means to prevent me doing that._

"You're right." I looked at her, "The black box has the answers, about all those people and how they really died. You release that information, and the truth comes out. And the families finally have some peace."

I again misinterpreted her point, as I always did.

_"Owen, do you think Daniel's got a little bit lazy?"_

_"Hey buddy, come boxing with me if you have nothing to do." I said to Daniel._

_"I'm talking about his study, Owen!"_

_"…"_

"That may be true, but you'll be hurting a lot of other people as well. In Chile, all that chaos that happened because one secret was released." She looked at me, or…stared at me, "Imagine if all of them were released at the same time. That's why Percy keeps them. It's his insurance policy. That is why we don't release the contents of the black box. We destroy them."

I knew my face was getting cold, "So Percy wins again?" I almost yelled at her. Because of the Regimen, it was harder for me to control myself on such issues. Though I knew Nikita was not easy to be terrified, I still thought she was terrified this time. Because both of us had subconsciously believed I was the last one that should terrify her. So since then, I was trying hard not to let her ever doubt that again.

I couldn't understand the fact that Percy just pulled himself away from what he'd done, free, and clean.

Nikita held her head down. I knew that, to some extent, she couldn't persuade herself to let him go, either; I knew she was just as furious as I was. But she still wanted to solve this with the least damage, which was something I could never do. With an aim to go, I would just ignore all other factors.

_Oh maybe…this was why Nikita chose to be with me. "What else can I do? I have to watch you, or you will go outside hurting the world; that's irresponsible." she said._

I walked past her and picked a plastic case, throwing it violently into the container. Looking along its track, we both saw something with a red LED indicator.

Nikita walked over there to check. Soon the indicator was off, and we both…oh, maybe she faster, realized what this meant.

"We have to get out of here." she pulled my arm and dragged me out of the container. I didn't remember how many times she'd saved me; all I did know was, it was far more than the number I could ever be afford to pay back for.

We ran out as fast as we could and we kept running until the explosion threw us to the ground.

"I think the Guardian knows we're here." said Nikita.

Before I could respond to her, my head started to ache.

"Are you injured?" she asked.

"No…it's just…"

"It's the regimen, isn't it?" she answered for me.

"Yeah…"

"We have to get you help." she said and helped me stand up. She dragged me to the car, pushed me into the co-driver's cab, and fastened the safety belt for me.

I didn't really want her to drive the car, besides the reasons I'd said above, it was also because here was London. Her driving style would easily bring us into certain people's attention.

"Ah…you…" I said, pressing my head.

"What's wrong?"

"…Nothing…" I'd decided to tell her to drive slower, but I didn't say it out, considering in that way I could only get my Regimen long after the pain stopped, at which time I would definitely lose the control of myself and do something that would hurt her. I was scared of that case.

Much to my relief, when we got back to my safe house, my head was still aching like hell.

**Owwwwww, holy shit! Season 3 renewed! finally announced... I AM SOOOOOOO EXCITED!**


	25. Crash

"Stay here." Nikita supported me into the house, and made me leaning on the desk.

I looked up, and saw her rushing to the floor board under which I was storing my Regimen. She picked all the bottles and rushed back to me.

"Thanks…" I struggled up against the desk, poured all the powder from the bottle and swallowed it. "That's the last of it." I said, kind of reminding myself, too. I gotta hurry, or the next time I went wild, there would be no way to fix it. We had to find and take down that guardian before that.

As for what next after that, I didn't think about it. Seemed that whatever would happen after this shit was done, I didn't really care.

_"Idiot." Nikita threw me such a comment on this thought of mine._

"We'll get you more." she said, "And then we'll find a way to wean you off'em."

Actually I didn't count on that, she helping me get more or wean off. But I just for another time forgot her can-do style. Sorry…

The only thing in my head was to locate the guardian as soon as possible. Considering my headache sweat had already damped my T-shirt, I decided to change it first. I walked past her to my clothes case and took off the wet T-shirt. I knew Nikita was gonna see the tattoos on me, but there was no much time left for me to hide them deliberately.

"Owen, what did you do?" she frowned at me.

"I told you. It's so I don't forget." I explained as briefly.

"Look, I know what you're going through. I feel it too."

I lowered my head to get another T-shirt, trying to put it on quickly.

"Every day." she went on saying, "It's what makes us want to do the right thing, but you can't keep punishing yourself."

When I put the T-shirt on, I saw Nikita's eyes, with a look in it that I'd never forget until now. I didn't know how to describe that look, but…just for that look, I was willing to risk anything for her. Anything was just worthwhile.

"It has to end." she said and looked at me.

I didn't say a word; I was not certain for this, so I couldn't give her my word. Then I let out a slight breath, meantime taking every second to appreciate her eye look.

"We're running out of time." I said to her, stopping looking at her eyes. Also consider this sentence a reminder to myself. "Guardian knows we're here," I walked past her, "which means he called Percy, which means that a Division strike team is on the way."

Right, which meant we were really running out of time.

I stood with my back towards her. Not seeing her might speed up the operation of my brain cells. But later I found it actually with very little effect.

_"Because you can't speed up the operation of something you don't have." She said._

"If you're in his shoes, what do you do?" Nikita asked me.

"First thing I'd do is secure the black box." I wiped off the sweat on my face.

"So he'll be going to the bank. We need to get there first." she said.

When I turned back to her, she was already working on all the files being piled on my desk.

"No, I did a walk-through on all the banks. They're all basically just the same." I said.

"In Montreal, how did you choose your bank?" she stopped to look at me.

"Ah…I don't remember." I just shook my head.

"Owen, I need you to focus. Why that bank?"

Then I lowered my head, starting to search in my memory.

"Close your eyes." she tapped on my shoulder, and made me straighten up, "You're walking into the bank in Montreal for the first time. What do you see?"

I had to say her inspiration did work on me, or…at least for this time.

_"Owen, where did you put the key to the car?"_

_"I don't remember…threw it somewhere when I got back…"_

_"Hah…Close your eyes. You're walking into the house. What do you see?"_

_"…You…"_

"I see three guards," I saw that bank in front of me, "five cameras, time lock vault."

"Tell me about the safety deposit room." I heard her turning maps.

"There were boxes on both sides." I started to walk here and there, "They went from floor to ceiling." Then I opened my eyes, as it didn't affect my thinking anymore, "There was a back door, opened into an alley."

I saw Nikita marking on one map.

"It's better than the parking lot because it provided cover." I said, and saw her marking on another map.

"The alley." I came up with this symbolic factor, and I knew I was too much closer to our target. I stood by the desk, seeing her circling the final answer.

"The Royal Birkham." she said, "On Crowndale."

I took a look at her, kind of admiring. The efficiency was increased by multiple times because of her.

"Let's go." She said, while I was still admiring her.

"Oh." I followed her, and rushed in to the driver's cab.

"I'll drive."

I didn't answer, but directly started the engine.

"It's a little bit far. You're sure you okay with that?"

"Yes." I didn't look at her.

_But what happened next just denied my "big talk"._

_"You are also over self-confident." She said later._

_"Yeah, even worse."_

It was already morning time when we arrived at the bank.

"Stay here." Nikita said to me.

And I just felt it really familiar. Oh right, Chile, three moths ago.

Suddenly I got a little frustrated. I'd thought she would at least change a little after what had happened there, but I was wrong.

_Maybe it was never possible to change her "solo" habit even with my whole life time._

_This was, kind of, our mutual agreement._

_And the only influence this agreement had on us was, I decided to devote my whole life changing this habit of hers._

_"Not mean to burst your bubble, but…you may fail it." said her._

_"My point is 'whole life'." I just shrugged._

"I'm gonna try to talk my way into the safety deposit room, see if we can set up some kind of remote surveillance." Nikita said, planning to walk into the bank.

I didn't even think but just wanted to follow her.

"Hey. Stay here." she said again.

I didn't like this, but since we didn't have much time, I was not against her anymore. I stood by the car, thinking that even if she came across that guardian in the bank, he would not be that stupid to do something in the public place.

I watched Nikita going towards the bank gate, and soon from the back door of the bank, a man caught my attention.

I frowned my eyebrows. His eyes… Maybe guardians were the people knowing pretty well about each other; we were of the same kind after all. And what's in his hand confirmed my guesswork.

Nikita walked past that man who stopped to pay his attention to me, and then…he and I had a mutual agreement as well. In the same second, we started running, both running like hell. So we were of the same kind for true…

He was running with his full strength, so was I chasing him. Only when dealing with a guardian need we get fully stretched. And I guessed, he was just feeling cool as much as I was.

"Owen!" I heard Nikita's voice coming after me. I knew she moved, too.

That man ran around a corner and onto the street, and suddenly turned around to fire at us.

Nikita and I took shelter behind a car. When I heard the gun shot stopped, I wanted to rush out directly. She pulled me back and pushed away from that guardian's muzzle.

Then she held up her gun and shot at him.

I thought for a while and changed my route. I jumped over the stone handrail n the bridge, ran along the way, and jumped onto a car beside him from the nearest spot towards him where he was not able to see me. Then I jumped onto him, taking him down to the ground, during which time I heard the black box falling to the ground.

After we both struggled up, we quickly came to combat. Had to say this guy's got a thing or two, worthy of the name of guardian, I didn't like him though. I got several punches from him, and had a basic comprehension of his capability. No problem. I could win in the end.

Just then a car drove nearer. I caught the time and threw the guardian onto the with an overarm throw. Yeah I was gonna win. When I was just about to give him punches for return, my head started aching sharply.

There was no choice for me but let go of the guardian. And because of the headache, I got kind of blind, kneeing down onto the ground.

When I painfully opened my eyes, only see a gun pointing at me. But I still held up my hands, vainly trying to resist the forthcoming bullet.

Then I heard gunshot, followed by his falling down in front of me. I turned around and saw Nikita coming up to me.

How many times already? Oh forget it. I could never repay her enough anyway.

"Stay down." she said to the guardian.

Hey…you really think he would listen to you? So you just think every guardian's called Owen Elliot?

Nikita kicked away the box beside him, which just gave him a chance to strike back. He nipped her leg with his feet and got her stumbled. Without pause, he pulled Nikita up and constricted her neck, trying to choke her.

I couldn't really tell if my head was still aching or not; either way I would stand up.

I kicked on the guardian's back, forcing him to loose his arms around Nikita's neck. He turned around to me, which was great, cause then I dragged him along across the road, together fell over the handrail, and I pushed him against it, giving him a good punch. After that, I held him up and threw him into the river.

I did can beat him down; but to be honest, if it were not for the fact that he had Nikita's life in his hand, I couldn't make certain I'd have that great strength. It made some sense, the identity Percy had given me. I was a guardian, so I was always gonna go protect something.

I watched that guardian falling into the water, and turned back to see Nikita.

A good fight with him made me forget one important thing: the pain was already gone.

I after all showed her the part of me that was the last one I'd like her to see.

An unsourced but strong force drove me to go get the box, which was exactly something I did next. I rushed back to the box and picked it up.

"Owen, put the box on the ground." I heard Nikita saying behind me, and when I turned around, I saw her holding her gun.

"Why?" Driven by that force, all I was caring about was not to let the box be destroyed.

"I'm gonna shoot it, and we can get out of here." said her, "Come on."

"If you kill the box, then the truth dies with it." I said, with a really scary look as I guessed, "We got to release the truth."

"No. We talked about this, remember?"

"You said it's time this all came to an end." I said. At that time, I only remembered part of what she'd said, the part I was willing to remember.

"Owen, hand it over." She approached me, while my body instinctively defended and fought back against her. Furthermore, still because of the horrible effect of the Regimen, I could hardly control my strength, which resulted in all the crazy following moves. I gave her a rough push, and a car just came over, so Nikita was thrown onto the car by me, hit its top, and then slipped down along the front of car.

I watched her falling onto the ground, stunned, and not knowing what to do. I saw someone getting out of that car, and I had a look at the black box in my hand. My remaining sense told me if Nikita stood up she would definitely come try to grab the box again, in which case I would definitely do some crazier things and definitely hurt her worse. Considering driver here would definitely take care of her, I just ran away.

_Afterwards I asked her if she hated me or not. And she said no. The only thing she'd been concerned about was that I ran away with the desperate need of Regimen, then what if I was in trouble?_

_Till now I am still not sure if this answer is easier for me to accept than the hating me one._

_But Nikita never blamed me on this thing; it was just me myself that thought for sure I did need some punishments. And I did find a suitable way to do it._

_"Hey kid," I watched Daniel breathing rapidly with his body bending down and hands supported on his knees, "that's all you've got?"_

_Daniel looked up at me, wiping away the sweat on his forehead with the boxing glove._

_"Hey, look at the one standing in front you, he once in London put your mom…" Usually when I got to this point, he would immediately finish his "charging" and rushed to me again, sometimes even bringing her "judge" sister together with him._

_Basically, if I didn't hit back, Daniel could really give me several good punches, until…_

_"Your…dad…wasn't intending to…do that!" Nikita pulled Daniel and me apart, sometimes Emily too._

_"I'm about to win, mom!"_

_"Shut up! Half an hour from now, you are in nowhere but the bathroom!"_

_And I was usually lying on the grass, laughing, and watching Nikita carrying the kid back to the house._

_"You have to do this?" she once asked, sitting down beside me on the grass._

_"Anything wrong?" I looked at her, "That's just what happened, isn't it? Hey, this kid's getting more kick-ass you know, will beat me someday, very soon."_

_"Hey, look, I still don't want to tell them about…" Nikita said. She always wanted to keep our kids away from our past. But I didn't want like that. If we didn't tell them these things, then how we explained to them why they had to play outside the house when we got a phone call, why there were never friends visiting us which was just because they only called on us when the kids were not at home thus the kids would never know, and why their fabulous mom would end up with their good-for-nothing dad. Oh, as for the last one, maybe telling them the truth could not explain it either._

_If we had to hide our past, what we were in now could still not be called "life", but another form of "cover"._

_"Actually, we've been quite frank, haven't we?" I smiled, and held her hand into mine._

_She let out a breath and looked at me. I knew that meant she agreed with me._

_"You're not worried that Daniel would probably hate you?" asked her._

_"Hate me? Like the way you do?" I asked back._

_She lifted her hand being held by me, and punched me on my chest._

_And I just let her hand remain on that position, "Don't worry. You know why Daniel insists on taking this training?" I looked up to the sky, "He said, if he is not even as strong as his mother, how he can protect mother and sister?" Then I looked at her. That expression on her face, I liked that._

_"Don't underestimate them. They are the children of Nikita." I said, and slightly squeezed her hand._

_She disengaged her hand from mine, had a touch on my sweaty forehead, and pushed my head to another side so that I could not see her face anymore._

_Usually, she wouldn't give me a clear signal whether I was saying right or wrong, so I could only guess from her reaction. When I was saying something wrong, she reacted violently; when I was saying something right, she reacted…more violently._

_So what about this time?_

_I was not wrong, right?_

_Because it was true. They were the children of Nikita. Only when they were criticized for playing jokes, having fights, or were kept at school for not finishing their homework, they were the children of mine._


	26. After Dark

I ran away with the box, not really knowing where I was heading. Oh maybe…not absolutely didn't know. I was heading wherever just far away from her. She couldn't find me, then I wouldn't hurt her.

But it just turned out that she could find me wherever I was.

I stopped in a small downtown area I'd never been in. And later I got to know during this time, Nikita went back to my safe house and met that Michael guy. I guessed she again defended and saved me for several times from Michael.

I walked into a café with Wi-Fi, turned on the computer and decided to upload the data in the black box.

The box was encrypted with guardian's blood, and I knew Percy wouldn't be so stupid and allowed my blood to work on a box which was not my asset, but I still wanted to have a try. And to be honest, I treasured every possible chance to humiliate Percy.

But…apparently not this one.

My blood couldn't decrypt box. Seemed I had to find the one I'd thrown to the river. Couldn't die that easily huh? Or I should really really question Percy on the guardian picking standard. Oh and, maybe I then had another chance to humiliate Percy.

I looked around the café, and saw a high school student putting his laptop in his bag beside him. I walked over, and… Hey buddy, how about lending your laptop to me? Thanks buddy.

I left the café with the "borrowed" laptop. Next step was to find that guardian, who I guessed was also looking for me. So, maybe we could save some time for each other.

How to reach him? Oh right, through a person we both knew, Percy.

I got to a relatively open place, with little people, thus there would be no victim of what was going to happen. It was an empty church. Then I called Percy.

"Percy." he picked up the phone quickly.

"Guardian Canada one." I named myself, with the title he couldn't be more familiar.

"Not anymore you're not." he said. And I believed he already asked some guy beside him to track my signal, a guy who's never gonna step away from the computer except when he was sleeping.

"Don't you want to know if the package is secure?" I asked.

"Perhaps you should return it."

"I've got other plans." said me.

"And what might those plans be?"

"I'm gonna open the box. No more secrets."

"Why would you do that?"

"Because it'll bring some light into the world, 'cause it will bring peace to the innocent. And because it'll hurt you." I said, stepping on the stairs of the church.

You already located me right, human-computer?

I threw the cell-phone and entered the church. Soon, all Division agents in London should be here surrounding me under Percy's command, including that guardian. And according to what I'd learnt about the situation of field agents in Montreal, I figured there should come 4 to 5 agents this time. I could handle that. All I needed to was waiting here, for the guardian's coming with his little "classmates".

I took a seat on the second floor of the church. Due to the Regimen, my heartbeat was a little bit disordered. I closed my eyes, trying to regain some strength. But I failed. I closed my eyes, and saw what had just happened, what I had just done to Nikita, and I couldn't keep my eyes closed anymore.

I'm sorry…

I lowered my head, feeling it all in a mess.

_Till now, when I think of her, my head is just like a mess._

_"Your head? In a mess? Really?" she once said, "So, that one-brain-cell head of yours, is in a mess? Wow, how do you ever mess it?"_

_"Like this." I answered, and kissed her forehead._

_"Daniel…" I heard Emily's voice behind, "maybe you can lift your hands a little higher…"_

Not long after, I heard the church bell ringing and the gate was opened. Not bad, they made it quick.

I watched them coming into the church. There were four of them, the guardian's in. Great.

I took the cover beside the pillar, watching them moving to the front area of the church, and planning to take them down one by one. I didn't bring a gun with me, as I'd considered I would probably hurt Nikita when I lost control because the lack of Regimen.

Confirming that I wasn't hiding on the stage, the guardian gave the other three a gesture, and they headed back in three paths. Good, the one taking the right stairs, let's start with you.

He held his gun, stepping along the pillar and getting to the behind of it, and I jumped out at his back. The music in the church perfectly covered me. In a second, I seized his gun, took it over, and beat him down. His loud shout attracted the attention of the other three.

Great, warm-up over, now show time.

I kicked away the dead one, and rushed to the downstairs. The one nearest to me was quickly taken down by me, and with the gun I took from him, I shot at another one. Then I grabbed him in front of me as a shield, shouting, and approaching the guardian. The guardian kept shooting at me, but my "shield" received all the bullets, until the guardian's bullets were out.

Thanks buddy. I threw my "shield" aside.

Now, me and the guardian, only two of us in the church.

After several rounds we fought, I still thought fighting with him could help exploit my whole strength. I'd been worried that maybe I would get rusty living a long time without a well-matched adversary. Now it was proved that I'd been over-worried.

"Give me the box." he said, when we were in a face-off.

"Give me your blood." I said back. If he did as I said, I had no need to kill him.

"You're gonna die for no reason." he said.

"No reason you'd understand." I somehow smiled, actually I myself didn't really understand.

But apparently I'd hit it.

The guardian suddenly attacked me with a swift kick, and then we two were twisted with each other and rolling onto the ground. Soon he pressed me tightly, and I hooked his neck with my legs.

Then we waited, see who was the first one running out his energy. No way to be me, of course.

Some seconds passed, and I heard a crack on his neck. I knew it was over.

Letting go of his dead body, I lay on the ground, gasping for breath. I found I didn't have much energy left either.

_And I thought afterwards, if only Nikita found me at this time._

I only spent a few seconds to rest, then I got up, open the laptop and the black box. I pressed the guardian's finger on the blood collection access.

Identification confirmed.

I decrypted the box. All I needed to do next was just manual: search the Wi-Fi signal.

Just then I heard the gate being opened. I raised my head…shit, I should've sealed the gate…

"Owen, we can get you the Regimen." Nikita stepped up to me ahead of the man coming with her, who seemed to know only one way to say hi, that is holding up his gun.

Nikita now and then turned around and took a look at Michael.

What the hell was he doing here? Oh right, Percy must've called him, too.

Hey Michael, why don't you just come alone and put a bullet in my head? What you brought her together for?

Nikita was standing between me and Michael, obstructing his view of aiming at me with his gun. Not many people deserved her standing at that position, me excluded, undoubtedly.

"I don't need it." I said, looking at her. She was almost taking up Michael's whole fire range. "Not anymore." I added. I had a general idea what was gonna happen after I uploaded the data. But I didn't care. As for Nikita, that gun-man would take care of her.

"You do this, people will get hurt." she said. If I was the one that had been thrown onto a car by an absolute asshole, I could never ever talk with that asshole in such an expression and tone like Nikita did now.

"There's always pain before you get better." I said, "It's how we heal."

She didn't answer me. Because this was just what she'd said to me, or maybe someone else, too.

"Get out of my line of fire." Michael started to talk. But Nikita didn't move at all, so he himself did, showing his muzzle to me.

Nikita moved a step, along with Michael's, and blocked his view again. She was still looking at me, "Owen, please."

No one deserved her standing at that position for twice.

_"Well…if you have to say so, then just treat yourself as a monster. Because that's how I saw you at that time." she said._

"This is how we will remember Emily…" said me.

"Nikita, move." that's Michael.

"…and Daniel…" I kept saying.

And Nikita didn't move. It was the third time already. Even a monster didn't deserve this.

"…and everybody else."

Nikita just stood there and looked at me.

_She later said she had been trying to figure out a proper way, to stop me doing stupid things without hurting me much. It was just me that had been setting obstacles, with everything I'd said to her, which messed up her head._

_There was a moment, she said, she did want everything to be done like this._

_"I've been holding these thoughts, will you…think that…I'm not that good?" she asked me with her eyes looking out of the window. Talking about such topics, she always was not used to looking at me. Sometimes I turned her head to me, while more times I walked up and faced her myself._

_"What? Hey, you know, it's weird, you share the same thoughts with me!" I answered. And she pushed me away with a big smile._

_"Oh by the way…" I scratched my head._

_"What?"_

_"Actually, I never thought about things like how good you are…" Fine, I was not used to looking at her on such topics, "I can't even imagine how good you are…so, whatever, all I know is, you are the best."_

_"Idiot…" she smiled, moved her head to my neck, and lifted my chin with her forehead._

The laptop finished signal searching. It's almost done.

Nikita kind of didn't know what to do, but just looked at me. How amazing the Regimen was. I didn't even feel my heart aching while looking at such an expression of Nikita.

Then I started to upload the data, until…

"Bang!"

I turned around, only to see the black box was no longer where it should be. And on the stairs, I saw the box, in pieces.

"No! No!" I yelled at Michael, the only remained mind gone with the smash of the box. Though I had to admit he did the right thing.

I rushed at him like a maniac. He was aiming at me, but I didn't care a shit. I didn't even know what I wanted to do, but just rushed at him.

"Michael, don't!" Nikita again appeared in the middle.

Do not do that again! I pushed her away, and shoved Michael to the ground. But soon Nikita's punch fell on me. I stroke back out of self-defense, and Nikita apparently was no match for me and soon lost much of her force. Michael then came up again, attacking me from another side.

After several rounds like this, I was kicked off by Michael and kneed down on the ground. Before I got up and planned to beat back, Nikita added another hit on me.

Then I did the most stupid thing, oh at least I wished it was the most stupid, in my life. I held her up, and cast her onto a table beside. The table cracked down due to my crazy move.

_Oh, speaking of this, it seemed to be the first time I held her up, bought me back to the first time I'd held her hand…_

_"So…we do have very special anniversaries of such events." said her._

_After we lived together, I would now and then hold he up all of a sudden. I just wanted to make sure, after that stupid fight in London, she would not be scared of being held up again like that. At least, that was what I wanted to make sure in the first place._

_"Owen, stop. I told you I'm not scared! How many more times I have to say that? You being so stupid!"_

_"…"_

_"Owen, let me down. I'm gonna go prepare the dinner."_

_"…"_

_"Owen, you don't wanna make sure of anything?"_

_"…"_

"Hey!" Michael was pointing at me again.

It was kind of a kick to me. I forgot about Nikita, turned back and rushed at Michael.

Then I had a hunch, he was gonna shoot.

"No!" Nikita shouted at him, still lying on the ground, in the middle of the smashed wood boards and sticks.

She still didn't give up on me when I already gave up on myself. Why?

_"I'll ask you again, would you give up on me?"_

_"Of course not." I shook my head._

_"Then what are you still bothering for?" she frowned._

_"Because…I just think you and I…are different." I frowned too._

_"Hah…" she tipped her head, "We are different. You are an idiot, and I'm not." Then she tapped on my face._

_"Oh!" A light suddenly broke in upon me. She was always good at simplifying matters to an extent I could easily understand._

I fought with Michael for several rounds, and was hit by his gunstock on my forehead. With a fit of pain and dizziness, I then was stumbled down to the ground. Through the direction I knew it was Nikita.

I passed out, not knowing what happened after that.

_As she told me afterwards, I had been lying on the ground, with my heart beating like a drum in Heavy Metal. Oh actually that was not how she described it; that was what I concluded from her description, and she gave me a heavy punch for that._

_I guessed Nikita sent Michael to get that guardian's Regimen for me, and she herself brought me back to my safe house._

_She said my condition helped her make up mind to take me back along with her. "You've been in a cold sweat," she said, "sometimes shivering."_

_And I guessed, she would probably tenderly caress my forehead with her hand, and kept talking to me, "That's okay, that's okay…" just like how she kept talking to Daniel or Emily when they got sick. So maybe, to me, passing out for once or twice, was actually a big luck. Nikita gave me anther punch for this "stupid" thought of mine._

_My condition also made Nikita really want to beat me to a pulp after I woke up. Because I hadn't told her what she was supposed to know, what she thought was not supposed to be taken by me alone. But I just thought it was easier for me to take it alone than with Nikita, which brought me another punch from her._

_"If this way, I think there are a lot of things I shouldn't let you know either." she said to me, folding her arms on her chest._

_"Of course there aren't." answered me._

_"Why not? I don't see any difference."_

_"I'm an idiot, you're not. That's the difference." I shrugged my shoulder._

"Hey." that was the first syllable I heard when I sobered up.

I didn't open my eyes, but turned my head to where this syllable came from.

"Have you noticed that I end up your nurse a lot? You're unconscious half the time we're together." I slowly opened up my eyes, and saw her sitting in the chair. Oh, nurses nowadays all looked like this?

I bent my arms with my elbows against the bed, trying to sit up. But I felt a strong dizziness, having no strength at all.

"Easy. Easy. Easy." she walked over and held my arm, "I've been crushing your pills, giving them to you intravenously, so the dosages might be a little off."

I managed to sit up with her help, not really caring about the dosage. All I was concerned about was that I could not let her see me like this, not any more.

I raised my head, and saw four full bottles on the desk. "My pills?" asked me.

"Yeah. Michael recovered them from the Guardian's safe house." she picked up one bottle, and handed it to me, "About a half-year supply."

"Thanks." I looked at the pills. I was thanking Michael, but actually, I wanted to thank Nikita more.

"We got to get out of here." Nikita stood up and put on her coat, "Michael's covering for us, but this place may no longer be safe."

I rose up with my full strength, "Sounds like I owe him." I didn't know why I felt I owed him, maybe because he hadn't shot me, maybe because he was covering for us, or maybe…because he allowed her to stay here taking care of me.

Nikita arranged her hair and looked at me again, "You can thank him when we get home."

I was, for a while, kind of absent-minded. I had never thought of going back with her, and the seconds' long absence of my mind made it more certain that I was not likely to go back with her.

"You're gonna have to thank him for me." I said.

She stopped and turned around, staring at me with a sort of puzzled expression in her eyes. I guessed no one had ever rejected such an invitation of hers.

"I'm not going with you." I shook my head.

"What are you talking about?"

"I think I need to find some answers." I said to her, very seriously.

"Owen, this isn't something you have to go through on your own."

"Yeah." I nodded, and smiled out of something that suddenly came forth in my mind, "Yeah, it is. There are some things I have to do by myself." I lowered to look at the bottle in my hand, "Find a way to get off this Regimen for one. And…figure out if I'm ready to start making up for the things I've done."

Since uploading the data was proved to be a bad way, I had to find another. Maybe Nikita's idea could work, destroy all the black boxes. I could work on that before I came up with a new idea. And I thought Michael would get away from Division sooner or later, then they didn't need to be in this fight any longer. By then, just take her away, Michael.

I watched Nikita's face, together with the thinking of Nikita's getting out of this, I seemed to feel joyful. But…not exactly joyful…well, forget it…

"Until then, I could be no help to you or anybody else." I said.

This time's partnering job already proved enough. I didn't want to be the possible hazard to her, which was one of the reasons I wouldn't go back with her. She was not supposed to bring back another person to look after.

Undoubtedly, there was another reason, which was also another thing I wanted to figure out. Why would I be absent-minded just now? And if there were no Michael, would I just say yes and go back with her?

"You know where I'll be." said Nikita, and turned around, ready to go.

Yes I did, but…I didn't think I would go there anymore. I didn't think I wanted to find her there anymore. It was time for Nikita to start a new life.

"Eh…Nikita..." I called her before she left.

She stopped and turned around.

Thinking it probably was the last time I could see her, I guessed there was something I needed to say. I took a pause, making sure it now was the right time to say it out, making sure I'd got the qualification to say it out.

"I…never apologized…for Daniel."

She reacted exactly like every time she heard the name.

"I'm sorry…" I looked at her, most genuinely ever.

Nikita was blinking her eyes, to stop the tears gushing out.

Sometimes, just crying out might be better for her, so I said again, "I'm sorry…"

And Nikita couldn't hold the tears anymore. She nodded slightly to accept my apology. Then she walked up to me, and flung her arms around my neck.

I closed my eyes, feeling the hug from her, a hug I hadn't even expected. Her tears were streaming down along my neck, the warmth there made me believe one thing. Daniel, you were right, you were a fucking lucky guy.

"Take care of yourself, okay?" Nikita lightly touched my head.

But I didn't give my answer. I couldn't, because this was something I was not able to promise.


	27. Interview

I watched her leaving my safe house.

Take care of yourself, okay? Oh no, let Michael take care of you, okay?

Then I moved my eyes back to the Regimen in my hands. Time to get rid of it. I had to get rid of it. And I had to do it now.

Nikita was right. This place was no longer safe; I needed to leave here first.

Drawing back the curtain, I was surprised to see that my clothes were hanging on a rope, tidily, in order. It must be her that had them washed. I looked at my body, and remembered in church I'd been wearing some other clothes. Thinking of the effort Nikita might have made in order to clean me up during the period I passed out, I guessed she would rather deal with a crazy but at least awake me.

I enjoyed watching these clothes for a while, and packed them up. Then I collected all files on the desk, got out my remaining money from under a floor board. And I realized there was actually no need to keep them so well, considering the really small quantity.

After that, I sat down on the floor.

Here came the problem. What was I gonna do next? I needed weapon, I needed resources…oh simply, I needed money.

But where could I get that money?

Every time such problem came to me, I would hear Francis saying to me, "You are just a nobody without Division."

Hah, Francis, you're good, you're really good. No wonder you survived in Gogol that long…Wait, Gogol…

I got an idea.

I jumped up from the floor, packed everything into my bag, and rushed out of the theater all the way to a motel. I turned on my laptop, played the disc Francis had left me, and look through the information in it as quickly as I could.

OK…got it. Gogol's contact.

Thanks buddy.

Taking a deep breath, I dialed the number. Soon, there came a weird record talking about some toy corporation, then I knew it was the right number.

"Good evening, Mr. Working-for- Gogol. My name is Owen Elliot. I know you are googling it now, but the result might surprise you a little. Well, you know, it's just Percy. I know Percy well, oh by the way, I'm not working for him anymore. I guess there is an Ari Tasarov in you that may be interested in something about Percy. Maybe we can have an interesting talk. Tomorrow night, 9 p.m., Decembrists Square in St. Petersburg, I'll come alone, unarmed. Oh, right, tell Ari send just one man to meet me, or...anyway I'll make it one back."

Then I hung up the phone, and took the earliest flight to St. Petersburg.

I firstly picked a place for dinner after I landed. I knew Ari would no way just send one man to me; I'd mentioned that only to declare my initiative in this meeting, and in the possibly-coming long-term business with Gogol. If I failed to have my requirements satisfied this time, things would not be very pretty to me in the following.

In order to deal with those "extra" players, I needed to supply myself the best. I knew some about Gogol, there should be nothing to worry about handling them. Maybe the only thing that mattered to me was that I had to stain my clothes Nikita had just cleaned for me.

Thinking of Nikita, I couldn't help smiling. Then I quickly held the smile back before someone else noticed me.

8:55 p.m., I arrived at our meeting place. Five minutes later, a van stopped right beside me.

One, two, three, four.

I counted the men getting out of the van, and tipped my head, waiting for a second, confirming that only 4 people came.

OK. Now time to choose which one to leave alive to Ari.

A big guy came to me first.

Oh well, you will not be that lucky one.

"Any one of you is called Ari?" asked me.

No answering, but a punch flying to my belly. I stopped his fist, one step closer to him and lifted my leg, hitting his belly sharply with my knee. Once he bent down, I grabbed his gun from his belt. Before the other three got ready, I shot to one of them randomly over this one's shoulder. Without pause, I picked up his collar, making his body right in front of me to take all bullets from the rest two men. Oh great it was a big guy that had came to me first, perfect shield.

From the change of the sound over there, I could tell one of them was planning to fire at me from one side. Stupid move! I shot him down the second he appeared in my sight.

OK, only one man left now. I stepped slowly close to him, still with the body shield. That man stopped shooting. As I guessed, he was either out or was about to reload bullets. And we were close enough. So I pushed down my shield, stepped onto his belly, and kicked off the last one's gun.

I pointed at him with my gun and said, "Hey, today is your lucky day."

"OK," I kept on, "from now on, keep yourself within 2 meters away from my gunpoint, or you'll wish you are the one of them lying there."

"What do you want?" asked him.

"Take me to Ari." I said, "That's not what you're ordered?"

"I'm ordered to knock you down and bring you back on the trunk."

"Oh well, then you need to adjust your plan."

"Kill me." said him.

"What?"

"I bring you back, Ari kills me. So kill me now."

"Why? Because I'll know the way to one of his place?"

He nodded.

"Hah…well, you know what, I'm not really interested in that. I could just let him to meet me when necessary." I said, and had a look at the three men on the ground, and their van. "OK. Now do as I say." I tipped my head to the place that biggest buy was lying, "Throw him into the van, back seat."

After he did it, I maintained my gun against his back, the other hand pulling up another man from the ground. "Open the co-driver's door." I said. He opened it, and I stuffed the man in the cabin.

Then I turned back to him, "Go sit in the driver's. Block the co-driver's window with that guy." I watched him settle down, and sat in the back seat, closed the door.

I pointed against his head and said, "Lift him higher. I can still see outside. You don't wanna live?" He then adjusted that man's position to block the window completely. And I raised one of my legs, pressing the biggest guy beside me against the window of his side, then I lay down with my back against the window of my side, with left arm lifting, still pointing the gun at the driver. "OK. Now I'm blind to the outside. Drive."

After about one hour, he stopped the car.

"Are we here?" asked me.

"Yes."

"Then give me an eyepatch and lead me in." I said, throwing my gun to his seat.

"What?" he apparently could hardly understand my act.

"Do as I said. You still wanna live, right? So I am not supposed to know what Ari's place looks like." I said, "I promised him to leave him one man. I need keep it."

"You are not afraid of being killed on half way?" he turned around and asked me.

"If so…" I shrugged, "there are all your people in there, too many for me to deal with, doesn't really matter I can see them or not."

"You are insane." he shook his head and passed me an eyepatch.

_"You are insane." Nikita said to me, hearing me telling her how I'd met Ari. And she rubbed my nose with her forefinger._

"We are in." he said.

I took off the eyepatch, and saw Ari in front of me, with four armed Gogol agents behind him.

"Mr. Elliot?" said him.

"Yes." answered me.

"You said you're from Division but…I am not sure of it." he was smiling, as detestable as Percy.

"The van out there and the two bodies in it may help you make sure." I said, "And, I know you, which also can help, cause you are not that famous to be known by everyone out of this underground world."

He snirted, leaning his hands against the table, "Well then…you came here, for…"

"Business. With you." said me.

"Oh Mr. Elliot, since you just killed three of my men, I guess this business must be very fair."

"I didn't kill them. You did."

He wrinkled up his forehead, but was still smiling.

"I told you in the phone, only one man came."

"But I don't remember I agreed."

"But you didn't disagree, which, according to some certain communication protocol, meant acceptance. Oh, if you think it's not reasonable, maybe you can consider changing your contact method."

"Hahhh…" Ari laughed out, "I like your style, Mr. Elliot."

"If that may help with our business, well, thanks." I said.

"You're same as this in Division?"

"Worse."

"Heh…" he nodded, "then I guess I'll go straight. What business you are looking for?"

"You give me money, weapons, and search system; I help you take down Percy."

"Hahhh…" he laughed again, kind of suspicious.

"You don't believe me?"

"No no no." he waved his hand, "You just remind me of another person, gone rogue from Division, just like you."

"Who?"

"Nikita." he said, and stopped for a second. I knew he was watching my expression, and I also knew my expression changed slightly. "You know her?" he asked.

"Of course I do." I said, "The whole Division knows her." I didn't want Ari to know my relationship with Nikita.

"Because Percy put to use the whole Division force chasing her?"

"Because she is the best." I interrupted him.

"Hehhh…" he smiled and nodded his head, "you and Nikita, you have the same goal."

I didn't answer him immediately. I knew his point; he was wondering if Nikita and I were working together. And from his tone, I could tell that there had been something happening between Nikita and Gogol after Nikita's rogue, something no way to be pleasant.

"People walking away from Division perhaps all share the same goal." I said.

Ari narrowed his eyes and looked at me. Maybe he could not get something useful from my words, so he changed the subject, "Let's talk about your plan, taking down Percy. Tell me, how you're gonna do it?"

"Phase one, destroy his secrecy system; phase two, kill him." I said.

"His secrecy system?" he is getting a little serious, "What do you mean?"

"Percy's keeping all the information of what he's done in a kind of black box. There are 7 of them, oh 5 left now. One in Percy's hand, the others all over the world, each watched by a sort of agent called Guardian. The black boxes are Percy's leverage against everyone; they are his lifeline."

"Mr. Elliot, what makes you think Gogol will be interested in these boxes?" asked Ari.

"If Percy dies, or he gives some orders, the information in those black boxes will be uploaded to the most influential news websites in this world. Let me guess, Gogol must have done some businesses with Division that you hope had better be buried underground forever."

"Heh…" Ari smiled, "and what makes you believe you can destroy the boxes?"

"Because I am the one that knows the boxes best, and their guardians. And, I can take down them."

"Why?"

"Because I am a guardian, Percy's favorite." I tipped my head, "Oh, was."

"Oh?" Ari was getting interested, "Then where's your box?"

"Destroyed." I told him the truth. I was not good at lying, and I couldn't lie about this.

"Destroyed? By who?"

I didn't answer him.

"Nikita?"

I was still not answering.

"Hehhh…" Ari smiled, "So it was. Are you working with Nikita?"

I kept on not answering.

"How much do you know about her?"

"Just a name." I wanted to put an end to this topic, "She has nothing to do with today's business. You better leave her alone." I knew this sentence revealed to Ari something, but I had to say it, like many times hereafter.

"You are not good at lying." Ari said, smiling.

"I'm not lying."

It was true. I was not lying. Nikita might not live this kind of life any more, so this business did have nothing to do with her. And, except for a name, I barely knew nothing about her, her family name, her age, her birthday.

_Oh, speaking of birthday, it was all a different date in her different identification files, and neither of us knew which one was real. Maybe none of them was real. So we didn't really know which day should be the one to celebrate._

_"How about we celebrate every day?" I shrugged, "Anyhow we'll celebrate the right day."_

_Nikita laughed and lowered her head to rub against my chest._

"Mr. Elliot, you don't think Gogol can find the black boxes, with our own resource?" Ari was playing his pen on the table.

"No."

"Why?"

"You are way too unprofessional." I shook my head, "You don't know the way guardians move, or where they'll be. To you, guardians are just like everyone else in this world, just ordinary people."

"So…" he was still playing that pen, with his head lowering, only raised his eyes to peep at me, "you said there are only 5 black boxes left, besides yours, should be another one that was destroyed?"

"Yes."

"Who did it? You? And Nikita?"

I didn't say anything but looked at Ari with my head tipping to one side.

Ari stopped playing and pressed the pen onto the table. He set his chair right straight to me, and said, "Tell me if I can understand this way, Mr. Elliot. You and Nikita will destroy those black boxes anyway, no matter Gogol accept this business or not."

"Heh…" I smiled, "number one, Nikita is not doing this anymore; she will not go hunting the rest of the boxes." At least that was what I hoped.

"Why not?" Ari frowned a smile, "What made her change?"

"You know, according to some certain communication protocol, Nikita and I only talks about result, not process."

"OK. Can you make sure of that?"

"Absolutely."

"Well…what about the number two?"

"If I don't work with you, when I find the boxes, I'm not sure whether I will do something before I destroy them. Maybe…upload some interesting stuffs."

A murderous look sparkled in Ari's eyes, "Mr. Elliot, I don't think threat is anything good to our business."

I knew once he said this, in any time following the big guys standing behind him would get a chance to practice their marksmanship, and very possibly, some of them would get great progress by putting some bullets in me.

"I'm not done yet." I lowered my head, looking at Ari the way he was looking at me, "Number three, the black box is known to more and more people out there. I'm not sure if I'm the only one looking for them, but I'm sure, if I do this, I'll be the only one getting them." I raised my eyebrows, "I'm gonna destroy the boxes, but what do you think about the other people?"

"Tell me your detailed plan." said Ari.

I knew I'd got a deal.

"I will track Division and any Division-related information. I know well about their plays, and I'll dig into them, one by one. Percy needs to update his boxes regularly; he'll send the data to guardians, and that, is my chance to get to each one of them."

"Then what? How are you planning to reach them?"

I curled my lips and said, "That part, is called the business secret."

"I cannot hear any guarantee in your plan." said him.

"Time."

"What does that mean?"

"Six months from now, I'll get the third box." I said, not really confident, but my Regimen only gave me that much time. After six months, if I still could not find a guardian and get his box, there was nothing waiting for me but death. The only concern was, who's gonna be the one that would take my life away.

_"You didn't ever think for a bit that you could come to me?" Nikita was kind of blaming me after hearing my "concern"._

_"Oh um…I did forget the possibility that I might die in your hand." I said, with a making-Nikita-really-really-really-want-to-beat-me face._

_"Oh yeah?" she clenched her fist, "Maybe you won't forget since today."_

"Six months?" asked Ari.

"Yes."

"What if you fail?"

I shrugged my shoulder, "Never thought about that."

"Sorry?"

"I guess you never thought about that either, right?" I looked at him, "We both know what will happen if I fail." My eyes then traveled over those bid guys.

"Hehhh…alright, what do you need?"

"First, something general. I will make a list to you, money and guns I'm used to, and computer model to my taste."

"Did I just hear 'general'?"

"Yeah, because I also need something special." I picked out one pill, "This."

"What is this?" Ari asked, and let a man get the pill to him.

"Regimen." I said, "A special drug Percy's made for guardians, to better cultivate their potentials."

"I guess this is also in your daily recipe, Mr. Elliot."

"Right." I nodded, "But recently I am considering removing it."

"And why's that?"

"Keep diet." I said, "Seems people nowadays don't like me in this build."

_"Oh people don't like you in any build." commented Nikita._

"And it's not going well?"

"It's not. Such process is always not comfortable."

"So…"

"Every guardian has this Regimen. If I can find its full prescription from any one of them, I give it to you, and you give me the antidote, no side effect. That's it."

"That's it? That's all you want?"

"You hear me."

"OK, Mr. Elliot." Ari stood up and walked up to me until a half step close. He took a look at his watch, "Guess this is the fastest negotiation ever for a business."

He reached out his hand to me, so did I, and we shook hands with each other.

"Hope you maintain this efficiency, in our future cooperation." said Ari.

"Better than that." said me.


	28. Safe House

Having finished the "interview" with Ari, I walked out of his office, still with the eyepatch.

"So, where we're heading this time?" it was still the guy who'd brought me in.

"Pick a hotel and drop me." I said, sitting into the back seat, and put on the eyepatch again, "wake me up when we arrive." Then I lay myself down with a comfortable posture, and closed my eyes.

I didn't know how much time had passed when I heard him calling me, "Hey, we're here."

I took off the eyepatch and said, "Thanks."

"Not at all." said him, "You saved my life, and displayed an awesome show as a bonus."

I smiled, entered the hotel. After checking in, I went to my room and sat on the bed. Next, I needed to find a proper place as my safe house. I was no longer a guardian; this was Gogol's territory, so no worries about Percy's tracking. Then maybe I could change the primary rule on choosing a safe house. But to what…?

I lay down on the bed, planning to have a good consideration. No ready rules was sometimes a real hassle, especially to me.

_While Nikita was just good at setting rules, which was perfect, well…to some extent perfect. Because there always existed exceptions:_

_"Owen, only a half hour you play with Daniel. He's got homework to finish."_

_"Owen, Emily must sleep for at least 10 hours."_

_"Owen, stop bringing home these weird, eccentric, weird things. I don't care who you bought them for."_

Failing to figure out some rules to follow, I gradually lost my concentration. Then I thought of what had happened in London. When Nikita got to my safe house there, she said "is that what this is", and I asked "what", she answered "nothing".

I sat up, seeming to realize what rule it should be: a good place to attend Nikita.

Although I knew I was not really likely to see her again, and I was not planning to tell her my recent condition, somehow I was still holding some sort of fluky fancy that someday Nikita would probably stop by.

I turned on my laptop, starting to search every possible house that might meet "Nikita's taste" requirement. And I tried hard to recall in my mind what her own house looked like, depending on the only expression left on me when I had been staying there.

Windows…right, maybe I should pick a place with a good view…

OK, with the first requirement confirmed, I could filter the houses.

Then what? Damn, had known what I need to do now, I should have stayed in her house for a longer time.

_"Oh I do remember someone left my house without even saying a 'goodbye'. Who was that?" Nikita teased me._

There were for sure problems coming out if I didn't do as she said, problems I even couldn't see right away.

Ah…yeah, veggie shake! Yeah, should have a perfect kitchen. Done…

What else…?

Rooms should be clean…bathroom and something, hmm, convenient…Almost…

Oh, this one by river looks good.

Ah right, need a bed, comfortable bed. Oh if she stops by…yeah, better get a couch.

Her house seems to be dark…well, let's get more lamps…

Do I miss something? I think so but…what is it?

I lay down again and dug deep into my brain, thinking what I'd missed.

That day…we were talking, then she went away to answer the call, and she walked back…Oh! Clothes! Right, she needs a big enough wardrobe for her clothes. And…a big mirror as well? Yeah, that's it!

After confirming all these requirements, I thought I got a mission to cover recently. It was just…I maybe didn't have that chance to know if this mission finally succeeded or not. At least, I thought so at that moment.

_"It's not really like a safe house, you know." Nikita later told me._

_"Then what's it like?" asked me._

_She didn't answer me, but lowered her head and smiled. Then she looked outside the window. So I got to know what she wanna say. Maybe when I had been choosing the safe house, in my subconsciousness I was eager to give her this thing._

_I walked up to her, held her from her back, and nestled her in my arms. I knew I succeeded it, that mission._

I picked out several houses according to my requirements, and decided to have a one-by-one field research the next day, so that I could finally determine a best one.

_After Nikita and I were together, and were planning to buy a seaside house, I seemed to still follow these requirements._

_"I really can't understand…" said her, "how do you manage to turn such an exciting thing into a big boredom…and…regularity?"_

_"Oh?" I looked at her, "You think it's boring? It's fun to me, really." I shrugged my shoulder, "Oh by the way, these ones can be eliminated, balcony size not match…"_

_"Idiot." she knocked on my head with her fist._

_Then I realized, whether something was exciting or not had nothing to do with how I was doing it, but had something to do with whether there was always someone together with me calling me "idiot"._

The next day, I determined which house to stay after a whole day's research. I quickly settled down with all furniture I'd decided to buy. Then I gave my new house a thorough cleaning. After all the work, I put my Nikita-washed clothes into the wardrobe.

Sitting in the house enjoying my achievement, I said in my heart, Nikita would like this, right?

Everything went simple in the following days. With Gogol's resources, I searched for information related to the black box and Regimen. Then I gathered and analyzed the information, sometimes went to the field. Had to say, Gogol's intelligence system was good. I could already find a lot of valuable things with my clearance level. Maybe next I should work on getting a higher level.

Ah right, another thing I never forgot to do everyday, cleaning the house. Never knew on what day Nikita would come, but full preparation was never something wrong.

Recent track on Division missions made me feel something was wrong. Different style, direct, quick, tricks not like what Percy would be interested in. And for many times, I could clearly tell "this is a Division mission", so clearly, so not Percy…

What happened to Division?

It couldn't be Nikita; she should've been long gone away from these stuffs. I tried to convince myself this, but if it was not Nikita, what else could cause such changes in Division?

I really wanted to make a confirmation, but didn't really know who to confirm it with. Maybe I should go investigate it.

"Something seemed to be wrong in Division." I told Ari.

"Wrong?" he said, "What do you mean?"

"I don' know." I shrugged, "Can't be sure for now. It might be inside. Lots of missions in a totally different style, they were never gonna do like that before. I need to check."

"You think it has something to do with the black box?"

"If something goes wrong inside Division, first thing Percy's gonna do is to protect his box." I said, "It's my chance."

"Alright." said Ari, "What do you need?"

"I'll give you the weapon list. Gotta have the chance to meet my boys."

"OK." he said with a smile.

Back at my safe house, I started to pack, meantime thinking where to start my investigation. Just then, a piece of news in TV attracted my attention.

"The suspect was shot twice by the senator's security detail. Eyewitnesses describe Lancaster as being in a trance-like state."

I put aside the work on hand.

That kid in TV, empty eyes…holding the gun in a completely raw way…

I guessed I knew who'd "trained" him.

Great, this was just where I would start from. If everything went well, maybe I could even get what I'd been looking for. Well, what I also needed to get was…

I sat back in front of my laptop, searching the maps and drawings I needed.

After everything was ready, I swept my house and walked out.


	29. Shower

After several hours, I was back standing at this place, where I'd been one of them burning down everything seven years ago.

It was raining…

Here I'd killed a lot of persons who should not be killed. Here I'd saved a person who should not be saved. If it had been raining that day, maybe things would be different today.

Heh…

Since this place didn't change much compared with seven years ago, I guessed maybe something here would also remain the same and complete. So I stepped into this ruin, looking that something: a safe.

But soon I seemed to hear something outside. I quickly found a cover to hide myself.

"We radioed the doctor, told him to line up everyone for extraction. They thought the killers coming through the door were a rescue team."

It was Michael…Who was he talking to? Was it…?

"No wonder this place feels haunted."

That was…yeah, someone I'd been missing but somehow I didn't want to hear.

I heard them walking nearer and nearer, so I popped out, trying to confirm their direction. The figure of her back came into my sight. Then I saw them stop, which made me know they'd realized there was someone else in this place.

Being sure that I could call her name in a peaceful tone, I called out, "Nikita."

Michael immediately turned around and held up his gun, so did I, but Nikita didn't. Through her expression, I knew she remembered my voice, so I couldn't help smiling like a fool again.

I walked out from shadow with my gun holding up, and made my face back to normal when I was standing where they could see me.

"Owen? What are you doing here?" asked Nikita. It seemed to have already been the fixed greeting between me and Nikita.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked back. Had to say, I was kind of angry to see them being here together, well…mostly angry at the man standing behind Nikita. You should've gone away from this kind of life long ago, why you brought her here?

"Answer the question." said Michael.

"I know about this place 'cause I was on the strike team that burned it down." I said, "Now answer my question."

"I quarterbacked the op." answered him.

Now I got it. "So you saw that kid on the news. You came to track down the survivor."

"There were no survivors." said him.

I put my gun down. Seemed only Percy and I knew the truth, so Michael wasn't here for survivors; guessed we might have the same purpose then.

"Owen, what survivor?" Nikita asked me.

Relatively, I preferred to answer Nikita's question. "The guy that invented the program," I said, "Joseph Mars. I saved his life."

Michael put his gun down, too.

"Why?"

"Percy ordered me to extract Mars." I said, taking some more steps out, "But he didn't want anybody to know. That's why everyone else had to die." I was recollecting what had happened that day, so I stood with my back at Nikita, not wanting her to see my eyes.

"What Percy wanted him for?" asked Michael.

"Mars knew that stimulating certain parts of the brain would improve focus, the senses. So Percy had him create something to give Division agents an edge."

Michael and Nikita had a look at each other. I knew they'd got my point.

"The Regimen." Michael turned to me.

I nodded. In a nearer position to them, I found something was different about Michael. Oh, clothes. I'd always thought this man was born wearing suit. And his hair was different too. I turned to Nikita, really wanted to ask her, "Hey, what happened to you guys?"

"How low is your supply?" Nikita asked me. I was actually glad to hear her asking me this.

"It's getting low." I said. I'd wanted to say that I still had plenty, but I knew it was not actually possible to lie to her.

"Want to warn us before you turn into the Tasmanian devil again?" said Michael.

Considering what I'd done, especially done to Nikita, I was not mad at Michael saying this. "I find Mars, I find my way off of it." I looked at Nikita in a serious way, "Before the attack on the senator yesterday, I didn't even know if the guy was still alive. Last time I saw him, he was trying to take his research with him. But there was no time." I remember I'd grabbed him out of the house before it collapsed.

"So you know where the safe is?" asked Michael.

"Yeah. I was planning to open it before you guys came."

"Well, now you can keep on." Nikita shrugged her shoulder.

"Right." I said, and walked back inside the house, found the safe, and opened it.

It was empty. Not really a good news, but a hopeful sign, because this made me believe that Mars was still alive.

"Looks like he made the time to come back for it." said Nikita. I liked her sense of humor, any time.

I stood up.

"What do we do next?" Nikita asked Michael. And I was surprised to hear that. In my impression, Nikita was not this kind of person that would ask such questions.

"There are no more valuable things here. We go back first." said Michael.

"Owen," she looked at me, "do you have a safe house here?"

"No…"

"Then you better go with us." she said, tipping her head.

I smiled. She still liked to have people go with her.

I sat in their car, back seat. It was the first time I sat at the back when we were together in the car. But the good thing was, I was sitting behind Michael, so I could see Nikita's face clearly, and…she would not notice that I was looking at her, so I didn't need to worry that she might ask what I was looking at. Though I actually wanted to hear her asking me that.

But this time, when I was looking at her, I just felt she was different. The feeling that she'd given me before was…how to say that…a kind of stress. And when I'd seen her, I would always be filled with a kind of strength. However this time, she wasn't giving me that feeling anymore. Instead, I felt a kind of exhaustion on her.

What on earth had happened?

"Owen." Nikita suddenly turned her head to me.

"Oh…yeah? What?" I collected myself.

"Where…have you been?"

"St. Petersburg."

_She said when she heard this place, for a second she was wondering whether I was working with Gogol. But she quickly got rid of that doubt, as she could not believe what she didn't want to accept._

_I smiled when hearing her saying that. Didn't want to accept, wow, those were really some high level words._

_"Idiot."_

"Why St. Petersburg?" asked Michael?

"Percy never hangs around there." I said, "I was free to go everywhere." I looked at Michael. I had to admit I was kind of hostile to him. I wanted to ask him why he hadn't taken Nikita away from all these Division affairs.

"You don't need to worry about Percy, for now." said Nikita.

"What? Why?" I asked. So I had guessed right?

"He lost Oversight's trust. They had Amanda replace him."

"Really? Where is he now?"

"Amanda's keeping him in a cage." said Nikita, "We think Oversight let him live because of his black boxes."

"Oh…" I lowered my head. So in this case, Percy was not able to get in touch with his guardians outside, and guardians were not able to get the Regimen from Percy. What if they ran out of the Regimen? Anyway, here came my chance…

"Here we are." After some time, Nikita said to me.

"Where is it?" I was amazed at this over-splendid house, "Your safe house?"

"Not exactly." Nikita shrugged, "It's Birkhoff's property."

"Birkhoff…" I frowned, "that human-computer?"

Nikita caught a glance at me, didn't answer.

"Whoa, welcome back. Hope you two guys have already settled down that little friction so that I can cancel your couple-counseling appointment…Oh…" The mobile processor walked out with his loudspeaker not stopping for a second, but stopped right when he saw me, and re-operated soon again, "I guess you are the one calling me human-computer."

"Yeah." I said, "Owen Elliot. Guess you know me already."

"You can say that." he said, and turned to Nikita, "You didn't tell me you had a large parcel arriving today."

I guessed my relationship with this human-computer would keep like this, which was normal. To me, few people wouldn't hold an undercurrent of hostility, and my attitude didn't help reduce the hostility at all. But…fairly speaking, I was also kind hostile to him. Or more properly, I was hostile to anyone that could stay with her.

_"I really can't understand how your empty brain could come up with all those ridiculous thoughts." said Nikita._

_"Hey, last time you said I had one brain cell." I protested._

_"It was killed by jealousy."_

"Hey Birkhoff…" Nikita was trying to say something, but interrupted by me. I knew she had defended me for many times in front of Michael in London, and I couldn't bear her doing it again.

"Hey, I guess you have a spare warehouse, right?" I said, "Just settling me and my guns would be enough."

"Owen…" Nikita turned her head back to me, her eyes kind of saying "why don't you just shut up".

"There's one room downstairs." Birkhoff reluctantly said to me, and headed back to his room.

_He's still like this now, sharp tongue but a soft heart._

"Thanks." I said, carrying all my guns out of the trunk. Nikita took a look at Michael, and came up to me to help.

When I stepped into my room, I couldn't help exclaiming, "Wow…so this guy has done a lot of private jobs? Just like Percy, huh?" I knew Percy; he had his people in control through many ways, money was one of them.

"This…is his pre-Division asset," Nikita was tidying up the bed for me, "from those Wall Street men."

"Oh…" I put down my bag of guns in a corner, "so he's left Division?"

"Yeah." she finished tidying, and looked at me.

"Thanks." said me, "Then…what about Michael?"

"He left too." she folded her arms on her chest, "We three are kind of working together, to take down…Oversight." She said while lowering her head, not like when she'd told me she was planning to take down Division.

"Seems things have changed a lot, huh?" I said, more or less understanding their situation now. Birkhoff was financing Nikita and Michael. But why he would be with them? He'd managed to leave Division, then he should know how to make himself invisible in the outside world.

"Yeah." Nikita nodded, her lips curling a smile. But I could hardly sense any joy in that smile.

And I just realized one thing, that Michael actually said nothing about Nikita staying with me, alone, and…for such a long time. He'd not been like this. I didn't really know I preferred which one of his attitudes though.

"What's he doing now?" I asked.

"Michael?"

"Yeah." I smiled, "Just think the time you staying here with me is far beyond his toleration."

She smiled too, and said, "He is focusing on some other things. I mean…more important things."

"What things?" I asked, without any thinking. Luckily Michael appeared at the door and interrupted my asking. Because I'd meant to ask, "What things are more important than you?"

Michael stood by the door and said, "Nikita, we've got a hit."

"What hit?" Nikita walked to him, followed me.

"Senator Charies Irving," Michael had a look at Nikita, and me, "is going to a party, held by some organization called Read & Unite. Tonight."

"So there's going to be another hypnotized killer?" asked Nikita. The answer was actually obvious. I remembered Nikita would never say such things in an interrogative sentence before, which was not good though, I still preferred that way, especially compared with this way.

"I believe so." answered Michael.

"Then I guess we are in." Nikita tipped her head, saying to Michael. And then she took a look at me.

I smiled, and nodded my head. I knew we were going to have a mission tonight.


	30. Girl

The next thing to do was the preparation for the party mission.

Usually, in such cases, Division's practice was to have its agents play as waiters. And when I saw the uniforms Michael gave me, I guessed it was the same this time. No extra surprises.

But when we entered the hall, I was hit by a big surprise.

Nikita was wearing a…gorgeous dress. She was walking in front of me, that dress…it was the first time I'd seen her in such kind of clothes, and…I wanted her to wear like this for more times. I just wanted to tell her something, though I didn't know what to say. When she stopped, I got a chance to talk to her.

"You clean up nice." I said, while she looking at me, "First time I've seen you look like a girl."

She laughed, apparently not taking my "compliment" as a compliment, but…she actually looked happy, or at least, I thought she was happy.

"Owen, we need to work on your compliment skills." said her.

_She's right; I suck on this. Even now, there's no progress at all. So I seldom say any compliment words._

_Once Daniel asked me, "Dad, have you noticed mom's new hair style today?"_

_"Oh? Oh…yeah…"_

_"Then why didn't you tell her she's beautiful?"_

_"Isn't she always beautiful?" I said._

_"You still need to tell her, dad."_

_"Why?" I asked him._

_Daniel then changed a really serious look, and said a typical line that God knew which soap opera he'd learnt from, "Women all need it."_

_I got astonished for a while, and looked at Emily, who was devoted in building blocks. "Really, Emily?" I asked her._

_Emily looked up at me with a confused look, and I turned back to Daniel with a even more confused look. He shook his head, looking at me like looking at a super-super clumsy idiot._

_"You believe it or not, dad." said him._

_"Well okay…" I nodded, "but…I really need to limit your TV time."_

_"Hah…" now he was looking at me like looking at a betrayer, "like I care about you guys." Then he went back to his room._

_I watched him close the door, smiling, and starting to think about and collect compliment words that fit Nikita. When she returned home, I almost got well prepared._

_"Hey." I tapped on her shoulder._

_"What?" she turned around and asked. Meantime, I seemed to hear Daniel opening his door._

_But, I just kept doing the same thing, like every time, when I was looking at her, all words just slipped out of my mind, no matter how well I'd got prepared._

_"Eh…there's something I want to let you know…" I scratched my head, and Nikita was frowning at me. "Eh…you are the most beautiful woman I've ever met." In the end, I could just speak out this simplest, and hardest-to-forget sentence._

_Nikita was stunned there._

_And I realized what I'd just said was not really accurate, so I added, "Eh…maybe I've not met also. Um…over."_

_I kept my head down almost to the ground, like looking for a place Nikita couldn't find to bury my face. But I failed, as Nikita already grabbed my hand, and held my neck, and…moved close to me…_

_When I opened my eyes again, I saw Daniel covering Emily's eyes while the other hand holding up his thumb to me._

"Keep an eye out for people on cell phones." I heard Michael saying behind me.

Nikita walked to him.

"I'm guessing that's how Mars activates his sleeper."

Then we went on separately, searching for the possible target.

"I think I got him." said Nikita through microphone, "Thick black glasses, on his cell. Heading towards the senator."

I turned to Michael, who gave me a gesture to stand still and then headed to Nikita. I watched them.

"False alarm." Nikita said after a moment.

We got back to our own position.

Soon we heard Nikita again, "Purple dress, she's headed toward the senator."

We all saw that woman and started to move. She was holding up her arm and about to pull the trigger. Nikita was nearest to her and all at once hit her down while took away her gun. There another girl coming out from nowhere flung the senator to the ground.

I quickly walked to Nikita who handed the sleeper to me. Then she looked over to that girl, watched her for a while, and then left with us.

They two knew each other?

I put the sleeper on the back seat of the car, and myself sat behind the driver so that I could still see Nikita.

"Who was that girl?" I asked her.

"What girl?" asked her. But I knew she actually knew who I was asking; she just didn't want to answer it.

"The one pushing down the senator."

"Oh um…" Nikita looked out of the window.

"You knew her, right?" I said.

"Yeah…" she was still looking at outside.

"But…why would Alex be here? asked Michael.

"Alex?" asked me.

"Yeah…" Nikita turned around to me, "You wanna know who that girl was? Now you do." she then looked at Michael, "I don't know." she lowered her head, "I don't know what Amanda has told her, but I don't think I can stop her involving herself in Division's missions."

What exactly was going on? That girl…wait…was she…?

But before I had the time to ask her about more, we already got back to the safe house. And I realized another thing on the way back.

"I'll talk with Birkhoff. They failed this time. Gotta be another attack." Michael said to Nikita.

"OK." nodded Nikita.

Then Michael had a look at me. I tipped my head saying okay, and got the girl out of the car.

Well…not bad, Michael's away, so I seemed to have a chance to figure out something I'd been curious about.

"Now…" I followed Nikita to the bedroom, "Michael, Birkhoff…"

"Yeah what?" she turned around.

"No one else? I mean people working with you…"

"…No." she walked ahead, lowering her head.

"What about your former insider?" I asked.

She stopped to look at me.

"That girl…Alex, it was her, right? Your partner."

She was looking at me with a surprise. I guessed she should have some preparations for the fact that I was not as stupid as she thought. "Yeah…" answered her.

"Then what now…?"

Nikita shook her head, "It's…complicated…"

"Okay." I stopped asking. I would always stop asking in such conditions, because sometimes I could guess almost the truth. Nikita liked to hide a lot of things, and liked to complicate a lot of things. In fact, for most of the time, things were not that complicated.

_"Sometimes…" said her, "I envy your way of thinking about things."_

_"What way? Simple? Direct?"_

_"Yeah…" she nodded, "I've tried it but…to me it's too difficult…"_

_"Because you're not an idiot." I pinched her cheek, "And it'd not easy to be an idiot, if you don't have that gift."_

Walking into the bedroom, I put the girl on the bed, and loosened my tie and sleeve buttons for relax. Nikita turned on the TV. I guessed we could have a more meaningful conversation now.

"So where'd you get a black box?" I asked her, directly.

She firstly took a look at me, and quickly turned back and lowered her head to fiddle about the remote. I knew she was avoiding my question, because she'd already known what was going on here was completely different from what she'd badly wanted me to do.

"Come on, Nikita. I'm not stupid." I said, "The things you know about P9 and the op, all those details. I was on the ground. I don't know half that stuff." I was smiling when saying this. I wanted to express to her that I did not intend to blame her or something. In fact, I would not blame her whatever she'd done. I just wanted know the truth.

_"Was I made myself clear to you?" I asked her afterwards._

_"Yeah, very clear." she smiled, "Always."_

"Michael took Percy's master drive when he left Division." Nikita was looking at somewhere else when saying this.

"So you peeked inside it?" said me, "I thought you were 'Miss destroy all boxes'."

"He convinced me that this one we would use for good." she said.

What she said now, together with what had happened since we met again, made me realize that everything had already changed to "Michael says", "Michael thinks", "Michael decides".

And I got it, why I would feel the exhaustion on her, and why she seemed to totally lost her "bossy". Because of the love for Michael, Nikita accepted all his decisions, most of which, as I guessed, she did not really agree with. Not destroying the box was probably one of those decisions. So I didn't have the reason to blame her.

What's more, I suddenly wanted to go remind Michael, how lucky he'd been.

"Oh." I said, "So you and Michael can handle all the dangerous secrets, but I can't." I was still smiling. I wasn't blaming her for not telling me this; I was just a little frustrated for her not trusting me.

"Am I wrong? The last time I saw you…" she was leaning against the door. The way she looked at me was exactly the same as the way she'd looked at my tattoos in London.

"I was suffering from regimen withdrawal when I tried to upload the box in London." I was hurried to say this, "I wasn't in a sound state of mind. I'm better now, Nikita." Actually I was not that much better, especially when faced with her.

"You still need a cure." said her.

We all liked to pretend that we were okay when we were actually not. But the fortunate thing was, when either one of us was pretending, the other one could always find it out in time.

"Yeah, and once I get it," I almost stared at Nikita, "I'm gonna hunt down the rest of Percy's guardians, and I'm gonna destroy their black boxes. And then I'm gonna finish Percy."

Nikita just slightly nodded her head.

"You think I can handle that, right?" said me. I got it; I didn't know what Michael was planning to do, but I knew I would finish what Nikita had always been wanting to do. And this time, I could almost make up my mind not to get her involved.

"I won't stop you." Nikita raised her head and smiled.

"You mean you won't try." I said, just wanted to confirm it.

She gave me a naughty smile, which was probably her first real smile since we met again.

The girl woke up.

"What…" she said, rubbing her head.

Nikita walked over to her. I guessed I should not stay in the room, so I went out to the hallway. Next step we should…

When I was hanging around along the hallway, I heard from one room that the human-computer was operating in a high frequency, with his loudspeaker exporting signal constantly. I was heading in that direction, on the way I saw an opened packet of crisps on the table in one room, and it woke up my stomach which was already in the lack of food. I picked up the packet, hmm…not really the flavor I liked, but didn't matter, it would work.

I stopped at the door of the room where the "signal" came from, chewing the crisps, and listening.

"Everyone in the tri-state area with a badge and a gun is looking for this girl. They track her back here, and I'm toast."

"We are the only ones who know she's innocent. We have to help her."

I didn't think it was wise for me to get in the room because of two things.

One, I needed to first figure out which ground these two men each stood.

Two, I wanted to finish the crisps outside the room. I was really starving, and none of the men here gave me a "I'll do the cook" signal. Believing that what Nikita cooked could never satisfy the two top-food-chain men, I guessed their common food were carryout sandwiches. Oh maybe they really needed to get used to the outside Division life.

"There is no we, okay?" the volume was increased, "There is me, and there is you. Now, get rid of her, or you and your super-friends crew got to go."

Super-friends crew…

I stopped chewing, and thought for a second, making sure Nikita was supposed to be included in that crew.

"Don't give me the goatee of intimidation, okay?" said the human-computer, "I know you won't hurt me."

Well, similar as I'd guessed. If I were the computer that had only been maintained by carryout sandwiches, I would definitely absolutely go as-far-as-I-could away from Division stuffs.

I didn't hear Michael responding. Well, he'd never got into the situation huh? This human-computer rejected his order!

I wasn't planning to intervene, because first, I didn't like to; second, I still had crisps to finish.

But Nikita was in that crew, so maybe I'd better say something.

"No, but I might." I said, not forgetting to chew the crisps.

"Those are mine, man." human-computer sounded like he needed charging.

"You're kind of small." I stepped close to him, "You'd dissolve quick."

Sometimes power off was the simplest way to get computer recovered. And I guessed it applied to this human-computer as well. Meantime, I made an exaggerated chewing action to help emphasize my "threat".

"Whatever." He let out a breath.

And the rest two of us could reach a mutual agreement: the threat worked.

"Just remember," he turned to Michael, "you're on your own with this one."

"OK." answered Michael.

Then human-computer walked out of this room. Michael twitched his mouth to me, guessed it was a "thanks", so I smiled at him, getting myself back to the crisps.

"Where's that girl?" Michael asked me.

"Awake. Nikita's looking after her." I said, "We got anything?" actually I had a lot of things to ask him, but I thought it would a better timing after this mission's finished.

"Nothing." Michael shook his head, "Nothing useful from news. I guess we should make a breach from those sleepers." He sat in front of the computer, "That girl's name…"

"Alicia." said me, finishing the last flake. I shook the packet to help myself confirm the fact, and then threw it aside.

"Well…according to her casebook…" Michael was searching for the information while I was watching.

"She went to rehab." said me.

"Yeah, same place as the previous kid, I guess." Michael was typing the keyboard, "Vory Clinic."

"And Dr. Francis." Nikita's voice came from the door, "Mars' cover." She tipped her said, " The clinic is where the killers are raised."

"We got to raid the clinic and grab him." said me.

"There are rehab patients in there." Michael walked past me, "We need to find out how many and what kind of security Mars is using." He pointed at me, "Mars would recognize Owen. He wouldn't recognize me."

"Michael, my love." Nikita walked to him and took his hand to her chest, "Officer, yes. Junkie, no." Then she kissed his hand, and walked to me.

Michael pulled her back, "Hey, I've passed as worse." said him, "Infiltration is our best chance at getting recon."

"I know. That's why I'm going." said Nikita.

Conversation finished. Nikita won.

She passed over me and tapped on my shoulder. Then she left the room.

"She always wins?" I asked Michael.

"You can say that." answered him.

So that was the plan. I went back to my room, and sat on my bed, sweeping my gun.

After some time, Nikita went stairs to my room.

"Just telling you the time we start off tomorrow." said her.

"You don't need to, actually." I smiled, "You'll no way get up earlier than me. I'm still a monster."

She smiled too, saying, "Nice gun."

"Year, my favorite." I straightened it up on the bed. I seemed to want her to notice these things, things that did not fit me in recent period. I seemed to want her to ask me where I'd got my guns, because I wanted to know her reaction to the fact that I was working with Gogol. But she didn't ask.

_She said she'd wanted to, and even had thought about the possible answers. But she quickly denied them._

"So…what gun you're gonna take to the clinic?" I asked her.

She just shook her head.

"None?" I stood up, "You sure it's okay?"

She shrugged her shoulder and said, "My 'costume' tomorrow doesn't match with guns. Would be too obvious."

"What's your costume tomorrow?"

"You'll see." She gave me a smile, "Good night, monster."

I smiled, watching her going upstairs.

Then I sat back on my bed, and checked my guns a second round. I had to make sure they would work well tomorrow.

No gun…is that really okay? And what she's gonna wear?

I couldn't work it out, and finally gave up imagining.

If I had even a bit clue about how I would react to her "costume" the next day, I would probably not give up that easily.


	31. Confirmation

When I woke up the next morning, I knew in this house the only awake person was me. I loaded my guns, and went to the living room, waiting for the others.

Not long after I sat down, Michael came downstairs.

"You ready?" he asked me.

I nodded, and asked, "Her?"

"Doing the make-up." He shrugged, "Might take some more time."

"OK."

Then the human-computer with an eyepatch on his head showed up in the living room. I guessed he was still in the sleeping mode.

"Birkhoff." said Michael, "So you are finally in?"

"Don't get me wrong." Birkhoff took off the eyepatch, "I'm just here preparing breakfast."

"You don't do breakfast, as I recall."

"Go ahead, if you want me back to sleep."

Michael didn't go ahead actually, so Birkhoff went out of the house and returned after 10 minutes, with a huge box of pizza.

"Guess you're not planning to have a 'clinic breakfast' huh?" said him, opening the pizza box. And I felt hungry all at once.

"You sure it's not a 'I'm in' signal?" Michael raised his eyebrow.

"Don't get me wrong. My support ends here." said Birkhoff, and picked one piece of pizza.

But truth was, he always broke this "vow" soon, and repeated it, and broke it again. Just like some crappy cycle structure.

Michael and I also picked one piece, but I didn't have much time to satisfy my stomach before Nikita went out.

Until today I still can not forget the big shock on me from her.

Livid rings round her eyes, disheveled hair, jeans and sneakers. Although it was all make-up, I knew she had for real experienced that kind of life. And seeing this state of hers, it pierced my heart.

"How do I look?" she asked Michael.

"Not bad." answered Michael, "Remind me of the first time I met you."

Nikita smiled and lightly touched his face. Then she sat down by the table for breakfast.

I tried to distract myself from her, but I failed. I could not help imagining what she'd once suffered. And she was now even smiling!

I was sure I had not forgotten to take the Regimen, but my heart was still beating like hell.

Enough…

That's enough!

She's not gonna live like this any more!

Just take her away!

"Owen…" when I heard Nikita calling my name, she'd already called for many times.

"What…?" I looked at her with an absent look.

"We gotta go." She shook her head, "And you're gonna finish your pizza or…"

I looked back down at my pizza, and swallowed it before she gave me the other option.

"…whatever…" she shrugged.

Then after they input something like "there's a sleeper sleeping in the bedroom" to the human-computer, we left the house.

I put my guns into the trunk.

I needed to calm myself down. I needed to sort through what I was going to tell Michael. So I was sitting in the back seat in which I couldn't see Nikita's face. Otherwise my heart would keep beating like that, with the force I'd never experienced. I didn't know why I would be like this, or…maybe I knew but I just dare not admit it. That day, when I saw her at the first sight, I seemed to fall in love with her.

_She later said she really could not understand why I would fall in love with her in that state, because that was the worst state of hers._

_"Neither could I." I shrugged my shoulder, "But that was not the worst state at all. You are the best, whatever state it is." After saying this, I just felt I'd missed something. Oh, yeah, when I held her in my arms, I realized what it was that I'd missed. "But…best as you are, some states you'd better not touch again. Or I would die from heart attack." Then I felt her slightly biting my neck._

Michael stopped the car at the entrance of an alley opposite the clinic.

"Be careful." He said to Nikita, "Watch your comm."

"Yeah." Nikita held Michael's hand for a second, and then opened the door, "Don't fight, boys." She was looking at us like a parent.

I just curled my lips, and watched her close the door and walking in the clinic's direction.

Now there was only me and Michael in the car. I leaned myself on the back of seat with my head resting on the top, looking at the roof of the car. I was not saying anything, neither was Michael. Nikita was basically over-worried about us. We didn't even have anything to talk about, not to mention fight.

Back to the previous time, I would keep silent until necessary. But this time was different and I had to say something to him.

I took a look at Michael through the rearview mirror, only to find that he was also looking at me. And the way he was looking at me, it drove away all my talking interest.

Maybe Michael would disagree if I said I hated him more than he hated me, and I probably wouldn't agree with the other way round. In fact, I didn't know why he hated me that much, but I hadn't been having the chance to ask him

As I'd guessed, maybe Michael was just feeling the same as I was feeling, jealous, envious, when seeing Nikita being with someone else. And that "someone else" looked like a big threat to the relationship between Nikita and himself. Hah, jealous type…

Before then, I didn't think this "jealous" reason suited me, but…seeing from now, maybe it did. And I didn't know whether I felt innocent, compelled, or…happy. I sucked at describing complicated mood, and even worse at dealing with it.

So for me, the reason why I hated Michael was just simple: he hated me.

Soon Nikita contacted us from inside the clinic. I moved my body closer to Michael to listen.

"I'm in." said her, "I have ten minutes to fill out a questionnaire."

"Do you see Mars?" asked Michael.

"No, they must do the treatments in another wing or something. I'll let you know what I find."

"Okay. Nikita, be careful." said Michael. And the communication was cut off.

Ten minutes…I knew after ten minutes we would no longer sit in the car, so it was my only chance to talk to him.

I'd considered how to start the talk, but truth was, for talks related to Nikita, any preparation was just nonsense. So I'd just go straight, "You get how lucky you are?"

I caught a glimpse at the rearview mirror, and didn't look at Michael anymore. He was still looking at me like that, so I knew, he had never realized how lucky he was.

"You got out of Division with the woman you love." I kept on, "That's what I used to want for me and Emily." I kept reminding myself of Emily, seeming to force myself to confirm that I didn't fall in love with Nikita. However, it seemed to be failed…

"Yeah, I know what happened to Emily. I'm sorry." said Michael.

I had a look at him, whose eye expression seemed changed, a little better now. I looked outside the window, thinking what to say next.

"You know," Michael continued, "when things like that happen, you…feel like the sun should turn dark. The earth should stop spinning. But the world keeps going on around you."

Oh, right, Nikita had told me something about Michael. He'd lost his wife and daughter, so he understood this kind of feeling.

"Yeah, and you wonder if it's a place worth living in." I said. And I actually had asked myself this, with the answer being positive. Yes, it was worth, because Nikita's here.

Speaking of Nikita…

"Hey, you and Nikita…why are you still living this life?"

Michael turned around to me, which meant he started to pay attention to our talk, which was good, and I was glad.

"If I had a chance to do it over again, I'd just take off with Emily, you know. I wouldn't wait for the right moment…'cause that's when it happens…the threat you don't see coming." I said.

I though I'd finished what I had to say, and seeing his face becoming more and more serious, I guessed the talk achieved its expected effect. Michael would seriously consider the matter of taking Nikita away.

So I moved my eyes back out of the window. I thought I was happy, just happy, but I seemed not. I couldn't cast off a feeling which was mixed with loss, upset and frustration, a feeling I had no idea where it came out from.

I'm sorry, Emily…


	32. Alert

Then I just remained my eyes out of the window, while Michael, as I guessed, was thinking of what I'd told him, until Nikita's voice drew both of us back to the mission.

"Michael, I think I got him."

We both got tensed up. She was not talking for some minutes, during which time there was sound like typing on the keyboard. She was probably searching for some information on the computer.

"I'm sorry…I'm totally turned around…"

That was what I heard from the comm, so did Michael.

Crap…

"Um, the receptionist told me that the…the interview rooms were back here?" It was still Nikita trying to explain.

"You came in for treatment?" though not very clear, I know it was Mars. I would never forget the bastard's voice.

Holy crap…

"Yeah, my, um, friend…she told me that you got her clean in, like, a month. So I thought that was awesome." said Nikita.

"Yes, that's one word for it." said the bastard.

"Yeah, okay, well, I guess I'll just see you outside, then." Nikita was seeking a way out.

"Actually, you can answer some questions right here."

Damn, Mars, dare you touch her!

"You see, the interview rooms are all up in the front. And Lucy wouldn't have sent you in back." said Mars.

And I heard the door opening and a lot of footsteps.

"So the first thing that I want to know is, why are you really here?"

I didn't want to describe what I heard next. I hated, and was afraid to hear her struggling. I didn't know how many men she was against; all I could do was trying my best to recognize useful signals through her comm.. However, Mars' men were all pro, I couldn't get any valuable information.

But, since that bastard wanted to ask questions, there should be some more time.

"Who are you working with?" asked Mars.

"I told you. I'm here alone." said Nikita.

Oh, that was not a good answer.

Michael already opened his gun's safety. I stopped him, "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait." I pressed on his shoulder, "We have no idea where she is or how many guys we'd be dealing with. We'd be going in blind." Actually I didn't have the less impulsion to get in there.

"Okay, maybe we don't have to." Michael said, and dialed a number. Considering we didn't have many back-ups, I guessed he was calling that "program generator", who was very probably being digesting pizza with his fascinating computer games.

"Yo." replied the generator.

"Birkhoff, I need you to hack into Vory. Phones, security cameras, the works." said Michael.

"I'm sorry. Did you just say you need me to…" apparently it was a "reject" signal.

"Mars grabbed Nikita." said Michael.

"Give me two minutes." generator's voice changed.

Whoa, so the "Nikita needs" things also worked on this guy.

"OK, let's go." Michael turned to me."

"Got it." I jumped out of the car, grabbed all my guns from the trunk, and then followed Michael.

After crossing the street, we waited for Birkhoff's indication.

"Where the hell did you lift that from?" Michael noticed my guns.

Hah…

"You always assume the worst in me." I said. I'd wanted to say that long before.

"Look, all I know is that gear cost 10k. The last time I checked, you were unemployed."

I wanted to say "so are you", but…well, better not.

"Yeah, well, a lot of people are willing to pay for my skill set." answered me.

"Yeah? Like who?"

Oh, I didn't expect he was the one that asked me this question. But it was really not a good timing, and I didn't really want to answer it. If he knew I was working with Gogol, he would definitely think in the worst way. So I was considering how to deal with this topic.

Fortunately, here came the indication from the human-computer. "Okay, looks like your best point of entry is gonna be the southeast corner."

Great, I could skip this "employment" topic. Thanks buddy.

Then we got to the entry.

"Think we can kick it in?" asked Michael.

Sure we can.

"On my count." I stood by the door, "One, two, three."

Then together we kicked the door in, and rushed into the clinic. The alarm of the clinic quickly began to ring furiously.

"Okay, you guys are gonna want to stay to the right. On second thought, maybe not…"

"Talk to me, Birkhoff." said Michael.

I didn't have a comm., so it was all Michael's move determining mine.

"Three of them...armed, dead ahead." Michael then told me.

Right, three people were coming out from the corner.

We took cover, and fired at them.

They were not sleepers, but professionally trained. I got it, they were the testing articles and…survivors of P9. And this was their so-called revenge, huh? It was just…the revenge method was way too unacceptable. So…I'm sorry.

After several round's fire, I heard nothing coming from over there.

"I think they're out." I shouted to Michael who was taking cover at the other side of the hallway.

"Judging by the sound of it." answered him.

But badly, from his position, I heard something like a gun's safety was on. I moved my head out, only to see a man putting a gun against Michael's head.

"Hands up." said that man. Michael did as he said.

I withdrew my head back, trying to find a chance to take that man down. When Michael was walking out of the cover, he quickly turned around and punched on that man's face. Then Michael pressed him onto a cupboard. Just then, another man showed up from the corner. The next thing was simple, as it was too near to aim with a gun, Michael and I went on a cooperation, with he handling the new one while I dealing with this one. It was not long before both of them were taken down by us.

Now the hallway was clear. We rushed into the treatment room. There we saw Nikita, and Mars.

"You…" Mars said when seeing me.

"I want everything on the regimen…every formula, every piece of research. All of it." I said with a gesture, asking him to give me everything I wanted.

I was kind of not cool-headed. Seeing this man made me believe I got the way to get clean, and I was eager to confirm that.

I saw Mars insert a memory stick into his computer, and then type the password. I felt something wrong, but it was already late. The computer gave forth a weird sound, familiar weird sound…Damn it!

Through the surveillance screen, I saw those under-treatment patients all opened their eyes.

"Turn it off. Hey! Turn it off!" I grabbed Mars' arm hurriedly. However the sound had already lasted long enough to wake up those sleepers.

Michael, Nikita and I went to the hallway, only to see those patients flowing out of the treatment rooms to the hallway, lots of them, just like the walking zombies.

"What's happening to them?" asked Nikita.

"They've been triggered." said Michael, "But I don't think they've got orders."

I was walking behind them. One zombie rushed to me while I stretched out my leg and tripped him up. He fell down. Whoo, hope you're not hurt badly.

Another zombie ahead held up his gun. Michael walked up to him, seized his wrist to control his shooting direction. Just then, I saw the gun was pointing at us while the zombie was struggling to get away from Michael.

"Get down, get down, get down!" I shouted to Nikita, who then just like went through a conditioned reflex and got down to the ground, or more accurately, fell down to the ground. Her clothes and make-up enhanced this feeling of mine: she was tired. I thought of the dead body lying in the treatment, guessed that was just the cause.

That zombie fired in our direction after all, when Mars was just running out of the room. Shit luck. Bullet just hit him.

Michael gave the zombie a punch and finally took him down.

"You okay?" I ran to Nikita and held her up.

"Yeah…" answered her.

"Yeah?" asked me, again. I would always double check with her on such questions, as I could hardly get the right answer at the first time, sometimes not even the second.

She nodded her head, but I still kept my eyes on her for a while to confirm she was really okay. Then I loosened my hand, which had just been holding hers. Hah…I hadn't even realized that.

Next…needed to deal with these zombies.

I turned around to pack up my guns, and suddenly realized Mars was dead. I stared at his body.

"You didn't get what you needed." Nikita said to me.

"I still got hope." I said, "Those files got to be somewhere."

She nodded slightly.

Michael walked to us, "Alicia's been re-triggered. Two guesses where she's headed."

"St. Joseph's hospital, where the senator is recuperating. Michael, he'll be crawling with security. She'll get herself killed." said Nikita.

"Or Birkhoff, he's right behind her."

Nikita looked around this place. I guessed she was thinking of a way to clear up here all in a minute and then rush to save that able-to-drive human-computer, and his newly-made girl friend. But apparently, it was way too unpractical.

"You guys go. I'll stay here." I said.

Nikita looked at me.

Somehow I just couldn't help smiling when seeing her expression, "I know a little something about cleaning up crime scenes. I'll tee everything up for the cops. That Mars is the bad guy. I'll get everybody the help they need."

_Nikita once said I would always smile with no reason, sometimes when the situation was actually filled with tension, and especially when I was looking at her._

_"Anything of me is funny to you?"_

_"No." I shook my head, but unfortunately I smiled again when I was shaking my head._

_"What are you laughing for?" she wrinkled up her forehead. That was the cutest expression of hers. She made that face when something was difficult for her to understand, which actually didn't happen very frequently. However, I often achieved that, making her confused. And considering of my one-cell brain, she was only more confused about how it could ever happen._

_"Nothing…just like this, hold it longer." I said with an even big smile._

_"Like what?"_

_"This, the look, kind of…willy-nilly."_

_"What? So how long you want me to hold it?" She wrinkled even more._

_"After I finish laughing."_

_"And when are you planning to finish?" she asked with arms akimbo, kind of ready to give me a good lesson._

_"After you change your look." I answered, and without a second's pause, I jumped over the table and ran out of the house. Nikita rose up and chased me._

_"Emily's in the yard. Don't you guys step on her!" Daniel was shouting to us behind._

"Might want to erase the Venezuelans as well." said Michael, "No need to create an international incident."

I turned to him and said, "Well, that goes without saying."

Time limited, so I again forgave him for looking down upon my technical expertise. Then I nodded at Nikita reassuringly, and watched them leaving the clinic.


	33. Clean

They left, and I was gonna do what I needed to do.

First thing, going to the control room to lock down all doors so that these zombies had no way out of here; second, dealing with the dead Venezuelans. Gotta need some acid, and the clinic should be equipped with such kind of reagent.

I found what I needed and started to compound the acid. I got really sick of doing this since I'd left Division, and I could never imagine why I'd been completely indifferent about this before.

While the acid was taking effect, I had a quick look through Mars' computer, shut down all surveillance cameras and revised all the records, and then I found out information related to the regimen and its prescription.

Now the corpses were cleaned, gotta find someone to call on the cops.

I was wondering whether there was someone here could do it. Oh, right, Lucy, the receptionist. I'd heard Mars saying the name. That would be her.

I put away my guns, and only brought a baby pistol to the reception desk.

"Are you Lucy?" I asked a woman who was concentrating herself on the files on the desk.

"Yes…whoa, where did you spring from?" she apparently got surprised.

"Look, Joseph Mars is dead." I said it on purpose, because I wanted to see her reaction. If she was involved in this, I had to take her out and look for another method.

"Who? Who's dead? I don't understand what you're saying. What are you doing here? Listen, if you…" she reached out her hand to the phone. I could see she was really frightened. And I already got what I wanted. She had no idea about the name Mars, and she was only responsible for accepting patients. That's it.

"Wait." I stopped her by pressing her hand.

"What do you want?" she was totally freaking out.

"Give me two minutes to explain what just happened in there, and you'll do as I say, or you'll be in danger."

"Danger? What danger? Danger comes from where?"

"From Dr. Francis' previous employer. I bet you've got a not really good job." I said, "Besides Dr. Francis, you ever seen someone else? I mean, besides patients as well…"

"No…"

"Good." I nodded, "Now, find out your information on this computer, and delete it. All of it, phone number, address, anything that can lead to you. Hurry!"

"Okay…" she said, and did as I said.

"Now, follow me to the treatment room." I made a gesture. She stood up and walked out. I could saw her legs shaking.

"Hey, why you are so scared?" asked me, "Do I look dangerous?"

"…Yeah…"

"Okay…um…if I walk ahead of you, and you then won't see my face. Will that make it better?"

"Maybe…"

So I took a few quick steps ahead with a sigh.

_"Am I dangerous just as the same way I look?" once I asked Nikita._

_"No." answered her._

_"Really?" experience told me she'd not finished yet._

_"You're far more dangerous than the way you look."_

_Hah, that it was. I stepped closer to her._

_"What you wanna do?"_

_"Just do something to prove that."_

"What happened? Why they all…" Lucy saw the zombie-like patients lying in the hallway.

"Shh…don't stimulate them." I turned around and said, "Now stop. I need to tell you the situation there around the corner first, in case you scream later."

"What situation?"

"Listen, Dr. Francis has been controlling his patients by hypnosis, making them just act like zombies and having them do some bad things. You don't need to know the details, just be aware it's his hypnotic therapy, which you already know, right?"

"Yes…"

"Good. Now you call the cops and ask them to come here. You tell them that you had something to tell Dr. Francis, so you came in here to look for him, but all you saw were these patients, lying on the floor, while Dr. Francis got shot and dead. Cops will figure out all these happenings by themselves, and you don't need to anything more. OK?"

She nodded her head.

"OK. This is my comm." I gave Lucy an earphone which I'd found in the treatment room, "Now you make the call. I'll be nearby, where they can't see me. Do as I say later then, OK?"

"OK…"

"OK. It'll be fine. Now call them."

Lucy made the phone call, and the cops soon arrived. I hid at the entrance and spoke with Lucy through the comm.. In fact, before Lucy finished her saying, cops had already understood everything. And I could hear them discussing.

"What now?" Lucy asked in a low voice.

"They may ask you for the patients' records. You know where they are, right? Find them on the computer and give'em to the cops."

"How do you know…"

"Excuse me, Miss, we need the patients' records…" it was a cop's voice.

Everything went well as I'd planned.

Cops already got the records, and I guessed they were searching for the files of that ice-cream boy and Alicia. And it wouldn't take much time.

"Listen Lucy, they will find out that Dr. Francis was shot by one of the men lying there. They probably will ask you what you know about this. Don't be afraid; just tell them what you know. They will not ask much." About P9, I bet they wouldn't like people to know more.

"OK, I see." said Lucy.

Soon, the question time was over. What cops suggested Lucy was to pack up and leave.

And I left the entrance, and went back to the alley.

"Hey." Lucy talked to me again, "I'm out of the clinic. Thank you."

"OK. Now drop the comm." said me, "Never get back here again."

"Who are you exactly?" asked her.

"Someone you'd better not know." I said, "Good luck." Then I crushed my comm..

Then I was waiting in the alley for Michael and Nikita. Not long after, my phone started to ring.

"Settled?" it was Nikita.

"Yeah." I said, "Cops are here investigating. How's everything going on your side?"

"We found Alicia. Senator's not the target. Anyway, it's good that she didn't make it."

"Is she back sober?" asked me.

"Yeah. Should still be a little dizzy. Got hit on the head." she said.

"So what's your plan?"

"We need find a place to let her accept recovery treatment."

"Maybe there's a chance here." said me, "Let her come back to the clinic, pretending that she's here for treatment. Cops will take care of her."

"Yeah. We'll be there asap." said Nikita, "Birkhoff's with us. You go to his car after we arrive."

"OK." I hung up the phone.

Soon I saw Nikita and Michael' car and…a Lamborghini whose glasses were all smashed. I went to the Lamborghini. Human-computer opened the door, in an extremely unwilling way. I got into the car.

"So…what happened to your ride?" I asked, looking at his injured face.

"Shut up or get off." said him, not looking at me. Along his eyesight, I saw Alicia walking into the clinic. And the human-computer was watching her back in a way that…made me can not call him computer any more.

"OK." I said, "Just one more sentence. Thank you, for saving us."

He finally turned to me, "It's nothing."

After confirming Alicia was fine with the cops, Birkhoff started his car, followed Nikita and left this place.


	34. Wanna Get Away

We got back to the human-computer's…oh, no, Birkhoff's house. I went back to my room right after I got off the car. Or…maybe I should say rushed to my room, which was more appropriate, considering my running speed and so many things I was bringing with.

"Owen," Nikita called me, "anything hurried?"

"Yeah." I just took a glance at her, "Gotta check these things."

"OK." said her.

Then I kept running downstairs to my room. In fact, the reason I was so hurried was that I didn't want to see her in this make-up anymore. It was weird that I still felt something wrong with my heart, while the mission was actually settled down. So I was planning to stay in my room until she finished taking her make-up off. Meantime, I could sort what I brought back.

I let out a breath, and turned on my laptop, starting to watch the files in the memory stick.

Prescription…therapeutic process…oh, what is this…?

I saw a component form which I'd never seen before. Maybe this was…

Yeah, that's it!

I was lying on the bed. Anyway it was a hope, dragging me back to the normal life from a monster. If it worked, maybe I…

Heh…

I pulled myself out of the fancy. It was bad to fancy something that would never come true.

"Owen?"

"What?" I bounced out of the bed, and saw Nikita opening my door and getting in my room.

"What…why you…" she was apparently astonished at my violent reaction.

"Oh…um…no…you didn't knock the door, so…"

"Oh…sorry…" said Nikita, frowning a little. I guessed she was wondering why she'd not knocked. Maybe it was because our previous safe houses all only had one room, and we both were…too free and casual, when being together.

While I was thinking of another thing, which was kind of weird, that maybe I would not be so over-reacted before if she didn't knock the door.

"That's OK." I raised my head, and saw she was back to her normal clothes. But what's weird was, my heartbeat was not back to normal. "What's up?" I asked her.

"Nothing. Just check if you're hungry." She shrugged her shoulder.

"Yeah…" I nodded, "Thanks for reminding, or I don't know until when I will realize that I'm starving."

She smiled, "Then come up."

I followed her to the living room.

"Where's Birkhoff?" Nikita asked Michael.

"Not coming out." Michael shook his head.

"Why not?"

"Don't know." answered Michael, "Seems like he's up to something. Told me to leave him alone."

"Really?" Nikita had a look at Birkhoff's room, "Alicia?"

"Maybe." said Michael, "Hard to believe he was the one that insisted on getting that girl outta here last night."

Nikita answered with a smile.

I was intending to say there's nothing so hard to believe, but I didn't. And I didn't care much about their following conversation, until Nikita called my name, "Owen."

"What?" I raised my head.

"What's your next plan?"

"Looking for black boxes, of course." I said, shrugging.

"Any lead? Where's the next spot?"

"Not yet. You got suggestions?" I asked, having a look at Michael at the same time.

Nikita shook her head. "But…" her eyes again moved to Birkhoff's room, "Birkhoff may get you some information about the boxes. You can ask him, if he wants to come out."

"Yeah, okay." I smiled, "You guys…" I gave Michael another look.

"What?" asked Michael.

"Nothing." I got back to the food. I'd wanted to ask about their future plan, but somehow I just held back. I didn't even know what answer I was expecting from them.

That night I didn't sleep for much time, though I'd been sleeping little, I knew this time it was not because of the regimen. Heh…if I could be like this every day, I guessed I'd kind of got rid of the regimen already.

_"No, you haven't." said Nikita later, "You've just had another thing replace the regimen to depend on."_

_"Yeah…" said me. _

_She's right. The only difference between the replacement and regimen was, till now I haven't got rid of it yet, and…I am not planning to get rid of it, or…her._

If Birkhoff knew where the rest of the guardians were, and none of them had moved houses, things would be easier. But I guessed things would no way be that easier. Since I'd quit the guardian job, to the time Percy got locked in that cage, it was at least one year. One year was long enough for Percy to act and adjust his guardian disposition.

Oh, so I'd known Nikita for more than one year? I was sure I was smiling like an idiot once again.

Then I pulled myself back to the proper business. Even if guardians had already left their old places, there could still be some clues, which were my starting point before any better clues came out. And I had to speed up, or these clues would lose their value.

The next morning when I went upstairs to the living room, I saw Birkhoff sitting there.

So…he finished what he'd been up to?

I walked up to him, to confirm he was not in a too bad mood. "Hey, computer guy." said me.

He was watching news on TV, about that Dr. Francis.

"It's Birkhoff…" said him, "Seymour Birkhoff."

Whoa, he told me his name. That was nice. It seemed he didn't hate me that much now, as I thought no one would like to introduce himself towards a large parcel.

"Right, Seymour Birkhoff." I looked at him, "Nikita says you know where the other black boxes are. That true?"

"I know where they were." answered him, "Before Percy scattered the last three guardians to the wind. Johannesburg, Tokyo, and Rio."

Well, similar to my guesswork.

"Is that where you're going next?" said Nikita, who walked into the living room, wearing a…Well, anyhow I couldn't move my eyes away from her. She kept on, "Land of the lambada, crystal waters, white sands…"

Just then Michael came to the living room as well. The way he looked at Nikita made me feel that there was a kind of expectation.

"Sounds nice." Nikita smiled to Michael. And to me, that was a kind of hint.

"Yeah." answered Michael. And I thought he got Nikita's hint.

"First things first." I said, holding up the memory stick, "This is everything on the regimen. I pulled it off Mars' computer." I noticed Nikita's expression changed a little. "It includes a way to chemically detox. It's, uh…it's the answers I've been looking for." I said.

"You know it could take a while for all that to get out of your system." said Nikita, looking at Birkhoff, "Maybe you could stay here."

"Absolutely not." Birkhoff objected.

Absolutely not. That's exactly what I was thinking of. I watched Birkhoff walking past me, and wanted to give him a high-five for our same opinion. But I didn't do that after all.

"Yeah, it's, uh," I turned to Nikita, "probably better I get clean on the road."

Nikita didn't say a word, just lowered her head.

"The longer I wait, the colder those guardian trails get, you know." I seemed wanting to smile again, seeing her like that.

"Good luck." Michael walked to me, and shook hands with me. I guessed that was a sign that he no longer hated me. I didn't know what I'd done, but whatever that was, it worked.

"Yeah." I said to him.

Then Michael walked away, which surprised me. I watched him walking out of the living room, and turned around to Nikita. She was smiling at me, and then I understood Michael's behavior. Was that a kind of trust? It's just…that trust…I didn't know if I deserved it.

I smiled too, and walked to her. She lowered her head, and took a deep breath. "Owen," she was looking at me in a very sincere way, "If you ever need anything…"

Considering this might be the last time I could see her, I decided not to force myself to move my eyes away from her, and I tried to blink as less as I could. I held her hands, tightly. "I'll be around. Okay?" I took up her words.

In fact, I wanted her to comprehend my words in another way that if she ever needed anything, I would be around, though I knew she would no longer need my help, which meant I no longer had the chance to see her again.

I didn't know why I was still smiling when I was thinking of this.

_And Nikita said till now she would still sometimes feel uneasy because of me, as she always could not sense the real happenings through my expression, which made her unable to know if there was anything bad, or if things were getting serious, which was just something Nikita had been used to being aware of._

_"Maybe you need to change your habit." said me._

_"Why you're so sure it is not you that need change?"_

_I thought for a while, and felt it was difficult to answer this question, so I did what I'd been used to doing: throwing the question back to her. "Then why you're so sure it is not you?" asked me._

_She got choked. I guessed she didn't know how to answer this either._

_"Yeah, you don't know why, right? So, just change it." Then before she had the chance to reject, I blocked her mouth with mine._

"OK." Nikita nodded.

I loosened her hands, and put my hand on her shoulder. I let my eyes remain on her for several seconds more, and then I turned around, left the house with my guns. Through a hidden path, I went to the main road.

Not really my previous plan, but I got a lift back to the city. Lift was not our conventional way of act, and…I'd really not been confident that I could actually get a lift. However, there was no car parking here that I could drive right away, and having the driver dealt with after stopping a car was really the last choice I wanted to make, that would be so much easier for me to do though.

But to much of my surprise, getting a lift was not that difficult. A truck picked me, and the driver wearing exaggerated whiskers had a very joyful conversation with me about his family. Well, okay, it was him that was talking all the way, while I, as always, was being a listener. He kept talking so much that I guessed he perhaps had not talked for a year. I actually barely had the chance to open my mouth.

He told me that after being on the go for a whole week, he could finally go home.

"Excited, huh?" said me.

"Yeah, of course." answered him, "I can't wait to see him! Trust me, young man, you'll love the feeling!"

"Yeah…" I answered with a smile. I didn't know what I really wanted to express. I just really wanted to feel that feeling.

But I didn't think I had that chance.

Heh…damn it, Michael, you got the luck…


	35. Searching

I got off the truck and went directly to the airport, taking the earliest flight to St. Petersburg. Then I went to Ari's place after I landed, no need to cover my eyes this time.

"Welcome back, Mr. Elliot." Ari was sitting in his chair, looking at me, "How's everything going?"

"Not bad." answered me, sitting faced with him.

"I trust the equipment we provided you with proved satisfactory?"

"Guns worked fine."

"You were able to get the information you required?" asked Ari.

I knew he was talking about the black box, but somehow I wasn't planning to let him know the exact proceeding. All he needed to know was the result, when I found the boxes and destroyed them. The consideration of mine was, if I told him the information of the box, he would be interested in how I'd got it, which would lead to Nikita, and that was the last thing I wanted to see happen.

"I have what I need to come off the regimen…" said me, "No side effects."

"I'm glad to hear that. Health is everything." said Ari, but then he changed his tone, "Tell me, is Nikita in good health?"

Shit…he knew…

"I don't know what you're talking about." I stared at him. Bad lie. I knew that. Maybe I didn't intend to lie at all.

"Please, Mr. Elliott, we're all friends now."

"This is a business arrangement." I thought there was something that needed to be clarified.

"Well, our arrangement concerns the black boxes. We heard a rumor that Nikita has one." said Ari.

Heh, Gogol did have a well-deserved reputation. They'd already investigated this. But…there was one thing good, that they really could do something in helping me locate the rest of the boxes in a short time.

"Can you verify that?" Ari kept saying.

"She doesn't." answered me.

I knew Ari wouldn't buy it. He would anyway verify that by himself, and that was exactly the thing I wanted to prevent.

I leaned forward, so that he could see my eyes more clearly. "And if you do anything against her, I'll kill you myself." said me.

Ari was just smiling at my threat, while the big guy behind him already got his gun loaded. However Ari stopped him. I gave that guy a hard look, and then sat back to the normal posture.

"I like you, Mr. Elliott." Ari was still smiling, "You're very direct. Allow me to be direct in return. Gogol will fund your search for the remaining guardians. You will destroy their boxes, and then…"

"Percy will die." I took up his words. "And you're gonna help make it happen."

"But anything outside those parameters is out of my control." said Ari, looking at me in the way I really hated. "As you said, this is a business arrangement." he added.

I frowned, guessing what Ari would do to Nikita. Besides to find the black boxes, seemed I'd got another mission, which is still in the activated state now by the way: protecting Nikita.

Then I left Ari's place and went back to my safe house. Everything remained the same as when I'd left here. I threw my package onto the bed, together with myself.

I'd given the regimen-related things to the Gogol people already, but it took more for the guardian thing. The operation of Gogol's searching system needed me to be there personally, and I could only do very few things here in my own house.

And I guessed we'd reached a mutual agreement, that I would not tell them any information about guardians until they gave me the antidote which could pass my test and achieve the effect I wanted. Then I would start my work.

That was the way our business was going.

That was to say, there were at least a couple of months during which I had to carry on my blind search with any possible lead.

Rio, Tokyo, Johannesburg…According to the opinion of Nikita, these seemed to be some very good places. Hah…I was thinking of her again.

I laughed stupidly for a while, and then got up from the bed, starting to sweep the house. After that, I took off my clothes and threw them to the washing machine.

After a shower, I put on the clothes which Nikita had washed for me, on which there still remained her smell, well, at least I insisted so.

It was dinner time already. Gotta get something to eat.

I thought of what I'd eaten in Birkhoff's house. Nikita had used to take care of herself only, but things were different in that house. That guy who seemed to be born holding a computer would definitely feel physically upset when he was away from the computer for 5 minutes, which time was no way enough to get a dinner prepared. As for that guy who'd been nesting in Division for at least 10 years, well…nothing on him gave me a "I'm good at cooking" signal. I had wanted to verify that, but failed to find a chance.

Anyway, it was without doubt that Nikita needed to now and then take care of at least three person's meals, besides taking care of all those black box things. All of a sudden I felt a sort of exhaustion that I didn't know came out from where. Meantime, my heart seemed to start aching.

I opened the refrigerator and got out the milk. There was not much food storage, guessed I needed to go out for a shopping. Then I got out all my storage and started to cook. This place was too cold, so bread was not really my appetite. How about Nikita? Would she like bread? Heh…oh, seemed I found something to do during waiting time. I could have a good study on cooking, well, veggie cooking.

Hey, won't you feel weak, eating that kind of food all the time?

Nikita seemed to be okay with that. How could she make it? Ah…whatever, gotta buy a recipe by the way.

But it was obvious that Nikita was not in a as good state as in London. Not because of the vegetable, then why's that?

Yeah, she was tired, so tired. I could sense it from everywhere. Did Michael ever notice that?

Nikita was going after the black boxes, so was I. But Michael was going after the Oversight thing, so Nikita's target shifted to the Oversight thing. Yeah, should be like that.

So it was "Michael's operation, Michael's rules" already.

And I felt not so good with that.

I was kind of worried that Michael would not give up that target and take Nikita away. And I knew nothing about the target. Oh and, not just this one I didn't know about. Alex, what story did that girl have? Seemed I needed to find a lot of things out the next time I met her, if I got that chance.

I turned off the gas, and poured the food onto a plate. While eating, I was considering my next move.

I still had no idea how Division had fallen into Amanda's hand. Michael and Birkhoff seemed have left there before that, which meant none of them could help me figure it out. And Alex, seeing from now, Nikita had already lost her insider in Division. So, no one knew the exact condition of Percy at this moment, which meant I could not tell for sure whether Percy had contacted his guardians or did something like that in case of such emergencies before being imprisoned by Amanda.

I had a careful recall of the guardian protocol, and was sure there was no such condition in it specifying what to do in such occasions. Percy had been quite self-confident back then. And Birkhoff hadn't even known about the whole guardian thing. None of us had known this, as we were all excluded in his establishment.

Oh wait, is it possible that…

I stopped chewing the food.

Was it possible that all guardians' places Percy had recoded in the system were actually incorrect? Nikita had told me that Michael and Birkhoff had once found information of me in Percy's computer. Then according to his working style, he would very likely change the guardians' places without updating the records, especially after what had happened in London.

Well then…

First I needed to confirm whether there had been a guardian in each city. Oh shit, after I eased the headache. I stood up to get the regimen. It was running low again. You better get hurried, Gogol. I didn't have much patience.

I swallowed the pills and the remaining food, and then turned to my laptop, starting the search.

First one was Johannesburg.

If there was a guardian in this city, where would he pick as his safe house?

So…the banks, transportation…oh here's a shopping mall, Nikita would like that…Um, back to the business okay?

Yeah, these places seemed to meet the requirement. And the satellite, guessed it was just similar. Maybe later I'd go there checking the major mobile communication service provider.

Oh, this restaurant seemed good. Lots of vegetables. Uh…was I supposed to be checking the escape routes? Yeah…good restaurant…

…

Then one week passed. I did the same thing with Tokyo and Rio after the first-round search of Johannesburg. Only my efficiency was becoming lower and lower, and it nearly took me 3 times longer time to make the final conclusion.

I was frowning at my records, wondering how this would happen. Then I realized the reason.

Compared with the records of the possible areas where guardians would be, notes about clothes shops, veggie restaurants, carnies, seaside spots and so on were taking up the most room of my notebook. And within a week, I'd bought so many cookery books which if being piled up together would reach 1/3 height of Daniel. Then I just spent most of my time on studying and trying all kinds of new recipes.

Hah, that's how I got slowed down so much.

In the following search for other places, there was no any improvement of my working efficiency. I didn't really know it was a good thing or not.

_"You still don't know yet?" asked Nikita once when she was lying in the couch while her head on my leg._

_"Seemed good," I rubbed her hair, "saving me a lot of time." Then I opened my notebook, in which there were all scratchy notes about many places I'd written. I was kind of trying to decrypt them, and asked her, "Where are we going in October?"_

_"I don't know." said her, "I can't even recognize them."_

_"Then pick one in random." I handed the book to her, and cover her eyes with my hand. She pointed at place casually, and gave a tender punch on my chest._

The search till this moment gave me a subtle feeling of contradiction. According to Nikita, Percy was being locked up in a cage that no one else knew except Amanda. But his guardian system was just as normal as always. But operation of any system needed periodic maintenance. When I had been in Montreal, how many times Percy had called me? Then I couldn't help thinking of Emily, together with whom was a sort of apology. I let out a sigh.

_Even after a long time, when I thought of Emily, I would still feel the same feeling._

_"I understand. Maybe it's just like when I think of Daniel." said Nikita._

_"He'll forgive you." I said, "I mean…he'll wish that someone take care of you for him…maybe not me, someone else…"_

_"Why don't you think Emily would wish the same?" asked her._

_I looked up to the ceiling, not knowing how to answer her. That's what I usually would do when I didn't know how to answer a question. While Nikita, she would put her hand on my head and pressed it down to make me look at her._

_"Always easier to forgive others, right?" said her._

_"Ah…yeah…" said me. It seemed to be like that._

_"Then try harder."_

_"Yeah. You too."_

_Then Nikita smiled, so did I._

During my search, every time I thought of Emily, I was not able to dig deeper, and the clue then was cast off. So for a really long time, I'd been blind to one supposed-to-be-obvious matter.

While I was keeping searching, my phone rang. I picked it up.

"Hello." it was Ari, " Come to m office. You know how to get here."

"What is it?" asked me.

"Something you'll be interested." he said.

Then I hung up the phone and left for his office.


	36. Nightfall

When I arrived at Ari's office, he was sitting in his chair, playing a bottle of pill-like stuffs. I guessed I knew what that was.

"Antidote?" asked me.

"Uh-hum." Ari showed the bottle to me, "Told you you'll be interested."

"Thanks." said me, "Nice work."

"And what about yours?" he asked me.

"You'll see, after this works." I pointed at the bottle in Ari's hand.

"OK." He smiled, throwing the bottle to me.

"One pill a day, about three months and you'll get clean." said Ari, "That's what the materials say."

"If you made them strictly according to the materials." I said.

Ari smiled, and I picked out one pill, swallowing it.

"How does it taste?"

"Could be worse." I said, believing there was nothing wrong with it.

"Hehh…" Ari smiled again, "Interesting, Mr. Elliot."

"What?"

"Since this business started, I've been noticing it," Ari leaned his elbows against the table, "Aren't you concerned about the safety of what I offer to you?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Prescription is ready, adding any extra things to it could only cost more time and energy. You don't need go that way if you wanna me to disappear." I shook my head, "You can just ask your guy to send me little bullet after I destroy all the boxes. Same position, you and Percy, will do the same. Saving some cost, why not?"

"Hahh." Ari laughed, "Great to work with you. Your direct saves me a lot of time."

"You too." said me, "One month. If I get clean, no side effects, I give you all the information, and you decide whether to give me a higher clearance level."

"OK." Ari nodded his head.

Then I left there with a casual "goodbye".

I had another careful study on what I'd brought from Mars' clinic after I got back to my safe house. Whoa, seemed there was going to be a tough month. Adverse reactions to the mixture of two drugs, severe headache, vomiting, muscle spasm, or the whole body like being worn out. Together with these adverse reactions was my everyday's high-intensity physical exercise, so that I could still maintain my stamina in the similar level as a guardian's after I got clean.

That was how I went through the month. Oh and, sweeping the house was always included in my everyday's to-do list.

It was actually a hard time, but I made it after all, supported by a hope that was actually not so practical. A hope that if I got clean, and became a normal person, maybe I would had the qualification to… I usually stopped my thinking here, because by here I was already starting to laugh, stupidly, not caring whether I was suffering or not.

_"They're all true?" Nikita once asked me when seeing the instruction of how to take the antidote, "I mean, all these reactions."_

_"Pretty much." I shrugged my shoulder, but then revised my word after seeing her expression. "Well, not like that overstated."_

_"Still not even thought about coming to me?" she was blaming me with her eyes._

_"Yes…" I said, "…a part…"_

_"Which part?"_

_"You." I answered, "I've thought about the 'you' part. Just…not about going to you." I knew I was showing her that asking-for-a-good-beat face again, because she proved it with her action. And the only thing I could do was telling her that I would never ever hide anything from her in the future, which she actually didn't believe at all._

_"Seems I have to never let that kind of things happen." said her._

_And I could answer nothing but holding her tightly in my arms._

After a month, judging from my condition, I thought I almost made it. I didn't need to take the regimen, I didn't need to take the antidote, and I didn't feel headache. I had to sleep at least 6 hours a day. And, one thing I was reluctant to admit, however hard I tried, my fist no longer had the same strength as before, or the same speed.

Yeah, I was already an ordinary person.

I finally reached my goal, but…I didn't feel any sense of achievement. I didn't see any good point in this "change", but instead a fear, of the decrease of my ability to protect Nikita.

Shit.

_"It's really so bad? Being an ordinary man?" asked her, "Nothing positive?"_

_"No…" I answered, "except that I could marry you."_

_I thought she would give me a punch, but she didn't._

_"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked her. When she was being like this, she usually was angry, for real._

_"Daniel and Emily…" she said in a serious way, "you know in their eyes you are a super dad?"_

_"Really?" I asked, kind of surprised. I'd never thought I could get such a high-level evaluation, especially not from Daniel._

_"Hah…" she shook her head with a sort of "you're no way to be saved" expression on her face. And she didn't look at me any more._

_While I was lying in the couch, laughing like an idiot, enjoying the feeling of lying in the clouds high above the sky, and then I thought of another thing. I sat up and tapped on her shoulder._

_"What?" asked her._

_"So what about in your eyes?"_

_"Idiot." She pressed me back to the couch again._

Well, anyway Ari had already fulfilled his promise. My turn now.

Within this month, while I was fighting against the regimen, I also marked all possible banks in three cities where the black box would be. I handed them to Ari.

"So…" said him while reading my notes, "these can tell us…"

"Box's either in one of them," said me, "or in none of them."

"There are so many of them…" said Ari, "Mr. Elliot, are you telling me to go to each bank's counter and ask them if there was a man that once deposited a…"

"Hack into their surveillance system." I broke in, as I could not tolerate his way of speaking, like he was talking to a fool. "Guardians will pick a bank with advanced facility. Unfortunately, surveillance system of such banks will also be advanced, which is no good. In usual cases, this is not a problem." I shrugged, "But now it is not a usual case."

"And?" asked Ari. His face was turning serious.

"Guardians need go to the bank periodically for data updating, usually three weeks to one month. Hack into their database and find the graphic information of the past three years. Compare them and you'll find the one you're looking for. Don't tell me Gogol can't do face or pace recognition."

Ari smiled, and lowered his head a little. I knew he was considering my words seriously.

"It's easy, to spot the guardian among these people, if I am the one that'll do it." I curled my lips, "If I find out all guardians, I'll then find their bank account information. It's better that they are still where they were. Doesn't matter if they are not. We can trace them by their accounts."

"How long do you think it'll take?" asked Ari.

"Two months, at most. I'll locate them." I said, "Premise is your men and machine cooperate."

"Heh…" he nodded with a slight smile.

Soon a man with glasses led me to another room.

"Here's the computer." said him, sitting in front of it. "I'll give you an account with a certain clearance level as Ari's command." he looked at me, "Then I'll tell you how to use the Gogol searching system: Ninja Eyes."

"Ninja Eyes…" I repeated the words with knitted brows.

"Yes. I made it."

"Oh…" I said a shadowy syllable, while wondering if there always was such a pretentious human-computer in every such black-op program. Anyway, I was gonna spend a lot of time with him in the following days.

After two days, I started to operate the system independently.

"Wow, you're not dumb." he raised his glassed and said.

"Thanks." I answered, refraining from the impulsion to shut this human-computer down, for good.

The next things to do were kind of monotonous. Exporting data, searching for target, sampling and comparing, and acquiring the target…I didn't know how much time a day I was sitting in the room in front of the computer.

Once when I prepared to leave, the human-computer said, "Division's medicine is really cool."

"What medicine?" asked me.

"I heard you've been taking it, making you stronger, better or something." he adjusted his glasses.

"I am not taking it any more." I shrugged my shoulder.

"Wow! Then how can you focus for so long a time?"

"Oh?" I stopped. I had actually not realized this myself. And when I was trying to figure out how, I saw a face that drove me to laugh like a fool. Then I walked out the room in the confused eye watching of the human-computer.

_"Focus?" Nikita said afterwards, "One brain cell, need focus?"_

Then one day, I saw on screen a man putting a black box into his pocket. "Gotcha!" I exhaled a breath.

"That's the box?" asked him.

"Yeah. According to the safe's check in and out record…" I said, "Patrick Miller. That's the name." I kept typing on the keyboard, trying to search for more information of this man.

He'd cancelled the safe in Johannesburg…that was three months ago. Weird, Percy had already been in the cage back then. And…the airline company's tourist registration showed…Miller had transferred to…France, not long ago. And his safe house in France was in…Colmar of Alsace.

Got it.

I told Ari my result.

"Get the guardian and his box." said Ari, "I'll assign you a team."

"OK." I said. Considering I was no longer a "monster", it was better to have some back up for the sake of the success of the mission.

I tidied up my house again before I left. Taking what I'd seen in Birkhoff's house for reference, I bought something like bedsheet, quilt, washcloth and women's clothes to store in my house, thinking that maybe someday Nikita would need them. That was not very likely though.

Then I took Gogol's plane with a Gogol team to France.

Soon we located the guardian's safe house, and I disposed the team according to the house's possible inner structure. Then we waited for the night's coming, which was our action timing.

However, when we got to the fazenda where the guardian was supposed to be, it was all dark in the house.

Kidding me…? No way…

I commanded the team to enter the house and searched every room as we'd deployed. But nothing. There was nobody, nothing. It was way too unreasonable, but true.

"Stop. He's not here." I took off the helmet, "The guardian's not here."

Ari was soon informed of the situation and was coming here at the fastest speed.

It was better for me to find anything valuable; otherwise I would fall down to the passive position in the business between me and Gogol. I had to prevent that happening. But…I found nothing. The house was just empty; the bottle of regimen was just empty.

I called Gogol's human-computer, "Really? His account is still activated?"

"Yes." answered him.

Account remained, but he was not here. Weird…

I heard foot steps behind me when I was standing there, trying to figure out the whole thing. I turned around, and saw Ari.

"I take it our target wasn't present." said him, in a rebarbative tone.

"He cleared out recently."

"Hmm, near miss." Ari said.

I didn't pay attention to the ironic meaning in his words, and said, "I don't get it. All the signs were right, shadow bank account, movement patterns. A guardian should have been here."

"Perhaps he took a trip, a weekend getaway."

"Guardians don't take trips." said me, "They don't do anything but stay at their posts and guard their black boxes."

"Well, you're the expert…" said Ari, "Not that we have anything to show for that."

"You got something to say?" I finally heard the unpleasant content in his words.

"Just that our business arrangement hasn't been very good business, Mr. Elliot." said him, "Gogol has given you time, money, resources, and what have you given us? The limited pleasure of your company?"

"Look, I…I…" I tried to say something.

"No more excuses, Mr. Elliot." He stopped me, "You will find and destroy the remaining black boxes. I expect proof of real progress that time…you may consider our business up for review." Then Ari walked away.

Shit…

I felt really awful. I had no idea why all right signs would lead to a wrong result. And what next? This guardian kept his bank account. And there was not any record showing that he'd already left this area…I returned to my safe house with a frown almost all long the way, and I didn't think there would be any better change to my mood. But soon I found I was wrong.


	37. Visitor

**Thanks for your review Alexandra Udinov, and glad to know you like the fic. It's been quite a time I haven't updated it. Guess I'm back now :)**

* * *

><p>I didn't know when I got back to my safe house, but just opened the door and walked in, throwing my key to the table.<p>

But instinctively I sensed something wrong. Some slight sound came from back of the cabinet. With a plate I grabbed flying to that place, I saw a shadowy figure quickly moving out. I ran up to him and grasped him by the throat, so did him. It was so dark in the house that I didn't recognize it was actually a "her" until we moved to a little brighter spot. Then I saw a face that couldn't be more familiar, and I realized I could've not greeted her in such a manner.

"Nikita! What are you doing here?" I asked, too surprised to loosen my hands around her neck. It was already a sort of conditioned reflex to ask her such a question when seeing her again, but by the dim light coming in from the window, I saw on her face a not really pleasant expression.

"Gogol?" she yelled at me.

"Hold on." I finally let go of her. I didn't know what she'd seen or thought, but there was something I needed to explain to her.

"Ari Tasarov?" she also loosened her hands around my neck, but hit me in the chest with her full strength.

""It's not what you think." I was trying to explain.

"Really? 'cause what I think is that you are working with a Russian black-ops group whose top priority is killing me!" she was questioning me, and pointing herself with her last sentence.

I could feel her anger was unbridled enough to drive her mad. I'd guessed that she would be angry if she knew of my business with Gogol, but I could never expect her anger would be so unrestrained, and Nikita would be in such a hysterics.

_Later she told me the reason. She said after all the things that had happened to everyone around her, that Alex worked with Amanda, Michael went to London, Ryan killed by Division (she believed so), and Birkhoff got hurt with his hand, she would probably break down if there was something happening to me._

_"Sorry to treat you as the bottom line." said her._

_"That's okay." I squeezed her cheek, "To me it's not a bad thing."_

_"Why?"_

_"You already reached the bottom line, means you wouldn't go look for someone else." I answered, shrugging my shoulder._

"I know this looks bad," said me, making a gesture, tying to calm her down, "but Ari wants Percy dead just as much as we do."

She turned around, not saying a word. I guessed that was a sign that she decided to listen to me.

"I'm not working with Gogol, Nikita. I'm using them." I kept saying.

"Oh, where have I heard that before?" she murmured.

"Nikita, I would never let them hurt you." said me, "I made it very clear. They even breathe in your direction, I'm ripping their heads off, starting with Ari." Maybe out of being desperate to explain, I said these words without a second thought, and I didn't even get red in the face.

Nikita didn't say anything. Maybe she was just like me, never expecting that I would say such words to her, so she didn't know how to react to that. But as she told me later, she would always feel warm when thinking of these words. And to me, silence was probably the best reaction, because I then could quickly shift the topic to another one before she had the chance to think of more on this kind of awkward topic.

"Now, really…" I said, "what are you doing here?"

"I need your help." She said in a low voice, walking nearer to me.

"You do?"

"To get a black box. I lost mine…"

"Lost it?" I was surprised, "How?"

"Amanda." answered her.

"Amanda? What do you mean?" I was much more surprised now.

"I had a deal with Amanda…" she lowered her head, "using the black box to…exchange…something else…"

"Something else?"

She looked at me, with an expression that...kind of begging me not to ask further.

"Fine." I stopped asking, and saw her breathing a slight sigh.

Then I suddenly realized I'd not turn on the light yet, and…seemed something else also.

"Ah…wait a minute." I went to the kitchen after I turned on the light in the living room, "When did you get here?" I asked her while I was getting out a bottle of milk from the refrigerator and then I poured the milk into the pot, and heated it.

"Two hours ago. Why?" asked her.

"Not had the supper yet?"

"Hmm?" she looked at with an expression that made me feel she'd never been asked such a question before. "No…" she said.

I guessed so.

"Drink this." I poured the heated milk into a glass and gave it to Nikita, "It's cold here."

"Thanks." she picked the glass. Just then I noticed her left hand.

"What happened to your fingers?" I asked her, looking at her left hand.

"Nothing." she just shook her head, putting her hand down under the table so that I couldn't see it.

I frowned at her, seemed there were lots of things I needed to ask about. Our meet was so violent that I hadn't even realized that Michael was not here with Nikita. Where was him? But I guessed asking this question would definitely ruin the atmosphere here. So…maybe leave it later. After all there was a lot more preparation work for me to do, this question could wait.

"What are you doing, Owen?" Nikita asked me while drinking the milk, while I was walking back and forth in and out the bedroom after rummaging around in the refrigerator.

"Uh…nothing. Just a little preparation." answered me.

"Preparation for what?"

""For making this place more like somewhere a guest would like to come." I thought it was almost done, and had a look at my watch, "OK. Now I'll go for a shopping. Maybe you can take a shower after milk. Bathroom is over there." I pointed to a room, "The towel is already in there, and some clothes too. Change yours, if you need to…" I kept saying without caring about her surprising and frowning expression, "Oh and, though not really possible but…I left you a gun in the bathroom. Shoot if anyone but me breaks in." Then I raised my head, looked at the ceiling, and realized it was not so correct, "Um…if it's me, maybe you should shoot as well…"

She smiled. So did I. Difference was, she smiled beautiful while I was an idiot.

"Be back soon." said me, and opened the door.

When I bought everything I needed within a shortest time and got back to my house, I saw the clothes she'd been wearing were left in the living room. She was still in the bathroom.

Then I saw her cellphone. Honestly I had a lot of things wanting to ask, but I knew she wouldn't tell me the answers, at least, not the real answers. So I guessed I needed to be "initiative", and maybe…inquire people that were with her or…should be with her. So I picked up her cellphone, found out Michael's and Birkhoff's number, and saved them in my phone. Finishing that, I started to prepare the dinner.

After a while, I heard the water stop in the bathroom. Well, good timing. Dinner's almost done, only…

I could not think any more when I saw her walking out of the bathroom.

"Uh…" I wanna remind her of something, but…the way she walked over, body covered by a bath towel, her hands rubbing her hair…I completely forgot what I wanna say.

"What's wrong, Owen?" asked her.

I still was in a blank.

"Hey…" she maybe thought I hadn't heard her, so she was intending to walk nearer to me.

"Wait. Stop." I lifted one hand and made a gesture to stop her moving.

"What's wrong…" she was totally confused.

"Wait a minute. I have something to tell you…" I lowered my head, "…just, give me one minute to think what it is…" I had a quick search in my memory base, and… "Ah, that's it! The hair drier is in the bathroom, with the clothes."

"Hah?"

"Yeah, that's it." I raised my head, "Have your hair dried. Dinner's in five minutes." I said with my hand waving like forcing her to be out of my sight immediately.

"O…kay…" she walked back to the bathroom, but turned around in the corner, "Oh by the way, Owen."

"What?" I tensed up all at once.

"Smells good." she smiled.

"Thanks."

I finally couldn't see her. I breathed with a relief.

Now everything was settled, just wait them to be boiled. Ah wait…seemed there was something else. What was that? Ah right, hand.

I went to where I was putting the injury-treating materials and brought any possible ones back to the kitchen. Nikita was already there with the clothes I'd put in the bathroom.

"Right size…" she looked herself in the clothes, kind of feeling unbelievable, "Owen, how did you…"

"Well, easy, actually." I looked at her, "Just like when you bought the ones for me, in your safe house." I shrugged my shoulder, curling my lips.

Nikita smiled with her head lowering. "You bought them already?"

"Yeah." I answered, putting the materials on the table.

"Why?"

"Because I was thinking that maybe one day you'll come to me and ask me to help you get a black box 'cause you lost yours."

She laughed. Sometimes when she laughed, you would have a wrong idea that there was nothing troublesome happening to her when actually there was.

"Oh and…sit." said me.

"What?"

"Hand. Left one." I reached out my hand.

"It's…fine…" she lowered her head.

"Just refreshing the bandage." I said, guessing it was clear to her that I would not ask any question. So she sat down and gave me her left hand. I had a rough check of her fingers, seeing the wound just starting to heal. Yeah, a lot of things had happened during this period.

I breathed a subtle sigh, and started to deal with the wound. "Tell me if it hurts." I said.

She nodded.

I had a look at her. Thinking of her style, I guessed it was better to strictly define the word "hurt".

"Nikita." I said.

"Yeah?"

"When I say hurts, I mean when you feel the hurt, not when you cannot bear it. Got it?"

"What?" she got stunned for a second, and then smiled, "Yeah, got it."

Anyway when I was dealing with the wound, she kept all silent.

"Done." said me.

"Thanks." she looked at me, smiling.

"What?" I asked her, whiling collecting the materials.

"Nothing, just…it's kind of familiar…" she shrugged, "only we changed the roles."

I got what she meant, our first time meet, and what'd happened in her safe house. "Yeah," I smiled, "time for me to pay back."

She was about to say something when the timer started ringing.

"Oh, dinner's okay." I said, walking to the kitchen.

"Never expected you can cook."

"Really? Why not?"

"I don't know." She shrugged, "You don't look like a cook."

I passed the plate to her and said, "Don't look like? So what kind of person look like a cook? You?"

She smiled.

"Have a taste. Potato salad and mushroom soup." I said, "It's a little bit hot. Be careful."

"OK." said her, having a sip of the food. While I was standing there, kind of like waiting for some testing results.

"Wow. It's great."

"Really?"

"Really!" said her, with her thumb up.

"Hoo…" I breathed with a sigh of relief, and then started to eat mine.

"Really, where did you learn this?" asked her.

"Everywhere." I shrugged, "Except Division."

She smiled again. And I didn't know why but I liked to watch her eating. So I just kept watching and forgot to move my eyes away before she sensed something wrong. Ah…how could I forget that?

"Owen? What are you looking at?" asked her.

"Oh, nothing…" I lowered my head, trying to find something else to do. I saw the bowl of soup, so I picked it up.

"Hey, it's hot!" she grabbed my arm.

With her instant help to hold me back, I only took one sip of the soup.

"Are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm cool. Hoo…" I gasped for some cold air to ease the heat in my mouth.

"You're weird today." said her.

"I am?" I raised my head, kind of afraid that she would probably find out something. "Maybe I am weird everyday."

Her smile made me relieve.

"How did you get in touch with Gogol?" she asked me.

"Hah…"

"What?"

"I bet you must've heard saying like 'no business at the dinner-table'."

"So…" she looked at me, raising her eyebrow.

"So, no Gogol, no Division, no black boxes." I pointed at the plate in front of her, "Just focus on them. Now eat."

She answered me with a chuckle, and went on eating the food.

I knew she was still concerning about the "business", but I wanted her not to , at least not during this dinner time.

"Ah, wait me for a sec." I came up with something that might help.

"Where are you going?"

"Find something to liven up the atmosphere here." said me, moving the all new TV set to where it was the best sight for Nikita.

"TV?"

"Yeah." I turned it on, "I'm sure you never watched other channels except for news channel." I was shifting the channels with the remote.

"Guess you too." said her.

"Yeah." I picked a channel with some soap opera, and threw the remote to Nikita, "Division never told me this kind of stuff is mainly for entertainment instead of intel-collecting."

"No Division at dinner-table." smiled her, "You said that."

"Hah…" I lifted my hand up, admitting myself beaten.

From her eyes, I could see that Nikita liked those family-related shows. And that kind of eyesight, when seeing that, I bet no one would not devote himself in getting her a family, whether it was actually possible or not.


	38. Serenade

After dinner, Nikita wanted to do the cleaning but got rejected by me. "Hey, fingers."

"So…can we talk now?" she said to me when I was washing the plates.

I put down the plates, thought for a while, and went on washing them. "Hah…business time finally, huh?" I said, still standing with my back to her.

"Yeah. So when did you get to Gogol? And…why Gogol?"

I lowered my head, "Not long, after you left London."

"Then P9…you already…"

"yeah…" I nodded, turning off the water. Then I turned around to her.

"I should've thought of that..."

Her expression made me desperately want to explain, but somehow I didn't know what I could say.

"So when you refused to go back with me in London, and when you refused to stay in Birkhoff's place, you already had the plan…"

"Nikita." I broke in, "I wasn't planning to work with Gogol when you just left London. It was after that. I thought of Gogol because of a previous mission of Division. I, I thought I could use them. It was just a sudden idea…I couldn't go with you, Nikita, not at that time. You got something to do, while I was…I was a monster without the regimen, much more dangerous than Division. I could not allow myself to be your distraction, you know…not to mention that…" I stopped.

"Not to mention what?"

"Nothing." I said, kind of relieved that I held back the sentence "not to mention that you were already with Michael".

"Look, things are not that bad, are they?" I was trying to find out some positive points, "I got clean from the regimen, and we can now go looking for the rest of the boxes."

She frowned at me for a while, and then walked back and forth in the house.

"Nikita, it's not as bad as you think. I know Gogol's supposed to be the enemy, but that's when we were with Division. The sides aren't the same anymore."

"Gogol is dangerous." said her.

"That could be good for us." I said, "Nikita, we don't have a lot of friends left."

"You think you're the first person who's tried to take advantage of them?" she walked nearer to me, "Percy tried it. Even he got burned."

"What do you mean Percy got burned?"

She turned around, apparently not wanting to continue this topic.

But I insisted. "What are you talking about?" asked me.

She hesitated for a second, and finally answered, "Operation Pale Fire. Division collaborated with Sergei Semak to kill Nikolai Udinov and his family."

"Pale Fire?"

"It was the first time I ever defied my orders. I saved the daughter, Alexandra."

"Alexand…" when repeating the name, I suddenly got her point. I stopped, and she apparently could see that I'd already realized the truth. She lowered her head down. "Alex? Your partner?" I asked.

She turned around again, standing with her back to me.

"That's why she's working with you to take down division…"

"Well, her focus has shifted. She's headed somewhere dark, and I'm as much to blame for that as anyone." said her.

"Why doesn't she trust you anymore?" I asked her. Actually I'd wanted to ask this question long ago. Now I knew Nikita had been in Operation Pale Fire, so was it because…

Nikita just had a look at me, shook her head, and then moved her eyes down to the floor. Her reaction let me know that I might guess right. But I didn't think it was a convincing enough reason for Alex to turn against her. Nikita hadn't turned against me, less possible for Alex to turn against Nikita. However it was not a good timing to talk about such a heavy topic.

"All right." I raised my hands, meaning not to ask any more, "You take the bed. I'll take the couch."

Nikita looked at me.

"If we're gonna take down Gogol, we're gonna need our rest…" I continued, "Or at least I will. Ever since I got off the regimen, I sleep all the time."

She smiled, "Human again, huh?"

"Oh, yeah. It kind of sucks."

She chuckled and walked up to me. And as usual, I laughed with her, like an idiot.

"Oh, and just to be clear, Gogol is not the priority anymore. Black box is." she said to me, kind of serious. So was I, and nodded my head.

"You said you got near a guardian. What happened to him?" asked her.

"I don't know. But whatever he's up to can't be good."

"What do you think he's up to?"

"I don't know." I said, "The way he is moving now has completely gone out guardian's protocol. I've no idea what's his next step."

"You still like to judge with the protocol."

"Yeah." nodded me, "Looks more professional."

Nikita smiled again, seemed she still wanted to say something. But I thought this business topic was supposed to end.

"Wait a sec. I'll go tidy your room." I said, and walked into the bedroom.

I moved all my stuffs from the bed out to the sofa in the living room, and got out from the cabinet some new bedclothes for Nikita.

"You…" she walked into the bedroom and said, "prepared all these too?"

"Yeah. I was thinking that if you came to me and asked me to get a box, one day might be a little hasty."

She answered with a smile.

"Go wash up." I said, "It'll all be ready when you are back."

"Okay." said her, but not moving at all.

"Anything else?" I asked.

"No…just, I don't remember last time when someone did this for me…"

"Oh um…" I smiled, "maybe you can think again while you are washing your face."

She did as I suggested, curling a smile and walking out of the bedroom. While I was watching her entering the bathroom, a slight sigh escaped my lips.

Finishing the bedroom, I put a pair of pajamas beside the pillow, and went outside to go on dealing with my couch. Soon I heard her walking out of the bathroom.

I pointed to the bedroom with my chin lifting, and said to her, "It's done. Go to bed."

"OK." nodded her, "What about you?"

"Take a shower first. Good night." said me.

"Good night." she smiled, and went to the bedroom. She stopped at the door, "Oh and…"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks, Owen."

"Not at all." I shrugged, "I didn't say thanks last time."

She smiled and got into the bedroom.

I took a quick shower after settled my couch-bed. When walking out of the bedroom, I saw Nikita hadn't closed the door of the bedroom. I knew I got a little frowned. Nikita put down all her guard when being with me, and I didn't know whether I felt good or not towards that. It seemed that my mood had changed since some time back there that I didn't realized either.

I quietly walked into the bedroom. With the light coming from the living room, I saw her having a sound sleep. So I walked out and closed the door for her, and went to the couch.

Sitting in the couch, I looked around the empty living room. Then I didn't know why but stood up and walked to the bedroom again. I opened the door, looked inside, and saw Nikita sleeping there. Good. I walked back to the couch, sat down, and started to laugh. Only until this moment could I make sure that Nikita was here, for real. And only until this moment did I feel the excitement that I should've felt the second I'd seen her.

I could not fall asleep at all.

Besides the excitement, there were also a lot questions lingering in my head. How the box had got lost? Where was Michael? And Birkhoff? And the question I'd been trying to find out the answer all along: what was the story of Alex?

I should make clear of all these questions before she left here. Or maybe…if there really had happened something, could I make her stay? If I found the box and gave it to Nikita, my business with Gogol was kind of screwed, which meant I had to give up this safe house. My money was enough for me to get another house…Well anyway, I needed to figure all things out, in a way that Nikita wouldn't reject.

Undoubtedly, I had a sleepless night eventually. What's weird was, the next day, I didn't feel tired at all. It was the first time that I'd been like this without the effect of the regimen.


	39. In the Air

The next morning when I woke up-yeah, I didn't know when I'd finally fallen asleep for some short time, I didn't see Nikita appearing in the living room. Good, she was still sleeping.

I got up, had a rough washing of my face, and sneaked to the door of bedroom. Through a slight opening of the door, I saw her really lying there, and could not hold back my stupid smile again.

Time to do the breakfast!

To avoid the awkward situation like last night that I only watched her eating and didn't know what to do myself, I decided to cook the amount of food for her only, so that when she was eating, I could cook for myself which would definitely distracted my concentration from her.

When I was cooking, Nikita went out of the bedroom.

"Owen?" said her.

She looked in a good condition.

"Morning." said me, "Good timing. Go wash up and get back to the breakfast."

"Okay." She smiled, walking to the bathroom.

Whoa, her dressing really firmed my decision to let her eat first.

Soon she came back. I looked up to her and asked, "How's your sleep?"

"Good. Never expected I'd sleep so long." answered her. She told me later that she'd not had such a sound and relieved slept for a long time. She'd been used to sleeping with her guard on, but somehow that day when she was with me, she just felt safe.

I smiled, "That's how a normal sleep should be. You slept too little before."

She answered with a smile. And I passed a plate with food on it to her.

"Here." I said.

"What about yours?" asked her.

"Pan's too small to cook for two." I tipped my head, kind of satisfied with the excuse I'd made up. Then I started to cook for myself. "Just take yours. Taste best when it's still hot." I said to her, in case that she would wait for me.

"Okay." she had a bite on her lip and took the plate to the table. "Wow, what is it?" she had a taste of the food.

"Tofu scramble. Tarragon's the key, a little bit of saffron." I said, a little surprised to realize that my food was also finished already, "I love it."

"Owen," she sat down and finally concentrated on her food, "seriously, this…is so yum." she was smiling.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." nodded her, still smiling.

"Thanks." I said. Suddenly one thing that I'd been curious long before hit me and I decided not to hold any more. "What does Michael make for you?"

"It's been a long time since someone's made breakfast for me." She put down the fork and didn't look at me anymore.

I knew I did ruin the atmosphere, but I had to figure out this matter. As soon as the breakfast time was over, her focus would be all on the black box thing, and I would no way have the chance to ask about the others. After a short hesitation, I asked, "Speaking of which, where is your scruffier half?"

"He's figuring some stuff out." She answered after a second's thinking.

Figuring some stuff out?

Hah, what stuff would need to take him away from you?

Oh and…it seemed that I really should not ask her about this, cause I'd noticed that she already stopped eating.

"You want to call him?" I asked with a smile, trying to fix the atmosphere. And I did wish that whatever Michael's up to was not that serious.

She lowered her head for a while. When she looked up again, that was "I want you to tell me about this guardian."

Uh-oh. Apparently, that thing was even more serious than I'd thought. She didn't even want to talk with me about it. I had no choice but went on with her "topic".

"His name is Patrick Miller," said me, "according to the records at the bank where he stashed his box. I used Gogol's computers to scan accounts using my search parameters. I got to tell you, those Gogol techs…they could give your little guy a run for his money."

She got frowned.

"Anyways, we got a hit. By the time I got there, he had, uh, closed his accounts. Raided his farmhouse, cleared out."

"He left anything behind?" asked Nikita.

"Nothing. Place was clean."

"Well, we'll double-check. You don't know that." she said.

When hearing this, I felt that…this was exactly the Nikita I'd met for the first time. And I couldn't help starting to smile.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing…" I quickly changed my expression, "I just…I'd forgotten how bossy you can be. And…well…I kind of missed that."

"Shut up." She smiled, standing up with her plate, and then went to the kitchen.

"Something still bugs me." I followed her, grabbing a glass, "Guardians never leave their posts, not ever, unless they get a direct order from Percy."

"Well, Percy's locked up in division. He can't be doing that, not in the position he's in now."

"So how did Percy get in touch with his guardians?" I said, "Through what? Chatting program? Like the way you did with Alex?" Then I suddenly realized it was not really appropriated to use this analogy.

Nikita had a look at me and shook her head, "I don't know."

"Okay..." I said.

For the first time I found there were actually so many no-no's in our conversation. Last time when I'd talked about Michael, she would still make jokes with me, but right now all she's doing was to avoid the topic. I didn't like this, not at all. And I didn't think she would feel any better than me.

I knew her; she would always firstly escape from the things that she didn't know how to deal with rather than talk to other people for a solution. Yeah…that was also a kind of…"bossy" in another style, because she felt that talking to other people meant she needed them, which, I guessed, was exactly the thing that she's afraid to admit. That was never a good habit, and I wanted to change that.

"Your food is getting cold." she said to me, "Are you planning to finish them?"

"Hah…" I walked to the refrigerator, took out the milk and heated it with the pot, "One minute and drink it." I said to her and walked back to my seat, starting to eat.

"No need…I'm good." said her.

"Too late. It's already on the fire." I curled my lips, "You have to help me clean it up." I wouldn't ask for her opinion regarding such issues. Not having the appetite for food though, she would be fine with something to drink.

She didn't answer but had a bite on her lip. Guessed that was an acceptance.

After a moment, I poured the heated milk into a glass and gave it to Nikita. Then I brought a medicine-chest to the table. Her fingers still needed refreshing the bandage.

"Guess we are not likely to start off soon." She said while drinking the milk.

"Do you think the guardian would go back to that house? During this period?" asked me.

Nikita gave me a negative-meaning expression.

"So why are we hurrying?" I shrugged my shoulder, "Hand."

This time she didn't refuse but reached out her hand. Looking at the injury on her fingers, I was more curious to know what had happened during my absence. God, I had to figure it out.

"OK. We are ready to go." I said after finishing the treatment.

She nodded her head, stood up and packed some things up for the trip.

We went out of the house and I locked the door. And I took off one backup key and handed it to Nikita, "Here." Though I knew if she wanted to enter the house she actually didn't need this stuff. "Next time when you come, maybe you can choose an easier way."

She smiled, "Okay." Then she put away the key.

In the plane, Nikita was looking out of the window as she'd always done.

I reset my watch, and there was more than an hour before we got to Alsace, during which time we could do nothing that would help the "business stuff", and after we landed, maybe there would be no such spare time for us. So I decided to say something.

"Hey." I called her.

"Yeah?" she turned to me.

"I think there's something we need to talk about."

"What thing?"

"Well…technically, I don't know." I said.

She got frowned.

"Because I've got no idea what has happened to you guys." I looked at her.

"It's…nothing…"she turned her head back to other side.

"Hey," I said, "you wanna pretend there's nothing? Then pretend better." She had a look at me, and I kept on, "And try to make the person with you more cooperative."

She replied with a pale smile, eyes still moving to the other side. This time I didn't give her a way to escape. I closed the light shield. She had to turn back to me, kind of angry.

"Nikita," I said, "if you want to resolve the problem, you have to say it out. You can't just…like…hide it like this. I…" I stopped saying, and leaned my head on the back of the chair, staring at the top, and finally swallowed back the words like "I felt heartache watching you like this".

Some seconds passed, she started to talk, "Michael…is in London."

"London? For what?"

"He…has a son."

"A son?" It was quite a shocking word to people like me, as all words related to family barely had anything to do with us. "What's going on?"

"That was a mission…about 6 years ago…" her voice was like fading, "Family is too important to Michael. I can't…"

I got it.

The sentence "What about you?" was almost slipping out of my mouth, but I held it back. Then I reopened the light shield for her.

Well, the Michael thing was like this, and…Alex…Wait, these were the only problems? Something was not right. The first time I saw her, her attitude towards Michael was also a little bit…she'd not been like this at that time. Must be something else.

"Hey…" I called her again.

"What?" she looked at me.

In her eyes, again, I saw the exhaustion. I knew if I kept asking, it could only be worse. Well, maybe next time. "Nice weather." I said, instead of the real thing that I wanted to say, though I knew at this height, weather was always good. She apparently realized it as well, and looked at me with a confused expression. While I picked out a magazine and read it through casually.


	40. Are You OK?

**Thanks for your review, Julie.**

Answer your question: It's in the tv series that Nikita hurt her fingers. In S02E09, when Nikita went to look into the identities of Oversight members, she was found and chased by Sean and Sean's people. While running at the street, Nikita grabbed a basketball from a passerby to block Sean, and hurt her fingers when doing that. Actually Maggie really hurt her fingers; she fell off a ladder during the shooting and hurt her fingers quite seriously. Since Maggie's fingers had to be bound up, the writers thought it should be shown in the show thus they made Nikita hurt her fingers as well.

* * *

><p>We got a car after landing, and arrived at the guardian's farmhouse.<p>

"Nice place." said her.

"Yeah." answered me, "Would've never moved out so quick if I'd lived here."

She smiled, and then we entered the house. After a rough check, I found nothing different from the first time I'd been here. But Nikita apparently didn't think so, and investigated every spot in the house. However, she got nothing.

"I told you, I went through everything." I said to her, scratching my nose.

She was however not giving up. Just then she paid attention to the regimen bottles on the table in the kitchen.

"Regimen case. It's empty." I said, "I already checked it."

She picked up the case, like suddenly remembering something and she asked, "Owen, you said that Percy used to send you your supply of the regimen, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then where's the guardian getting his drugs from?"

Something hit me in a sudden. That matter was just what I'd been intentionally avoiding, cause when I'd thought about my conversation with Percy in Montreal, I would always thought of Emily, then I'd just stopped thinking. For all this time, I was blind to this matter.

"Can't be Percy." Nikita continued saying.

"It's not like ordering cough syrup." I said, "You can't just pick up regimen at the local drugstore."

"You need a specialist, a doctor or a chemist." said her.

"The notes I got from Dr. Mars' lab list the chemicals needed to make it."

"That's good. That gives us a shot at tracking anyone who's ordered shipments of them." said Nikita.

"It's a complicated trace." I was wondering the practical possibility of this idea, "He'd have to cross-reference a database of supply outlets with a list of scientists, legit, black market."

"Good thing you know someone who can do that." she weirdly smiled at me, "Like you said, they could give Birkhoff a run for his money, right?"

What? Wait a minute…

I saw Nikita walking to the door, seemed her check was over. I followed her out.

"Are you talking about Gogol?" I asked.

"That's right." she said, sounded like that was just the way things should be.

I knew she had such habits that what had got denied in the first place would very possibly accepted by her eventually. But this time, it really confused me. Last time she'd got pissed off because of my working with Gogol, but just after one night, she told me to use them. How could that even happen?

"Just so I'm clear, when I decide to use Gogol resources, I'm…I'm stupid. But when you decide to do the same thing, i…it's a brilliant plan?" I did have complaints about this thing.

"Hey, you're the one who made the deal with the devil. I'm just trying to get us the biggest bang for our buck." She said.

So she won, again?

_It seemed that similar things frequently happened, while I never won for even once._

_"Give up, dad." Daniel said to me when one day the same situation came up again, "Just stop struggling. You can't defeat mom."_

_And Emily was laughing and nodding her head, "I like to see dad lose."_

"Okay, but you said it yourself. Ari is dangerous." I caught up with her and said. I used my own intelligence and Gogol's weapon and men, but I never told Ari any of the clues or processes during my search. I only gave him the result. That was how I took advantage of Gogol, and I didn't wanna change that, too risky, especially when the black box would finally not fall into Gogol's hand. "W…what if he decides to use this info? What if he decides to cut me out of the process?" I kept on.

She stopped, "Which is why you're not gonna let that happen, and you're gonna go in person."

I didn't understand why she insisted that we count on Gogol. Since she was here, then why not ask that human-computer, uh no, Birkhoff, for help? I didn't understand why she was just so sticking to using Gogol.

"What about Birkhoff, huh?" I said, "Birkhoff could run this, couldn't he?"

Somehow she was kind of escaping from my eyesight, "Possibly, but not as quickly." Her voice got lower and lower.

What was it? I felt strange.

"This is…this data is Gogol's backyard." She had a look at me but quickly moved away, apparently not dare to remain her eyes on me for one more second. "It'll be at their fingertips…" she said, walking past me.

No…it's not right. Something was wrong. These reasons were all actually nonsense. I didn't believe them.

"And…" Nikita turned around to me, "Birkhoff needs some time to himself to recover…"

"Recover? From what? Gamer's thumb?" I'd never thought that Birkhoff would have some direct things to do with Division, so I said almost with a smile, never expecting that I was not able to smile just in one second.

"Amanda captured him, tortured him. She, uh…" Nikita lowered her head, "she crushed his hand." Nikita looked at the ground, not speaking any more.

Sure enough, Birkhoff was implicated. Was there anything else that she was hiding from me?

"You okay?" I asked.

"Fine." answered her, but not holding up her head.

Her lying skill was actually terrible, so I was kind of curious why she'd seldom got seen through.

"No, really." I walked one step nearer to her, not realizing this "one step" was actually too big until her head almost bumped me when she raised it. But I didn't care. The nearer to her, the clearer I saw the exhaustion in her eyes. "Are you okay?" I asked again, as genuinely as I could.

Nikita looked at me. I guessed my attitude made it hard for her to stall off me. "I don't know. I don't know…" she said, walking away past me.

My eyes followed her move.

"Every time I feel like…" she turned around, "I've got a handle on one part of my life, another part of it slips away…" she was even smiling, so bitter that it hurt, and so breathtaking. But it was good that she finally was talking to me. "I finally get Michael, and I lose Alex. We get the black box, and I lose Michael. It's like…rounding up marbles on a glass table. And if I lose focus for even one second, someone gets hurt…someone I love. Birkhoff…Ryan…"

Ryan? What had happened to Ryan? But before I had the time to think about this, my thinking ability was taken away by Nikita's words.

"Who am I gonna lose next? You?" said her.

Lose?

She was using this kind of word, for me? And…if I wasn't remembering wrong, the last sentence was "someone I love". Oh dear…I was in that classification? I knew it was not an appropriate timing for me to feel excited, but…OH MY GOD…

When I was still digesting my excitement, I heard Nikita saying again. "I'm so tired." she put her hand on her forehead, "I don't want to hurt anyone…anymore…" she was biting her finger, looking just like a little girl that had done something wrong.

I stepped closer to her. Honestly, I felt she was even too tired to stand there by herself. I really wanted to hold her in my arms, and I would probably do it if it was not because…hah, forget it…

"What do you want?" I asked her. In fact the answer was clear to me, but…

"I want to stop." said her.

Yeah, I was right. And finally I heard her say it out herself. I shook my head and take another step closer to her.

"I don't think you can." I said.

Shit, I actually wanted to say "Then stop it!". Maybe I was the one in the world that wanted the most to tell her to stop. But I couldn't. Nikita was already on the verge of collapse. If I said that, she maybe was not able to hold it anymore. She already lost her conviction in this persistent fight, and no one around her could give her a reason to stop. If she stopped, everything she'd done, or they'd done, would lost its significance, and she would definitely got to a dead end. It was not possible for her to stop at this moment. And all I could tell her was: Whatever you are fighting for, I am here with you.

"You have to help people. You have to stand up for those people who can't fight for themselves, because, Nikita, it's the right thing to do." I said, holding her on the shoulder. I didn't know what else to say besides what she'd ever taught me, because that was also the reason I was here doing what I was doing. "Division…they gave you a gift. When they gave you the ability to kill, they also gave you the ability to protect. You taught me that." I saw her expression getting a little eased. And I was trying my best to smile, which as she told me later, was just like I was comforting a little girl.

"I don't know if Michael's coming back…" Nikita turned to the other side, "I think…" she turned back again, "I don't know if Michael's coming back."

She already didn't know how to express her feeling, neither did I, or more. I didn't know what I should say or do to make her feel less tired and less sad, because I didn't know at all what was in Michael's mind. Why he'd just dropped Nikita alone?

"You know, if…" I said, kind of regardless of the consequences, "if he can't see what he left behind…well, maybe you shouldn't be together."

Saying out these words, I felt my heartbeat a little different. I stared at the ground, biting my lip. From the corner of my eye, I saw Nikita looking at me with a complicated expression.

_She said he'd never expected that I would say such words. Neither had I._

Counting my heartbeat to measure the time, I thought we were in the silence for about 30 seconds. The ground under my foot was already dug to a hole by me.

Still after a few seconds, I thought I'd finished adjusting my mood. I looked up and said, "So…what we do now?"

"Oh um…you go to Ari and…" answered her.

"We go to lunch." I broke in.

"What?" she looked surprised.

"Find a place nearby for lunch." I said, "I guessed we don't have time to go back cooking."

"Hey, I don't…"

"No. There will follow the continuous actions. Before that you need to get full supplied. Um…I remember there is a restaurant nearby called…" I walked past her, so she had to follow me.

After half an hour passed…

"I'm full, really. Can we talk about the plan now?" Nikita said to me who was just judging from the remaining food in her plate to see if she was "really full". And the conclusion made by me was yes.

"OK." I said. Before then, whatever Nikita had wanted to say, I would stop her within three words with a "lunch first".

"You go back to Ari, ask him to trace those leads. Got anything, tell me." said Nikita.

"And you go back to my safe house."

"Yeah…" she nodded.

"If I got something, I'll go get you from there."

"Or just call me."

I paused for a second, lowering my head and hesitating whether to accept her suggestion. I didn't really want to, but…maybe in case…

"Ah…" I said.

"What?"

"Clothes. This one…not so convenient, right?" I said. Oh of course I mean for missions. All good for other parts.

Nikita had a look at herself, and nodded a yes.

"Second layer in the wardrobe." I said, "There's a suit that may be better. You can take that."

"Owen, you..."

"We are running out of time." I stopped her, and quickly cleared my food.

She smiled, though not a happy smile but more like a "Fine, you win" one. But whatever. She smiled.

"So you remember how to get to my safe house, right?" I asked her when we were in the plane.

"Sure." answered her.

Then again I was buried in the seat, eyes hanging around at the top.

"Owen". I heard Nikita calling me.

"Yeah?" I sat up.

"Thank you."

"For what?" I felt a little confused, frowning at her.

"For what you said…" said her, "I feel much better now."

"Oh…" my eyes were still focusing on somewhere above, "don't thank me. Thank yourself. You taught me that."

She gave me a smile, and then turned her head to the outside of the window.

"Hey…" I suddenly came up with Ryan, maybe I could ask her about him by this chance.

"Yeah?" she looked at me.

Her expression was kind of relaxed, which made me hesitate. I didn't want to ruin this rare relaxation of hers, and…I didn't.

"Ah…nothing." I said.


	41. Default

We each got a car after getting off the plane, and went to where we'd decided. I wasn't driving too fast, because I wanted Nikita to have more time to rest. Besides, I was thinking about the possibility of the plan she'd said. I had a hunch, which was not so good. As far as I knew about Ari, he would definitely take as full advantage as he could of this piece of information, to strive for his initiative in this business. However, if I didn't do it, the guardian might just again disappear in the wind. Though I really wanted to abort the mission, I couldn't…

I breathed with a sigh. Since I had to carry out the plan, I probably also needed a backup one, in case the plan didn't go in the positive direction as I was wishing. And yeah, I knew what the backup plan would be.

I pulled up the car in front of the building in which Ari was setting his office. Having a look up there, I entered the building and took the elevator to Ari's office.

A Gogol agent wanted to stop me. I said, "I need to see Ari. It's emergency." while saying it, I didn't stop walking and pulled out all my pockets to show that I was unarmed.

At the door of Ari's office, I heard him talking inside there, "Sir, and I believe that in the right hands, a black box would be a very powerful weapon against them. It could be the key to ensuring Zetrov's future."

I got it. Ari did want the black box. Things were being more complicated now.

"I can get you a black box." I said, walking into his office.

I saw Ari hanging up the phone, kind of pissed and…recalcitrant.

Quarrel with the boss huh?

"What can you do?" Ari threw his phone onto the table and asked me, not a pleasant tone at all. I had expected that. With our last unpleasant cooperation, I would never look forward to a high five from him, not to mention that he'd just been blown up by his boss. "Another sightseeing tour de la France?" said Ari. Even in his eyes I could see the fire of rage, which I'd never seen on him before. Well, influential boss, could be a resource for me to use.

"I've got a lead of the regimen." I broke in.

"The regimen?"

"Right." I said, "Guardians all take the regimen. When Percy was running Division, he delivered the regimen periodically, and personally. Now Percy's got locked up, guardians would no way get the regimen from Percy's hand. They'll have to find someone nearby who can make it with the prescription. Could be a black-market doctor or chemist. It's not long since the guardian here closed his bank account. He would probably still go get the regimen from his supplier."

"You're sure about that?" Ari threw a glare at me, "I just don't think your credit is as convincing as before."

"Yeah. And if not hurry up, this lead is gonna lose its value, which will be a bigger loss to you."

"Okay." Ari smiled and asked his technical man to turn on the computer. "Go ahead." said him.

As was expected, the search was to be carried out just under Ari's eyes. Then I had to give him the result. So…I guessed it's time to end my business with Gogol.

"Western Europe," I said, "centers on Colmar." I got out the file about the regimen, "These chemicals, trace the records of all the supply outlets that have these chemicals. There must be an organization or individual that has bought all of them. Can't be an ordinary one."

"OK." said Gogol's human-computer, and then he input what I'd said into the computer.

I kind of didn't know what to do during this period, and was walking back and forth in the office.

I heard Ari picking up his phone. He was speaking Russian. I didn't turn around, but my ears were catching his every single word.

"Yes?" said Ari.

"Sir, this is the day watch at the mansion." said the other side of the line, "We registered an outer perimeter breach but it turned out to be a false alarm. An animal."

"Why are you telling me this?" Ari asked.

"You told us to keep you informed of every incident. You were very clear."

Ari's expression looked like the day watch man was making a long harvest for a little corn. But, I was more interested to know why he'd given them such an order.

"Sir, the search index is complete." said the human-computer.

I walked to the front of the computer, so did Ari.

"Based on chemical shipments, spider has turned up three leading chemists in the western European region. Uh, we have one in Cadiz, Spain, another in Palermo, Italy, and the last one in Basel, Switzerland.**"**

"Basel is close to Colmar." I was looking through the map, "That's got to be the one."

"The candidate is one Werner Christinger." The human-computer exported the details, "He is a professor of chemistry at Basel Institute of Technology, uh, specializes in neuropharmacology. Looks like he's handled some black-market requests as well."

"Like the regimen." I said, "I'm on my way." Then I strode towards the door.

"I have a team in Germany." said Ari.

Crap…

"They can be there in under an hour." Ari kept on.

Shit! He's gonna do this.

I had to stop and walked back to him. I knew I could change nothing, but at least I could try to, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's not how it works. I find the guardian. I destroy the box."

Ari was already sitting back in his chair, "No, we're not going to destroy the box, not immediately. I'm sending a retrieval team."

"That's not the deal." I said, though I was also not following the deal as initially planned.

"New deal." Ari's smile was radiant with superiority. He stared at my resentful face and said, "Employer's prerogative."

So this was how it would be. I was not able to change that, so I had to tip Nikita as quickly. Leaving Ari's office, I saw the elevator was still down there. I rushed to the stairs, slipped all the way down along the handrail. Then I quickly got away from Gogol's communication monitoring district and called Nikita. I'd wanted to go farther, but time was not permitting.

"Owen? You got something?" asked Nikita.

"Yeah. Target's in Basel, Switzerland. Sent you the address. The chemist's a Werner Christinger from the Basel Institute of Technology. But there's a Gogol team on its way."

"On its way from where?"

"Germany, so it's close." answered me, "I'd never make it back on time. You've got to get there first."

Honestly, I really wished she missed it. It was the first time I'd ever wished that.

_"You know what, it's really hard to see through you." Nikita told me afterwards._

_"Can you see through yourself?" I asked her._

_"Sometimes…no…"_

_"And that's why you can't see through me." I shrugged my shoulder._

"I'm on it." Nikita said. I heard from the receiver her standing up rapidly.

Hanging up the phone, I let out a deep breath, and then unwillingly dialed Michael's number. I didn't have another choice. Nikita was no way stopped from throwing herself into danger, and I was not able to be there, so someone else must be there to watch her back. And…after all, Michael was always the one who was supposed to be with her.

"Hello?" Michael quickly picked up.

"Hey, it's me." I said.

"Owen? How did you…"

"You should know Nikita's closing in on the black box, and she's making the approach solo…" I was still not finishing my words when I felt a harsh pain starting from my calf and soon spreading over my body. Then there was another hit on my shoulder. I realized that was an electric baton. Gogol…

But I soon passed out.

When I came back to consciousness due to a harsher kick, I found myself sitting in Ari's office, with my hands tied up behind, not even possible to break loose.

"Tell me, Mr. Elliot, who were you calling." said Ari.

"Someone you may not know." Strictly, I was not lying.

"Mr. Elliot, you know I'm now very much impatient."

"I know. And so am I."

"Then tell me, who, were you, calling?" Ari asked again.

"To you, that name means nothing." I said, "And…that is not within our trade range."

"I guess you long ago broke the trade rules already."

"After you."

"Well okay," Ari sat back in his chair, "I will find out who you were calling, in another way…a way you maybe would prefer." Then he gave a man beside a hint with the eyes. That man was holding an electric baton or something.

So not creative. But good. The more time they wasted on me, the more time I could buy Michael.

Just then, Ari's phone started ringing.

"Yes?" he picked up.

"Local authorities have custody of the target and the box." said the man at the other side.

"Authorities? Who alerted them?" asked Ari.

Shit…my plan seemed not working out. Michael's not arrived yet.

"It seems the chemist was under observation for his illegal activities. Once the shooting started, Dard units were called in. Also they have Nikita. She was with them." The man on the phone said.

It was a piece of relatively better news. Nikita was not in Gogol's hand. Michael's still got the time.

"They're being transported to Zurich."

"Follow them. Call in teams two and three for backup." Ari said, "We'll be there shortly."

"Nikita." Ari hang up the phone and darted a poisonous look at me, "Well, now we know the answer to who you were calling."

Great, he misunderstood.

"Not that that's a surprise." said Ari.

And I was trying my best not to laugh out because of his stupidity.

"For such a highly trained operative, Mr. Elliot," Ari looked at me, "you are absurdly transparent, a single-celled organism. It's no wonder Percy assigned you to…watch a box."

Hah…get over yourself, fool.

"Now Nikita…is perhaps the most complex individual I have ever come across." Ari frowned, "I honestly don't know what she sees in you."

Hah…Mr. Tasarov, you just made two mistakes in your word.

One, Nikita was not complex. Oh, maybe that's your own intelligence problem, which was very possible, because you also misunderstood my plan.

Two, well maybe I should thank you first for your appreciation, but Nikita's seen nothing in me. We were just sharing a common interest.

_Yeah, that's all. She's seen nothing in me._

_I always believed that. I was helping Daniel take care of Nikita, which was enough to me. While Nikita, as I thought, was helping Emily take care of me. Like she once said, it was irresponsible to let me be out there without any restriction. Maybe after a long time, when we finally went to the same world as where Daniel and Emily were, we would just return each other to them. That was what's in my mind, and in her mind also, I guessed._

_Then there came one day, I changed my mind…_

_That was an afternoon, Nikita took Daniel out for shopping, while I stayed at home, telling her I wanted to watch a boxing game. I did watch the game, but that was during the time I was changing the kitchen's ceramic tile to her favorite style. She had mentioned it before, but I couldn't find the time to do it, well, alone time. So…thanks, Daniel._

_I finished changing the ceramic tile before they got back home. I'd been doing it so quickly that I had to sit on the floor in the bedroom and gasp for breath. Then I heard the door being pushed open, followed the sound she opened the refrigerator. And…quite a time passed, I still didn't hear the refrigerator being closed. Well, she must have found it already. Soon, I heard the bedroom door being opened. I didn't turn around, but still sat there, gasping and watching TV._

_Nikita held me from my back, her arms around my neck and chin on my shoulder._

_"Is that what you want?" I asked._

_She didn't answer, but just nodded._

_After a minute, she called my name, "Owen."_

_"Yeah?"_

_"What if…one day…I don't want to give you back to her?"_

_I was kind of stunned there. I needed some time to digest this sentence._

_"She's good tempered." I answered, "Might forget you anyway."_

_She smiled, pressing hard on my shoulder with her chin._

_"Ah…" I seemed to suddenly come up with one thing, and I didn't know from where I got the courage to ask it, "What about him?" I turned back my head and looked at her._

_She bit her lip, smiling, and gave a punch on my chest. I guessed that was a positive answer. She was still holding me like that for a while, then I heard her saying some words that however times I confirmed, I could still hardly persuade myself to believe._

_She said, "Owen, I love you."_

_I was almost quivering the second I heard her words, "What did you say?"_

_But Nikita just lowered her head and did not answer me._

_"Mom said she loves you." Daniel appeared from the back of the door and said._

_"What did you hear?" asked Nikita._

_"Nothing." the kid said, "That's what they say in TV."_

_When we were still trying to find some answers from each other's face, that kid said again, "Mom, I've put the things on the lowest layer of the fridge. I can't reach higher. Okay, now I'm leaving this room." Daniel held the door handle, and closed the door._

_"Are we…the most terrible parents in the world?" I said._

_"Kind of." she shrugged._

_"He must be feeling very tired."_

_"Hmm…so…"_

_"Hmm?"_

_"How about…we give him some help?" she tipped her head to one side, looking at me, kind of teasing._

_Yeah, that was the day when Emily was produced. But…we were not so sure whether we achieved the effect we expected after all._

_"Not bad." that was the comment from Daniel, "At least compared with you guys, she was much easier to look after."_

"We share a common interest." I looked up at Ari, with the most contemptuous eyesight, "We both can't wait to kill you." Then I started to smile.

Ari actually smiled back, "Maybe you just can't wait to be killed together with her."

"We are not that impatient." said me, "And she doesn't want to be with me."

"Heh…but she seems to have no other options." Ari turned to his man behind, "Now we head to Switzerland. Bring Mr. Elliot with us. His knowledge of the box and the guardian may still prove to be useful."

Ari walked out of the office. I was still trying to struggle for some time, but everything was in vain when faced with the electric baton.


	42. Restart

**In this chapter, there is a hint for the new evolution of the story in the near future :)**

* * *

><p>When I woke up again, I found myself in Ari's car, and my hands were tied onto a beam of the car by a pair of plastic cuffs.<p>

The car was still moving. I struggled all the way to break loose, but the harder I struggled, the tighter the cuffs fastened my hands.

"Mr. Elliot," Ari said, looking at me through the rearview mirror, "there's gonna be a good show. I think you should at least behave with some grace, as a VIP."

"The show's canceled. You didn't get the notice?" answered me, still trying to get rid of the dame cuffs.

The car stopped ten minutes later.

"They are coming. Rocket launcher ready." Ari said, "It's on, Mr. Elliot. Watch and enjoy."

"Yeah, your tragedy." I bit my teeth and said.

Then I heard the sound of cars coming nearer. Damn it, Michael, you're running out of time.

Two police vans appeared in my sight. Only in a second, the one in front was hit by the damn rocket bomb and its back door was blown open. The van was overturned onto the ground, in which I saw Nikita. Her hands were cuffed to a beam also, and fell over together with the van. She was struggling to get loosed.

Wait…the man beside, is he…the guardian?

Shit!

I was using up my whole strength but still could do nothing with the cuffs.

The other van stopped immediately, and two groups started firing at each other, which I believed wouldn't last long. And half a minute later, I knew I'd guessed right. Police were all down.

Ari walked out of the car, and picked out the black box from the police van.

"Make sure the van is clean." said him, "No loose ends."

"Understood." answered one Gogol agent, and he pointed to the van which Nikita was in it, "Hey, the van!"

"Mr. Elliot has outlived his usefulness." Ari said, "Make sure he's…nonoperational."

Yeah, you idiots, listen to your boss and come to me first! All my usefulness now was buying Michael some more time.

Hey, don't just focus on that van, idiots! Come to me!

I saw Ari make another call and left in another car. Gogol agents were slowly approaching that van. Nikita was still cuffed. To Gogol, finishing Nikita was just a matter of time.

I was still attempting to break the cuffs around my wrists. If this was a kind of soap opera, then at this moment, this so called plastic would just break off like some sort of miracle. But the truth was, this shit happening here was all real. But…I just thought the miracle should appear anyway, because Nikita deserved a miracle.

After a while, I seemed to hear something like a car rolling. Yes, a car! And from the car there flew out a bunch of bullets, shot by which Gogol agents all crashed down one by one.

Yes! Her miracle! He's coming!

Michael got out of the car and rushed to my place. He cut off the cuffs for me.

"There's three more!" I shouted.

The remaining Gogol agents already realized what was happening and started firing at us. Michael passed me a gun. We shot at them, taking cover behind the car. Then I stood up, with the cover of a car beside, I kept shooting at the enemies. "Go!" I shouted to Michael, who then ran to a car in front, and covered for me to get over there too.

"Thanks." I said.

"Thanks for calling." answered him.

"Nikita's in the van." I said. That's the most important thing to talk about.

We reached a mutual agreement by nodding and each took down our enemies one by one. Just then, Nikita had broken loose from that beam. She grabbed a gun and shot down the last living Gogol agent.

Michael and I headed to her, so did she to us. No enemy needed taking care of anymore. I walked to her and took the gun from her hands. While Michael cut off the plastic cuffs around her wrist.

Nikita was looking at Michael. In her eyes I saw some excitement that I was not able to describe. Excitement that would only appear in her eyes when it was Michael that stood in front of her. That was Michael's privilege. People like me could only stare at them with jealousy.

I knew I should walk away from them, so I went look for the guardian who was still supposed to be in the van. But he was not, to my surprise.

What the hell is it?

Only Nikita was handcuffed?

I turned around to them and called, "Guys!" I had to interrupt them for the moment. I saw Nikita's smile when she turned around to me. "He's gone." I said, looking back at the burning van.

"He was just here." Nikita walked over, "Shouldn't' go too far. Maybe we can…"

"But he has not the box now." I broke in, "Ari has it."

"So?" said Michael.

"So there's no point chasing the guardian any more. Guardian means nothing without his black box. We better go after Ari, so will the guardian."

"How?" said Michael, "Call him and ask him back to pick up these men?"

"We can discuss it later, after getting back to my safe house." I said, "Cops will be here in minutes. We'd better leave asap."

"Your safe house?" said Nikita, "You're sure it's no problem? Gogol will not…"

"No." answered me, quite certainly.

"And how could you be sure?" Michael asked, with a tone that was apparently far more suspicious.

"I know Gogol. Ari now is focusing on that black box, and he has no time wasting on a valueless person that is me." I said, walking to the police van. I was wondering whether the guardian had been bringing something with him and then left in the van. As expected, I saw a laptop. Great. I got it out.

"How do you know that?" asked Nikita.

"I'll tell you later." I said, having a look around the place, "This is a perfect scene. Gogol is gonna be responsible for what happened here. We gotta go."

We got into Michael's car and went to the airport. Nikita was sitting in the front, and I was of course in the back. I was looking outside the window almost all along the way, because every time when I turned to Nikita, she was just looking at Michael, so I quickly turned back again. And repeat and repeat, until we got to the airport.

The plane was quite empty, so I chose to sit behind them, with the excuse that I wanted to have a nap. But actually I couldn't fall asleep at all. I wanted to hear them talking, but…honestly part of me rejected to hear their voice.

Fortunately, there were still other people in the plane, so they didn't talk much. Their topic even included things like "Isn't he still taking the regimen? How he could be sleepy?" "He's got clean." "Clean? How?" "Gogol…" Blablabla…those things didn't make any sense to me.

Getting off the plane, we quickly got a car. This time I changed my seat with Michael while Nikita was still sitting in the front. Finally I could take a good look at her.

"Did you get hurt?" I asked her.

"No." Nikita shook her head and said, "You?"

"Neither."

"I don't believe it." said her.

"Neither."

Nikita smiled, and I smiled with her. From the rearview mirror, I saw Michael's expression was just normal. Seemed fine with us.

I pulled over the car near my safe house, and then we went upstairs.

"I gotta check this first." I waved the laptop on my hand, and said to Nikita, "Didn't have the time to wash the clothes. You go take a shower and still wear this one, OK?" By saying this, I had a look at her. The coat looked nice on her, quite fit, though she told me later that she couldn't help laughing when she'd seen it.

_She said she'd known that I was kind of childish in picking clothes, but had never expected I would be childish like that, which doesn't seem any better now. Daniel and Emily have this kind of coats as well, and we four always go out wearing them. Nikita has already got used to it, and…she actually kind of likes it._

"OK." Nikita answered, and nodded at Michael. Then she went inside to the bathroom.

In Michael's expression, I saw some confusion. And I was kind of proud in see that confusion.

"So this is your…safe house?" Michael said to me, looking around the house.

"Yeah." I shrugged my shoulder, "Anything wrong?"

"Nothing." said him, "Just didn't expect you would like such a place."

"Heh…" I smiled while turning on the laptop, "I don't have a preference for safe house. I chose here because…"

"Because what?"

"Nothing." I said, "Just Gogol's Safe House Picking Protocol." I didn't want to tell him the real reason. I sat down and started to search in the laptop. "Relax. Make yourself at home." I said to Michael, and pointed at the chair by the table.

Michael had a look at me, and sat down.

"So…" asked him, "when did Nikita find you?"

"Last night." I was staring at the screen, "Why?"

"She's um…quite familiar with this house."

"Yeah. Construction's not complicated." I looked up at him, "It's just an ordinary…house." I swallowed back the word "home".

Then I heard in the bathroom the water stop flowing. I picked up the laptop, and moved to a corner where I could hardly see her.

"You got anything, Owen?" Surprisingly, I actually heard her asking…me.

"Not yet." I lowered my head as possible as I could, "Not before you dry your hair up." I desperately wanted her to go back to the bedroom and dress up.

"Whoa…" said Michael, "so yesterday you were also like this and…"

"No!" I lifted my head violently. Then we stared at each other with a kind of astonishment. Before the blood rushed onto my face, I forced my head back down to the screen and continued the search. Great, I set a new record of low efficient today. I had tried to input the same characters for more than ten times, but none of them was correct.

I felt that Nikita was looking at me with a complicated expression.

"Hurry up. I seem to find something." I had to lie to her.

Nikita finally walked to the bedroom, only Michael was still looking at me with that kind of face.

_Later Nikita said she'd not understood why I would be so overreacted. Nor had I. Maybe it was because my instinct told me that was the most favorable answer to her. Maybe it was because my instinct drove me to…protect her._

When Nikita was drying her hair in the room, I focused myself on the search. I didn't realize it but I was typing quite loudly.

"You got anything to drink?" asked Michael.

"There's water over there." I pointed to the kitchen.

"Thanks." he said, and walked to get the water.

Nikita soon came out. She was wearing the hoody. I was kind of relieved, and then came up with one thing. "Ah…" I stood up and brought out the medicine box. I had a look at Michael and put the box on the kitchen cabinet, kind of reluctant, but I had to.

"I'm fine, Owen." Nikita shook her hand to me.

"You deal with it, OK?" I ignored Nikita and said to Michael. Then I walked back to my seat.

"What happened?" asked Michael, "Your hand."

"Nothing." answered Nikita, "Broken by a basketball."

"A basketball?" In Michael's surprising tone, I also raised my head. "How?" asked him. I wanted to ask that as well.

"When I was escaping."

"When?" asked Michael again. Wow, I also wanted to ask that.

"Birkhoff…" Nikita lowered her head.

Oh, different answer from the one to my question, huh?

"Um…so how's Max?" Nikita asked Michael, kind of trying to change the topic.

Max? I raised my head for another time. Who the hell is Max?

"He's good." answered Michael.

Is Max his son? I could actually get the answer from Michael's expression.

"He asked about you, actually." said Michael, "Called you tsiotsya s pistaletam."

"The gun lady." said Nikita. I could not see her face as she was standing with her back to me.

Why Nikita would leave such an impression to that kid? What happened back there?

"Yeah, well, at least you made an impression."

"Yeah."

What? It's already "gun lady", man! And now you just brush over it with a "made an impression"?

"How's Birkhoff?" Michael seemed want to continue the previous topic.

"He's better. He needs some time."

"Yeah, well, he's tough. He'll be annoying the hell out of you in no time."

What? Now I am the one that is confused more. How bad was that computer guy injured? Why it seems to be very bad as I sensed from what Nikita told me earlier, and now from what she told Michael, it was just like…open up the case and wipe the dust?

What's far worse than zero information conversation was definitely error information conversation.

_"Oh, so you think you have the right to say that?" Nikita "questioned" me later, "Like there's much correct information in your words."_

_"Oh?" said me, "Not that much?"_

_"You tell me. I'm talking about YOUR words."_

_"Yeah." I said, "I have one brain cell."_

_She threw me a pale glare._

_"What? It's correct, isn't it? It's said by an always-have-reason person. Oh wait, that person always tells error information…Ouch…"_

_Nikita suddenly covered my head with the hood and pressed me down hard._

Nikita just nodded her head.

"And you? How are you?" Michael kept asking.

And I again raised my head on hearing this.

I saw Nikita lift up after a few seconds, seemed she was thinking how to answer that question. When I was about to get back to the search, I heard Nikita talking.

"I'm…" said her, "glad to see you."

I frowned. Such an answer was definitely not in the school book. But whatever, I already got something and I should…hold on, something's weird over there between Nikita and Michael. They behaved like…I guessed…oh yeah, I guessed right. Michael reached out his arms and held Nikita.

Fine. I'll wait. Three seconds maybe, as it's emergency here. We're already falling behind, so…

Three…

Two…

One…

"We have to go." I blasted off from my seat.

They separated, and I ran to them with the laptop.

"The guardian's on the move." said me.

"He doesn't have the box," said Nikita, "and Ari's probably destroyed it by now."

"No, Ari told me he wants to keep it." I looked at them both, "They must think they can use it for something. We got a bigger problem." I moved my eyes to the screen, "The police confiscated this laptop from the guardian. I took it when we left the scene. The guardians are on secondary protocol."

"Wait." Michael broke in, "What are you talking about?"

"All right, primary protocol is to stay put and guard the box. Secondary protocol is to pull stakes and report to a designated location. And wait for further instructions. Percy instituted it a few years back." I had to say I didn't like to explain, but now I seemed to be very good-tempered.

"That's why he cleared out of the farmhouse." Nikita said, looking at Michael.

"Okay, who can initiate secondary protocol?" asked Michael.

"Only Percy." answered me.

"That's impossible." said Michael, "He's locked up."

This time I really didn't want to explain anything.

Yeah, Percy was locked up, but the guardian did get the order. Percy must have a method to deliver the order. But I knew if I said so, there would be another "impossible" waiting for me. I was quite sick of hearing that word from Michael. The fact was just like that, the only thing you needed to do was to face it. "Impossible" could solve nothing.

I walked aside to get my equipment.

"What location? Where are they going?" Nikita asked me. I was glad that she still believed me.

"I don't know." I moved my equipment to the table, "It was to be given by verbal command, which is why we got to get going and start tracking the-the guardians. They're gathering. Percy's behind it."

"We don't know if there's anything happening with Percy." said Michael, "But what we do know is that Ari has the box. And we need to get it back." It seemed he insisted getting the box was more important than chasing the guardians.

"It's biometrically sealed." said me, "They can't decrypt it without the guardian's blood, which is why the box isn't an issue."

"The box is always an issue." said Nikita.

I looked at her, and then looked at Michael. I got it. Whatever happened, she was on his side. Well then, let's do his way. No, her way.

"Okay, I'll go after the guardian." I said to them, "You go after Ari, and you'll be fine with him." I pointed ay Michael while looking at Nikita.

"No, Michael goes with you." denied Nikita.

"What?" "Wait. Hold on a second." Michael and I said simultaneously.

"There are at least three guardians out there, okay? You're gonna be outgunned. It's gonna take the both of you." said Nikita.

"Nikita, I just got here. I can't leave you now." said Michael.

"This isn't about us."

"You have no way of finding Ari."

"Yeah, she does." I broke in, because I just found their conversation was going out of the original track.

They both turned to me.

"When Ari started threatening me, I figured…I'd keep tabs. I put a tracker on his car."

They were still looking at me. And of course it was not possible for me to see in Nikita's eyes something like "Oh, well done!".

_I never did, regardless of the trials I've ever made to prove to her that I am actually much more intelligent than how I appear to be, or how she thinks I am. And as you know, the trials never worked._

_"I said it, dad. You won't succeed," said Daniel, "if mom makes up her mind not to allow you to." Then he shrugged his shoulder, "But mom seems quite enjoying seeing you try and try."_

_"So am I!" Emily gave me a big smile, "Keep trying, daddy."_

"Michael, we'll have the time to deal with this all later." said Nikita to Michael.

I knew what "this all" meant, and I agreed with Nikita. I didn't understand what Michael was hurrying for, because I didn't think "this all" could be dealt with shortly. And…if he was hurrying at this moment, where had him gone before then?

"You realize every law-enforcement agency in the region is on high alert, and you're chasing Ari Tasarov into the heart of Gogol territory? You don't even know where he's headed." Michael was still emphasizing the risk of what Nikita was going to do, which did make sense, and that's why I suggested not to chase the box at this stage.

"Yes." Nikita said in a peaceful tone. Michael was just frowning at her, while Nikita then turned to me, "But it's the right thing to do."

When she was saying this, I saw in her eyes the Nikita I'd met for the first time. So I smiled. The confusion again appeared in Michael's eyes, and I still liked that confusion.

"You're right." Nikita talked to Michael, "I don't know what I'm gonna find there."

Then she walked away from the table to pack her things.

"You're sure you wanna do this?" I asked Michael. Since I didn't have the even slightest chance to persuade Nikita not to do it, I could at least try to persuade Michael.

"No one can change her mind." answered Michael.

Fine…

I walked to Nikita.

"Nikita."

"Yeah?"

"The tracker." I handed the signal receiver to her, "Turn it off once you've tagged them. Gogol might catch its signal."

"Yeah." she took it from me, "Thanks."

"Oh and…" I let out a breath, "Keep in touch, with us." I pointed to Michael.

She answered with a smile.

"Hey." Michael came to us.

"Once the job is done or…anything happens," I kept on, without caring about Michael's cutting in, "get back directly to this house. It'll be safe for a certain period, I promise."

"Got it." Nikita nodded.

Saying all I needed to say, I had a "you take care of the rest" look at Michael, and walked to pack up my things.

After a moment, Michael walked out of the room and asked me, "What are you looking into?"

"Possible place for their gathering."

"Any good news?"

"It should be around here." I said, showing the area to Michael.

"How do you know that?"

"I've traced them…" I answered, going on with my search over the previous records. Then I came up with one thing. "Is Nikita ready?" I asked Michael.

"Yeah."

I stood up.

"What's wrong?" asked Michael.

"Wait a minute." I said, and walked to the bedroom.

"May I come in?" while asking this, I directly pushed the door open.

"What's up, Owen?"

"Here." I gave her a card.

"What's this?" she asked.

"Travel expenses."

"What?"

"Don't worry. Took it from Gogol." I said.

"Took it how?" she asked, accepting the card.

"I'll tell you later. Use it. Ari's gonna pay for his own trip to the hell."

She smiled, "Thanks."

"Thank Ari." I shrugged, "And take care."

"Yeah." she nodded her head.

Then I walked out to the living room.

"What were you talking?" Michael asked me.

"Nothing. Just something about Ari." I didn't want to explain much. Time didn't allow me to. I got back to the laptop, "Percy's sent away the Tokyo and Rio guardian long ago. Judging from the records of some bank accounts which possibly belonged to the two guardians, they have transferred to the Europe. The one that just slipped away under our eyes, he was in France. And the other two, the most possible places they would stay are Bremen, Germany and Stockholm, Sweden. Now they all already closed their accounts, so these three places are excluded from the options for gathering. According to the distance, they will most probably gather in…" I showed the map to Michael.

"Netherlands or Belgium." said him.

Correct! I shrugged my shoulder.

Nikita came over to us. I stood up, and Michael walked to her.

"Look, when you come back, we need to…" said him.

"Yeah, I know." she smiled, "You guys ready?"

"Almost." said me, "The earliest flight to Brussels is in two hours, so we might have the time to give you a ride."

"Wow, I didn't expect the welfare." Nikita tipped her head and smiled, "You're going to Brussels?"

"Yeah," answered Michael, "according to Owen's search result."

"OK." Nikita said, and had a look at me, not questioning at all. I like such trust from her, or should say…I enjoy it.

We left my safe house and got into the car. I was driving while Nikita and Michael were sitting in the back seat. On the way, I tried not to look at them. I turned on the radio, listening to the music which I wasn't fond of at all. The volume was turned up and down with the change of their topics, or…with the change of the degree of my interest in their topics.

"Max doesn't sleep until that late?"

"Yeah, such a headache."

"No wonder his mother always looks tired."

"Maybe."

That was all I heard.

His mother? Nikita has met with her? What happened exactly?

I stopped the car at an intersection.

"Here will be fine." I said to Nikita

"Yeah." said her, and opened the door.

"Take care of yourself." said Michael.

"I will."

They had a short hug. Then Nikita got off the car with a "goodbye". I started the car again.


	43. Conversation

Sitting in the plane, I was holding a map and keeping thinking about the possible places that the guardians might have picked as their safe houses.

The gathering had happened just recently. They couldn't have much time to carefully select a long-term safe house, so the most possible option was the hotel.

"You sure about that?" Michael asked me.

"Yeah."

"On what ground?"

"If I were him, I would just pick a hotel room." I answered, with my eyes still focusing on the map, "So would they, I assume. So would you, if you had been a guardian for that long. You would keep this protocol in your blood."

"Protocol like what?" he was getting frowned, seemed like I'd just reminded him something bad.

I moved my eyes from the map to him, and stared at him, "Like you'll never give up on what you've been guarding." Then I turned back to the map again.

There was a while neither of us talked. Then I heard him saying, "Are you sure this is gonna…" I looked at him who was pointing at the map, "…work? I mean in a short time."

"Yeah," answered me, "at least it worked. I have counted on them so many times; they never let me down." I waved my map to him.

_Nikita also commented on me, saying that I always liked the most stupid and energy-consuming methods for lots of things. But to her surprise, those methods always worked the most effectively._

_My explanation was: I was too stupid to come up with the idea called "give up"._

The plane landed in Brussels.

"Seven." I said, pointing on the map, "Possible hotels."

"So what are we gonna do next? Check them one by one?" asked Michael.

"You got a better idea?" asked me.

"Let's go."

When I went out of one hotel, Michael asked me, "You found anything?"

"No." answered me, "Looks like they are not here."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Then we left there.

And the same conversation repeated for 6 times in the following time of that day.

"So…" said Michael, "Guardians didn't pick this city, huh?"

"Right." I said, scratching out the last hotel name in my notebook, "At least this city is safe."

Then we got in the plane to Amsterdam. During the flight, I kept doing the same thing: marking all the possible hotels in Amsterdam.

"Are you…really sure that…" Michael asked me, "there's no problem in doing this?"

"Yes." I said, and didn't respond to his question any more.

Actually, it was quite reasonable for him to question me after 7 times' search turning out to be in vain. However, Nikita never questioned me, so…I was not really used to being questioned by Michael.

_Speaking of which…Nikita either has me take charge of the whole thing, or she herself does. We seldom sit down by a table to really discuss something. It's not a healthy pattern, quite efficient though. So I've been seeking a way to change it, within a range that she can accept._

The plane soon landed in Amsterdam. When we were on the way to one hotel, Michael's phone started to ring.

"What's that?" I asked him, "Update from Nikita?"

"Looks like the tracker you put on Ari Tasarov's car worked." said him, "She's found the black box."

Michael was kind of excited on hearing this update, but I was feeling a little…conflicting.

I've been in such a feeling for quite a long time afterwards. I kind of encouraged her to fight on, but tried my best to persuade people around her to stop her.

_Nikita once said, "Can't imagine a sing-celled brain like yours would produce such a complex emotion."_

_"Do you get any bonus telling everyone that your husband is a sing-celled idiot?" I asked her, and held her from the back, pretending I was putting in more strength._

_"No," said her, putting her hands on my arms, "so nobody knows that…"_

_"Really?"_

_"Daddy, if you ever heard how mom told neighbors about you…" Daniel came over to get some juice and broke in. _

_"Hey, Daniel!" Nikita wanted to stop him, and somehow I felt her face was a little burning._

_"Chill, mom." Daniel had a sip of the juice to test the temperature, and then poured one bottle for his sister. "I won't say it." He picked the bottle and went back to his room, "I can't even say it out."_

"I know you guys want to replace the box you lost," I said to Michael, figuring this might be a chance to mouse out other people's attitude towards her crusade, "but maybe she should just let it go."

"We can't let Ari keep that box." said Michael, "If he finds a way to decrypt it, I don't want to think about what he'd do with those dirty secrets."

OK, I got it. He wasn't even thinking about stop. Plan A revoked, here we go Plan B, which was a little…worse.

"You should be with her." I said, with a sigh, "I could've tracked this guardian on my own."

"He's going to meet up with the other guardians. You want to take on all three by yourself?" asked Michael.

That was exactly what I was thinking about, only I was a little overestimating my fighting capacity without the regimen.

_"A little? Only? Whoa, how exact your life had been, huh!" That's definitely Nikita's comment._

Fine, Michael was right. I was overestimating my fighting capacity. But how could he be so sure that Nikita alone would just be no problem under Ari's full-scale deployment while he could precisely point out that I was never able to deal with only three guardians by my own? Or let's say…Nikita's always been giving people around an impression that she would just be no problem? Like how she'd made me think in the very first?

I knew that Nikita had been wanting to leave that impression to other people. However, that was no way a good impression, especially not in the eyes of the one she loved.

The one Nikita loved should allow her failure. He should even never put her in the position where such missions were involved.

"No. Nikita was right." Michael went on, "We got to grab that box and then figure out what the guardians are up to, what Percy's up to."

Well, that's the only thing in his mind…

I let out a deep breath. To make him realize what I was wanting to say, I needed to change another method. Plan B revoked again. Shit, I didn't prepare a Plan C.

"What'd you find?" he asked me.

OK, maybe just get back to the mission first.

"I narrowed it down to these six hotels." answered me, "Those are some nice places."

"I thought the guardians were more "bed of nails" and all." said him.

Before answering him, I had a look around the place to make sure whether there were guardian-alike people here, as we were already near a candidate hotel. And…there was no guardian here, so I focused back on Michael's words.

We guardians wouldn't nest on some weird places if not for special cases. I was not sure whether the safe house I'd picked in London gave Michael a misunderstanding or something, but I really wanted him to know that, except for taking the regimen, we guardian were just like ordinary people. We were not some freaks living in the…I don't know…Gothic castle. We also lived in places where everyone else lived. We watched TV. We cooked. Sometimes we would also…forget about it.

Anyway, I figured it's better to explain to him from the technical level. "Easier to get lost in a crowd at a big hotel." I said, "These are the right size, near public transportation, with multiple points of egress."

"Okay." said Michael, "So we zero him down, track him to the gathering, and figure out how Percy's pulling the strings."

Right. So now the only thing we could do was looking for the guardian around this place. With our eyes.

Maybe it was a good chance to come up with a Plan C.

"Why are you still in London?" I asked Michael. I just randomly picked one question that I wanted to ask, considering the fact that I had not really mapped out how the Plan C should proceed.

"Excuse me?" Michael was apparently surprised at my question.

"Nikita says you're staying in London to be with the kid. Is that gonna be a permanent thing or…"

"Whoa." He stopped, "Why is she even talking to you about this?"

"She needs to talk to somebody. It's getting harder for her." I answered, with the scene when Nikita said she's tired appearing in my head. Actually I wanted to ask him how he could let her bear so many things that she was not even able to talk about to other people. Wait…he just mentioned "even" in his words. What? So if it was not me that Nikita talked to about this thing, Michael would not be so surprised? Just because I'd been a cleaner? Whatever…it didn't matter anyway. What mattered was, if it was not me or somebody else that Nikita talked to, her expressing way out could only be Michael. "Maybe she can't talk to you 'cause she thinks she already lost you." I said.

"She hasn't." said Michael.

I looked him in the eye. His words made me feel a little assured.

"I know." I said, kind of eager to say this out, before I felt heartache. I knew Nikita had been used to making choices for other people, and the choices she made was always good to other people, at least she thought so. So she made a choice for Michael to stay in London. But I also knew, for most cases, the choices that she made for other people would not cheer up herself. She just kept making those choices no matter what. To some extent, her "bossy" was only to herself.

"That's why I'm warning you." I said to Michael, "You need to make a choice before someone makes it for you."

"And who's gonna make that for me? You?"

No no no…he totally misunderstood. I didn't know what he exactly meant by such a question though, it was definitely not what I wanted to let him realize.

I didn't know what to say, so I looked around, trying to sort out a train of thought. After a while, I seemed to have an idea, which would not help permanently though.

"I don't have a kid." I said.

"You killed her fiancé." Michael said, looking at me with a strange expression in his eyes.

Ah yeah, I got what he meant. So that's what was in his mind always? Hah…jealous type, huh? He thought the choice I'd just talked about was "taking her away"? I didn't even know whether I should feel helpless or angry or…a little happy.

"Yeah." answered me, "Nikita said he was a nice, normal guy…didn't deserve to die. Neither did Emily. She was innocent, just like your son. She died because of me, because that's what happens when normal people get sucked into our world, they get hurt." I stared at Michael's eyes.

Then I just kept walking ahead for guardian's traces. Michael caught up with me after quite a minute. I guessed I'd just given him a push.

"So what are you gonna do?" I asked him.

""I need time."

"For what?"

"For preparation maybe," he looked at me, smiled, "to get back to…you know, our world."

I smiled too. Guessed that's the result I wanted. Plan C probably worked.

I was not really clever, so mostly, I only reached the right way after all wrongs. This time, it seemed to turn out to be the same.

But…the following happenings made me realize that I'd not tried all wrongs yet.

_"Have I reached the right way now?" I asked Nikita later, while she was wearing the lipstick and I was tying her hair to a ponytail._

_"No idea." she shrugged._

_I smiled. She shook her head and the ponytail brushed on my face. Itchy. So I scratched my nose, which happened to be seen by her and made her laugh._

_"But…" she went on saying, "if this is still wrong, I guess that right way actually has no attraction to me."_

_I knew I was laughing like an idiot again because Nikita gave me a push on the forehead._

"Hey," I saw a Café not far ahead, so I said to Michael, "have a drink?"

"You thirsty?" asked Michael.

"Yeah." I nodded, but actually, no. I just realized that I'd solved a problem that really mattered, so I wanted to somehow celebrate it.

"Well, OK." said Michael.

We walked to one table and ordered two cups of coffee.

"Before the coffee's served, I'll go find out if there's any guardian checking in." I said.

Then I went into the hotel and handed the guardians' names to the receptionist, who, after a search on the computer, gave me a negative feedback.

"Nothing on the hotel guest list matches our guardian." I walked back to the Café, sat down, and drank up my coffee just like celebrating something.

"Well, that's our fourth strike." Michael said, looking at the notebook I was putting on the table.

I raised my head and was just about to respond when I saw one man walking out of that hotel.

He's a guardian!

I didn't know why but I knew I was right. He's a guardian. Guardians in a way belonged to the same species, and I was glad that I, the ex-guardian, after returning to the human species, still had the ability to recognize my ex-company. But I was just too glad to realize that I probably should not be as confident on my other abilities which were supposed to be guardian-exclusive.

"That's a guardian." I stood up rapidly and followed that man, so did Michael.

The man soon went into an alley.

"I'll block him from the other side." I said, running ahead through another way to that side.

The guardian stopped when seeing me, and at the same time, I saw Michael appearing behind him. Before I could make a reaction, the guardian suddenly turned around and kicked down Michael, and with no pause, he rushed towards me. I didn't know which word could match his high speed, but I knew I'd once actually had this speed as well, and I was totally surprised at this fact.

I made an attack move, but I couldn't even reach him. While he hit me violently in the chest, so violently that I could hardly believe that I'd once had this same strength. I couldn't help falling back down and right knocked into Michael.

Michael struggled up and tried to attack him, but only ended up with beaten down by him. So did me.

And it started raining. In the rain, we repeated up and down, the only difference was, me and Michael seemed to have a better cooperation. Finally, we each caught the guardian by one part and together twisted him. I was not sure which part of him got broken, but I was sure he was defeated anyway.

I bent down to search his pocket and heard Michael saying with rush breath, "Not that I should say this, but…I kind of wish you were still on the regimen."

"So do I." I answered. I knew Michael was kidding, but I was kind of serious, "Is that a bad thing?" Then we had a look at each other in a really "pathetic" figure.

I turned over the guardian's body and found a note in his pocket. It was a receipt of a dry cleaner. "He's picking up his shirts?"

"He's at a four-star hotel. Why would he send his shirts out for cleaning?" Michael said, and squatted himself down to collect the guardian's blood with an injector.

"Percy loved all that cold war spy crap." said me, "Dead drops and code words and…"

"In two hours, he's gonna be at the dry cleaner's."

"Maybe then we'll find out where the meeting is." I said, putting the note into my pocket.

Michael took out the black box and said, "Once we do, I'm pretty sure we got a way inside."

The alley conversation ended. Ps: none of the all words we said were not uttered in a breathless manner. And then, both of us staggered out of the alley, just like two drunkards.

I felt chilly, like it was the first time that I got to know the "me" after getting clean. I'd never expected the influence of not using the pills would be so gigantic. It seemed that I had not got back to the physical status before regimen, but I knew even if I had, my ability would still be far worse than that with the help of regimen. Such a realization made me fear. I totally freaked out.

"Hey." Michael tapped me on the shoulder.

"What?" I turned to him."

"I've called you twice, but you seemed in another world."

"Oh yeah?" It seemed like I was grabbed by the fear and didn't even heard Michael.

"We gotta get a car." said him.

"Yeah." I nodded, and like trying to prove something, I quickly opened the door of one car parked aside and sat into the driver's cab."

"Are you alright?" Michael asked.

"Yeah, fine." I started the car.

My muscle was still kind of aching. Suddenly I came up with my first meet with Nikita. That fight…how bad I was hitting her! Shit…


	44. The Meeting

**Oooooook, I'm back. Sorry for not updating for a period, I've been busy. A short chapter here :)**

Reply to thegogo1993: There will be Nikita/Alex scene later, stay tune!

Reply to "Guest 1/25/13 . chapter 1 Have you seen 3x08? Defintely love Owen/Nikita even more now!" I have! And I'm totally with you!

Reply to Sue: Yes yes I will ;)

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><p>We soon got to the dry cleaner's.<p>

"One hour and 40 to wait." said Michael.

"Or we can have a ride." said me, "People are gonna have an eye on us if we stay here for that long." Saying this, I took a glance inside the cleaner's.

"Yeah, maybe."

So I drove away in a random direction. Neither of us talked. And I guessed my expression was not really normal for people having a ride, because Michael now and then gave me a quick glimpse with his eyebrows frowning.

I actually was not in a good mood, and I then realized that regimen did have the function to ease anxiety. For the first time, I felt things were completely out of my expectation, and how badass Percy was in controlling people.

Without Division, you are just a nobody.

This sentence hit me out of blue. Shit! I thought I would never feel it again after getting clean, but now it seemed that I could never get rid of this feeling.

I had to kill Percy, because running would no way give birth to a world without Division.

I looked at Michael, and then thought of his son. Things might not be that easy.

"Is there a problem?" Michael asked.

"No." I moved my eyes back to the front and kept driving.

"Guess we should go back." He had a look at his watch.

"yeah." I said. Before going back to the cleaner's, I had the gasoline tank filled in a station nearby.

Michael went to install a bug near the door of the cleaner's, and came back into the car.

"It's 7." I said.

We both saw a man walking into that store.

"I think this is our guy." said Michael.

I agreed. That's the guardian in France.

"I seem to have misplaced my ticket." That guardian said.

"What are you picking up?" asked the cleaner's owner.

"Three shirts, blue, lightly starched and pressed, boxed." answered him.

"This isn't a clue to the meeting." I said.

"This is the meeting." said Michael.

With the telescope, we saw that guardian was given a white box, with which he went to inside the store. At the meantime, Michael stuck some skin-alike membrane to his own hand. I knew what he intended to do. The blood in the injector was only enough for one person, and Michael grabbed the first.

"I say we bomb the place." said me, "No more guardians, no more black boxes."

And no more Percy, soon.

"This meeting is our only chance at figuring out what Percy's up to." Michael was starting to inject the blood into that membrane, "Last time he had a big secret plan, he tried to level the seventh floor of the CIA."

"So you're gonna walk in there, alone, and meet with two guardians?" I said, thinking this was crazy, "We barely managed to take down one of them together." I hated to admit this, but I had to.

And I didn't want him to take that risk, though I didn't feel any good to him. But whatever happened to him would only bring Nikita much bigger influence. That's why I would do anything to keep him away from any chance of getting hurt.

"I'm not going in alone." said Michael, "We'll be on comms, and that box is my backup."

I was thinking if there was anything missed, but no progress yet.

"Be ready when I give the word." said him.

"I got ya."

Then Michael got off the car and walked into that store. I heard him repeating the last one's words, and he got a same box successfully. With the box, he went in the same direction as the last one did.

I drove the car away and tried to find an easier breach around the store. I came to the back door, thinking that the passage inside there should lead to this door.

I heard Michael talking to the other guardians

"…That's why he chose me." said him, "Thanks to Nikita, you guys were dropping like flies, and Percy wanted extra insurance. Right before Amanda took over, he gave me a box and told me to run."

"I don't believe you." It was Miller's voice.

I held my gun tight. I was worried something would go wrong. Shit! I should've blown this place. Screw Percy. Without these guardians, he could in the end do nothing. Then who the hell still cares about whatever he's up to.

I was ready to rush in there when I heard Michael saying, "Then I'll prove it to you."

There was silence for a while. I couldn't help holding my breath.

Finally Miller started to talk, "Can't believe he didn't tell us."

He passed! He must have used the real guardian's blood.

"Well, things happened pretty fast that day." Michael said, "Are we missing a box? I see only two, but there are three of us. Did you lose something?" This sentence should be said to Miller.

"Yeah…I lost mine, in Sweden."

"Lost? What happened?"

"You said it." answered Miller, "Nikita happened."

Then there was another period of silence. A moment later, I heard phone ringing.

"Guardians…" The voice at the other side of the phone was quite familiar. That was Roan. He kept saying, "Did everyone make it?"

Silence again. I guessed Miller was ready to answer, so my hand grabbed the gun again.

"Three guardians. Present." said Miller.

"Open your packets. Visually confirm each other's identity. Maintain security profile alpha. We rendezvous in New York in two days." said Roan.

Confirm identity? What's in that box? Passport? Or driving license?

Whatever it was, I guessed I had to go in there this time. We just met that guardian, Michael, you look not at all like him.

Roan hung up his phone. There was a while I didn't hear anything. My finger was already on the trigger.

Then I heard Michael's voice, "You're right. I'm not a guardian. I'm just a guy who rigged a black box with explosives."

I kicked out the back door and quickly located Michael's spot. Without aiming at anything, I took the shot to wherever expect for Michael's spot. It didn't matter whether I shot those guardians down or not. What mattered was that nothing would happen to Michael.

Michael exploded the black box and ran to me. I shot at somewhere in their direction and ran out that place following Michael. We got into the car, and I saw guardians chasing after us. The back window of this car was crashed with their shootings and I heard the glass splitting and falling off.

"Don't stop until we get to Brussels, just to be safe." shouted Michael.

"I'm not slowing down till this thing runs out of gas." answered me.

"Nikita hasn't called me back."

I looked at him, didn't say anything.

"It's been a while." said him.

I still didn't respond.

We are almost clear. Nikita, you have to be safe too!


	45. Intersection

**From here this fic will run in a new story line which is not the same with the show, but not totally different. Just like what Nikita has taught Owen: Actions have consequences.**

**The new story line still has some relation with the story in the show, and some characters from Nikita's old life or missions will still show up.**

**So here it begins. Enjoy!**

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><p>I gathered myself together and drove to Brussels at full speed.<p>

Nikita called Michael 20 minutes later. Michael picked up, "Nikita? Where are you?"

"Turn on the hands-free! I need to hear her." I failed to hold myself back and shouted out. Michael got stunned for a second, but then did as I said.

"Not far away from Zetrov Mansion. Should be safe now." answered Nikita, "We're leaving in Ari's car."

"We?" Michael asked. And I felt it strange too.

"Me and Alex."

"Alex? Why?"

"Not easy to explain. We gotta find a safe place first."

"Nikita!" I broke in, with a shout.

"Owen?" she replied me.

"Yeah. Nikita, do you know how to get to my safe house from your spot?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Good. Go there with Alex, after making sure you guys are clear."

"OK." said Nikita, "Where are you now?"

"Near Brussels. We are clear now." answered Michael, "Call me when you get there."

Michael hung up the phone, while I let out a deep breath.

"Now we are heading to Brussels. What then? You got a plan?" I asked Michael.

"Guardians are going to New York. I think we should catch up with them."

"We got two days spare." said me,

"What?"

"We already knew they are going to New York, i.e. Division. I was a guardian. I know the procedure. Percy dies, we upload data; Percy's captured, we get him out." I said, "So, we don't have to spend time stalking them. We just wait for them in Division, in two days. That's why I said we got two days spare."

"So with the two days, you're gonna…?"

"It doesn't matter." said me, "Question is, what you are gonna do."

"What do you think I should do?" Michael got frowned.

"Hah…well…" I paused for a second, "figure out these matters, and make your decision."

"But Nikita…"

"She'll be safe in my place. I'll take care of her before you come back. I promise. If we are moving to somewhere else, we'll keep you informed." I looked at him, and then focusing on driving again.

"Can I trust you?" asked him.

"Hah…I killed her fiancé, and she saved my life, twice, at least. So I'm gonna take care of her with my whole life. I owe her at least that much."

_"So…" One night after I got the two-year-old Daniel whose mental age was very possibly much order than me to sleep, and got an ice bag ready for Nikita against her fever, Nikita asked me, "all that you are doing now, is for paying me back?"_

_"Maybe." I sat on the bed and put the ice bag onto her forehead. Then I held her hand into mine._

_"So when's the end?"_

_"Um…until you feel it enough."_

_She didn't answer, which made me a little confused. And then I realized something._

_"Wait wait wait…you…you're not saying it's…" _

_Nikita nodded, "Yes, I am. It's enough. Really."_

_"Oh!" Although I always underestimated the level of her feeling satisfied, I was still kind of "amazed" this time._

_"So…if you wanna…" she said, and at the same time suddenly started to hold my hand a little more tightly. And this reaction completely sold her out. She didn't mean what she was going to say. Not at all._

_"Okay." I stopped deliberately, and lowered my head to see her face, enjoying her nervousness as well as her attempt to hide the nervousness. "Since you said it's enough, well, Pay-back Project Phase one completed!" I said, "Now Phase two starts."_

_"Phase two?" Nikita frowned at me._

_"Yeah. Target updated. It won't end until I say it's enough." I lightly touched her head._

_"And when is that?"_

_"I don't know. But…I'm not really that easy to satisfy." I smiled._

_So did she, and put my hand on her pillow near her face. Then she rested on my hand._

I pulled over near a square in Brussels. Both of us were waiting for Nikita's call.

I kept knocking on the steering wheel with my finger, but maybe I didn't really realize I was doing that. Until Michael's phone rang up.

I was like…jumped up from the seat, which I believed Michael had already been used to. He picked up, and turned on the hands-free before I opened my mouth.

"Nikita?" said Michael.

"Yeah. We are here, in Owen's safe house. All clear."

"Either of you got hurt?" I again broke in, "You know where the medicine-chest is…"

"Yeah, I can find it. Alex is a little wounded." said Nikita.

"Okay."

"But we didn't get the box. Ari still has it."

"That's OK." I said, "He's got a long time to decrypt it. It'll be much safer for Ari rather than the guardians to have the only one box left."

"The only one?" Nikita wondered.

"Yeah…" answered Michael, "seems we have a lot to explain to each other."

"yeah…" she sounded like she was smiling.

"And…there's something more we should explain." Michael lowered his head a bit. I knew I didn't need to bother about what they talked next.

"Something more?"

"Yeah, something…about us. I think we have a lot to talk about, but first I'd have to go back to London, resolving…something. I'll try to be in New York in two days. Yeah?"

"OK…" Nikita answered.

Michael hung up the phone. We separated at the airport. Michael was taking the flight to London; while I was gonna fly back to St. Petersburg.


	46. Back to Safe House

As soon as the plane landed, I found a car and drove back to my safe house. In a supermarket nearby, I replenished my stocks of food, as I had two guests waiting in my house.

Alex…I had seen her once on the P9 mission. I recalled her face in my brain and then went to get some pajamas also. Then in a pharmacy, I bought a bunch of bandage and pain killers. The regimen thing suddenly hit me, which made my steps a little slower. Then I left that place.

"I'm back!" I said, after I opened the door. Just as expected, I saw no one within my range of vision. "It's me, Nikita. You can put your gun down and walk out of that bookshelf…" While I was saying this, I went directly to the kitchen with all the things I bought. But before I finished my words, Nikita had already shown her appearance.

"Oh, you look great." I had a look over her, no visible injures.

She shrugged her shoulder, "But you seem not." She pointed to my face.

I smiled and just shrugged my shoulder also. Then I saw the girl behind Nikita.

"Owen, it's…" Nikita put her hand on that girl's shoulder and said to me.

"Alex, I guess." I said.

"Yeah…"

"Hi Alex. We've met, you might not remember though." I walked over to Alex, "My name's Owen Elliot. Ex-guardian. Just ended my cooperation with Gogol." Then I had a look at Nikita and kept on, "I killed her fiancé, and she saved my life." I reached out my hand to her, "Nice to meet you."

Nikita was giving me that look again.

_She never got satisfied with my self-introduction, which included as following:_

_"Hello Daniel, my name's Owen Elliot. Well you have that latter part of the name too. Yeah, that means I'm your father. Sorry I didn't ask for your permission."_

_"Hello Emily Elliot. I'm your dad, and my name is Owen. From your brother's experience, I am quite a lousy dad. But you have a brilliant mom and genius elder brother, so I guess you're kinda lucky."_

"Hi Owen." said Alex, "I'm Alex, ex Division agent, now free agent. She also saved my life by the way." She held my hand and shook, "Nice to meet you too." She smiled.

So I guess…me and Alex, we could get along, huh? I looked to Nikita. Her expression said she agreed with me.

"So ladies, you must be hungry after a whole day's game. I'm gonna…" I took out the milk and wanted to heat them.

"Owen." Nikita called at my back.

"Yeah?"

"Sit." said her.

Weird as I was feeling, I still put down the milk and sat down by the table. She moved away the medicine-chest, and then pressed on my head with her hand. I couldn't help shivering when her skin touched mine. And I felt even weirder.

"What?" said Nikita, "You got injured, remember?"

"Ah…oh…" I nodded. Then she disinfected the wound for me. I closed my eyes, feeling that my heart was beating abnormally fast. This was not the first time she took care of my wounds, but absolutely the first time that she did it when I wasn't passing out.

"Uh…" I heard Alex saying, "You want to heat the milk, right?"

"Yeah." I opened my eyes.

"Well then I think I can do it." she walked to the kitchen.

"Oh, thanks. Sugar's in that cabinet up there."

"Not at all." She smiled, "I'd thank you for letting me stay here."

"Oh…" I was so hurried to explain something that I quickly turned my head to her direction, which forced Nikita's hand to move away.

"Hey!" Nikita gave me an annoyed shout, her hand still holding a cotton bud.

"Ah sorry…" I shrank my head back to the same spot. Nikita was frowning at me, but soon smiled, and continued her work.

"What you wanted to say?" she asked me.

"Oh…" I remembered what I just intended to do, so wanted to turn my head again. But this time Nikita strengthened her pressure and my attempt turned out to be in vain. So I just started to say like that. "Alex." I called her.

"Yeah?"

"I bought this house with Zetrov wealth. That's where Gogol get their operation fund. That's your father's asset, so help yourself. And by the way, it is me that should say thank you."

"My father…heh…"

Alex's voice sounded a little weird to me. I opened my eyes and looked at Nikita with some confusion. I asked her with my eyes and Nikita understood my question, but she just tipped her head slightly, kind of helpless.

It seemed that there was a lot more I needed to get aware of.

Nikita finished treating my wounds, and asked, "You got any information there?"

"Well…" I stood up and walked to the kitchen, "basically, Michael and I took down one guardian, and the remaining two boxes. Michael stole that guardian's identity and went to the guardian meeting that Percy held. Guardians are going back to New York in two days."

"New York?" asked Nikita, "Division?"

"Yeah. That's what I guess New York means." I shrugged, turned to Alex, "Sugar, okay?"

"Yeah okay. Thanks." Alex nodded. She seemed a little upset since the "father" topic.

"Guardians are back to Division?" said Alex.

"I think so." I gave the glass of milk to her, "Percy's locked up, right?"

"Yeah, in a glass cage down underground Division, looks like a research lab for rare animals."

"To some extent, Percy is kind of a rare animal." said Nikita. "Who's in charge in that meeting?"

"Roan." I said, giving another glass to Nikita.

"Roan?" Alex looked surprised.

"Anything wrong?"

"I thought that guy was reliable to Amanda. And…"

"And what?" asked Nikita.

"He doesn't have chance to get close to Percy. Only Amanda, and me, can talk to him. Well, I can talk to him only because Percy sometimes didn't want to talk to Amanda."

"Talk about what?" asked Nikita.

"Missions. Amanda wanted to know what's in Percy's black box, and Percy asked something for return."

"Like what?" Nikita and I asked at the same time. We looked at each other, and then I lowered my head and drank up my glass of milk.

"All kinds of things," answered Alex, "afternoon tea, TV, desk, newspapers…"

"He's decorating his room?" said me.

"Yeah, looks so." Alex shrugged, "Maybe he's not satisfied with the way his wife decorates the room, and wanted to refresh it."

"Hah…" I laughed.

"What did Percy ask for?" Nikita was still kind of serious, "Do you remember?"

"Sort of. Why?" asked Alex.

"Write them down." Nikita was trying to find notebook or something. I took one out from my jacket pocket. She said, "There's no way that Percy just asked them for their visible function. It's not his style. There had to be something else."

"Whoa, you appear to know him better than his wife did." I teased.

"Shut up."

Soon Alex finished a list. "British morning tea, cable TV, New York Times, desk, suit, pencil…" I read the items without thinking.

"How did Amanda deal with the morning tea and newspaper thing? I mean those daily stuffs." asked Nikita.

"Send someone to deliver at the fixed timing, and replace them with the new ones the next day."

"So where would the old ones go? Will Amanda check them?"

"I don't think so. Maybe just discarded. Unless Amanda needs to ask Percy something, she won't usually stop by that cage."

"Yeah okay…" Nikita nodded, "Newspaper, pencil…maybe this is how Percy sent his message."

"Newspaper and pencil?" asked me and Alex.

"Yeah, newspaper offers a lot of ways to send messages. Too old-fashioned though, still works well." Nikita shrugged, "Percy likes these old tricks, free of electric power. Obviously can be seen from the guardian he's picked."

I didn't realize anything until I suddenly noticed the silence lasted a little long. "The guardian he's picked" meant…me…

"Hey!" I put down the notebook, looking at the two cheekily grinning ladies, and giving them a big being fooled face.

"Old, but reliable." Nikita smiled.

And I smiled too. I had told her this long ago and she still remembered it, so it's definitely fine that she made fun of me sometimes…well…often.

"OK, next question." said Nikita, "Why you?"

"Me?" asked Alex.

"Why Percy would talk to you instead of Amanda? Why he…trusted you, instead of anyone else in Division."

"I don't know. Maybe because I am free of Amanda's administration, and have nothing to do with Oversight."

"Yeah maybe…Did Percy only talk to you when Amanda asked you talk to him? Or have you had any only-between-you-two conversation?"

"Let me think…" Alex raised her head, her hands playing with the glass, "Yes, we have."

"When?"

"Before I came here. Percy gave me the fund to get here."

"What? I though it was Amanda." Nikita was surprised.

"Amanda did get me some intels, but it seemed she didn't agree with me getting to Semak. But I didn't have the patience any more."

"How did Percy give you the money?" asked Nikita.

"He asked me to do an online transfer for him…"

"To a guardian." I finally got the chance to break in, after so many rounds turning my head back and forth between them two.

"A guardian?" Now they both looked at me, and asked.

"Miller, the one in France. When I hacked into his account with Gogol resource, I saw there was a big sum of income."

"Maybe it's the trigger." said Nikita.

I agreed, "Maybe that's the operation fund under the new rules."

"So…it's my mistake." Alex shook her head.

"No…" Nikita tapped on her shoulder, "I started that mistake."

Alex stared at her with some kind of complexity in her eyes. Then she just shook her head again.

I was kind of lost in their conversation. Was it because I lacked some certain background information, or it's just because this was the so-called girls talk?

Whichever reason it was, I didn't really like this atmosphere, so I stood up and went to the kitchen, intending to do some cooking.

"Do you have any preference for food, Alex?" I asked.

"Preference?"

"Yeah, like someone here is allergic to animal protein." I looked in Nikita's direction.

"Shut up."

"And she definitely causes people around her to be allergic as well." corroborated Alex.

"Agreed!" I said, and started to sort and clean the greens.

"Wwwwait, you know cook?" Alex asked in round-eyed wonder.

"Yeah. Do I look like not able to learn this?"

"No…" Alex frowned, "I mean…yeah…you do…"

I accepted her answer, quite peacefully, because it was not the first time I received such judgment. I was thinking that, if there were over ten people doubting me at this tone with this kind of look, I really needed to wear a T-shirt, printing "I can cook!".

_And there was one day, Daniel came to me and told me, "Dad, it's time." And I saw Emily was standing behind Daniel, holding a T-shirt on which they had painted that sentence for me, and laughing like a flower._

Nikita laughed and said to Alex, "When you have eaten the food he cooks, you'll just feel even more incredible. No joking."

Hah, her so positive comment really flattered me.

"Ah…it'll take some time before food's ready. Do you wanna…" I pointed to the bathroom with my eye.

"Oh, Alex, how about taking a shower?" Nikita said, and taking Alex to the bathroom.

Hmm…maybe taking this opportunity, I could get a better knowledge from Nikita about Alex's background.


	47. Vacancy

When Nikita walked into the kitchen after settling down Alex, I was dealing with the food.

"Need help?" asked Nikita.

"Yeah, help me finish them." I answered with a smile.

She smiled and sat down by the table.

"So…" I said, "about Alex…"

"Yeah?" she asked, her hand supporting her cheek.

"I see that she seems to be back on your side now, so…are you willing to answer my question that you avoided the day before yesterday?"

"What…" she lowered her head. And I was pretty sure she actually knew what I meant.

"Why didn't she trust you anymore?" I repeated the question, "Nikita, I am working with Alex too, kind of. I need to know that."

"I killed her father…" said her, "in Operation Pale Fire, and…I kept this from her."

"Oh…" I said. Honestly, I had thought of this possibility, "Just this?"

"Yeah…"

"Oh." I went on with the cooking, I knew my question brought her down, but my next question would be even worse, "Why did you keep it from her?"

"I don't know…I was afraid that she would…"

"Leave you? Or do not trust you? Or even worse…kill you?"

Nikita nodded.

"Hey, I killed Daniel, and I told you that." I said, "But you didn't…leave me or…hey, you do trust me, right? And…now you don't want to kill me, right?"

"That depends." Nikita stood up and grinned.

"Still can't accept there's someone else that thinks the same way as you do, huh?" I looked at her smile. She was always like this. For her, forgiving herself was so much harder than forgiving others.

"Shut up." she answered as usual.

Alright, Alex issue was figured out. Priority One accomplished! I shook the pot and kept with the cooking.

Things turned out much easier than I'd thought, or…as easier as I'd thought.

_Nikita always liked to make things complicated, though everyone else didn't feel it necessary. She was so good at solving others' problems but could just do nothing when it came to herself. She was fine being let down, but would never let go if she let someone else down. So what I needed to do was to pay more attention to her, asking her "Are you OK" now and then, and never bought her answers like "I'm OK"._

_The most classic case was when Daniel came to her in the very beginning._

_Both she and I had not lived a normal life, so we had barely no experience in this area. As a woman, she had a little advantage over me to sense Daniel's arrival, so she got nervous much earlier than me._

_After three days of her acting abnormal, I asked her, "So…you are pregnant."_

_"What? How do you know that?"_

_"I guess such books are not really interesting for leisure." I took out from under her pillow the book about babies, "And you don't have a good appetite recently." I leaned forward to her, "Why didn't you tell me?" I felt a little angry, which seemed to be the first time I'd felt angry with her._

_"I…I just…I'm not sure…" Nikita lowered her head._

_"You didn't go to the hospital?" I asked her. I hoped she hadn't yet, because if she had been to the hospital, alone, I would seriously get angry, for the first time._

_"No." she said._

_"OK." I then held her up and let her sit inside the car. I drove to the hospital._

_We both didn't talk on the way, because I was actually not less freaked out than her. Maybe that Daniel always liked thinking too much really had something to do with his parents' anxiety._

_When we arrived at hospital and I carried her into the doctor's room, the doctor said, "So apparently you're the father."_

_"Yeah." I answered, kind of starting to realize this was a proud thing. So I began to giggle. And according to Nikita, my giggle lasts until Daniel was born._

_"Already two and a half months…you didn't have any uncomfortable feelings?" doctor asked._

_"No…" Nikita shook her head and answered._

_I had been worried that Nikita said no was just because her toleration towards "uncomfortable" was way too high above the normal level, but from my observation in the following days, I just found out that I didn't need to worry at all, because Daniel was such a considerate baby that he was already thinking for his mother even when still in her belly._

_"Good boy." said the doctor._

_Yeah, I agreed, 100%._

_Then the doctor mentioned a list of matters needing attention, and I took a crazy note of them under the doctor's confused look._

_"Anything else?" I asked the doc, who just shook his head._

_So I thanked him, and held her, ah…them! I held THEM up and walk through the corridor outside the doctor's room._

_"Owen, this is too much…" Nikita hid her face in my chest and murmured._

_"Keeping saying that if you want much MORE." I answered._

_Then she stayed very coorperately quiet. I let her sit in the back seat of the car and drove back home. And I held her, oh wrong again! I held THEM up, went into the house and sat down in the couch with THEM still in my arms._

_"So…" I opened my notebook._

_"What is this?" Nikita looked up at me and asked._

_"New Guardian protocol." said me, "So are you tired?"_

_She shook her head._

_"OK…no solution to such negitive answers…" I put down the book._

_"So what to do?" she chuckled._

_"Don't know…maybe sit here until you feel tired?" I said, cuddling her with a little more strength._

_She smiled and kissed on my chin._

OK, let's get back to the NOW moment.

With Alex issue figured out, there were two more subjects needing conquer:

What happened to Ryan? (Oh am I being the Mr. Question now?)

And what about that human-computer? How come would he be caught and what now?

"So…" I looked at Nikita.

"Yeah?"

I'd like to ask about Ryan, but considering her act earlier, I didn't think I would like the answer. And…the dinner was almost ready and I didn't want to make her small appetite even smaller, so I skipped Ryan to ask about Birkhoff.

"How did Amanda captured Birkhoff?" I asked.

"Um…" Nikita lowered her head.

Oops, bad question too…

"Because of me…" said Nikita in a very low voice.

"Hah?"

"I tracked the location of Oversight's meeting, so I went over there, trying to monitor their Meeting…And Michael was not there, so Birkhoff was being my back up…"

"Whoa, the computer geek finally willing to go outside the house?" I joked, yet not actually effective to cheer up the atmosphere.

"It's my fault, and they found out the meeting was bugged. Birkhoff didn't manage to get out…so…"

"Were they equipped with heavy defence force? I mean…guards…"

"No. The meeting was classified, so there were not many people involved besides the Oversight members."

"Oh…" I got a little frowned. Not many guards, and she had handled much worse situations before, no failure…

"Michael was not there, so I was…I was…" she didn't say anything but just shook her head.

"I get it…"

I knew what Michael meant to her, and I could see how her relationship with Michael had been affecting her. I didn't know whether it was right, because honestly, I could no longer judge it fairly. All I knew was, this was not the Nikita I had known. And I liked that Nikita, part of whom wanted to kill me though.

"How is Birkhoff now?" I asked, "His hand…"

"I don't know. I hope he is obeying the doctor's advice, taking medicine on time, having a good rest."

"Isn't that easy?"

"No." Nikita shrugged her shoulder, "He even didn't eat things that can at least be called 'food'."

"Oh…Division's most successful achievement, huh? Depriving your ability of living on after you leave there." Francis' face appeared in my head again, obviously. And the regimen as well.

"Apparently Division failed on you." said Nikita.

"Yeah. I learn things slow. Single-celled, you know."

Nikita answered with a pale smile.

"Oh, which reminds me…" I put down the pan. All foods were set, with some were being heated and some just needed a quick fry after Nikita taking a shower.

"What?"

"Alex's clothes." I said, "I forgot one." Then I took it out from my bag and delivered it to their room. I saw Alex's left her clothes on the bed. Um…need a good wash. And…I noticed one thing which was a little weird.

"After all this shit, maybe you can consider running a hotel." Nikita smiled.

"Yeah? I was kinda hypercritical to my guests."

"Oh?" She seemed a little confused.

"Um…nothing. Oh!" I thought of that weird thing, "You taught Alex those…kind of…spy things, right?"

"Yeah."

"Together with your dressing style?"

"What? What do you mean?"

"Seldom dressing like a girl. And her watch…I don't think girls' watch has that kind of design."

"Watch?" Nikita got frowned and walked to the bedroom. Soon she came back with that watch, "I don't think it's produced in her years."

"So that's…"

Alex happened to finish the shower and walked out of the bathroom.

"Alex?" Nikita called her.

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?" Then Nikita walked over to Alex, put her hand on Alex's shoulder and they went into the bedroom.

So I focused back on the cooking. Alex dressed the same as Nikita did after shower the other night. But…I didn't really feel anything different in me. My heart was still beating normally. Yeah…nothing different…is there? Well, whatever, I should have chances to confirm it.

I guessed they had spent some time discussing about this watch. When they came back, I heard Nikita calling a name "Sean".

"Who is Sean?" I asked.

"Someone with a lot of stories." answered Nikita.

"Mind telling me a couple of them?"

"He is assigned to watch over Amanda by Oversight." said Alex.

"To protect his mother." Nikita continued the words.

"His mother?" Alex asked for me.

"Yeah. Senator Pierce, one of the Oversight members."

"What?" Alex was apparently shocked, and she looked down at the watch.

"That belonged to Alex's father." Nikita said, "Sean took it from Division's 'war trophies' warehouse."

"Division's warehouse?" I repeated, with my attention caught by the word "Division".

"Yeah. He said it's for good luck." said Alex.

"He supported you to come to Russia?" Nikita asked, "Why? Did Amanda know this?"

"I don't think so."

"Then why Sean…" Nikita suddenly stopped and seemed to realize something.

So did I.

"Are you guys…you…"

"No…no, I…don't know…" Alex shook her head and still was looking at the watch.

From Nikita's face, I didn't think she understood what Alex meant, but what's weird was, I did.

And Division's warehouse…

Yeah, I thought I knew the thing I could relate to Division. But considering Alex's relationship with the Sean guy, I didn't feel it good to name it directly.

So I asked, "This Sean…can he be trusted?"

"I don't know." Alex said, and I could see confusion in her eyes, which in my perspective involved some other reasons. "I don't even know him better than you guys do." She turned to Nikita, "Before you told me, I don't even know his mother is with Oversight." She fell onto the seat with a kind of despairing expression, like she could trust no one.

"Look," Nikita sat down next to her, "I don't know about him, but…he destroyed one black box, and I'm sure what he is doing is all for protecting his mother. Just like you."

Alex smiled. I knew Nikita would never let people around her have that despairing expression for any longer, and maybe that's why I didn't want to see despair in her face.

And Alex's mother…what about this issue? Noble family always brought so many stories?

But anyway, I got to know how Alex saw that Sean guy, so I said to her, "Alex, do you mind if I change the battery for your watch?"

"What?" Alex looked surprised.

Nikita also looked at me, "Owen, do you mean…" she stood up.

"Open up the case, change the battery, and see if there's something else by the way." I shrugged.

"Something…else?" asked Alex.

"A tracker." I answered, and looked at Nikita, who already realized this.

"A tracker?"

"Almost everything coming out from Division has that small object." I said, pointing each of us, the former tracker carriers.

"And why would Sean do that?" Alex took off the watch.

"Hey, it's not confirmed yet." I took the watch, "It's just an assumption. I'll check it first, alright?" I said, and set all the food on the table, "Dinner's ready. Shall we…"

"I don't really think I have the appetite." said Nikita. And I thought Alex agreed with her.

"Hah…" now I realized I came up with a really stupid assumption. But I thought any question now would lead to the same result.

"Well, we need to fix all the problems, but before that, we need to confirm that we have that condition, which is…we are not dying from starvation." I jumped up and put onto the highest spot of the shelf, "Now, let's have dinner."

Alex was frowning at my childish behaviors, and Nikita was like…she had already got used to it. She sat down, and Alex had to do the same. So did I.

Alex took a bit of food from her plate, "Wow…"

"I guess it does not mean the food sucks." I said.

"Wow…I mean, it does exceed my expectation."

"It's not difficult, considering your expectation to my cooking ability, it's not difficult to exceed it."

Nikita chuckled.

"So I guess I should apologize for my stupid expectation."

"Not necessary. Normally, everyone would think like you. It's me that breached the rule." I said, and saw Nikita seem to want to say something. But she held back.

_When I asked her later, she said, "Owen, you actually breached too many rules."_


End file.
